If everything has a purpose and holds a lesson for us to learn from, then also, my personal way of self-sabotaging must have it.
Simply put, I recognize the fact that I'm self-sabotaging my efforts in all possible areas of my being. Be it mentally, spiritually, physically or even emotionally. I also realize that the self-sabotage act roots to my belief of definition of SOMETHING within me.
I have attempted many times to this very moment, to find that SOMETHING with intention of re-defining it, yet whenever I try to find the root cause it feels like a foggy morning and you can't see half a meter in-front of yourself and are trying to find that SOMETHING which is causing the fog.
For example, yesterday I wanted to do Bashar's guided meditation, he asked to imagine a pleasant place where I feel good, so I did that. It was a nice french-little-town scenery the one you might see in movies. And the very next thing that comes to my mind, I'm crossing a road and a car hits me. So I changed the scenery, I was sitting on a grassy hill this time, overseeing valley in front of me. And suddenly a train (which originally was going through the valley) runs over me, over the hill. If my mind cannot come up with a way of destroying my "happiness" that is seemingly logical, it will just create a ridiculous stuff. But the destruction always takes a place. Or from physical world at this very moment I'm already 2 hours hungry, the food is literally placed one meter away from me on my desk, yet I do not eat it. Seemingly absolutely illogical behavior.
I was thinking that it might be because I'm scared of change, as if subconsciously I would want to remain in the hole I'm in and not expand, because I might actually believe that experiencing more and becoming more could make life WORSE for me. Even though consciously I try my best, it sometimes is only best WITHIN limitations that I seem to impose on myself subconsciously.
Just like a clash of titans, consciousness against subconsciousness. The part I find extremely tricky is that the conscious mind tries its best within limited patterns that subconscious mind creates. As Bashar said in one of his videos, there might be a belief that PREVENTS me from finding a true core belief which actually is the cause of my behavior.
Therefore I would like to ask you guys to help me out to figure this out, because I no longer desire this old scripture of mine to be part of me, but my own mind with the understanding of things as it has right now, seem to be ineffective tool to review itself.
I know that "my best" version of me knows and realizes that it could be spectacular in any way imaginable. From looks, to attitude, to work ethics, to relationship with people. I can almost feel it. But it figuratively feels like trying to run on a quick sand.
Ask me questions or suggest ones I should ask myself, I will do my best to be honest in answers.
P.S.: A favor if I may ask, I would also like if users Stingray and Eddie, could take part in this, as I find the way they explain things hitting my "cords" clear and hard.
When you are self-sabotaging, watch your mind at work.
Do not analyze it or make sense of it.
When it creates a thought, idea that is breaking your focus, acknowledge it and wait for the next one.
Let it do its thing and wait for the next one.
You will find that the mind loses its ability to keep it up when you relax and let it do its thing (sabotage) while you do not resist it in any way.
With enough observation of your own mind, you will figure out that your own underlying anticipation drives the mind to do it in the first place.
Take away the anticipation and the mind has nothing to act upon.
You cannot take away the anticipation using effort or concentration.
You cannot "DO" something to stop the anticipation of self-sabotage.
You can only stop it with relaxation.
Operating within yourself is almost opposite to how you operate on the physical side.
In the physical, you have to put effort towards getting the results you want.
In the mind, if you are working with thought (forceful thought) then you must still put effort into it because you are working with the data that is produced from what is reflected outwards from within and then that same outward reflection being reflected back into you attached with dialog and meaning.
In thinking, you are working with the third reflection of interior data.
The first being interior data, the second being the reflection of that (reality) and the third being the ideas based on the 2nd reflection.
Now you are trying to use 3rd reflection logic to control 1st reflection information.
To get to this 1st reflection you have to relinquish effort of consciousness.
The moment you "Try”, you are in the 3rd reflection.
You have to let your mind unload all of its 3rd reflection efforts to distract you and not engage it with analysis.
Just relax until you let go of your anticipation that the mind is going to sabotage your effort.
If you are quiet, enough for long enough you will settle down to the level that is free from attaching some meaning to every movement of your mind.
In this place, you cannot make the mind "DO" anything.
You can only "allow" it.
You cannot set goals of your anticipated spiritual awakening.
Your very anticipation of it will prevent it from happening.
