I recently realized what is most likely the source to basically all of my problems: I don't feel justified in anything unless someone else justifies it; that is to say that I don't feel I can have my own opinions unless others accept/agree with them.
As to dating, I have a terminal fear of rejection because, I realized, I'm afraid that if I'm rejected it makes me worth less as a human being.
How do I get over this belief? How do I throw it off once and for all?
asked 29 Jan '13, 19:01
Your general belief sounds like unworthiness to me like you already stated. I can honestly say that it took me a long time to clear my own unworthiness beliefs. But it was worth it. Most of it is now gone for good i believe. Sometimes i can detect still little layers of unworthiness but i can clear them instantly and they never come back.
So this is just my experience but expect to encounter many layers of it, especially if it's a problem that comes from childhood and it bothers you for a long time. I can just give you tips to make the clearing process much much faster.
There are many belief change methods or clearing techniques that can help with that. To really make a lasting change you should first identify your unworthiness feelings/beliefs and its different forms. Here are some forms that bothered me for a long time. I have a long list of it on my PC. Just a few examples:
The list goes on and on. Here is just my personal experience. It could help you move forward much quicker than i did. Because i had to figure this all out first. And it was not always pleasant to do so.
If you do this constantly you will notice that your life changes. You feel much better. You speak differently. You act differently. It feels freeing to not seek approval first before doing something. So it's very worth it!
answered 29 Jan '13, 19:39
I have the same problem.
I find myself constantly asking, "Is everything okay? Did I do that right?" and so on.
What helped me the most, interestingly enough, has been participating here on Inward Quest. Writing for Inward Quest has opened doors for me. I now write for HubPages, and have started writing my second book. It is very validating to be told that your answer helped someone. It seems simple enough, but for me, it goes deep into my soul, and heals something there. It has taken 3 and 1/2 years, but I suddenly am starting to feel worthwhile; I feel that I have some value.
The moral is this: Act as if you already have value, and you will get it.
I do not know why this works, but it does. "Fake it 'til you make it!"
Hang in there!
answered 29 Jan '13, 20:02
The problem is not that you share with other or that they accept or do not accept.Sometime they can help you or give you advice according to their experience and that is all fine.The real problem is that you doubt your self and do not know your self inside then how can you know other? Then you doubt them also. If you doubt mean that you still need to be aware,concentrate,focus, seek,do your work of faith and find your own inner wisdom and your own life force(Pistis/Sophia/Zoe).
As for dating be your self,be the light that you can be,if they reject you it is their choice they do not know what they are missing.And it might be better that way they might not deserve you,and you might have escape alot of problem that you do not need in your life.But to believe that you need someone to be happy even someone that reject you,you only hurt your self and keep your self in darkness.Many in this world are in darkness storing treasure where moths and worm come to destroy,seeking only things from the outside money,material desire,power,popularity.And they will be like by people that are wanting the same thing for them self.Then are they truly looking to love someone like they would like to be loved? if you find someone that as not alot of material things but love you and it can work between you will you want to go with that one? Or will you go for the one that does not love you that it does not work to much between you and that as material stuff,money,power,popularity and seek the same stuff from you?
you that call your self: @Existentialux remember those word:fiat lux יְהִי אוֹר
So let there be light,Be the light that you can be,experience and enjoy.
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