The relationship I have wanted to manifest, just plain isn't here. I know it is not best to be noticing that, but I feel that I have made so much progress in many other areas, this one thing is becoming conspicuously out of place in that I haven't succeeded yet.
And now, I am beginning to see that what I wanted in March of this year, when I asked the Universe for this, is a bit different from what I want now. My loving partner will really need to have some level of spiritual understanding and strength that I would not have been looking for then. Also, I have learned that I can ask to be with someone I can look up to, respect and admire - something I wouldn't have dreamed I'd be so fortunate to have in my life before. In the past, it has always been me to look for higher perspectives, to at least try for pure, loving thoughts and actions, make goodness, peace, kindness and harmony common goals.... It's hard to explain, but up to now, I have never been with anyone who loved me without me having to guide and take care of them, with none of that care and guidance coming back for me, when it was my turn to need a hand. So when I wrote what I wanted in a relationship, I would not have dreamed I could have such a beautiful thing for myself. I want that now. I have made huge leaps in my own spiritual progress and thinking recently, and I feel like a very different Grace now. So should I start again?
The fact that I am on my own is telling me I must have lost my way somehow. I know it is time that I stop living my life without love. If you have known me through my posts on this site, you know more of me than anyone on earth; no one else knows any of this about me. So I'm coming to you with this.
So far, I have manifested male attention, a few dates, casual friends. People have said some nice things. I have been interested in one or two men, but they do not appear to have any interest in me. The men who have pursued me, have not been the kind of people I can get close to... Ok, I will go ahead and say it plainly. They have wanted me for sex, and when they find that I won't, I really can't, share myself in that way without being loved, or at least feeling some sort of shared connection, they are gone. To be honest, I am so disappointed in what I have manifested for myself. I thought I would meet someone I could really talk to. Someone I could trust and respect, share a friendship and a bond with. Fall in love with. This is not what I have done. Not even close.
I need to know if I should open up the Manifestation Box, burn the letter, start again? And I need to know where have I gone wrong up to now? This is a very difficult question to ask, for many reasons. If you have been paying attention, you know me better than anyone. I am bracing myself for hard truths, so please tell me. I would rather be stung by the truth than go on living like this. I don't know how much longer I can take it. Please tell me why I am still alone.
asked 04 Nov '12, 00:03
Okay, you asked for it so I will give it to you straight up. I hope you are prepared for this.
You are a being of pure love and pure light. You are very powerful for incarnating on this earth at this time. It is the toughest game going in the universe in this now moment and it has never been done in this way before. It takes a rare individual being or entity to have the strength and courage to come to this most dense and physical 3D experience.
You are an absolute Master Creator and you can't get anything wrong and you will never get anything done. You are sifting and sorting through experiences and becoming a more powerful and knowledgeable being of infinite existence.
I hope that little intro wasn't too harsh. Actually I wanted to help loosen the sting that you are feeling right now a bit. Everything I said above is exactly how I see you, which at least for me, means you can't really do anything wrong. So just be easy and let yourself off the hook a little bit. Everything that needs to happen in your experience is happening for a reason large or small.
As for the relationship aspect, I truly believe that there is one thing that needs to come to the surface first and foremost. You need to find out what your relationship is to yourself. Are you really and truly okay with just being with yourself and is it okay to just be alone.
Now I'm not saying that you just have to be alone or think you are alright without anyone. I'm saying that at the core, you need to find out if you truly can love yourself unconditionally first. There could be a subconscious belief in there somewhere that is saying you are not worthy of a certain kind of love or you are better off being alone.
Bashar talks about an easy to use technique that I find myself using more and more all the time. It helps to bring some subconscious beliefs to the surface.
You could use this question for many different things but just do it in an easy and fun manner. Try not to force an answer and be okay if you don't get one right away. The answer may come in a totally unexpected fashion.
You may have expected me to pick this out of your question;) This is similar to what we talked about in the comments about the signpost. If you can somehow learn to appreciate what you have manifested and understand that it is reflecting where you are vibrationally back to you, then you can put more focus on getting your frequency in the desired range that you prefer.
Focusing on what you have done wrong is keeping you in the vibration that you don't prefer.
Try telling yourself something that has a little lighter feel to it.
"Even though I'm not seeing my companion at this moment, I know that they are on the way. They will come at the right time and in the right circumstance. I am allowing myself to see the reflection of my manifestations and am using them as a guiding light in a dark forest. I know everything will work out just fine for me. The perfect match for me exists right now and our frequencies will connect at the perfect place and the perfect moment. I love myself and I love knowing that everything will work out just the way it is meant to."