You can only allow it by letting go of all your inner expectations of growth.
answered 27 Mar '12, 22:37
Let me preface my "answer" with a basic truth for me. I am NOT answering your question! Not at all. I am answering MY question, the question that arises within me when I read your question. In the venue of we teach best what we most need to learn. And, that "learning" is remembering what we already know. Maybe teaching others is reminding them that they already have their own answers and just need to remember them.
So, in answering your question, I am really answering my own question. Maybe that is what all of us are doing here! I think it is. Does that mean I don't care about your worries? Your suffering? Of course I do. But I want to care about you like Source cares about you. To do that, I need to clear myself as I am proceeding.
It is an unquestionable fact that I am here to have fun and learn.
So I am taking to mySelf, tag along for the ride if you like! I had written a lot of the following before mediation, and am now coming back to this after having checked in with OUR Source. I am realizing that I needed to change a lot of the personal pronouns following from "your" to "my". So here goes. I also am changing from "will" to "as" keeping it in the now.
CanLon, thank you so much for asking this question!
My subconscious is called such because it runs processes of which my conscious mind is unaware. Emotions, memory, beliefs, behavior patterns, as well as the day-by-day processes of maintaining and repairing my body. Many, nay, most of these processes are hidden from the conscious mind. I can spend my time searching for "why" answers and effectuate little or no change.
Meditations help. Affirmations or 'afformations' help, but only if they change my State of mind. If they evoke a strong positive feeling.
As I focus my attention on positive things, I allow them into my consciousness. *Also As I focus on negative things, I allow them into my consciouness.*
Am I getting through to you -- excuse me -- am I gettting through to me here?
In my metaphor, I consider a part of me that feels it is somehow helping me by automatically focusing my conscious mind in such a way that I feel self-sabotaged. Why it is doing this is irrelevant. It has limited options to fulfill its purpose. It resists my conscious mind's efforts to remove its options.
However as I allow it to have new options, it picks more useful ways of making me happier, automatically. Give it permission to find and implement new options and I am pleasantly surprised by new behavior patterns.
This is the most powerful behavioral change method in my arsenal. I often do not recognize the dramatic positive behavioral changes, as I feel I have been doing them for a while, already, but I notice in a dream-like surreal way that I used to be different in dis-useful ways. I will look back and say, "Hmm, I used to act this way, now I am acting differently, more happily." I don't need to recognize the change as it takes place in the subconscious.
I used to have automatic road rage, I invoked my inner resources and now I don't have road rage. I may feel twinges as I still have that option, but I don't react in dis-useful ways. And, a LOT of other somehow related behaviors also dramatically are totally different, improved in ways that make me much happier. It is a very simple process. Does not feel dramatic when I do it, but the changes, in retrospect are powerfully positive.
Here is what I do
Works for me, just went through it again, just now.
answered 26 Mar '12, 09:45
Hello CalonLan, thanks for the request, I really appreciate it :)
I’m not big on the idea of self-sabotage, as it seems to be a negative way of looking at things. So, if I were in your shoes, the first thing I’d do is to redefine self-sabotage into something positive. Consider the idea outlined below:
As we become more aware and thus have greater clarity, we naturally want and ask for even more awareness and clarity because it feels good to us, right? Now, because the awareness and clarity desired exists at and as a higher frequency vibrational state, and in order for us to reach that state; anything within our current state of being that doesn’t fit (or belong) with the higher vibrational state must be reconciled, ok?
So even though, from our current perspective, we may have and probably will have certain challenges to work through and clarify in order to reach that higher state; the fact that we asked for more awareness and clarity, and that the challenges are now apparent is positive.
I’m assuming that exploring the nature of reality excites you and feels good to you. And that the more you realize, understand, remember and know, the better you feel, eh? If so, at this timing, maybe your challenge or your work is to have 100% trust that the reflections you’re seeing, inside and outside (relatively speaking), of your mind, all of them, are in your best interest.
Because if exploring these ideas truly excites you and is how you prefer spending your time, then you know that the exploring is representative of who you are. And therefore, by definition, you know that you do have the capacity to work through your challenges, because if you didn’t then you would not have brought them into your experience at this timing.
Regarding the negative thoughts that arise within your mind, for the time being; can you simply ignore them rather than defining them as this or that? The less attention you give them, the less emotional charge you place upon them and consequently, the less power they will have over your state.
If you’re more relaxed about those thoughts, then eventually, you might effortlessly notice that they are tied to a belief. And at that time, because you know that you have chosen to define and believe something in that way, then you know that you can also choose to redefine that something in a way that better serves you.
