I can't quantify or describe it and need some help.
I have seen in my life that surrendering was helpful but in other situations fighting and pushing on was helpful. (For example, if you want a college degree you can not surrender, you have to push on to earn it......)
How do we know when to surrender and when not too?
How do we surrender (when needed) and still continue on "solidly" without feeling as we have given up at something?
How do you not cross the line of giving up when surrendering?
Examples or advice?
The key point in your question is "when needed". In other words like the example in the thread; the alcoholic must surrender to win. When you see you can not win by continuing to drink and can't stop you have to surrender and ask for help. Many alcoholics have great will power in every other way except drink. They are powerless over alcohol and can never drink like normal people. A program of abstinence and service to others trying to get sober is now their new life. Usually involves the help of a higher power and help by a support group. So how did they win. They now have a constructive rather destructive life. A fellowship of like minded and happy people springs up about them. In this case they have surrendered but they are now on solid ground, more so than ever in their lives. Sober alcoholics go on to college and fight to keep their grades up; they just aren't fighting the drink problem as well. Sometimes surrender is "needed". That doesn't mean they tossed in the whole towel just the part they can't win. This is not easy to explain to people that haven't face hell. If your not an alcoholic you might never grasp the idea. My sobriety date is 7-15-76 meaning I haven't had a drink in almost 35 years. Through surrender I found a whole new life and won. Through surrender the obsession was lifted and for me has never returned.
answered 04 Dec '10, 06:43
When we know that we have put forth our best effort but still aren't happy with the results then I think it's time to hand it over or surrender to a power bigger than our mere mortal mind.
Surrendering is really having Faith - letting go and trusting that God, Source, the Universe etc. will take care of what is needed. Trust and Faith give us the courage needed to surrender and continue on "solidly", knowing that All is well. We are not giving up but merely accepting that sometimes we need Divine help.
answered 04 Dec '10, 22:11
I think that when we (those of us here) speak of surrender, with regards to consciousness, we are speaking of a point of reference in consciousness where we accept the desired outcome to be so sure, or so guaranteed that we surrender the need to even consider the possibility of failure.
Our desired success is so sure that the mind has surrendered even worrying about it.
A good example is getting home from work every day.
Imagine that one day, on your way home, you encounter an accident on your route and you are delayed by an hour. Now during that delay DO you worry if you may or may not get home that day?
How about if you got delayed, lost your wallet, ended up in the wrong end of town, etc.?
Now how much failure at getting home must you encounter before you decide "I'm never going to get home" So I'm going to forget the whole thing and wander the streets instead of going home?
You would say "Well that's silly; of course I'm going to overcome all obstacles thrown at me because if I don't get home where would I GO?
There is no resistance within you towards the Idea of "getting home"
You can say that you have surrendered to the idea that you will get home every day.
This effortless resistance within you with regards to "getting home" is the feeling that is being spoken of when we speak of "surrender" in these matters.
When you surrender it DOES NOT mean that you now no longer have to put forth physical effort because the "surrendering" has passed on the torch to the non-physical side!
That's not what you're surrendering.
You are surrendering all doubt and resistance in your mind towards your desired goal.
The hard work that you have to put forth in getting there is irrelevant and not conditional to the success of your goal.
If it were conditional, then that would be like saying "because I have to put so much effort towards my goal of reaching my home today I'm starting to doubt if I will ever reach home.
You never experience that doubt within you because you have "surrendered" to the outcome of getting home every day.
That is the context within which we must comprehend surrender, if we are using the idea of "surrender" in trying to achieve our desires.
answered 17 Mar '12, 00:22
Please first deeply investigate if there is a separate 'you'. The question of 'how do we know when to surrender?' implies certainty in a 'you' separate from life - a 'you' that could surrender to something or not surrender. Please honestly look for this 'you' that is assumed to exist, and once you find it (or not) then the surrendering will happen when it should.
answered 04 Dec '10, 12:35
I give up! I'm giving in!
I give UP! I give IN!
I GIVE up! I GIVE in!
Give already! ;)
answered 05 Dec '10, 08:57
if the situation is bigger than your ability to guide it, surrender and let it guide you.
answered 04 Dec '10, 20:23
It depends on your what is definition of 'surrending' , for some people, surrendering is just the same as giving up. In your context, it seems as though surrending is the same as quitting!
answered 04 Dec '10, 14:40
You can try re-framing it in your mind, such as this, for an example, "Well, this wasn't an easy decision to make, but after weighing everything, it is the one I will stick with. Next time I may make a different one. It's the best for all concerned right now. I stay in control by making my own decisions."
answered 04 Dec '10, 15:52
you have to think in your mind
be it sacrafice
answered 15 Mar '12, 21:09
Sometimes when you work on something so hard and feel like you are getting no where, you need to take a step back briefly. You dont have to give up...yet at least.. Start focusing on something else, something important to you. It doesn't necessarily have to be something serious, it could be a a fun hobby. But sometimes we need to step back and when we feel ready we can continue back to the original thing that was making us pull our hair out. It really does work!.. Sometimes whether its time that fixes it, or stepping back makes us see a different side of things to continue getting results (clarification), OR it will help us figure out to go a different route to go totally. You dont have to feel like your giving up, especially if its something thats not right for you to do at this time. If its not right, its not right. You didn't give up by any means. =) Hope this helps, and hope you get clarification soon!
answered 04 Nov '12, 12:51
Though this question has already been answered, it resonated with me so here I are.
"This isn't giving up this is letting go."
My favorite band. And from the same song, some advice to help with the process. "Regardless of the beat I'd move my feet."
answered 27 Mar '13, 21:05
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