My suggestion would be to not use the manifesting box method if it is something you can not easily forget about. To me it sounds like this is something that may be too in your face on a regular basis to be able to forget. Every time you notice you are alone and don't have the person you desire, the universe halts in its tracks because of your vibrational outpouring of what isn't there.
I am definitely not an expert on romantic love and am not trying to be. I do know though that if we have a subconscious belief (that we may not realize exists) that we deserve to be alone, or we are unlovable, or we just can't find love, it will manifest in our reality. Getting to the core of those opposing vibrations could bring things up to the surface.
Put emphasis on loving yourself first. We are never really alone anyway. We just sometimes perceive it that way in our human-ness.
Change your Self Talk about your current situation. Focus on what's going right instead of what isn't. Be clear on what kind of person you want and have a pure knowing-ness that that person does exist in this very moment.
There was a point a few years back in my life where I didn't have the desire to live anymore. I was very habitual with negative mental and verbal self talk. Once I changed those negative thoughts into positive habitual self talk, my whole world changed around. So I have confidence in the power of talking to yourself in a positive way. Choose the wording that you prefer and make it a new habit of what you desire. It really can change your life.
Know what you want, know that it exists, talk like it exists, and more importantly be easy on yourself and feel good just for the heck of it. Allow your good feeling vibes to connect with your ideal partners good feeling vibes. That person is out there right now searching just like you are. They just need to find out which radio station you are tuned into.
I know you are a worthy and loving being. You are deserve to share that powerful love with another. I have faith that you will find that person when the time is right. Everything happens for a (vibrational) reason.
I am going to provide some insights into your situation first and then attempt to answer your question.
The Manifesting Box experiment does not strike me as being the correct method to use in your situation because from your question above, this issue is something that is pretty much always in your face. And I quote from the Manifesting Box experiment, 'When NOT to use this method':
And it seems to me that in your case, the points (1) and (4) apply especially the latter.
As long as you are experiencing the feeling of lack about this particularly relationship in your life, it cannot manifest in your physical reality, even though this perfect relationship already exists in your non-physical reality.
Remember, it is not only about what you write or speak about that determines your manifestations. It is primarily your day to day thoughts or in other words your dominant vibration.
What I am trying to say is you could write what you want and stick it in the Manifesting Box but unless you are vibrationally aligned with that desire (in the case of the Manifesting Box, you have to completely forget about the desire), it cannot manifest in your physical reality.
The key is always to accept yourself and your present reality as a starting point. This is very similar to what some people call 'letting go' or 'surrender'. Just be happy with what you currently have and when you start to do that, things that you desire will come to you without any effort. The methods that work well are consistent Positive Aspects and Rampages of Appreciation.
In your case though, because you have strong emotions of lack about this subject, you really need start by tackling this issue head on and get neutral with regards to that subject. I have found that EFT and Focus Blocks are the best at neutralising emotions.
It also does not matter whether what you want in a partner has changed or not. You have already made the universe aware of this fact or desire through just thinking about it.
Lastly, it seems to me that you have made significant spiritual progress in the last few months ,more specifically, still discovering who you really are and what you really want. So, from that perspective, it might be a good thing that you have not yet met your life partner. But now that you seem to be much more certain about what you want in a partner, this seems to me to be a better time for such a thing to happen. In fact, I have just found a post of Satori quoting Bashar that sums this up nicely:
Im wondering is this an out of the Vortex question? As Abraham say every subject is really two subjects, something that you desire, and the absence of something that you desire. These are two very different vibrational frequencies. When your out of the Vortex you tend to look at what you desire from the absence of it.
I know this is a bit cliche on IQ but the key is to get yourself into the Vortex daily because,
In the Vortex your becoming a vibrational match to your desires. What you want feels closer to you because your in the same vibrational vicinity. Your back in that place of Knowing. That place is the Now. Keep yourself in the Now moment. Remember your point of power lies in the Now . Your vibrational offering is Now . What you desire exists Now. Your life is Now. It is all happening right here in the Now.
When the Vortex spits you out. Great, no problem. There is value in this to. Life is telling you exactly what limiting belief your holding that's getting in the way of your desire. Mold these limiting beliefs, feel some relief and get yourself back in the Vortex. Don't analyse too much from out of the Vortex. This is where we go wrong sometimes. We percieve and judge our life up to now from out of the Vortex when all we should be doing is getting ourselves back into the Vortex. This process gets easier as im sure you know. When you start spending most of your time in the Vortex then what you want absolutely must come to you. :)
Grace, here is an excellent excerpt from Abraham on the subject. I didn't have time to type it but here is the link.