It seems to me that to be scared of change is to be scared of life and of living. However, that’s not the kind of person who I perceive you to be from our limited interaction. Nevertheless, as you have said it, again, maybe it’s something that you should look into and examine more closely.
The only thing that can be scared of change is the personality structure of the physical mind. And not only is that structure an artificial construct, but, by its very nature, it is always changing. As we move through life or as life moves through us, within every second of that, change is the reality of it. So through that understanding, we can see that change is the nature of life and of living.
Once your personality construct really understands that, it knows that: while its sense of self will always remain, at the same time its awareness and knowledge is always expanding, so it can never remain the same as it was, because change is a part of the nature of reality. And then, by integrating that understanding, any fear of change naturally begins to drop away.
You are right. The highest version of you realizes and knows that your future is spectacular beyond even your highest imaginings. And really, all you have to do is to get out of your own way and allow this imagined future to BE your now reality. Quite often, we become too esoteric in our quest for more awareness and clarity. But if we explore and understand (remember) the physics of the nature of reality, we discover that it’s really very simple and not as complex as we like to pretend it to be :)
Like I’ve said before, this can be a very easy and effortless process if you will choose to surrender to the highest version of you. That requires 100% trust in that higher version of you. Of course, if you have definitions and beliefs which are counter to that idea, then you have to unravel that before you’ll allow yourself to choose the idea of surrender.
Finally, I’ll leave you with an example of what can happen once you have surrendered and thus, you have placed 100% trust in the highest version of you:
It’s a hot lazy Sunday afternoon and you’re sitting in a restaurant quietly finishing your meal. You’re looking at the beautiful bay in front of you and your mind is absent any thought. Suddenly, there’s an image of a local sauna/spa center in your mind, it feels good to you. Because it feels good and it excites you, you act upon the image; there’s no internal dialogue weighing up the pros and cons.
After changing clothes you enter the sauna. There’s only one other person there and you’re realize that you’re physically attracted to them, you smile and sit down. They start talking to you and you begin to hit it off, at least in a friendly, flirty way. Whether or not this relationship goes any further is irrelevant. All that’s relevant is that you acted upon the images/guidance coming from the highest version of you; that’s inspired action.
It helps to know that whatever experience your highest version of you brings to you, it will serve you in some way. Because it is you, it knows all about you and what excites you. But can you believe that?
answered 27 Mar '12, 04:30
Just two days before I decided to quit the site a little bit because I had a mixed thoughts so I just want to arrange them, meditate in peace and come back, but I cannot help my digging into here, I love you guys!
I am professional in sabotaging my efforts, not the right one to answer as you want to release it but I had a little a comment as this issue effect me too
What is self-sabotage: In self-sabotage you "act out" internal conflicts by first moving toward a goal--then retreating from it. "I can do it" is offset by "I can't do it." "I want it" is overridden by "No, I don't want it." "I deserve it" countermanded by "I don't deserve it." The net result of such an ambivalent--or negative--attitude toward yourself is hardly to be envied. For the outcome is either immobilization (at times, an existential paralysis so exquisitely sculpted that push is perfectly balanced with pull, and pull with push). Or you're impelled--or rather, unconsciously compelled--to do everything in your power to defeat yourself.
From deep within, as a kind of hapless puppet, you may be controlled by programs so antagonistic or contradictory that it's simply impossible to achieve what, otherwise, might be well within your grasp. And insufficiently aware of the adverse self-beliefs underlying such programming--beliefs most likely derived from negative messages you regularly received from your parents--you can't confront (let alone resolve) your deepest conflicts. As I like to put it, until you've assimilated your past (i.e., fully "digested" it), it will keep repeating on you.
Needless to say, as long as you remain mostly unconscious about how self-defeatingly you've interpreted what happened to you in the past, you really can't allow yourself to straightforwardly follow your dreams. Unaware of the sabotaging aspects of your personality--those earlier self-denigrating parts afflicted with feelings of futility, incompetence, or unworthiness--you'll habitually trip yourself up. Your own very worst enemy.
wa3333333 that's scary, our own in very worst enemy.
