Can you fall in a trap by thinking you are helping a person to understand how you perceive something works and by doing so bring the person to a higher understanding but instead the person refuses to see your point and sees your help as an attack own their views. Would you get upset and frustrated with the person reaction to your help and get youself off balance?
This seems to be a case of Why do people try to convert each other to their own belief systems. The only reason why you would get upset is because you are unhappy that the other person is not believing what you are actually believing. That is really all there is to it.
As humans, every one of us tries to force our own belief systems onto another person, and when someone does not accept our opinions, we tend to get unhappy very easily. This applies in almost every other area if you think about it, not just in terms of spiritual or metaphysical stuff.
By accepting that the person you are helping has his own right to believe what he wants, there would be no reason for you to feel frustrated or unhappy anymore.
answered 14 Dec '12, 10:21
Sure, you can fall into that trap.
That's why it's a bad idea to give answers to someone when they are not asking the questions that fit those answers :)
...they won't hear it, and it will frustrate you that they don't hear it. It's better to just keep silent until they ask directly.
I think the need for someone to see your point of view ultimately comes from insecurity within.
When you are secure in your own viewpoint, you really don't care what anyone believes and you actually respect their right to believe differently.
I've come to see that many people who ask for advice mainly want someone to tell their troubles to, and often don't even listen to our carefully chosen words of wisdom.
In the end I believe every encounter is to get to know myself better; and if that is the only purpose of offering those words of wisom ,then it's time well spent.I am more and more able to let go the outcome of anything I say or do.
I am free from thinking I have to be the person with all or any of the answers.
I am able to say a few kind words without trying to change them in some way.
They will always follow their own path anyway, and soothing them may make them dependent upon me in an unhealthy way for me.This has been an awesome journey of growth for me to learn what works best for me in my life.
answered 15 Dec '12, 04:43
You USUALLY fall into your own trap!
As @clearheart said, most people want to vent, to air their own feelings, not asking advice.
Listen carefully. There is a big difference in someone saying, "I need your help/advice." And them saying, "Let me tell you what happened to me."
There are people who may ask your help, and then not do what you suggest. These people are called "Askholes." (grin) Let's have a little humor here!
The problem comes when people refuse to let you take control. They like to exercise their free will even when you know better than them what to do!
Like if you see they are going to do something wrong and you try to take over they actually get mad!
You say, "Get out of the way let me do that", do you get a thank you? Even though you got the job done better than what they were, people get mad for some reason.
I was always thankful when my dad said "Get out of the way let me do that", he always did things right and handled the problem for me.
I was always thankful for the help. :-)
I think it is easy to fall in the trap specially for those of us new on the path of self study, I have many many times realized how my Ego has played the game of superiority in which it has made my believed I knew better so it meant the person had to listen and do as I was telling him or her to do. I also think those who have been on the path for a long time have to be on the look out cause the Ego is a Master at what it does. My humble opinion Love and Light
answered 15 Dec '12, 15:36
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