I believe that this may be the solution to your issue:
I just did it for the first time yesterday myself. I think I had been defaulting to the Box method and focus blocks because they seemed "easier", and well, Manifesting Experiment 4 just looked so darn long, complicated, and time consuming.
It's worth the effort.
Ironically, the only reason that I finally did it was for somebody else, someone close to me. I felt that it was what "they needed", so I decided to take the time to show them how to do it...by using myself as an example. And so I thought about, and found, an issue that had been bothering me off and on. Examining it with the experiment brought made me realize that it was tied together with some deeper issues and emotions that needed to get resolved as part of the process.
In short, it took me about 1.5 hours. A much bigger time commitment than putting a note in a box or filling in a focus blocks worksheet...
Within the first twenty minutes of having completed the experiment, I began "noticing things." Can't talk about it too much, but there was a definite positive change.
Within four hours, I had three very obvious "negative" manifestations that clearly seemed to be my old vibration trying to drag me back, just like what happened to me with a different issue a few months ago. Before, this might have bewildered me. But now I took it as a very sure sign that my vibrational state had indeed shifted, and laughed them off.
(By the way, could these "non-ideal" men you went on dates with be similar "clattering" experiences...your old vibration/belief fighting for its own survival? If so, just rest in your own confidence and stay the course with your new vibrational state).
In short, I can't recommend it enough. Well worth the time. Give it a shot. I feel very confident that you'll see some changes in your situation in a very short amount of time.
answered 05 Nov '12, 14:39
This may or may not help, but here goes!
I was in a similar situation such as you, but I had never heard of a manifesting box. The most I had ever done was write some things down on paper and then burn it with a ritual (c/o @Skuldr, who helped me through those trying times!)
I was also really wanting someone for myself. People would come and go very easily, and never stay long. I look back now and see it as learning experiences and teachers in disguise.
I found my soul mate after I stopped looking and in the most unlikely place - hotornot dot com. Kinda embarrassing now, but back then I was only 20.
So I joined the site for the usual reasons, ego boosting and silliness. Browsing around I saw some guy with a collage of pictures of him doing things, and one of them was of him mixing. At the time I was very into DJs, music, dancing and the rave scene.
I sent him one of the automated messages that you could send where you couldn't control what it said and you couldn't give out your personal info etc. I wasn't looking for anyone to date because I was going through a lot of bad stuff with someone already. He just looked interesting to talk to. I think, also, part of the reason why I sent him a message is because he paid for access of sending messages and that made things easier.
I remember how it all went. We started talking on AIM. I wasn't that interested in what he was saying because he would type a million fragmented sentences in a minute and then leave for like 10. A couple of times I would tell him I didn't want to talk because I was so sad.
We started talking about a week before Valentines Day. Valentines Day I think I told him I loved him and he said he felt the same. A month later he flew from California and asked me to marry him in my parents kitchen. We got married one week later in front of a Cheddar's Restaurant at night with cars honking with a mechanic ordained minister. We used plastic bracelets with beads to exchange our vows (though he did have a gold band with diamonds in it for me when he asked me to marry him).
Next April 10th is our 10th wedding anniversary.
Just ask @skuldr how much I wanted a relationship. I think I bugged the crap out of her for readings and everything before. That's pretty much how I met her too, she was giving readings in an AOL room.
I know it sounds really cliché, but when I wasn't looking was when we found each other. I suppose this is sort of like giving it over to the universe thing, though at the time I didn't think of it that way.
answered 06 Nov '12, 02:00
Like I used to, you seem to attract fixer-uppers that gobble up your capacity for nurturing, but are unable to give the same in return. "I have never been with anyone who loved me without me having to guide and take care of them, with none of that care and guidance coming back for me"
I'm glad to hear you want something different now. That's a sign of growth. Now, you're running into a new blocking belief that you need to clear. If you're attracting men who only want sex and that's not what you want to give until you are in love, then GOOD FOR YOU for letting them go. Yes, it hurts, but it shows that you are committed to manifesting what you want.
Throw out the list. Focus on what you want to give and celebrate who you are. Affirm that you will meet a man who will love and appreciate you as much as you love and appreciate yourself. Then get to work on doing just that for yourself. All relationships are mirrors.
I got ride of my fixer-upper and have been happily attending to my own needs that I was in denial about. I'm glad that he mirrored that back to me, so I could do something about it!
answered 19 Jul '14, 21:07
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