oh god first of all thanks for everyone here showing all the love and support but sorry this time I think Im taking you guys for a negative spin so please consider reading on or not. I dont know what Im hoping to achieve making the post but I just felt necessary to do it at this time. current feeling I am getting almost all day long is that I have no more options left for myself and now all seem too late I am pushing 30s grieving at all the thing I should've but haven't done. (what a useless thought. I know I know I even realise I probably deliberately put myself into this experience. I can focus on the now, acknowledging the situation as of now but after a few years nothing changed.)
I recently moved back with my mom and sis in another country hoping things should get better but no. deep down I probably seen it coming was just hopig for the best. it's been almost a decade since Im in this place so all my friends are gone. worse yet its awkward being with family cause it's been 5 yrs since. and its uncomfortable cause now we're all cramped up in this tiny space we're renting. my intention was to continue my study in a college and theres the fee and transportation problem. it'll be 3 years before I get the proper car license and with my current qualifications I cant see myself scoring any job here.... languages a barrier. keeping an eye out for parttime ones. if it's so bad why not move back? where I was was worse for me lets just leave it at that I gave away enough details just to illustrate the situation.. no friends no income no job no qualifications, not much hope and a whole bag of grieve and guilt not to mention bloody bored all the time cause nowhere I can go. I dont have a problem meeting new people. my but is I'll need to spend the money I dont have to social and all that jazz. plus I cant freaking drive. a car, a place, some cash and some confidence is my biggest obstacles I can think of and companions is what will get me back on track the most. fuckme.
("too late" to "start over" stuck as a belief for me. and thats definitely not the vision I had for myself 10 years ago. I guess I still cant make peace with that.)
guys I know you'd probably suggest me to take it slow and do things little by little. thats what I will be doing it's either that or give it up altoghether it's only that I feel like shit everyday and cannot choose to be productive at all and the feeling still piles up day to day and it's been like this for years and years to the point that rationally thinking and being optimistic too I concluded there has to be something wrong. wrong as in how can I have all these visions and plans but never attract anything. it's not only the money i sought after it's the experience and people.
(the "fear" seems to be repeating the mistakes I cannot identify.)
Im grateful for yall here no doubt about that. in similar fucked up situation what and how would you do it? please do not put me in your shoes it's all real problems in my face I have to deal with and I just.. not so confident not so sure anymore. so what eh
ps. I know Im much more than this. no symphonies needed. I know I'll get thru this hardship. it'll just be a past event then. still I decide to post it and itching for more wisdom.
Hopeless?... Firstly, I would suggest removing that word from your vocabulary. No situation is ever hopeless.
Pushing 30s... you're only a baby, be thankful you've got time on your side.
I think the first step you have to take is eliminating some of those limited beliefs around securing a job. Generating an income seems to be the first thing you should work on. Take a look at Stingray's latest manifesting experiment http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/14919/manifesting-experiment-4-the-resistance-release-method-get-what-you-want-by, it may help clear up some of the resistance you're holding on to... our own resistance is the only thing that stops us moving forward.
"It's only that I feel like shit everyday and cannot choose to be productive at all"... if you hold on to that belief, you won't be productive. You can choose to feel differently and until you consciously decide to make that choice, nothing will change. It's never "too late" to "start over". I think you need to start replacing that negative talk with affirmations that are a bit more uplifting.
Don't make it about "getting thru this hardship", make it about changing your perceptions by changing your beliefs and your reality will begin to change accordingly. It won't be an overnight fix and it will require quite a bit of determination and persistence on your part, but making a choice to do so and putting forth the effort will reap rewards.
Be hopeful :)
answered 26 Jun '11, 13:21
EFT-Emotional Freedom Technique- is a fast, effective way to eliminate negative emotions, limiting beliefs, fears and phobias, depression, anxiety, etc... If you don't know how to do it, you can search at youtube.com and find many videos demonstrationg how to. I like the one by Judy Byrnes. There are also posts here about it, search for tags with EFT. Since you don't have a job, you should have plenty of time to work on this. You can use Stingray's Manifesting Experiment 4 to organize the things you need to tap on with the EFT. Spend some time every morning tapping on the biggest problems first. You might be able to do a round or two and totally eliminate it. On the other hand, you might need to tap on the same thing several rounds daily for awhile. Be patient and persistent with EFT.
Also, if language is a barrier, learn as much of the language as you can and practice with your family. You can tap on that too!
