Hi there everyone. I hope someone can come up with some ideas and advice to help me with this. I have been working on moving up the Emotional Guidance Scale for some time now. The first step was to get in touch with emotions and be OK with feeling them and then starting to recognise and respond to them earlier and so on. I have released a lot of resistance and I continue to work through the stuff coming up and soothing and releasing using whatever method feels right (EFT, focus blocks, etc). I am not leaping up the scale, but that is OK as I am making slow and steady progress. So, all good.

Here is the problem area: very, very negative and self-defeating self-talk. And I know this is not helpful and I know I need to stop it and I know I am clinging to the old story and that is undermining my progress. I just can't stop doing it. It is almost like an addiction. It is worst in the morning and worries me a bit because it probably means that my emotional set-point has not shifted as much as I thought it had. I really thought I had moved up to a much more positive place.

I really need a plan to stop this horrible repeating litany of why things can't get better and how nothing is working. I have tried 'thought-stopping', shouting at myself, saying affirmations out loud, and so on and so forth. The thoughts just sit there and wait until I stop and then they take over again. It is usually worst while I am getting ready for work, so it is not possible for me to sit down and do a focus block or something like that because it waits until I am rushing through the shower and getting dressed and so on. I do a guided meditation first thing when I wake up so I am doing my best to start the day off on a positive note.

Some advice I have been given says to stop the thoughts, other advice says to allow it and be mindful of it. Honestly, I am at the point where I want a brain transplant :). I can't go on allowing the thoughts free reign because they are totally undermining me and I have real trouble stopping them once they build up momentum!

I hope you can help!

PS: I did think of not showering any more, but that has other consequences and I am not sure I am quite ready to take that step yet!

asked 30 Mar '15, 12:56

Antheia's gravatar image


edited 31 Mar '15, 06:31

IQ%20Moderator's gravatar image

IQ Moderator ♦♦

As you've noticed, once you have a "momentum of thought" going, it can get really hard to stop, especially if it is based on habitual thinking because you then have a fast-flowing "river of thought" established that can easily sweep you up in it - even if you only slightly dip your toe in it.

alt text

So the trick is always to shift the direction of the momentum before it gets established.

For most people, this is easiest after waking up in the morning or after a nap because in the period immediately after waking up you have a few moments of momentum-free thinking time available.

That is the time to jump in there and do your vibrational work, or listen to your uplifting recordings.

If you want to give yourself more of a chance of keeping that momentum-free period going longer then don't get out of bed immediately. Lie there for a while thinking pleasant thoughts or if you can't do that, try to think no thoughts at all (i.e. meditate, but while lying there in bed).

This approach will not change your life overnight but if you can keep it up morning-after-morning, you'll gradually become aware of (certainly within 30 days) a noticeable shift in your attitude during the day. And, you'll also notice the good-feeling momentum period lasting longer and longer into the day...until eventually it lasts pretty much all day...because that's a reflection of who you now have become.

As implied above, if you do find your thoughts running out-of-control during the day, just have a nap if possible (20 mins is enough) and you'll give yourself another chance at the momentum-free period on waking up again.


answered 31 Mar '15, 06:01

Stingray's gravatar image


@Stingray, thank you so much for replying. As I said above, I do a guided meditation every morning before getting up. And then the thoughts strike while I am getting ready for work. I have to get ready and get to work so I can't take a nap or do vibrational work right then. I do know I need to stop them before the momentum gets going and I just haven't been able to do that. Please, please - I would be so grateful for any ideas because I honestly can see how damaging this is. ...

(31 Mar '15, 07:00) Antheia

@Stingray ...It feels like an addiction and I am cross with myself because I managed to stop smoking through sheer force of will, so I don't know why I just cannot stop doing this.

(31 Mar '15, 07:02) Antheia

@Antheia - "I have to get ready and get to work so I can't...[snip]...do vibrational work right then" - There's your problem then. Meditation by itself does not shift vibrational setpoints. It just makes it more painful to hold onto bad-feeling ones. See Is meditation a cure-all?. If you meditate only, you're creating a momentum-free time but are not achieving any vibrational change regarding what's bothering you. If you are...

(31 Mar '15, 07:25) Stingray

@Antheia - ...unwilling to get up earlier then I would recommend replacing the meditation time with vibrational molding regarding what is bothering you.

(31 Mar '15, 07:28) Stingray

@Stingray, thank you again. Actually, I have made the time by getting up earlier to do the meditation - it is actually the paraliminal you suggested in another post. I felt that starting the day off with positive thoughts would be a good way to invest that time. And it is very do-able so early in the morning, so I have been able to do it consistently. I feel pretty good when I have done that meditation. The thought-storm starts a bit later, while I am rushing to get ready for work.

