I quote from King James:
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. Mk. 4.24
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
Why do people judge each other? Why? I told a story in another question about my Dad.
He sat in his recliner, day after day, and we all thought he was depressed or drugged or something. But he claimed that he was "tired" and felt "worn out". Yet we all talked about him, and judged him...until, the day came when his heart blew out. All that time, he was slowly bleeding from the heart. Everybody missed it. We were all too busy "judging" and "diagnosing".
His death wounded me greatly. The signs were there..and we all "assumed" and "assumed" and played doctor.
It was wrong; we could have perhaps saved him if we had only thought outside the box.
What do you think?
Jai on Mardi Gras, in Hospital 2010
asked 16 Feb '10, 12:59
Jai, I'm so sorry to hear this story. I trust that you are receiving comfort and care from loved ones around you?
To judge is to come to a conclusion about something or someone. We come to conclusions because we are thinking, logical beings. We are made in the image of God who Himself is an intelligent, rational, thinking, being. We should come to conclusions about things in our lives. We should interpret the world around us to the best of our ability. That's the key - the best of our ability, which may not always land us as being right. Still we must risk sometimes to function and make decisions in our lives.
We are limited. This is our problem. We are limited in our knowledge. We do not know all things. In this case, it sounds as if you are not a doctor and your family members were not doctors. Not having a medical background myself, I might not have even known what medical questions to ask unless I had been through a medical situation like that before. And if we did know what medical questions to ask we might not always have a medical solution.
We are not only limited in our knowledge, but we are limited by our own hearts. Even if we are given knowledge about something, we might come to the wrong conclusion about that information because we make assumptions or filter something through a thought that is colored by a personal desire, preference, experience, reaction, ect.
One of the best ways we can help ourselves avoid coming to conclusions prematurely is to gather information. In counseling, it is called data gathering. In the medical field it is probably something similar to going to a checkup to be examined. Once we have the most complete information possible, we can use general principles to narrow down a conclusion. We should avoid making absolute statements which cannot be substantiated. This might lead us to make an open conclusion such as, "it is possible that is person is depressed. he is showing signs that depressed people show. however, these signs could also be signs of something else."
One of the dangers here is to swing on a pendulum from not wanting to make incorrect conclusions to the decision not to make conclusions at all. As intelligent, rational beings we often must come to conclusions, even if tentative or open. Don't be discouraged from thinking. We are imperfect people seeking to do our best. Keep seeking and know that even in our mistakes God is in control and able to make good come out of any situation.
I hope this helps. And I truly am sorry about your loss. May you be strengthened and renewed to continue on stronger than ever for the Lord.
answered 18 Feb '10, 15:48
Do not feel sad upon his passing - perhaps he could have been saved, and perhaps his life may have been prolonged just a little bit more, but if he was loved and cared for then his life would not have been in vain - and even now, you have learned to stop 'judging' or 'assuming' so there will be no more regrets about what you should or shouldn't have done...he was tired and worn out and now he is at peace and rested, give thanks for his relief, rejoice in his life's achievements and the lessons that he taught you, including not judging anymore..send love and gratitude for the memories he has given you..
answered 16 Feb '10, 13:41
I think we judge others out of fear. Judging others lets us place our attention somewhere other than on ourselves. Usually when we are judging others it is a sign that we need to look within and find what is out of alignment and needs to be addressed within ourselves. It is much easier to look to another and point out what is wrong than to look within and find it in ourselves.
I don't think you necessarily were judging your father Jai. I think we all leave this earthly plane when we are ready and your Dad was ready - for your own sake let the guilt go - your dad would not want you to suffer or blame yourself in any way.
answered 16 Feb '10, 15:01
Jai my prayers are with you, and you did not do anything wrong, you did what you did with the best of intentions, and love for your Dad, and God will bless you for caring for your Dad.
But the what if question is a big one for all of us who has lost a loved one, and it is not an easy place to be; but with prayer, love and suppor from your family, God will strengthen you, to accept the things you cannot change, and the strength to carry on!
