How do I know whether I am a success or a failure in life?

I think about Mozart, who was a genius at Music, yet was buried in a paupers' grave site, poor and sick and alone. This was because his music was ahead of its time; his music was not appreciated for its worth until after his death.

I think about those people who do not "fit in"- people like Emily Dickinson, who lived as a hermit, yet wrote beautiful poetry. Did she feel like a success?

Sometimes I feel like a failure because I do not have a lot of money- am actually very deeply in debt...But then I think about measuring success as it says in the Bible: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (6:21). My heart does not want wealth, but comfort and safety. Is that wrong? Sometimes, when I read about Manifesting on this site, I get the feeling that all anyone cares about is accumulating wealth. I wish to manifest happiness, friends, family, security- I want to have enough money just to be comfortable...

Some people would call me a failure because of my debt, yet am I?

How do I know whether I am living a successful, or failing, life?

In Peace,


asked 27 Jun '12, 02:23

Jaianniah's gravatar image



Your answers are ALL wonderful. wonderful! I cannot express how pleased I was to read them. Thank you! <3

(27 Jun '12, 17:50) Jaianniah

How do I know whether I am living a successful, or failing, life?


The only true measure of success is by how joyful you are in the moment.

Everything else is secondary.


Try telling someone who is drowning in debt, poor health, unhappy relationships, physical abuse, and so on, just to Be Happy and they won't be able to do it. That state is out of vibrational reach for them.

They can't be expected just to Be Happy when the events of this illusionary physical world dominate their senses so much that they cannot see the bigger picture.

So that's why you may get the impression that manifesting is all about material stuff. It's just because for many people, that is what is most important to them at this time so it is what is on their minds.

I can assure you that once your basic needs are taken care of, your mind will naturally elevate towards what you would consider to be more "spiritual" ideas. For me, I like "manifesting" spiritually-based knowledge, deeper and deeper understandings of these ideas, and ways to assist others in re-awakening to who they really are.

I think Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs expresses this concept well...

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Until you feel satisfied in your life at each lower level, you are not interested in directing your attention to any "higher" level. And what each person considers to be satisfaction is a personal judgement by them alone.

That is the point that I think is missed by a few on this site who have an agenda of pushing others to be more "spiritual" and less "material" to be happy.

Someone who, for example, is homeless or living in fear or poverty, is simply going to tell you to stick your "spirituality" up a very dark place if you don't show them how to deal with their "material" needs first :)


answered 27 Jun '12, 03:28

Stingray's gravatar image



@Stingray, I know that Maslow's pyramid, but I just looked at it again now. And a strange feeling took over me. For the first time I did not agree with that pyramid. Throughout all levels can be found things that, in my opinion, don't need to be there at all. Like Physiological - sex, Safety - property, Love - friendship, Esteem - respect of others. Furthermore, all levels are interconnected, not one put on another. I like the idea of 4 equal levels - spiritual, mental, emotional and physical

(27 Jun '12, 06:12) CalonLan

and all four of them being in balance. Any area being lower than others will drag those others down, just as one being higher than others might help elevate them higher.

In other words, to get out of poverty or debt, you need confidence that you can do it. You just don't take care of poverty without being confident that you can take care of it. So in this respect, it is my believe the pyramid doesn't reflect true relation of each part to another, and thus is a flawed concept to live by.

(27 Jun '12, 06:15) CalonLan

@CalonLan - All that we discuss on IQ are paradigms, not absolute truths because your truth is dependent on your personal peceptual filter. So if you find another paradigm works better for you and your current beliefs, you should absolutely use it :)

(27 Jun '12, 07:32) Stingray
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

This is a great question @Jaianniah. I am curious to read the responses as I am sure many other readers would be. One of the most difficult thing to assess in one's life is the 'success'one has achieved. Actually, that's the easy part, a millionaire is seen as successful in general by most people. But, what I would want to know is does that millionaire feels successful? Sorta like the question I would've liked to ask Mr. Mozart.

I think for me the question would be 'Do I feel I am successful?'. One of my biggest influences in life while growing up (from age 14 onwards) was this man who was flamboyance personified, a go-getter, assertive, aggressive, well read and very well traveled. He was peaking in his professional life as I was entering my 20's. He was everything I wanted to be. My life actually mirrors his to a great extent.

