If you create your own reality with your beliefs, does that mean that you are solely responsible if someone else hurts you?

asked 14 Nov '09, 22:58

Vesuvius's gravatar image


edited 14 Nov '09, 23:31

Yes we can hurt others, either with our thoughts or actions. However they have to be a vibrational match to those thoughts or actions, consciously or unconsciously.


answered 14 Nov '09, 23:23

Michaela's gravatar image


What do you mean by, "They have to be a vibrational match?" Does "they" mean "others," or "thoughts/actions"?

(14 Nov '09, 23:28) Vesuvius

"they" means "others". The object of the thought or action has to be a match vibrationally. If I were wishing harm to someone who was in a good feeling place that thought with have no consequence for them, however if I were thinking something beneficial for that same person it would enhance their feeling of wellbeing as the thought would match their vibration.

(14 Nov '09, 23:43) Michaela

Can you employ physical force to produce harm, or are they still protected if they are in a good feeling place?

(14 Nov '09, 23:46) Vesuvius

@Vesuvius, they simply wouldn't attract someone to harm them if they were in a good feeling place. But this must be their dominant vibration not just something they achieve, say, for a few minutes and then go back to living in fear etc.

(15 Nov '09, 07:43) Stingray

@Stingray The bit about "this must be their dominant vibration" is actually worth flagging up - a lot of people don't get that.

(26 Nov '13, 07:28) Catherine

@Catherine, good point. I think that missing that bit is what gets many people very frustrated. It's a bit like dieting: "I haven't eaten anything all day, so why aren't I skinny yet?" ;)

(26 Nov '13, 12:36) Grace

@Grace LOL ... love the diet analogy.

(26 Nov '13, 12:43) Catherine

@Catherine - :) Hahaha true, isn't it? It's never what you do once in a while, but what you do regularly, day after day, that transforms your life.

(27 Nov '13, 16:34) Grace
showing 2 of 8 show 6 more comments

I think there are too many examples of horrific tragedies happening to innocent people to believe that everyone is solely responsible for the hurts inflicted upon them. Do victims of natural tragedies choose to be hurt? Do victims of terrorist attacks choose to be hurt? Do abused children choose to be hurt? I can't imagine telling such a victim (if they are still alive) that they are responsible for the hurt that was done to them. We have a lot of influence--even control--over the reality that we are living, but the fact remains that "life happens" (to put it euphemistically) and there's sometimes nothing we can do to prevent it. Far more important is the creating of our reality in response to what happens to us. "What am I going to do with my life now, given the fact that this hurtful thing has happened to me?" I think people get too carried away with reality creation. It's very real, yes, but there's a large measure of reality that is the result of the comingling and interacting of many different people creating realities that often are in conflict with each other.


answered 15 Nov '09, 08:01

John's gravatar image



As hard as it may be to hear John, yes, every single one of those "choices" was attracted without exception. I think a lot of the problem lies in the word "choose". Most people would not deliberately "choose" these things but they are vibrationally choosing them without often realizing it. I've spoken previously in this forum about how what we attract matches our emotional feeling, not the subject of our thoughts. So, for example, being terrified of your boss at work might be a vibrational match to, say, being caught up in a violent attack. It might appear random but it isn't.

(15 Nov '09, 08:48) Stingray

To accept that we choose (attract) everything that happens to us "vibrationally...without often realizing it" begs the question. If we are not aware, reality creation is not firmly under our control and though we choose not to be hurt, we may be hurt nevertheless. Further, if one does not believe in reality creation then it doesn't exist for them. Therefore, if they are harmed, it is not because they have attracted it to themselves, because that belief is not a part of their reality; or does your reality take precedence over theirs?

(15 Nov '09, 09:45) John

This reminds me of an Avatar quote, it went something like this: "Everything you believe you experience, unless you don't believe that then you don't which means you did."

(15 Nov '09, 17:57) Wade Casaldi

@Wade, I think my head just exploded.

(15 Nov '09, 20:09) Vesuvius

@John, sorry only just noticed your comment. Yes, if you are not aware then you cannot consciously "choose" to be hurt or not. You are like a boat adrift on the open sea not knowing where the next wave will knock you. The goal is therefore to make people aware, to give back the control. Regarding the second part of your comment, Abraham have a favorite statement: "You are so free, you can choose to imprison yourself". Further, you cannot not believe something (like reality creation). You have to believe something else instead and that is what you attract.

(16 Nov '09, 05:21) Stingray

@Vesuvius - Me too! ...I gave it a few minutes and it did sink in. Very cool. Thanks for sharing @Wade. :)

(25 Nov '13, 18:21) Grace

Whoops, this was not this November LOL I am running 4 years behind sorry... ;)

(25 Nov '13, 18:21) Grace

we are indeed little Gods. remember God has created us in his own image. once a creator, always a creator. love,light and blessings :)

(28 Nov '13, 04:33) supergirl
showing 2 of 8 show 6 more comments

This is something I had given a lot of thought to and helped friends that felt hurt or used, I like to compare it to a painting on a wall. One critic comes and says "What is this, this is the worst painting I had ever seen in my life, look at the use of colors and those lousy brush strokes, my two year old could do better!" Along comes another critic and says "What is this, I have never seen a painting like this in my life! It is a master piece, just look at the use of color and those brush strokes are amazing, I have never see anything so good in my life!" Both critics had opinions but they were the opinions of their own biased experiences of what is, one did not like what he experienced, the other did like what he experienced. Both had thoughts of what makes a good painting and both where opposite of each other. Whether the painting was lifted up or put down it was still the painting. If we could be like the painting and just be through praise or criticism unaffected because we realize the praise or criticism is the experience of the observer and has nothing to do with the observed, we can stop being hurt by others. An example would be if a child laughed at Einstein and his equation and said "what is that, that is so stupid where did you learn math you even have letters in that!" Einstein would not be insulted, he would probably feel like someday he will learn and understand when he grows up. It is the authority of the opinion that can hurt us, if we place anyone above us they can hurt us with their words. But if we OWN OURSELVES and let no one be above us then their opinions matter little good or bad it is just an expression of their experiences to us. That is the key devalue any bad opinions, any names called, any put downs, think of the one doing so as below you and then their comments meant to harm feel like more like a cry for attention.


answered 15 Nov '09, 08:13

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

I basically agree with the premise that, if you have confidence in yourself and your abilities, then other peoples' criticism really shouldn't matter.

