Is suffering a choice? Pain is inevitable but do we choose to extend the suffering due to the lack of accepting what is?
asked 04 Aug '11, 03:13
Pain is an inevitable part of life experience, however, I do think how long we suffer is optional. At some point we all feel pain whether physical pain or emotional pain due to the loss of a loved one or a traumatic event. I think suffering is a normal response but it's when we get stuck there it becomes a problem.
If I lose a loved one I am undoubtedly going to suffer and yes I know if there was no attachment there would be no suffering but I choose to be attached to those I love (it's the only flaw I have with the buddhist teachings) when they hurt I hurt. However, if I resist and deny what's happened I keep myself stuck in a place of suffering.That's why it's so important to move through the stages of the grieving process.
When we move into a place of acceptance the physical pain may still be there or the sadness over our loss but we are no longer creating more negativity around the situation or deriving a sense of identity from the pain so the suffering abates.I think when we stay stuck in the suffering it is a way of avoiding the pain and the suffering then becomes our story...we become lost in it.
I love how Eckhart Tolle puts it...
answered 04 Aug '11, 11:55
I don't think it is the lack of accepting what is, but rather the acceptance of it, and the resignation to it, rather than the heartfelt desire to have yourself be happy and healthy again. By seeing good in it, or believing that it's normal, you just attract more of the same.
answered 04 Aug '11, 03:34
within the law of cause and effect it is feasible that some of our suffering now
answered 04 Aug '11, 22:02
There's physical pain, which may be the result of an accident caused by negative thinking and attraction, and there's psychological pain which is always a choice caused by thinking. Either way, to prolong the pain is suffering. Thus, suffering is either an unconscious habit or once we're aware of the habit it becomes a conscious choice.
Some people choose to remain in a state of pain and suffering or to revisit that state often; so in a sense they're attached to their story of pain and suffering which is a choice. Upon closer examination you will find that those people, really, are attached to their own sense of importance and thus, their self-pity is really their self-importance masquerading as self-pity :)
On a deeper level, once one realizes the illusional nature of reality, one sees that the ego-self, which is that part of us that seeks attention from others through self-pity, is an artificial construct. Knowing this and adjusting how we view life accordingly, allows us to move through life and allows life to flow through us in a joyous manner; unhindered by pain and suffering, which, ultimately are unnecessary.
"suffering is necessary until we realise it was never necessary" can't remember were i read that quote;)
answered 05 Aug '11, 12:29
Suffering is part of the process that builds strength.
Those who suffer are blessed, because those who overcome learn the secrets of the Gods and become one of them.
Another word for a life of suffering is patience. All holy men aspire to be patient. The definition of patience is: Enduring pain, long suffering.
Think of it as, suffering is to the soul as weight lifting is to the body.
answered 02 Feb '12, 23:44
some do. how many time did i tell someone do not do that you are going to hurt your self and they do it anny way. how many people do bad choice that goes against what they want or need and suffer from it. if i can see it why does those people do not see it? and look at masochist they like to suffer it gives them a thrill. so yes some do. experience and enjoy.
answered 05 Aug '11, 03:02
WoW! I cannot believe some of the answers to this question...it makes me wonder if some of our members need to go someplace and visit kids who had their legs and arms blown off by land mines. Those kids are suffering, and I cannot accept that they chose this path; it is illogical and sick to believe such a thing about a child.
There has been a lot of philosophical writing on suffering. Why do we suffer? What is the point? Is there a point? Why must I suffer when others do not? Why does God allow suffering? All these questions have been tackled by some pretty deep philosophers, and they are still going at it.
I like the last quote. Suffering reveals the sort of person you are, and even sorts out your real friends!!! I have suffered many MRSA infections, and man, do they hurt and maim you! But I have found that in my pain, I CAN be strong, I CAN be funny, and I CAN be ME!
Great question, BTW.
answered 06 Aug '11, 16:38
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