Now this might seem obvious, so I haven't mentioned it in answers, but I realized that it isn't obvious to everybody, or we would all be happy. One thing I learned as a child and have forgotten occassionally over the years, long enough to get down and then remember this precious (truth). Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy. Sometimes we let 'should' rule our lives. We should be miserable because we don't have a job. We should get angry because somebody pulled in front of us in traffic. We should be lonely because we don't have any friends. I should be depressed because I am in pain. Says who?!?! I should be happy because it's better than not being happy! You should be happy because it's better than not being happy! So, what is really in the way? Your thoughts. So, change them. How? If you are thinking negative thoughts, replace them with good ones. The darkness leaves when the sun comes out, except where there is an obstacle to create darkness (shadow). Cast these shadows out too with positive thoughts. If you are thinking, "Woa is me, I have no job," change it to, "I love doing__! That's what I want to do!" Or other thoughts of what you want. If you are thinking, "Language is a barrier," change it to, "I get to practice a new language in a foreign land!" Think of the positive side of everything. If you get angry with someone, thank God they are in your life. The EFT really helps to get emotion down that goes with the thoughts.
answered 26 Jun '11, 13:35
Hi. I and you are the same age. I have a lot of things to do which I haven't done in the past, and feel so much presure inside. But I have never allowed my mind to tell me I am hopeless or too late. I can't say do not listen to those voice inside your head that may be telling you...." you are too old, its too late, look at your freinds, you have wasted so much time...etc" but I would say be ccarfull and observe as they come and gently direct them to the truth. In my case, every time such kind voice arise in my head, I gently say to myself, I am on my own journy. I can only compare myself with myself. Like Mia yesterday and Mia today but not myself with other people. Although its not easy, its really a choice to make. So make a choices that will bring you the result you want constantly. At the end, please do not make any of your problems bigger than "God".
Never give up!!!!! and its never too late.
answered 26 Jun '11, 15:43
Hey there! OMGoodness, can I relate to you. In my thirties I lived in a tiny, two-bedroom home with five other people (four of them teenagers), one bathroom, and a constantly failing septic system that we could never afford to repair. I was living in a painful hell personally as I kept getting deadly staph infections in my knee joints and feet and spent all my waking moments in agony. I finally cried out to God exactly what Jesus said as he was about to die on the cross: "Father in Heaven, why have You forsaken me?" This moment came when I discovered that my traveling application-engineer husband was cheating on me. I had no education, no car, no family support of any kind,, no friends, no nothing.
God was totally out-to-lunch for me. I prayed and prayed, but He chose not to show me what to do, or even how to have hope.
Looking back now, I can see VERY CLEARLY what was wrong: I was operating on the belief that I absolutely had to honor the vows I made to God when I got married. I thought God would make me homeless or something if I kicked my husband out of the house. Mostly, I was terrified. I wasted so much time sticking to that belief about divorce! I am ashamed to say that it took me another twenty years or so to discover a new belief, one that turned my life around. That belief freed me from everything I was suffering. Here it is:
The first thought I threw in the garbage was the belief that I would burn in Hell if I violated and destroyed my marriage vows. I changed my thinking about God to this: God first and foremost loves me unconditionally and beyond belief, and would NEVER send me to hell for dumping a man who obviously was not the man for me.
After I changed just that one major belief, the magic began to happen! Truly! I started going to college online, and the government is footing the bill. Another false belief blasted! The next change was courtesy of a dear friend, who had the courage to really kick me in the butt, and point out what a negative and self-involved creature I was. His courage in doing this was life-changing for me. Not only did he kick me in the butt, he stuck with me after that and then went ahead and started to love the new creature I was becoming!!! What a great Gift from God!
One final thing: Only you- really!- Only YOU can create your reality. Period. Please take a look at my vision about the Mind of God. I am telling you that thought is a real energy, and has the power to create because we all live within this Mind of God...
Good luck, and God Bless.
answered 26 Jun '11, 16:47
God will not give you more than you can bear, and God will help those that help themselves!
There is no shortage in the universe, and there is enough to go around to all of us. Therefore, it is just a case of you knowing how to attract, and manifest your piece of the Great Big Pie into your own life; and indeed you will learn all you want to know about the Law of Attraction from our diverse group here on Inward Quest!
answered 27 Jun '11, 02:13
Inactive User ♦♦
money to make friend? go take a walk in the park or in the woods anny place that is free you will meet people. feeling like shit you do not have to feel like that in fact you can feel as you want to feel. do not let people or situation put you down you are the one making the choice you are in control of your life. get a job look around someone needs help and is ready to employ you somewhere go find it.
answered 27 Jun '11, 07:08
I cannot add much to the comments as they are excellent thoughts.
However, I will make on suggestion... your name "Imperfect" it needs to go, and that is so simple to do... with a space, a capital "P" and a ...'.... you can now change it to: I'm Perfect.
Matter of fact, use EFT and just tap on that a few times a day and you will feel a shift in your energy.
answered 27 Jun '11, 14:57
if you want to remain imperfect, then you can can continue on, no change, no growth;
answered 28 Jun '11, 01:11
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