(15 Nov '09, 18:33) Vesuvius

Yes that is what I was really trying to express, the more we believe in ourselves the less we seek approval from others. It is when we don't believe in our selves then seen approval and get none or disapproval that we get hurt.

(16 Nov '09, 07:01) Wade Casaldi

No one can be hurt without his consent. That is same act, many people react differently. Some one called me lazy. If am lazy, accept it and work on it. If I am not, ignore it. Where is the space here to be hurt?


answered 02 Nov '13, 09:55

T%20D%20Joseph's gravatar image

T D Joseph

@T D Joseph, quite an old thread, but an interesting one.

Just to provide a contrasting opinion which I happen to also find likely.. Yes, to both, but you're looking at the question wrong. Explaining this level of experiencing life as a game. You choose upon entering the game what rules you wanted to set for yourself. Allowing yourself to be influenced, helped, hurt, changed, or otherwise by those who entered the game with you was an agreement made before knowing how the other participants would make use of this power over you which you're handing them.

As long as you're here in this life and of equal mortality to me then yes, you'll continue to be bound by the rules until this round of the game ends. That was one of the points of this experience, throwing ourselves at the potential mercy of a Will not our own while none involved thinks there are repercussions to anything if they don't get caught.

A test of what sort of creatures humans are when they think nobody is looking. Point being? As long as you're here, you're subject to unwillingly being hurt or harming others without being able to blame anyone for your actions but yourself. But don't think because you can do anything you want doesn't mean there wont be repercussions.


answered 02 Nov '13, 10:36

Snow's gravatar image


snow, your point rings true, on the way to self-consciousness the 'i want' gets little attention, the focus being diverted to what needs to be retooled, responsibility for possible reactions, though not just a one time fix rather a continuous reflection on today's imbalances. then harmlessness shines forth

(03 Nov '13, 18:56) fred

If you create your own reality with your beliefs, does that mean that you are solely responsible if someone else hurts you?


Is it possible to hurt someone else, or do they choose to be hurt?

Everything is creation!

Let's be clear.. what we have in reality is this thing we call "illusion" if I back my car accidently into you.. we call that illusion a accident.. where I "I accidently hurt you.. and it's my fault cause I'm supposed to be responsible for my actions" but the entire thing is a illusion.. because again everything is creation.

Evertime a person is hurt.. it's a choice.. in being hit by a car.. or by words.. like you swear at them or you tell them there a moron or bad person.. they can choose and often do to hurt themselves by "your words" this is a thing we've been doing a long time..

Never let anyone every tell you "your not good enough" "your not worthy enough" "your a bad person" because when you CHOOSE to believe this.. you do yourself a dis-service and in a way it is the other person projecting this.. that usually FEELS this themselves..

Bashar says "life is a mirror"

If life is truly a mirror like he says.. every time you tell someone their a moron, ass#$^$, dick#$^ it's all about you.. because it's you who's the moron, ass#$^$, dick#$^

Understanding that "life is a mirror" is a very powerful way to learn how to create, learn and understand reality :)


answered 27 Nov '13, 16:45

themaster's gravatar image


edited 27 Nov '13, 16:54

Yes, it's possible to hurt someone even if they are positive, just like it is possible to say negative things even if you are positive.

We live in a world with positive and negative behaving people but by choosing to stay positive and appreciate, that vibration will be dominant and things of that vibration will be pulled to you more frequently.

But because free-will exist, law of attraction wants to give you a chance to choose negativity, if you so wish, so it will send a negative message through a person and you can accept it or say "no thank you, I' ll stick with the positive".

For more information check out the concept of "Contrast" by Abraham Hicks, Abraham Hicks through Esther speaks of this idea well...

Abraham Hicks - The Biggest Missing Piece


answered 03 Dec '13, 22:23

arpgme's gravatar image



what i have found out so far, if your self worth and self esteem is high, u will never get hurted so easily. and if its low, u can easily get hurted.

secondly..outer world is mirror image of ur own mind. so, change ur thoughts into more positive ones and it will mirror it back. simple..

third thing, we are 100 % responsible for all the things that happens to us. so, see at first place hw u created such hurtful situations. and then, transform them..using various means like..replacing a negative thought with 4 positive thoughts., listening to energy uplifting music, listening to louise hay self esteem uplifting tapes. and many more.

hope it helps..

love,light and blessings ur way..

supergirl :))


answered 28 Nov '13, 05:08

supergirl's gravatar image


One has to be nearly enlightened or function almost fully seperate from his ego, to be do distant enough from the normal human experience that being hurt becomes a choice.

If you choose to hurt, you can always hurt. We are not a race of enlightened beings where being hurt is a choice.


answered 12 Dec '13, 14:44

Connect's gravatar image


edited 12 Dec '13, 14:44

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Asked: 14 Nov '09, 22:58

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Last updated: 12 Dec '13, 14:44

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