I am kind of new to this and it has only been a couple of weeks of paying attention to my thoughts and feelings and stay on a frequency of "feeling good". Most of the time I have been very successful and I notice a definite correlation between the way that I feel and the circumstances that I attract.
Even just noticing this correlation gives me the motivation to continue and not to give up. One thing that always concerned me was allowing other people to change my frequency. For instance, my boyfriend, when he has a bad day, or something goes wrong, he has a way of constant complaining, and spiraling into a depth of negativity which always seems to drag my mood down with him.
For the last couple of weeks, I have stayed extremely positive and had it in my head that I was not going to allow anyone to affect my mood. What I have discovered is that as long as I stay in a "feel good" frequency, he does not complain to me about his day, job ect. If fact, when he is around me he seems to adopt my frequency. This is something to me is truly amazing because I have never even seen him this happy for so long without one complaint.
Furthermore, I am sure that he is still complaining but I do not see it nor hear it or sometimes he will start to go off about something and the conversation is easily switched to something else. On the flip side, what I have realized that when I do start thinking negative thoughts, sometimes I feel as if the flood gates open and one thing goes wrong after another until I feel as tho I am trapped in my head and I literally have no idea how to stop the negative thoughts.
No matter how hard I try, things keep going wrong, I get frustrated and I literally have an argument going on in my head. The worst part is that I recognize that all of these bad things are happening because of what I am thinking and yet I am still powerless to control it.
This happenened to me early today and it ended up with a fight with my boyfriend and I finally meditated for 20 minutes cleared my head and I felt better and was a good frequency after that, but it didn't last long. Is it normal in the beginning to have such a lack of control? Is there anything that I can do to prevent going into a negative frequency.
Also, does it eventually get easier. I hear everyone say how it becomes effortless, but how much time before it gets easier and doesn't feel like such hard work??
I've been a few times in and out of good (i.e. ecstatic) feeling weeks and I've noticed a few things.
Stage 1: Feeling good is hard work
If you are not used to feeling good at all, it definitely feels like hard work. Same goes when you establish good feeling states but you become sloppy and you do not bother about feeling good for a few days or weeks. So it's quite possible that you have to start all over again.
At this stage it just feels completely wrong (and extremely difficult) to "ignore reality" and to then feel good for no reason. "I can't just assume that this problem a or b isn't there. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!!!!"
Stage 2: Feeling good is just too boring
But if you can bring yourself to push through the first resistance (through pure will power) and try to find less bad feeling thoughts or neutral feeling thoughts, you begin to see and feel little pieces of good feeling moments. Sometimes you even get into the Vortex (ecstatic feeling state). But usually it will spit you out quickly, often within a few seconds.
At this stage you are often able to feel bored or slightly...good...but often not good enough. It's kind of boring. Your habitual thought patterns prompt you to think about more interesting and specific things such as bad TV news or your "big life issues". Not very good feeling... but interesting... in a dissatisfying way. But you can't think specifically positive thoughts yet. Vibrationally it's not quite possible yet.
Also bad feeling thoughts seem to have more power over positive feeling thoughts. "I wonder if it will ever be possible to feel good most of the time. It's just so difficult to find good feeling thoughts. The ones I seem to find are boring anyway"
Stage 3: Feeling good is easy and exciting
Appreciation of simple things is now possible most of the time. Things start to make sense (again). Insights occur and some interesting little ideas manifest into your thought process. They are not the big ideas you are looking for, however, they do feel good.
You manifest more and more ecstatic feeling periods. Your outer world starts to reflect that. Things start to change and you start to care less about outer things. You begin to realize that feeling good is more fun than trying to observe what has not manifested. So you don't really care. You realize (on an emotional level, not just logical) that feeling good is the ultimate goal because it just feels good to feel good. Period.
You start to tell people how simple everything is and that being in the Vortex is the key. They usually just roll their eyes and hand you an address of a drug-counselling service :).