Also, remember God is plentyful in his mercy, so when you are sad, and do not know what to do, take it to the Lord in prayers, and he will comfort you.
Let us prayer together Jai: God we love you, we ask for your forgiveness, and for your healing grace to fall upon us in the name of Jesus, and to take away every pain in our bodies, and every sorrow in our lives through Christ our Lord, we thank you, and we praise you, and we worship you, Glory be to God. Amen!
answered 18 Feb '10, 18:27
Inactive User ♦♦
I heard this story a long time ago; I cannot take credit for it, but do not know who said it.
There were two women who were neighbors. The first woman was sweet and good-natured- she let the kids play on her lawn, and made cookies and such. The neighbor next door was a foul-tempered old biddy, and screamed at the kids if they dared step on her lawn, and never had a nice word to say. One day, someone was praying about the two women, and asked God why two women could be so different.
God said, "The nice woman I gave the sweetest nature I ever gave a human being- she is supposed to be a saint, but does not heed My call to her heart too much. The other woman I gave the nature of an ax-murderer. She prays daily to be kinder and tries very hard to not give in to her desires."
So it goes with judgment. One never knows what "equipment" God gives to any one person, and we cannot truly see into their hearts and know what they struggle with on a daily basis inside themselves. Thus, the Bible verses about judgment.
I have peace now about my Dad, and know now that he was given some very hard "character defects" to work with, and he did very well with what he was given. He died with Thirty Years of sobriety in AA! He was always good to me.
This is why I asked this question; I also asked it because I believe that there might be a bit of judgment going on in the this site, and I was hoping to demonstrate to everyone that you just do not know the whole story about anyone.
Blessings, Jaianniah, who is recuperating at home!!! Thank you all for your prayers!!! February 18, 2010
answered 18 Feb '10, 21:41
well jai you learned something very important! to not judge be aware experiance accept fact and truth but do not fill the blank and judge! because you could be missing fact and truth! this is a very important lesson to stop that vicious circle! lots of people judge each day and they don't see what it does! example: because i am silent people think i am stupid! because i am strongh they will not attack or face me but talk in my back to boost there ego!because i believe in god but not in religion people in religion will judge me saying that i am damned!and all those people could not be so far from the truth! why are they judging for there little ego to boost them self and reasure them self because they are scare because they are jealous etc.! now you know the truth that most do not see in life!
answered 29 Apr '11, 22:49
We judge others,becouse we judge ourselves.To see a person better,stop judgeing yourself,weather it be in a past or preasant sittuation,you see yourself in others.Something you have had trouble with or your working on.So look at yourself before looking at others who are still learning.
answered 03 May '11, 15:52
A mature Christian does not judge but prays for those in need. We guide not by pushing but by being the guide. Sometimes we need to just listen and have compassion. We need to lead them to Jesus by love, compassion and caring. Letting them know that no matter what sins that they are forgiven when they give them to Jesus. They relinquish ownership of the addiction, problem, worry, whatever the the sin may be; it is nothing to Jesus he took it even if they feel unworthy. They are loved and worthy just because they exist God loves them as they are. He does not hate them, he hates the sins because he sees the results of the sins to his children.
We do not kick someone when they are down, the last thing someone down needs to hear are these words "You are going to hell! You should be ashamed of your self! What's the matter with you? You need Jesus! You are a sinner! God is angry with you! You get what you deserve! You are no good!"
Jesus said "Matthew 5:22 ESV But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. "
What this means is anyone who thinks he is better and knows better and condemns another as worthless or no good is fooling himself as for his place in heaven.
"We" is a tricky word. "I" is also. Meaning when we talk of ourselves I believe we are always talking about both of us, the duality that lives in us all, the ego and the higher self.
The ego loves to judge to feed itself.
The higher self does not judge just observes objectively.
answered 03 May '11, 17:33
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