(31 Mar '15, 07:49) Antheia

@Antheia - I certainly wouldn't classify the Self-Esteem Supercharger paraliminal as meditation :) Listening to that morning after morning is going to make you very intolerant of being pushed around by anyone or anything which is why it's key to that bursting into anger and beyond process. Is your "thought-storm" perhaps related to some situation you are no longer willing to tolerate?

(31 Mar '15, 12:49) Stingray

@Stingray, sorry for the unclear description. The 'thought-storm' is like an internal 'conversation' with an imaginary person telling them all about why things are not working out and how they are not working out and how all this is too confusing and can't be done and how nothing is working out, and, and, and. It is not the same conversation all the time and it often starts with a question or a sort of 'explaining' a concept to myself. I really feel like the mad old woman muttering to herself...

(31 Mar '15, 15:40) Antheia

@Stingray... And it usually starts off innocently enough (as in the question example I mentioned) and then escalates. I hadn't thought of the issue of becoming more intolerant of being pushed around so I will go and have a look at that again.

(31 Mar '15, 15:43) Antheia

Thanks for the reminder @stingray! I notice a big difference during the day when I focus on feeling good in the morning.

(31 Mar '15, 19:37) Inner Beauty

@stingray whats your morning routine like?

(08 Apr '15, 21:51) freedomdude

@freedomdude - "whats your morning routine like?" - Most of it wouldn't be relevant to people here. But this is the cornerstone of it... The 30-Day Vortex Challenge except it's every day, not just for 30 :) Can't say it enough: If all anyone did was put in the time and effort to master a technique to get Vortex-aligned at least once every single day (and it gets easier as time goes on), it would transform every aspect of their lives :)

(09 Apr '15, 03:24) Stingray
showing 2 of 11 show 9 more comments

I have been where you are, and I understand just how awful it feels. I have changed my thinking so completely that when the tipping point came, and my new habit of thought was steeped in love and acceptance of myself, I really was a little fuzzy on the details of the way my mind had been working just a few days before. I hope that makes sense, it's hard to explain. Suffice to say, it's a radical change. The great news is that it has stuck with me. Whatever else I may still be working on, that part of my journey is done. I love me now. ;)

If there was one tool that worked more than any other for me, it was the repeated listening to positive messages from Abraham. I would play the meditations cd from beginning to end whenever I could, and every night as I went to sleep. I would find workshop videos on YouTube and just keep them running whenever possible, and most especially when I felt hopeless about ever being able to change the way I talked to myself, and the painful life experience that stemmed from it.

It didn't really matter if I paid close attention or not. I did pay attention to my breath and a 15 minute meditation once a day, but the rest of the time I just let the words and loving messages float around me and find their own way in. I let it all love on me like a lullaby, like being lovingly cuddled to sleep. In fact, I still do that, especially when I feel a little fragile. :)

The phrases and ideas, the truths and the love eventually sank into my mind. Then, if I told myself I was a worthless piece of junk, etc., the contridicting truth would just crop right up automatically in my mind. I would hang onto to it, recognizing it as truth and revelling in it as long as I could, enjoying the sensation of alignment.

It's all about mental habit for me. The vicious words I habitually used on myself were always close at hand through years of constant repetition. Anything positive regarding myself sounded forced and false to me. If you've been talking to yourself as cruelly as I used to for so many years, it's probably all you know. Your vocabulary just isn't equipped for self respect and love. Add Abraham's powerful, simple words, phrases, and loving messages to your lexicon, and you rise above the nonsense of self-loathing. And believe me, I am a self-trained expert on self-loathing! If I can change, honestly, anyone can. :)

Remember, what you listen to matters. Whatever you focus on grows. Grow truth about your wonderful, powerful, light-filled, blindingly beautiful self, and enjoy the good feelings that come with this alignment with who you really are.

Love, Grace



answered 12 Apr '15, 14:04

Grace's gravatar image



@Grace, thank you so much for this beautiful reply. It helps an awful lot to hear that I am not the only one and that it can change. I am doing better this week and I am just letting that be OK for now. Thank you again so much.

(13 Apr '15, 04:33) Antheia

@Antheia - You are very welcome. I'm glad you found value in it. I know that it can seem impossible to significantly change your thoughts, and to do it genuinely, rather than just force yourself to say things to yourself that you don't believe. I wanted to let you know that you can definitely do this. And it's fun! :)

(13 Apr '15, 11:27) Grace

@Grace Thank you very much for sharing. Your advice is really help and touching. I am fighting with it too and now I am hopeful that I can conquer myself as you did. Could you please suggest some videos/audios that you have used when you meditate or make you feel better? Thank you so much

(05 May '15, 00:27) MrMushroom

@MrMushroom - You're very welcome, I'm glad you liked. :) The meditations I mentioned are the four Getting Into the Vortex Meditations that I purchased from the Abraham-Hicks website. They are also still available for free on YouTube as far as I know...