How to solve it? just stop sabotaging your self. Is that reachable. it should be if you are serious in changing things and stop roaming around the problem talk about, discuss it, talk about it and only talk about it, and it is there increasing.
we all agreed that it is mind work so we must started there by reprogramming that mind on new beliefs, new attitudes new ways to deal with issues, Meditate, practice meditate and practice just mediate and practice till this solid thing is melted, Crumbles and decay.
There is a vital struggle in manifestation or any achievement which you already tagged about which is scaring from change, I called scaring from success, "so if it is completed should it be better if I chose that path and not this, can I handle the change, no let me here in my peace.... and more of self sabotage.
Now do you want to change it?
I so much want let us just quit it and turn the best version of us.
Meditate my friend just meditate for we really control this mind and never it is who control.
Meditate on these facts:
I love my mind and how I can direct it into my will. I am excited about my achievement and the change it will bring That's new events will provoke my mind to see another fact, to deal with another issues My mind is excited too and he is cooperating It is the right time for me to change
and you can complete it just be serious and it must change.
answered 26 Mar '12, 12:13
What I have found works for me is to isolate those fears. Put a name on it. What people don't realize is that you share your body with influences. Everyone does, but they don't know where the line is. When an act conflicts with your intentions, it is an influence. Polarize it, and consider it a nuisance, not an enemy because it is a part of you. You don't want to give power to it. When the influence pops up, you replace it with something closer to your goals and ambitions. Laugh at it, and move on, you will prevail.
well Calonlan i will say this: you created a place in your mind imagined to feel good. but you know that is not the way the road the path the train to take you there. and that is why those things appear to ruin it for you. do you not know that you drive the car and the train? you might be hungry but maybe not for what you have in front of you? and are waiting for something else? but you are not sure yet what it is? seek and you shall find. know what is in front of your face. and know yourself. stay in the truth and the truth will set you free,if you sabotage are you in the truth?hope it helped you.
Partly because what your doing is boring. Your mind is recognizing the pattern of the experience and finding it no longer interesting. Either enjoy the "Sabotage" your mind is creating or don't enjoy it. Sometimes the mind will desire a prior experience while other times the mind will desire a new experience, one that has not been explored yet. Feeding the mind new experiences can be challenging, especially when your unsure of what direction your mind wants to go. You can be proactive by traveling to unexplored areas and hope that your mind catches a fish of interest or you can be still and wait for the fish of interest to come to you. Either way, enjoy the experiences life has to offer and as you grow old you will have a library of experiences to open and reopen again and again.
answered 26 Mar '12, 10:07
Different instances would be handled differently. For the getting run over by a car and a train, instead of digging up the past to try to figure out why, I would change it now. Next time you do the guided meditation and a car or train come toward you, jump up in the air so it it misses you. You can land or fly from there. Use it as a virtual playground where you can overcome obstacles in the safety of your own mind. Don't try to create the obstacles, but if they present themselves, be prepared with the goal in mind to overcome whatever comes your way. Once you overcome it, quickly get back to the task at hand, which is your guided meditation. Don't allow it to take you on a total detour to distract you from the boring task of meditation that you may be trying to avoid.
As far as the not eating goes, maybe your tummy is a little off and what you have to eat doesn't sound good. Maybe once you take a bite, you will want more. If your tummy doesn't feel right, try eating an apple every evening about an hour or so after dinner.
answered 26 Mar '12, 10:45
If you are familiar with the sedona method or any other clearing technique, try to let go the "wanting to change the situation", or "wanting to control", try to relax and allow better things into your life.
Also, I saw these videos about a month ago or something and it made a big difference. Both are similar, but there are a couple of good points that are made in each one, so it's worth watching all of them.
To Transform the Ego mind
(I did the contract just as advised, signed it and everything, it really makes a difference!).
Ego Negotiation Part 1
answered 26 Mar '12, 11:26
If your subconscious has the habit of seeing the negative in things it will always go there. I found what helps me (because it will take awhile to change this negative habit) is hypnosis or ask yourself 'why?' each time you get those kind of images. So when you got hit by the train you could of asked yourself 'why' and referred it to your subconscious when asking. Imagine your subconscious disintegrating or evaporating or shrinking...etc.
answered 27 Mar '12, 00:44
Do you have 100% faith in Bashar's teachings?
For me, this following question had left me cautious of his teachings.
Do you believe that following the Law of Attraction of only staying in the positive will help those who are in need of help? What if there was actually only one reality and not infinite realities?
answered 01 Apr '12, 06:17
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