I realize now that I have low self-esteem and it permeates every aspect of my life. which is probably why even when I think I've cleaned up a limiting belief after a while either it pops up again or I find myself having developed another one which is just as destructive as the previous one - if not more. Looking back I can see how I have sabotaged myself in various areas of my life from social to financial so that the general graph of my life has gone from really high to really low. I know that unless I can find a way to raise my self esteem in general nothing else will work.
Does any one have ideas on how to raise self esteem when it is the overriding problem? By-the-way self affirmations have not worked for me so far because I really do not believe myself when I say them - that's how deep rooted this problem is. All ideas will be welcome.
PS: There is a similar question on self-esteem on IQ but it deals only with a certain aspect of it - the answer I'm looking for is more all encompassing. So IQ plz don't [close] this question.
asked 14 Aug '12, 17:06
I Think Therefore I Am
There has been planted a seed in your life. A seed of low self-esteem. Probably by someone you held in admiration and respected. And they too have had the seed planted It would be hard to find someone that the seed has not been planted in there life..When we are young our fields of our life are so open. We develop a variety of plants from the seeds .Some are nurtured and watered and cared for by choice or by habit..The older you get the more these plants can spread if not prune and till under the soil of you reality.and on the other side the more selective one can become to what seed and plants shall grow !
I had a period of quite low self-esteem a while ago, and my Law of Attraction coach gave me an exercise which might seem quite simple, but is in fact really powerful.
All it was, was to spend 5-10 minutes each day writing down things I liked about myself, no matter how small they were. In fact, this is a great exercise for any part of your life that you are unhappy with. Once you start looking for the positives, you will find more and more over time.
It was a little bit cringe-worthy at first, and I couldn't always think of things to write, but this simple little exercise actually helped me a lot over time.
answered 15 Aug '12, 12:13
here u are my dear friend. if u feel as if u have low self esteem, it is as easy as knowing u r worth loving. PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS,,, man.... i made it today and now,,.,,, BAM... i knew i had to do it for a reason,and i hope it finds u well.
i love u and u are worth loving. i promise this.
i have something i think u will need, IT IS GREAT,,, and it inst my work and it is free.
The power lies not in the realty but rather, the discussion itself.
I cannot change the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. - Jimmy Dean
How to win friends and influence people.
The ability to direct our mind. Faith is not something you earn, faith is something you already have. Most are using it in reverse gear.
There are only two kinds of emotions. One feels good and the other feels bad. (emotional scale) Emotions can be divided into three pillars:
DEFINE YOUR PURPOSE
Get a pocket sized notebook Page 1 - Major desire. My idea of success. Page 2 - Clear statement of what I am willing to give. Memorize both Statements. Repeat a dozen times day. End with gratitude.
Reprogramming your mind: “Oh divine providence, I ask not for more riches but for more wisdom with which to make wiser use of the riches you gave me at birth, consisting in the power to control my own mind, to whatever ends I desire.”
Birth also comes with two envelopes.
7 Days to transformation
QQMA - Quality of service + Quantity of service + Mental Attitude determines the space you occupy in your chosen calling and the compensation you get from your services. Some do it unconsciously.
Capacity for belief! Mental attitude where you remove all fears and doubts and direct it to where you know you can achieve it. Opens the first envelope. Must be cultivated and maintained.
. Is the only means by which we may transform sorrow to happiness. . Self Discipline is the only means by which we may shut out of our minds the deadly effects of past experiences of suffering and defeat. . Self Discipline can free us. . Self Discipline is the only means by which can live our own lives and have power over our own thoughts. 1. Gain mastery over your tongue. A loose tongue is a great liability. 2. Self discipline for striking back. What we do to others comes back in kind, greatly multiplied. Write it in the sands on the beach where it can be washed away by the tides. 3. Self discipline over all emotions, love, hate, fear and sex. (make you or break you) 4. Self discipline in relation to mental attitude. Drives away friends, destroys opportunity, brings on physical and mental illness, develops stomach ulcers and makes peace of mind impossible. 5. Self discipline over the emotion of Sex is the most powerful of all emotions. 6. Self discipline in relation to dieting and fasting. 7. Self discipline in relation to Religion and Politics. 8. Self discipline of taking possession of your mind and directing it to whatever ends, you desire. Taking the path of least resistance makes all rivers and some men, crooked. (In thoughts and actions)
A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE.