(05 May '15, 03:01) Grace

... I use one of the the meditations each morning after I do a Placemat, Focus Blocks, some affirmations and Positive Aspects and sometimes play Wouldn't It Be Nice If? or a reach for a Rampage of Appreciation. (All of which i learned here and can be found by searching this site.) ...

(05 May '15, 03:04) Grace

... I have described my routine and posted some links in my answer here: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/81277/what-does-my-recent-illness-say-about-the-condition-of-my-soul#81281 if you're interested. ... The videos I referred to I found by just searching YouTube for anything Abraham-Hicks. It's all good. :D I hope that helps...

(05 May '15, 03:04) Grace

... Just one more thing I wanted to mention; a very important point. As @Tom said - don't "fight" these thoughts. It just gives them energy and will bring you more of the same kind of thoughts to fight with. Acknowledge the thoughts you don't prefer, and replace them with the loving truth.

(05 May '15, 03:06) Grace
showing 2 of 7 show 5 more comments

Personally, I find that when you feel so much negative momentum, it can be very difficult to do any kind of vibrational work that has to do with thinking (especially if you are not very skilled with those kind of tools yet).

So my emergency methods for those times were the ones that don't require much skills and thinking. Here are my favorite methods for "hard times" and extremely chaotic subjects.

All you need to do is to follow your bad feeling energies within your body (which comes easier than thinking good feeling thoughts in those times) until you feel huge relief. You really feel like a huge burden has lifted off after each session.

It can be quite counter-intuitive to do these methods first though. Because we usually don't follow the path of extremely bad feeling energies in our bodies. We rather tend to avoid them and put a happy sticker on them until they get bigger and bigger.

But if you are willing to try it, you will see for yourself that it can be a powerful method. Just lie in bed and do that for 1-2 hours every day. You don't have to think, just follow the simple instructions of those methods.

And once you feel much better after a few days, you can then do the methods that require thinking. They'll make much more sense then.


answered 31 Mar '15, 08:05

releaser99's gravatar image



@releaser99, thank you so much. I am definitely going to have a look at those techniques.

(31 Mar '15, 09:05) Antheia

Thanks for this reminder, @releaser99 - I frequently forget that it's useful to sit with the body sensation of the emotion I'm freaking out about. Once I drop into a gloomier vibrational range, that feeling of "I should push this feeling away!" becomes so persuasive. Ah, brains....

(02 Apr '15, 13:09) corduroypower

Do not work at this! Gently acknowledge you can not fight you thoughts with your brain. Gently Grab the steering wheel and guide to more positive thoughts. If you acomplished Any thing positive lately, remind yourself how wonderful you are


answered 30 Mar '15, 17:19

Tom's gravatar image


Thank you for the comment @Tom. Here is the thing, though, if it was just a few negative thoughts that would be fine, but this is out of control, momentum-building thinking. Gently trying to steer it or accepting it has not worked. So the only way I can see to get anywhere with this is to stop the thoughts before the momentum builds to the point where I can't stop it any more, and I am not managing to do that.

(31 Mar '15, 04:26) Antheia

The only way to cope with where you are now is to realise that ultimately nothing matters - including what happens in your life, my life, or the lives of anyone else in this forum.

Nothing matters. Nothing is important.

Once you realise this, you will stop worrying about what thoughts you are thinking or what happens in your life, and instead just go wherever life is taking you. If you don't like where it's taking you - tough. You can try fighting it, but you will always lose. You can't win this fight. Your opponent is someone who cannot be defeated - not by you anyway (but you are welcome to try :-). The trick therefore is to surrender and ensure you no longer have an opponent. That's the only way you can win this game - by not having an opponent in the first place.

Forget about manifestation for the time being. Chasing manifestation without learning to surrender will keep you in the jail you are already in. Be an expert on surrender first.

And of course, none of this is important either.


answered 31 Mar '15, 17:31

cod2's gravatar image


edited 31 Mar '15, 17:55


Nothing is something worth doing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tow8WBuX1wc

(03 Apr '15, 07:31) ursixx

is it really that nothing matter or is important? or is it that every thing matter and is important? or is it to have the wisdom to find out what matter and is important and to not loose your time with what is not important and does not matter and in this way finding your proper balance? I take the last one.

