3 years ago, I met whom I thought was one of the most beautiful girls in creations. She was single but getting to know someone who she had met someone 6 months before me. At that time, they weren't talking.
We had an immediate connection which later turned into a undeniable chemistry and love. I found out she cheated on me with the girl. I reacted in a way I shouldn't have. The girl found out we were dating so she asked her to marry her within months. She said yes. They continued to be off and on. We were off.
Fast forward, she has a ceremony in June 2012. We hooked back up August 2012. She said she wasn't happy and made a mistake but didn't know how to leave. She constantly went back and forth between us until they ended or so I thought. She wanted to be with me and move forward but yesterday told me she was going to go back to her and that's her final. No call, no explanation. Nothing. She won't even talk to me. How can I completely let her go? I really loved her.
Don't know what to do now. We were just together Wednesday and she was telling me how in love she is with me, this is our year, she wants to be with me. I don't know what I did to her, what I didn't do, who I wasn't... I just feel broken. I don't know. She just completely walked away.
Everything happens for a reason and it helps you.
People come into your life and things seem to happen that are great that then become painful. Deep inside you know that they serve a purpose of some kind; to help you learn a lesson, figure out what you want, who you are ... these people can be members of your family, teachers, lovers, someone you meet by chance in the street ... all this may seem very unfair but in time when you overcome these trials you'll realize that without them you'd never make progress and attain your true potential ... believe in yourself and others will believe in you
answered 19 Jan '14, 10:54
Hello. I am very sorry to hear you are in pain. I want to share my own story for you so that it might be healing for you. But before the story, I want to explain to you what Karma is. Karma is not what most think it is. Karma is basicly the law of attraction. It is a religious view. Karma suggest that something that was done long ago still is relevant in ur life now, and that is not true UNLESS you believe it is. Also remember when you are in a relationship, it is actually a co-creation. They also add energy in the interaction. I understand that really relationships are truly reflections of whats inside you, but you have to account for all of your beliefs. All of your thoughts. LAw of attraction said that whatever happens in ur energy in the moment is what you get back. I was with the same woman for a long time. 20 years and 13 married. She was the first true love I had. I'm now in the middle of the divorce. There was allot of past we both shared that was negative as well as positive. my point here is the beliefs I had about the relationship and what it could or should be was not correct. I co created the experience of negativity. I believed that I would have to give of myself. Now I am in a new relationship with another woman and she is wonderful. I find myself being so aware of every thought and belief I have with her. When I start to miss her or become sad when I worry I won't see her, i start creating that reality. Then I stop focusing on what I have instead of what I do not, or what I am afraid to loose. When you began to lose this person, i feel your fear set in. I feel that you believed it wouldn't work. And this helped add to that creation of that specific situation. I hope this makes sense. Please listen to this vid, i feel it will help you understand more.
Look man, you are 'needy.' I don't wish to make light of such a sensitive topic but I'm just gonna dive straight into this answer of mine.
All the girls that 'dumped' me, I really thank them for doing that, because they would have ended up with an insecure, needy boy. However, it's just as well, as I've discovered sometime later all of those girls were the exact opposite of me- they all had problems, they were all insecure and needy at times, and it's just a bad mix up.
I've posted on here before 2 very good ideas you can borrow from the philosophy of the film Forest Gump:
1- (In relation to this). Do you love her unconditionally? That's the only real love that exists, otherwise it's just economics of romance- you do this for me and I'll do this. Of course if you play that game, logically you will become upset at times when the other partner doesnt fulfil their end of the bargin! Forest Gump has a romantic love for Jenny, yet he always loved her uncondtionally. I'm sure he was aware she was into drugs and sleeping around, yet he always had her heart open for her. He let her walk her own path, whether that was with or without him for some of the time. My suggestion for you would be to totally let her do as she wishes (but don't be a doormat of course and remember to respect yourself), yes, just cut her loose man. You don't need her to be happy or fulfilled.
2- All of the 'bad' things that happened to Forest Gump (and other characters), ironically, turned out to actually be miraculous things!! In the film, Forest gets shot during a war and is hospitalised. If he was not hospitalised, he never wouldve discovered his passion for Ping Pong and end up becoming a world champion!! There are numerous examples in the film! Think how this situation of yours may turn out to be a good thing :)
answered 20 Jan '14, 01:29
My 35-year relationship with my now ex-husband ended. It was a very painful and horrible time in my life. Karma? No. I believe what happened was that our "vibrations" (meaning the level at which our souls vibrated at) became too different for the relationship to survive. When we first married, we were close, but I did not realize that he had "itchy feet"- he traveled extensively as a child and teen, thanks to the fact that his Dad worked for United and he got to go anywhere he wanted for free. He got used to travel, and loved it. After our marriage, he eventually manifested jobs that required travel. Unfortunately, I am a homebody, and he was gone often from Monday through Friday. We had only one car when he first began doing this, and it sat at O'Hare all week because I could not do expressway, rush-hour driving. Never could- I tried it, and got lost in the huge complex of O'Hare and spent two hours in the wrong section of Chicago trying to get home..ugh.
It really fell apart when I gave birth to our fourth and last child, Kimberly. She really never knew her Dad, and when I became ill with my first bad MRSA infection, and required hospitalization for long periods of time, He only stayed home just until I got home, irregardless of whether I was able to run the house while bed-ridden. The burden fell upon our kids, and they thus were angry; they could not do after=school activities. It was hard enough just keeping our three daughters in Band, and trying to keep up with lessons and concerts and Marching Band etc.