Like steam in a boiler, when enthusiasm is controlled and turned on, starts the wheels of machinery into action. It is how we may put into action our education, experience and knowledge.
To be successful, you will need to learn to act on your own initiative.
The men who stand out are those who chose their own occupation and moved on their own personal initiative to achieve their own personal interests. A winner never quits and a quitter never wins. Big success is made up of a great number of little circumstances, each so small and seemingly insignificant, most people pass them by as not worthy of notice.
16 Attributes of personal initiative
No one will tell you what to do and no one will tell you what not to do.
“There are two kinds of men who never amount to much, those who cannot do as they are told and those who can do nothing else.” - Kurtis
LEARNING FROM ADVERSITY
A Positive mental attitude is the only way to convert adversity into an asset. REMEMBER: Nothing can be called failure unit you accept it as such.
The workshop of the ??? of our brain and the ??? of our souls. 2 forms of imagination
Putting together ideas, facts in a different combination.
New ideas, never used previously.
RULES OF ACCURATE THINKING Put down on paper all facts in two columns. Important and unimportant. I don’t have enough facts on which to base my opinion. Most opions are of little value because they are based on
love and light
I think this may be down to an unbalanced core belief about yourself. Most core beliefs can best be summed up as "I am not good enough because ...." and are acquired in childhood as a means of getting by/fitting in.
I have come across a set of books about balancing your core beliefs - they look really good and as I am just starting out with them I can't get into too much detail about them at this stage. I feel self esteem comes from these core beliefs and if you can balance whatever core belief you are holding about yourself then your self esteem should automatically rise. Day to day I use focus wheels and find they are by far the best at changing your beliefs but often the deep seated core beliefs can be almost invisible to us as we have become so used to seeing the World through the lens of the core belief.
Anyway I offer the details to you - have a look at the website and see what you think. The books (pdf via email) cost in total US dollars 15 and the man who wrote them is friendly and helpful. I think he does Skype consultations (he is Australian) but he also does a DIY version (ask him for that at the start) for free if you purchase the set of books.
You are good enough - you just have to come to believe that yourself. And just as you acquire your negative beliefs (by thinking it so often that you accept it as truth) so you can choose to think something else.
The books are available from John Nutting at growingaware.com au - they are entitled something like "Balancing your negative core beliefs" - if you wanted to spend less you could email Mr Nutting and ask him which book he recommends. I intend to work my way through the whole lot. The website has a link in the top right hand corner with something like "core belief balancing".
I hope it helps.
(Just to be clear I am in no way connected with this man - I'm not trying to sell anyone anything here. I am just saying you may like to take a look at this.)
And I can confirm this. Whenever I feel high or low, I always go lift the iron. I no longer need to persuade myself why to do that. I already know that working out equals a better life. Period.
The more effort you give it and the heavier you lift in gym, the more happiness will life reward you with.
I have many friends who always start working out, elevate themselves from the bottom of desperation and start living happier life, but give up working out for materialism and parties, girls, simply other stuff around them. And down the hill they start to slide again, only to find themselves hit the rock bottom and start working out once again.
But the vicious circle never ends for most of them, because their concept of happiness is flawed, they are looking for it outside instead of within themselves.
And one more, very important in my opinion, point.
As you work out, keep your meals healthy and right, YOU GROW. Your body is your TOOL, your OPTION for experience, use it! As your body grows, gets bigger and stronger, your mind starts to see more ways to utilize it in. The options will expand drastically. And not only your body, but also your mind and your soul will rise from their smallness to their greatness.
answered 15 Aug '12, 04:14
I believe I may have posted this before, however, Louise L. Hay is the author of the book "You Can Heal Your Life" and an AWESOME book + cd: "I Can Do It" (http://www.hayhouse.com/details.php?id=856). They are subtle yet powerful resources in regards to heightening one's self-esteem.
She mentions this daily exercise:
Look in the mirror, directly into your eyes and say: "I love you, I really, really love you."
In the beginning, it is likely to be challenging and even uncomfortable. Stick with it. Do this everyday. Every single day. No matter how difficult. Over time, you will begin to feel more comfortable saying it, and likely come to believe it. As you begin to gain confidence in the ability to love yourself, it will create a belief that you do love yourself.