You care less about circumstances, so things you always wanted for so long start to manifest. "I don't get why people just don't seem to understand that everything you need to know is to feel good. And why do they even think that feeling good is difficult? However, I just love them no matter what they think".
answered 03 Apr '14, 22:47
Jess, while reading your post, I recognized that some of things you are dealing with, are the result misinformation about Law of Attraction (LOA). I will try to help by addressing these errors first. They become apparent when we look at some of the beliefs that you expressed. I have listed them below in the order they appeared. Some of them are direct quotes, while others are edited for the purpose of "pulling" out the underlying belief whether stated or inferred. I do this because it is your beliefs that you need to be concerned about. I apologize for any errors of interpretation I may have made.
1.) I have to stay on a frequency of "feeling good"...This belief is inferred based on many different statements and I am only assuming how it might end. What will happen if you fail to stay on the feeling good frequency? It does not really matter because this belief is based on a misunderstanding of LOA. Let my try to explain. This and other beliefs you have expressed are all about avoiding or eliminating negative thoughts and emotions and that accomplishing this task should be effortless. The first thing you need to fix are the errors of definition. Defining thought, emotion, feeling, and belief.
Thoughts: If you Google the question "how many thoughts do we have each day?" you will learn that researchers claim we have anywhere between 7000 and 70,000 thoughts each day. It sounds impossible until you do the math. Let's say the number is somewhere in between like 40,000 which breaks down to approx 1600 thoughts per hour or 27 per minute. That makes it seem more plausible. Either way the idea that you can correctly define what thought are negative and then systematically eradicate them would be like running around with a fly swatter swinging in every direction as you try to swat only the flies you consider annoying. It just will not work. Negative thoughts are not what are effecting circumstances. It is your BELIEFS about the circumstances that influence how you respond in any given circumstances, and unlike your thoughts, you are not always consciously aware of your beliefs. So the challenge is to determine what belief am I holding on to that is the source of this negative experience.
Belief: A belief is a thought that is repeated over an over again over time. When you begin to vocalize one of these thoughts, you are in a sense testing the thought and deciding if it has the status of belief... The point being that the is a process if repetitive thought with an emotional element such as conviction which turns a thought into a belief and gives it the power to actually affect your reality in a negative or positive way. With this in mind, you do not need to worry about every thought you have that YOU define as negative. They have no power to have immediate effects. You may think circumstances are being affected by your present thoughts when in reality it is an underlying belief relating to the thought or circumstances that is affecting things.
Emotion/Feeling: Your feelings are the physiological response to emotion. Different people will experience different degrees of feeling their emotions. Feelings are the outward expression of emotion. A person not expressing his or her feeling does not mean they are not experiencing emotions. There are a number of factors that might effect how you feel, however it is the underlying emotion that is of most importance to you.
The idea that you must eliminate all negative emotions is from an overall perspective okay. You first need to understand that your emotions act as an internal guidance system. When we experience an emotion (pos. or neg.) and associated feelings, we usually respond by behaving in a manner that reflects our beliefs about that emotion. For example, I might experience something that makes me angry (only because of beliefs I have about that particular something. If I had no set belief about it, I would not have a response at all. Observe how different people respond differently to the same or similar events). Therefore, the emotion of anger announces itself through my body language that I may "feel" as a shaking sensation (that really angry). At this point, if I do not understand the reason, purpose and meaning for emotions, I will begin to behave in accordance with my habitually programmed response (Which is also based on a belief I have adopted from somewhere in my past. Because that's how dad would respond etc.) Maybe I have a habit of yelling, screaming, cursing or maybe I remain silent as I go beat on some offender because he made me mad, because he did something that according to MY beliefs required that I get angry which according to MY beliefs required that I Beat him. In this case, the person allows emotions to control them.
Under similar circumstances, another person who understands that emotions are his guidance system will react differently when experiencing the emotion. He is angered by some event and immediately recognizes that his anger is an alert signal. It tells him that this event is out of alignment with a belief he has. Before responding he will first try to determine what that belief is and if still serves him in a way that is true to the person he desires to be or become. If he determines the belief is irrational or limiting in some way, he can then use this moment of exposing the belief to remove it, replace it or ignore it. However he chooses to deal with it, the out come is the same. The belief is disabled, its power reduced to zero, never to rise again. This whole process can happen in less than a minute or so and will alter the way he responds to the event. His anger dissolves into nothing as his emotions return to their normal neutral state until triggered again for no other reason but to show his state of alignment to what he desires to be.
