Some people seem to enjoy complaining and seeming negative to me. Just because it makes me feel negative, doesn't mean it makes them feel negative. So for people who enjoy complaining, is that their bliss? Does what seems like negative talk to me actually make them feel good?
I think I agree with you Fairy Princess.
Negativity does bring its own sense of comfort. Sometimes (or maybe most of the time) it takes the form self-pity.
It is easy to identify with negative things because it is all around us and easily available through the media.
There was a time when I lived within constant negativity, but not the type where I was negative of others, but rather I was negative towards my own self-worth.
I felt utterly worthless within myself and I just couldn’t find any cause to cheer myself up.
As negative as that was, it was also very comforting to be in it because people felt sorry for me and that attention was addictive.
Therefore, I would often voice my misery in the company of those who cared because I enjoyed the love that I received.
Of-course, I am not that person today; it is who I used to be about 15years ago.
Now I see negativity as something that we should not be afraid of.
A typical reaction of someone trying to be spiritual is to, carefully; guard their core identity against any sign of negativity.
I don't think that is healthy either.
We exist in constant duality, so we have to acknowledge the existence of all desires in humanity.
It is almost like looking at a pendulum that swings between positive and negative.
If I try to arrest its swing by holding it only on the positive side of the balance point, eventually when the imbalance tries to correct itself, it will swing right back into the negative side, just to let me know what it is that I am refusing to acknowledge.
Anybody that complains, I believe, is actually being triggered by their refusal to acknowledge all the goodness that is in the world.
When I was negative, it wasn't because I was completely identifying with negativity, it was because I desperately wanted to be "not negative" and I didn't know how to get there.
Then I went through my stage of being "completely positive".
I guarded my mind against any thought that was negative and immediately looked upon other's negativity as a sign of weakness of spirituality.
To my surprise, I found that there is as much inner tension in being positive as there is in being negative.
They are both un-natural extremes.
Somewhere in-between is a happy balance of acceptance where it is not about "trying to be anything"
Spirituality is a highly "loaded" word that is prized and worn as a badge by the one trying to be "Spiritual"
It is really a silly word that makes us think that we are somehow "special"; and therefore we tend to use this "identity of spirituality" as a qualification to pass judgement upon everyone else.
Sadly, for us, those who we judge are able to easily see beyond our facade of self-importance.
And we are too busy being important, that we are too blind to see this.
So what If somebody wants to complain?
Everyone needs to complain once, in a while.
It's a great therapeutic outlet.
The spirit takes care of us all and I think we are all exactly, where we are meant to be, complaints and all.
I can’t speak with authority on how doing anything will make anyone else feel. However, a former version of me was in that place of complaining. It was a habit formed by how I saw my world and my beliefs at that time, and being around other negatively focused people – one negative thought leads to another – and agreements about what was wrong abounded in my world – my beliefs were confirmed time and time again…
Until one day - a former girlfriend angrily looked me in the eye and with an ugly contorted face, said:
“Look at me, I am your mirror!”
I fell silent for about two hours as we continued driving along. Something changed in me on that day, and soon afterwards I began practicing the art of appreciation. And that’s how I moved from always complaining to never or very rarely complaining. It’s a simple choice. And having existed in both the negative state of complaining and the positive state of appreciation; I will never return to negativity.
While it may feel good to complain and to justify that action, which is really judgment, it feels so much better to appreciate the actual miracle of all life. It’s an equally valid choice to focus upon all of the good things in life and to appreciate that, instead of focusing upon what’s wrong.
answered 12 Apr '12, 23:37
Good question Fairy Princess. Lots of people complain because they do not want to see the truth about themselves, and they let their ego control them and they judge others.
But it is never about others it is about themselves, and it goes very deep in them. It is many things not solved in their window of perception. Until they solve their duality, it does not change.
Once they meditate and solve their duality they will not be afraid of the Truth. they will be at peace with themselves and with others.
The complaining or if you just want to say negativity may be a learned thing. If this is the case there is no blame. There is no blame anyway. I believe that I learned this from friends parents and environment. Things are learned some good some stupid like prejudice.
I am still practicing on being happy etc.
I have more pleasantness in my life and more possibilities now.
I'm not good when things don't go well but I have improved. I'm sure with practice I will gain much more power by not noticing the so called negative.
answered 11 Apr '12, 21:18
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