For various reasons and with great sadness, I separated from my husband of 29 yrs. We have lived apart for approximatley 8 years now. He has apologised for his behaviour and has long been forgiven. He is intrinsically a good man. However, much damage was done to the love in our relationship, but we have achieved a peaceful friendliness.

He would gladly have me return as a 'companion,' this would be going back to a 'comfortable' but loveless marriage. He acknowledges his selfishness and admits that he is unwilling to compromise and suggests that I am far better off with a man more suited to my personality, one who shares my spiritual beliefs. There is such a man whom I have known for 2 yrs. He is well loved and approved of by my husband and grown sons. My very Catholic sister is naturally totally against this relationship.

My question is:

My Catholic upbringing forbids divorce and re-marriage...Till death do us part, etc. How do I reconcile the desire I have to do right in God's eyes with the offer of a future with a beautiful, caring, loving man? I sought to attract the love, it arrived via a new man, not my husband. I know that I can't please everyone in this situation.

asked 18 Aug '10, 17:46

Rosie%201's gravatar image

Rosie 1

edited 18 Aug '10, 18:46

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

Have you got children or nephews and neices Rosie? Ask yourself this question. If i were God would i want my kids to be in an unhappy relatioship? the answer surely must be no. Then ask yourself if you would want your kids to never be able to re marry,even if they met the partner of their dreams. Again the answer would be no. Rosie .if you want these things for other people HOW MUCH MORE does God want these things for his children.If you being less than perfect would waive any religious prejudice for the greater good dont you think God would too ? Gods not a Catholic you know,neither is he a Baptist or indeed affiliated to any other religion.Hes dedicated to expressing his love and generousity towards you quite seperately from any denomination.Hes way beyond that! Enjoy your new marriage. Graham


answered 02 Sep '10, 08:15

Monty%20Riviera's gravatar image

Monty Riviera

Beloved, couldn't have said it any better, thanks, namste

(05 Sep '10, 00:59) daniele

The Catholic church is usually willing to annul marriages where gross immaturity existed. Why not talk to a Priest and get some advice? If you had a church sanctioned annulment in place, there would be no reason to feel guilty about a re-marriage, or even about dating someone more suitable for you and who would make you happy and share a more mature, unselfish relationship with you. It's great that your faith is important to you and good luck!


answered 18 Aug '10, 18:06

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

When the "Till death do us part" starts to become cancer in a relationship, it is no longer a Godly relationship.

Personally, I don't think God wants that for any of His children.

However, looking at this from a church-political view, I am sure they would be willing to annull the marriage or "bless" you to move on. Definetly start some research of Catholic divorces.

See here:


answered 18 Aug '10, 18:46

Back2Basics's gravatar image


  1. When the time comes to decide take only the decision that you are most comfortable with. Either you authentically alter your beliefs to support your choice or choose according to beliefs. Holding inner conflict will produce it's corresponding outer state. As you sow (: within :), you will reap (: without :). So take a decision that you are mostly comfortable with.

  2. "Till death do us part" is a social creation. Nothing wrong or right with it but you need to decide if that's what you'd like (: or not :) and live accordingly.

  3. The Bible is not the infallible or complete word of "god". There are many ideas in the Bible that most of us have discarded with the times, and others that we have created and somehow made relevant in a Biblical context. The Bible is a mixed bag of mystical principles (: some of which are 100% accurate :), allegories of mystical principles, anachronisms like ancient social codes, personal preferences paraded as "divine revelations" like a lot of Paul's ideas and some (: not too many :) of those teachings ascribed to Jesus, also there is always translation, completeness of source literature etc. However, I must say if you're into Christian Mysticism and New Thought (: read Neville Goddard, Ernest Holmes, James Allen etc. ) there's some, but not all and it isn't the only source, pure gold in there.

  4. Remember, the church affiliates itself with "god", Mother Mary etc. "God", Mother Mary etc. themselves are accessible to all and affiliate themselves with all which is in line with the Infinite scheme of things where there is Oneness. I connect with Mother Mary easily so I can tell you she's liberal and supportive of all. Funny thing is the word "Catholic" actually means "Universal".

Ultimately, it really is a decision you must take for yourself with full creative responsibility. I can only suggest a taking a decision that you are mostly comfortable with.


answered 22 Jul '14, 07:56

harsha's gravatar image


edited 22 Jul '14, 07:58

@harsha, I've cancelled the Community Wiki setting on both your recent answers. Setting your answers to Community Wiki means you will not receive any karma points for them and having few karma points means that the Inward Quest system will not allow you full access to the features of the site. Generally, people only set their answers to Community Wiki if they are quoting large chunks of text from elsewhere that they did not write and they do not wish to take credit for the quotations.

(22 Jul '14, 08:33) IQ Moderator ♦♦

Oh okay. I thought putting it on Wiki made it accessible to more people. Great! Thanks!

(22 Jul '14, 09:55) harsha

What kind of God would want you to live in a loveless marriage. I grew up Catholic and we sang a song called, "God is Love." I think if you are connected to love, you are connected to God. If you're good with that, then don't be confused by what the dogma (or your sister) says. Dogma was man made. Love is a gift from God.


answered 19 Jul '14, 19:59

EliteSoulMateCoaching's gravatar image


perhaps it is ones fear of what is as intended and the difficulty of a possibly believing that we have a birth right giving us reason

(21 Jul '14, 19:25) fred

They made religion according to their understanding. let me ask you this is their understanding perfect? with the number of religion and man made rule in this world each according to their own understanding how is in truth? if your man is dead or divorced from you then what stop you from taking another one? you are not living together any more then where is the problem? till death do us apart? you are not living together any more is he dead? are you dead? then why not live and be the light that you can be? will you stop your self or your ex husband from living? if you know how to love your self then you can love your neighbor as your self. if you do not even know how to love your self how can you respect the first and second greatest commandment properly? you have free will you are made in the image of God. the flesh is flesh but the spirit is spirit. Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again." Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Do you really think that your father in heaven do not know that you make error and mistake in this world and that no one is perfect? you see the choice is yours learn from your error and perfect your self the choice is yours.

He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.

the truth shall set you free.

listen to this:

did she not have 5 husband? did not jesus speak with her? did he judge her? or did he give her water?

God is spirit. in spirit and truth shall you worship him.

Did I not give you living water also today so that it can become a spring of living water in you.

If I have been your helper so be it and let it be.

Let there be light, be the light that you can be experience and enjoy.


answered 21 Jul '14, 21:50

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 21 Jul '14, 22:05

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Asked: 18 Aug '10, 17:46

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Last updated: 22 Jul '14, 09:55

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