May I first please ask, "What is it to be 'in love'" in the sense of a romance? Under the collective views of IQ, is this an unwise thing to do? I'm not sure why it would be, but I am quite intact about getting a definition of this...

Very plain and basic question, that may lack some specificness, but I'm afraid that's as detailed as I can get.

Perhaps being in love is obsessivness? Which is a possible close chain to lack?

Am I out of the vortex when I am in love specifically in this manner?

asked 18 Dec '11, 12:31

Nikulas's gravatar image


I would say that when you are "in love" with another person, you are actually loving a part of yourself that you are projecting onto them.

What we love in others is really what we love in ourselves. We are just using the other person as an excuse to experience the love that already exists within us but which we are not yet allowing ourselves to experience directly.

Is it an unwise thing to do?

Well, the basic principle about anything in life is...If it feels good to you, it is.

So for as long as it feels good, there's nothing to be concerned about.

Then what about love that turns into self-destructive obsessiveness?

Simple really. At some point, what previously felt good wouldn't feel good any more. That's when you know it's time to re-examine your thoughts about the subject.

Until then, enjoy it :)


answered 18 Dec '11, 23:52

Stingray's gravatar image



Great answer Stingray.

(19 Dec '11, 10:32) Paulina 1

Life is full of taboos which fill us with fears. To be in love (agape)is to find the perfection in the subject or person and to be in the flow with that person. Another type of love is "Philia" which means to like, approve of, and feel affection for, or fondness. This can be added to agape to up-lift your experience of human connection. If we could be in love (agape) with everyone the world would be a better place, for agape is not caused by the person you love, it is caused by you. It is the willingness to love regardless of who it is. Love your neighbour as yourself is about being in love with all mankind.

But romance, now that is erotic love, which is only one of the four kinds of love, it is reserved for procreation. Once you choose with whom to procreate, then all others must become untouchable to you. But you must still love them (agape) and/or maybe even like them as a person (philia), and/or as kin (storge). Dismiss your fears and enjoy being in love, it sounds wonderful. :-)


answered 19 Dec '11, 00:04

Parammama's gravatar image


we experience our opposite half
when we allow romance,
that is if consciously and willfully,
to see through their eyes


answered 19 Dec '11, 01:13

fred's gravatar image


or to walk 1 mile in their skin fred? experience and enjoy.

(19 Dec '11, 01:20) white tiger

well in the sense of romance it is different for every body. i have meet some people that add different answer on this. so what might be romantic for one might not be for another. if your alignement is correct i would not see why when you are in love it would change annything. experience and enjoy.


answered 18 Dec '11, 23:24

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

Love makes the world go around and when one is in love and is loved back there in no greater or more wonderful feeling on earth.

To be romanticaly in love is normaly an infatuation faze as a person becomes becomes infatuated with their ramantic subject and is obsessed to a point of not being able to see any faults with the other person. Normaly you think of nothing else and would change the subject to your feeling of love or the person you love at any given opportunity. This is especialy true for young love or first love. You daydream, and think about your love all the time.

Chemistry is the name of the game when it comes to romantic love and the reason for this wonderful and wacky chemistry is for the survival of the speacies but dont let science put you off just enjoy every moment for young love can be the best time of your life.

Enjoy Nik, stop analyzing and just enjoy the experiance of love. (And unless you want to contribute to expanding the population don't forget the all important protection.) You know what I mean.


answered 19 Dec '11, 10:50

Paulina%201's gravatar image

Paulina 1


appreciation <3

(19 Dec '11, 13:09) Nikulas

Well firstly wrong and right are merely terms we apply to any given situation so I'd say it's only wrong if you perceive it to be so or that's the meaning you decide to attach based on others' opinions.

We are all human beings ( even though spirit may be our essence) And I think as such we chose to experience the physical dimension fully which I think includes, undoubtedly, the experience of being "in love... so in my opinion I do not think it is wrong.

However, i do think we have to be careful of mistaking being in love with needing or becoming attached to another where we relinquish our own power or allow another to take control of our life experience :)


answered 19 Dec '11, 02:21

Michaela's gravatar image


I believe romantic love can be extremely healthy if handled properly, in a situation where the love is 'true', meaning unconditional and reciprocal. At a point where you reach that kind of connection with someone (not something that should be taken lightly) you are encouraged to take an oath before your loved one, yourself, and God himself, known as marriage.

Most people don't realize or care, but every time they are entering into a marriage they are not just making a promise to their spouse, but they are making a promise to God. A warning: God doesn't like being lied to.

So, finding someone you can share your life with is a good thing, just be careful and treat it with the utmost respect. There are few things in life that are more important to "God" than true love.

A quote and response to Stingray:

"What we love in others is really what we love in ourselves. We are just using the other person as an excuse to experience the love that already exists within us but which we are not yet allowing ourselves to experience directly."

This is a very unusual statement.. I'm actually very confused at it in fact. So you do not believe "Opposites Attract". I personally use a simple fundamental proofing method that describes the existence of that phrase, which in my perception is equivocal to barring the possibility of an all encompassing rule that precludes it. Magnets. The poles of a magnet reject and push away from the same polarities, and are attracted to their opposite.

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 19 Dec '11, 16:17

Snow's gravatar image


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Asked: 18 Dec '11, 12:31

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Last updated: 19 Dec '11, 16:17

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