Now he is 70+ years old, bed-ridden, in one room with his attendants and nurses. His remaining wealth is enjoyed by his kids, who crib about how he lost most of it in last years of his working life. He is bed-ridden now and yet, whenever I meet him, its his spirit towards life that makes me want to meet him again. He amassed assets, lost most of them and yet, when the final equation will be drafted, he will come out a winner in my eyes.

One of the best answers to the question 'Do you feel content with your life?' came from him when I asked him couple of years ago. The answer 'It's a game, you are part of it now, so you must play it for the sake of playing it because at the end there are no winners and losers. These are man-made words. God is not that petty'. His words. Something I take it to my heart very seriously.

Problem is, we all want to play like each other. I feel one just has to play and make THAT- the playing- the fun part. Everything that we own belonged to someone else before us and will belong to yet someone else when we are gone. You were not born with wealth or debt, you will not leave with wealth/debt, it is the journey that is the reward.

If I think forward to my death bed, I think most I would be proud of while looking back, would be my experiences. So, in that sense, I am fairly successful and so are you. More successful that most and not as successful as others:) I used to, but now I don't think that wealth accumulation as the finishing line...that damn line keeps moving forward:))

So, go with what your heart says. There's no right or wrong. And if you do not go with your heart, you'll just end up playing like someone else's heart wants you to:)

As always, here's hoping all that helped somewhat:)


answered 27 Jun '12, 03:53

Xoomaville's gravatar image


edited 27 Jun '12, 04:40

Hi Jai
You need to use your own yardstick to measure your "success". Another persons beliefs about what is success are not yours. I joke that I am millionaire in debt,which is not far from the truth if you use the local currency. ( I also realized that it is a negative belief so I say jokingly) My belief is that I will be debt free..
So Jai get a yardstick and write your name on the back it and make it yours and stop using other peoples to measure life. And know that at this moment you are appreciated by many( count me as one of them ).If you look globally at the world are there not millions of people the would love to be where you are right now as opposed to where they are right now.

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.
Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.
Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.
Count your health instead of your wealth.
Author: Unknown



answered 27 Jun '12, 04:50

ursixx's gravatar image


edited 27 Jun '12, 04:57

it may take awhile to
find out that we know
we achieved our purpose
here in this earth life

in the meantime be sure
to know why you choose


answered 27 Jun '12, 05:55

fred's gravatar image


Oh Jai, I can feel the "resistance" in your words.

You say you "feel like a failure because you don't have a lot of money and in debt" but yet your "heart does not want wealth."......there's a big contradiction there!!

Everybody wants wealth!!..... It is "Safety and Comfort!"....think of the comfort you would have going to the grocery store "never" having to look at the prices. Knowing all the bills are paid and you have lots left over to go on a vacation....To actually not want wealth is abnormal.

.....can you really see yourself saying: extra $100,000 every year!? No thank you!! You give it to someone else!!

..a new car!? No thank you!!

..A new house!? No way! I would rather do without!!

Of course not......

Our society (or should I say establishments) has brainwashed us into thinking that wanting to be Rich and Wealthy is "BAD" "SELFISH" "GREEDY" "YOU NEED TO BE IN DEBT" "MONEY IS DIRTY"....when it's quite the contrary! is our absolute "BIRTH RIGHT" to be rich!

Nature surrounds us with "over abundance!" That's the way it's suppose to be.....

As an example:

Look at an apple tree....."FULL" of apples, more than you could "ever" look at that apple tree sitting in a "massive orchard" with so many more apple tree's "FULL" of apples! How could you ever eat that many apples? Think of the deer the orchard attracts that could give meat for a life time. The apples attract bee's which produce honey nearby. Running beside the orchard is a stream that would provide the freshest water for a life time, and that stream runs into a nearby lake "FULL" of fish. It all yours! Enjoy!!....would you feel wrong accepting it?


Yes!! You would feel wrong accepting this....

Yes!!....Because it's being "SELFISH" & "GREEDY" "TAKING MORE THAN YOU NEED" "YOU SHOULD ONLY TAKE ONE APPLE FOR YOURSELF" or you might expect a very unhappy farmer coming after you.