I went into total denial, even when I discovered that John was cheating on me while on the road- and began drinking heavily both away from home and on the weekends. My parents made it clear I was not to ask them for help, and John's parents only heard from John all the negative aspects of his life, so they, too, did nothing to aid us, despite both sets of grandparents living within driving distance.
You see how our vibrations began to shift away from each other? Now that I have some perspective on everything, I can make some honest observations about how we were destined to fall apart at some point. John was irreligious- I was a Christian. I stayed away from church for years because of his dislike of religion- so I began journaling and praying to God alone during the days while the kids were in school. That's one thing that should have made me think before I ever married him.
Secondly, John was appointed to The US Merchant Marine Academy after High School- like West Point- a great honor. But he bombed out, but I should have realized that a guy who wanted to live his life at sea for months at a time was not going to be real happy living without travel. I just never thought about this. I just assumed that he would "settle down" and be happy.
Thirdly, I got pregnant after we were engaged and when the wedding plans were set in granite. I felt trapped but did not know why. I wanted time to think, and to figure out where my life was going and how a baby would end my dream of ever returning to college to become a doctor. I walked up the aisle, and I felt like an actress playing a part. I felt like running far, far away. I did not want an abortion- I wanted time. So John and I went from single to married to parents all within seven months (to the day). I became very depressed after my son's birth. John worked in a factory and hated it, but he made great money and got a night-shift bonus, which allowed me to stay at home with our baby, which is what I wanted, after having been raised myself by a never-ending series of babysitters while my Mom worked.
I am going into this detail so you can see how disharmony builds and builds until a great rift forms. John is a wonderful person, but we were totally incompatible in many ways. He is a very early morning person, and I am a very late night owl. At the end, I was going to bed practically when he was just arising (when he was home). It drove him crazy, completely crazy. He did not believe that it was genetic- and also, that I was raised by my night-owl parents.
Wade and I have a very different relationship, and I can tell you one thing- we are both night owls, and it's great to not feel bad about staying up late! We share many interests, and are both religious and Christian, another biggie. In short, our vibrations really run pretty much along very much a similar way.
So it is not karma- it is that vibrational thing. You may be mystified as to why you lost your partner, but I'll bet that it has to do with this. After a time, when you get done grieving, you may be able to see where things were just not meant to be.
And, NO!!!!!! You did nothing to deserve this. It is not your Karma. It is just the way her vibrations felt to her. Please forgive yourself...and heal. Trust me...someone else special will come along, and all will be well again.
Hope this all helps you understand. Thank you for asking the question. I appreciated being able to write objectively about my failed marriage. It is a big step for me-- I guess I have healed.
Blessings and Good Luck,
answered 21 Jan '14, 05:53
White tiger posted a video on string theory that I later re-posted. This explains a lot about frequency and how everything is trying to find harmony.
There are things in you that your girlfriend finds harmony with. But there are things in this other guy she also finds harmony with.
This is not a conflict but a choice of preference, think on times when you had to decide on what meal you wanted. You liked two dishes but you couldn't eat both and would even get sick if you tried, it would be too much and maybe they would even clash. So one day you pick one, the next you pick the other. Both are in harmony with you but out of harmony with each other.
So here is the meat of the matter, she needs to find which she is mostly in harmony with.
It is not a question of changing your frequency for her then you would feel a fraud and would lose her anyway. So you must be true to yourself, if she isn't you will find your match.
Right now you are hurting bad, I know that pain. I believe we can all recall that same pain. I'll pray for you to be comforted and find release from this pain.
Principle of causation (or Sow and Reap) is pure science, and also backed by religion! Many people mistake this principle as determinism. Yet it's like a drama played by TWO characters--free-will and fate--Once an action is CHOSEN, result is FIXED. Hence, Law of Karma is the TRUTH behind all happenings. We breathe the SAME air, drink the SAME water, take in SAME energy through varieties of food, are sustained by the SAME gravity, all of which are sustained by the SAME supreme reality called God, who has put into operation the one and the SAME Law of Karma as the governing principle behind all happenings. (Compare Gita 7:29; 8:3; 13:20, 21) And if you know this there is "nothing further remains to be known in this world." (Gita 7:2) All happenings are like jewels strung on THE THREAD of a necklace--the thread called Law of Karma. There is definitely some cause(s) for each happening--whether visible or invisible, perceivable or unperceivable. People with limited view see only the pearls whereas the wise can see also the thread that holds the pearls.
Prima facie, the viable and wise option, the only thing that can make one self-motivated to do good or to be spiritual is "Sow and Reap" principle (Galatians 6:7) which God ensured to run as an unmistakable thread from the beginning till the end of the Bible. (Genesis 4:10-12; 9:6; Deuteronomy 24:16; 1 Kings 8:32; Job 34:11; Psalm 62:12; Isaiah 3:10-11; Jeremiah 31:29-30; Ezekiel 18:20; Habakkuk 2:3, 4; Mathew 16:27; Romans 14:12; 1 Peter 1:17; Revelation 2:23; 20:12; 22:12-15)
The beauty of life is that though what is done cannot be undone, we can see it, understand it and take lesson from it with a resolve not to repeat what is not healthy, and to better our future.
answered 20 Jan '14, 01:46
T D Joseph
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