Low self-esteem = lack of self-love. The more ways you find to embrace, love and cherish yourself, the higher your self-esteem will become.
answered 11 Jan '13, 12:06
Start raising your standards: start expecting more for yourself and of yourself. If someone makes a comment about you say its unacceptable and refuse to continue to be in that persons presence. Pretty soon you will start to see mirroring from other people- that you are deserving of only the best and you refuse to accept anything less. Even if it means being a little lonely soon enough you will start to draw the type of people towards you that only respect you very highly and hold you in high regard. When you see people treat you this way (mirroring the way you treat yourself) You will start to believe that this is what is really happening.
If there is one thing to take away from this:
You show people how you want to be treated- by how you treat yourself.
Start treating yourself like you matter- do things that show yourself that you matter- maybe just start eating avocados and apples and fruits and veggies- no dairy or meat and see your energy rise and skin clear up maybe buy one new shirt or pair of pants tidy up a few things in your environment
slowly work your way up to sitting in the back of the car and the front of the plane so to speak treat yourself to the best- even if just a little bit at a time eventually you will start to expect more from others too- more respect, deep active listeners, interesting and generous giving people and you will slowly release those who aren't serving you and aren't appreciating your gifts out of your life
You might need to completely revamp your envrionment- so that you are only around people and events and situations that light you up or who appreciate your gifts and personhood. Its a big shift but once you make it everything else in your life uplevels- and people will respect you in a whole different light- and again you attract more about what you deserve and believe about yourself in your life
its not difficult its just a matter of constantly upleveling, continuing to feel great and give to yourself emotionally, nurturing your energy and body and soul and mind, expanding your expectations and revamping your beliefs- start treating yourself like you deserve only the best
BUTTTT you can start small- you can start today even drink an extra glass of water today get an extra hour of sleep be outside an hour longer give a card to a stranger wear a clean shirt, smile more in the mirror, even if at first it feels goofy, pretty soon you will smile in the mirror and be like "wow you are beautiful, seriously, shiiitttt"- not in an ego tistic way but in a true loving, confident way. ITs AWESOME when you get there. You can feel like a million bucks at anytime you choose to. Choose is the key word. Get in the habit of making that choice and releasing any thoughts that might be your old conditioning. Just say "thanks" or "switch" and then replace with "I deserve only the best" Or "I am a generous and loving soul" or something that is fitting in feeling to imprint into your brain. Hey even stomp around and slap your hands be like " I DESERVE ONLY THE BEST" or "I WILL ONLY ACCEPT TOTAL LOVE INTO MY LIFE AND NOTHING LESS" and stomp and shout and really get it in your bones. Don't feel silly about this- this is what will imprint it for you. You choose what to believe, and you choose to take action to really believe it sometimes going all out in your energy helps solidify it.
I used to have TERRIBLE self esteem, I literally walked with my back hunched over, I was battling eating disorders, sat in the corner of all my classes, I thought everyone hated me, and it manifested in my reality- I was disrepected by my peers and family, taunted, laughed at, people shouted cusswords at me randomly, it wasn't until I went off to college that I started establishing my own rules for my own life and ignored and released anything I didn't want to see.
I now am incredibly healthy, own my own business, have tons of respect in my community and am surrounded by loving, conscious, intelligent and supporting people. Its something I grew into but its possible for everyone. I don't take any shit from anyone ever, or else they aren't worth my time or energy- same with business, etc. I'm not agressive, but I just expect more from all my partnerships and relationships or its not a good fit. I'm desperate for nothing, and I have standards of living. I only associate with people who WANT to be around me and who see the light that I have to give and appreciate it. Because I am that for people I am around also.
Start holding this standard for yourself, and keep at it- develop the habit and you will feel deserving and loved and the awesome person who you truly are in no time. Just keep at it.
Even if you have to fill your mind with good literature on a daily basis- outwitting the devil by Napoleon Hill or Think and Grow rich by N. Hill both are great books that get me jived up about being amazing
another good book- all of the above are probably at your local library but its "28 laws of attraction"- not only feeling attractive but it encourages the universe to give to you what you desire- its a good book to get into the mindset of upleveling...
stay high vibrationally! hope this helps, you are awesome for even coming to this community and posting here- you are on the right path! Stay focused and true!
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