(05 May '15, 06:34) white tiger
showing 1 of 2 show 1 more comments

The more you resist [fight] the negative internal dialogue the more momentum it gains, I've gone through this myself and this went on for quite some time. Suppressing it only allows it to come back again and again, and there's that momentum again, you must allow it to dissolve on it's own, and it can get very uncomfortable with the practice of allowing and letting go, but trying to put a stop to it will be futile to say the least and the worst time to use affirmations is when the negative internal dialogue is running rampant, they're just useless when you feel bad. The idea is to tip the scales and make a conscious decision to focus on the more positive aspects of your life [appreciation] and build the positive momentum from there ''allowing'' the internal dialogue to do as it will, the trick is to not buy into it's false negative dialogues by not being emotionally attached or affected by it's pull, easier said than done?, with practicing the art of letting go and allowing, the negative internal dialogue begins to lose it's hold on you while you focus more on the more positive aspects of your life, building up the positive momentum making THAT your dominant focus and vibration, thus allowing the negative momentum to weaken and run it's course. One more thing to consider that will help you, all this negative internal dialogue is not the REAL you, it's all lies and once you choose not to buy into it's false negative dialogue, it'll begin to lose it's grip and have no affect on you no matter how loud it screams at you, Godspeed!


answered 16 May '15, 16:32

Kreatr's gravatar image


Thank you so much! Wish it wasn't so hard though.

(16 May '15, 16:48) Antheia

Hang in there, it DOES get easier.

(18 May '15, 23:08) Kreatr

from where does the dialogue
come, which of my seven rules,
open it to all before
accepting the pout


answered 14 Apr '15, 20:11

fred's gravatar image



Dearest @fred,would be nice if you would share the other 6 . A wiki-post?

(07 May '15, 03:01) ursixx

@ursixx - "A wiki-post?" - In @fred's case, it would need to be wiki poetry :)

(07 May '15, 04:46) Stingray

ursixx, once you ask if he believed there is truth. he sees a nature of man as a septenary combinataion in rank order of primariness. know yourself before accepting what we today call depression

(07 May '15, 17:18) fred

stingray, human experience is
circular with infinite

(07 May '15, 17:22) fred
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

you cannot stop a though that is impossible. any one that have truly meditated can tell you this. you can slow your though and emotion down to observe it see why it is like it is understand it see if you made a mistake or some one else made a mistake and if so for what reason understand it make a better choice to not fall in that error again. once what bothers you is understand and solve it will settle down and go to its proper place.

though and emotion are some time also linked and do not agree on the same subject. you see the mind is logical and the heart deals with emotion. some time the mind is in error and sometime the heart is in error. it is the cause of many division and darkness in this world.

that you suppress it or ignore it only foul your self. to give you example: if you would see a person making a mistake lets say parking is car on a hill and not putting the parking brake on a standard car. later on the cop call him describing is car and asking him if it belong to him. of course he say: yes. then they tell him that it is going to cost him money because he forgot to put the arm brake. then he deny it saying: that he did not forget to put it and it must be a mechanical problem. the cop give him a chance and tell him to make sure that is arm brake is on it next time. the next time he does the same thing again and forget to put the arm brake on except this time the car his going down the hill toward him, and he is saying: that damn car must have a mechanical problem again. again not wanting to see that he forgot it again. the last time he told a lie and could not accept is error and decided to suppress it and ignore it. and now that car is running after him coming down that hill. he as just the time to get out of the way before the car crash in a pole on the side of the street. then he hurry to get in the car and to move away to make like this did not happen. according to you what will happen next time? will he forget to put is arm brake on? or will he make sure to have it on? do you think he understood is problem? or do you think that he does not want to see it and correct is error?

then we will say that he as two friend one is Leonard a very logical person and Brenda a very emotional person. both of them want to help him with is problem but they do not agree Leonard say: it as already happen twice that he forgot to put is arm brake it will happen again he always forget it and do not want to see is error. he should find away to solve this right now before it happens again. and if he is not able to solve is problem he should sell is car and take the cab.

Brenda say: yes it is terrible what as happen but he is a good person it is just a error it will not happen again and it would devastate him if you told him that he is a liar to himself and other and that he should solve is problem or should sell is car and take the cab. he only lie because it would hurt him and make him feel responsible.

according to you who are Leonard and Brenda? or what do they represent?

how can Leonard and Brenda perfectly agree together to help him?

you see Leonard is logical and Brenda is emotional. each of them seek to help and protect him.one on the matter of the mind and the other on the matter of the heart. will also say that if they lie to him they are not helping him at all.


answered 17 May '15, 06:39

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 17 May '15, 07:23

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