I hope that was not too confusing as it serves as a response to a number of your expressed beliefs!
2.) There is a correlation between the way that I feel and the circumstances that I attract....See above
3.) Allowing other people to change my frequency concerns me....Your concern is unfounded. No one can "change your frequency" or make you feel anything you do not want to feel. You alone are responsible for how you are feeling since it is your beliefs that cause them. Saying you allow other to do this is just trying to avoid taking full responsibility, trying to convince yourself that you are some how a victim. You may make a choice to allow, but you are still the only one responsible in that you could just have easily chose not to allow. Taking full responsibility has its benefits. You have full control and the full power that comes with it. 4.) As long as I stay in a "feel good" frequency, he does not complain to me. He seems to adopt my frequency...It's not possible to "adopt a frequency" There are way too many factors that go into creating a particular vibration. His reactions will stem from his beliefs. He may have a belief that it is wrong to try to take away your positive feelings because this is something people in love do not do to each other. That one possibility.
5.) I am sure that he is still complaining but I do not see it...don't let an assumption develop into a belief. So, what if he is still complaining as long as he is not complaining to you. By thinking this way, you in effect are devaluing his effort to refrain from complaining. It would be much more beneficial for both of you if instead of thinking that he's still complaining, go to him and tell him how much you appreciate his not complaining, how it shows that he wants you to feel happy by not putting his problems on you. Gees, give the poor dog a bone when he deserves oneJ
6.) When I start thinking negative thoughts, one thing goes wrong after another... Again, it is not the thoughts; it is believing that negative thoughts will cause things to go wrong. You are creating a self-perpetuating myth, which is not necessary. Use this moment of exposure to disable this essential destructive belief.
7.) I feel as though I am trapped in my head. I have no idea how to stop the negative thoughts...Refer to Belief one but for additional support, try this exercise of imagination. Close your eyes. Imagine the dark space expands beyond the confines of your head. Look to a distant point far away and above you and imagine you see a huge (judging from you distant position) creature you cannot describe. There appears to be an endless stream of alphabet soup flowing from the beast and the stream is coming towards you. As it approaches you, observe the various letters are forming into words and sentences. The stream flows past you and continues deep into the void as the sentences and word dissolve and become meaningless. From your position as an observer, you can read each sentence aloud to yourself as they pass by. Listening to yourself it finally dawns on you that you are reading is what you think are your thoughts. You cannot stop the stream or the content that appears. There is no harm in just watching it flow past you. When you can close your eyes and stop observing the flow, you will have entered a state of meditation
8.) No matter how hard I try, things keep going wrong... Because of belief #6 (eliminate it)
9.) All of these bad things are happening because of what I am thinking.... Because you choose to believe that.
10.) I am still powerless to control it.... Again, You choose to believe you are powerless. Your experience will then reflect your belief. You will take this as confirmation of your belief. Perpetuating it!
11.) I have to prevent going into a negative frequency... Not possible. Imagine yourself riding a wild roller coaster, which is securely attached to a huge flatbed trailer truck. You cannot control or stop the roller coasters up, downs, and loop de loops. What you can do is try to keep the Truck and trailer moving uphill!
12.) It is supposed to be effortless.... Your experience with Law of Attraction has always been effortless for you until you learned about it. It has always been active in your life. Now that you know more about it, you are able to make it work in your favor. That will require effort until you have removed limiting beliefs and learned to let your emotions guide you rather than control you. If it were effortless, you would see a lot of people driving around town in Rolls Royce's and Lamborghini's amongst other things.
Final piece of advice. Stop over thinking about negative thinking. You draw to you that which you give your attention.
Yes everything is hard work. Even when we take a vacation from work, it is still hard work to enjoy the vacation!
You go to some theme park and have to see all the sites. You only have so much time so it's rushing here and there and trying to get back in time to make the bus ride back home.
So everything takes hard work, even relaxing is hard work.
answered 05 Apr '14, 03:50
Be a casual observer watching yourself be more positive and stop making work out of everything. Have fun observing yourself have fun and feel the fun that's it.
answered 03 Apr '15, 21:37
If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website