....that's what our subconscious tells us every time we think of Wealth and being Rich.

Because....That's the way the establishments taught all of us to think since we were children.

The same establishments that are very very very Rich!

...and when we see others with the same things we "desire" it makes us feel like failures....or.... it makes us feel bad!

...and if we accomplish something we "desire" it makes us feel like successes....or.... it makes us feel good!

So maybe you should re-word your question to "How do I "measure" whether I'm Feeling Good or Feeling Bad?"

Here's a technique to try: (and anybody else reading this)

Every night as you're lying in bed going to sleep, create your own apple orchard. It's yours, just as if it's your first day on earth. Nobody is around, just you. See it, just like a Walt Disney cartoon. Throw in some pear trees, cherry trees, some deer and other animals, some mountains, fields, a lake...whatever you wish, you are creating it. Hear the bee's buzzing. See all the apples, cherries and pears hanging from the!! There's so much! It's so beautiful!! Smell all the fruit. Your eyes are in awe trying to absorb how much they're seeing. See that running stream, see the fish jumping! The sky is blue with a nice white cloud. The sun is shining. It's so peaceful....and there's so much of everything!! It's yours just like the roof of your mouth is yours! Just like your Birthday present is yours! Source gets great joy to see your joy!! Have as much as you want....because it was created just for you. Help yourself to it Please!!!'s all yours and the animals and they're already enjoying and eating......"feel the abundance"...feels good doesn't it!!? Just play in the orchard till you fall asleep. this every night for 2 - 3 weeks then tell us if anything new happened in your life!!


answered 29 Jun '12, 00:32

Eldavo's gravatar image


I will try this! Stay tuned.....!!! <3

(29 Jun '12, 02:31) Jaianniah

Very good answer, the establishment you speak of the S.O.S. calls it the Anti-civilization. You are speaking as if you are C of U though, are you S.O.S. too? This is a very enlightening and respectable answer. :-)

(29 Jun '12, 02:33) Wade Casaldi

Let me ask you Jai, why are you wondering whether you are living successful or failing life, instead of wondering whether you are living the life YOU WANT to live or not?

Your original question focuses on concept of measurement. Just as all those other questions from this category. We ask... Does long skirt suit me more than short one? instead of, What do I WANT to wear today

Do what you WANT to do. Live as you WANT to live and don't bother yourself with labels and measures that are put by your friends, your family, your society, by the whole universe on the things you WANT. Because those labels are just OPINIONs and it's easy to get lost and hopeless in the ocean of opinions we hear each day. And so often we forget our own opinions, that we drown in opinions of others.

Don't search for security, acceptance, or liking in other people, but yourself.

If you don't like your situation, do something about it. Don't ask for illusory measures only to lie to yourself about your situation, to ease the pain of hurting that you might have. The question is always simple. Do I like where I am or not? Yes or no!

You might be in debt and people will tell you are a failure. Others will tell you it isn't that bad. Some will try to shift your focus pointing out you should be happy that you are alive. Believe nothing, regardless of where or whom it comes from. Think instead and experience it for yourself. Learn for yourself. Live for yourself - not for others. Fulfill your dreams, don't live to satisfy opinions of others. Forget the labels and measurements.


answered 27 Jun '12, 06:43

CalonLan's gravatar image


edited 27 Jun '12, 06:45

How do I know whether I am a success or a failure in life?

i will give you the answer you seek. you are boot. if you believe you are a success you do not see your failure. and if you believe you are a failure you do not see your have the right mesure you need to be in truth.

in truth i tell you if you are lost to the right and the left you cannot accept the truth.

so stay in the truth.

The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment:

These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in your courts;

who is with out sin to cast the first stone?

the stone of foundation will set you free.


answered 28 Jun '12, 01:31

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

@white tiger Welcome back in IQ white tiger.

(28 Jun '12, 07:10) Wade Casaldi

i am also happy to see you again wade(smile). i have add hardware failure so i made some repairs. well mater is not eternal. so we need to renew it after all.

(28 Jun '12, 21:09) white tiger

Yes I know how that can be unfortunately from my past experiences with computers.

(29 Jun '12, 02:35) Wade Casaldi
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Asked: 27 Jun '12, 02:23

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Last updated: 29 Jun '12, 02:35

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