I am 43 yrs old and last November I was diagnosed with Chiari Malformation 1. Lower part of my brain is pushing down in spinal column and obstructing the movement of cerebrospinal fluid.
Because of this obstruction lesions known as syrinx are likely to form on brain and or spinal column causing permanent brain damage or paralysis. I have severe headaches, motor skill and memory problems. I been in bed since 14 with chronic fatigue only out of bed with stimulants.
Now I have my diagnosis and my physical health and symptoms are getting worse. I know It's silly but I was still hoping for a life to be more functional than this and work.
I feel like my life was taken and now I must go thru brain damage or paralysis. I have no family or friends support.
I think the most humane thing would be to end my life I have suffered too long but worried someone how my spirit/soul will be even more screwed some how.
And I tried many years God is not healing me. Is there anything out there that would make a difference and heal my brain? Or is it time for me to accept there was no life for me.
asked 10 Oct '17, 07:04
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well, i think i know exactly what you're talking about, cause in my past i've been through this too. i got sick and left alone or felt alone - doesnt matter... and thats actually how i was introduced with the law of attraction.
im healthy now .
so , always my main belife was - if the desease came from nowhere , then something here isnt logical to me. i was born healthy so that means that I MUST!!! MUST!!! be health now too, and just find why it DID happen. (i wish i had that perception on other stuff :) geuss i really wanted it) see, i just could'nt accept this reality of me being sick. it was ALAWAYS past in my perception no matter what my body went through (and it went through some horrible stuff). i remember i broke my teeth and all my body hurt one day and i was completely dizzy, but i just didnt care - it was me or the desease - everyone around was in panic, exept for me...so focused. i went by a taxi to a dentist (i didnt care about all people waiting in line, geuss i didnt saw them i just wanted my theeth) and from there went straight to work - smiling!!! cause i won! cause im not paralized by this. cause im not a poor victum. and i can do what i want and actually - im healthy and just needed a little theth fix. im trying to explain the feelings i had and the focus so you understand.
desease can defenetly be paralizing and isolating - but its a choice we make. it feels like we did nothing for it to happen, and everyone are egotistical, etc... know that every time you feel paralized - you are indeed that. and helping your desease to grow. and everytime you feel isolated - you are that - and helping your desease to do that to you.
separate yourself from your body. you are NOT your body. your body is YOURS. if you want be extreem and kill it in your imagination and grow another one every night. just kill it. its yours you can do whatever you want with it. but your soul is free and asking you to be free and to move and to talk to people. so do it. ignore your desease like everybody else does - they must be right . keep treat it good, keep the madication etc. but ignor the sides effects. if you cant ignore your desease other people cant too, and walk away from you. you look at your self as the SIKNESS while you ignore yourself. therfore - focuse on your soul and ignore the desease. if no one feel sorry for you - maby you souldnt too. (dont be hard on yourself , and dont be hard on the desease, just ignore it - its not there!!) i really know it works! not in a day or a week... but it works.
thank you for your question. you helped me remember some things about myself and i ectually really needed that today :)
answered 10 Oct '17, 13:32
Thank you for pouring out your concerns here- this takes tremendous courage, being that vulnerable, and I am very touched that you would ask us.
I have heard time and time again that as deliberate creators, we can influence, but we can't control. In other words, we live by putting out the thoughts that we want to the universe, and then fully accepting that whatever reality the universe brings back is the appropriate one right now, no matter what it is.
In other words, decide that your condition is a blessing, and then convince yourself. Gather the evidence. Try on that perspective like a glove. Affirm it. Make yourself confident that whatever comes from your situation will be good.
I am picking up while writing this that neither brain damage nor paralysis will come to pass and it is simply a fear you will need to work through, possibly involving that you learn to trust yourself more than physicians and other established authorities, and I am also picking up that in your stronger moments you already know this.
I suggest using the fear to uncover the parts of you that may need healing, asking questions like, what would I need to believe to feel this? Or focus on the feeling and just listen to the negative thoughts that get spewed out- and when some relaxation comes from the spewing, start affirming the positive opposite.
Your situation is good, because you are being challenged to convince yourself of your health of your own accord, and when you do, you will realize that there was no danger of illness (of this kind) in the first place. You can still talk to medical examiners, but you won't have to take their opinion at face value any more, and you can pick and chose them, like anything else.
answered 10 Oct '17, 12:43
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I have a question for you! - If whatever answers or suggestions come up shortly for you, are you in a state of being willing and bold enough to actually impliment, experiment and fairly trial the suggestions for a substaintial period of time before ruling any out as "oh well Ive already tried that doesnt work"?
If your attention is pure to play with the ideas, then you will gain as much benefit from them as necessary for your situation.
i am objective enough to try something again. However I have a serious problem with adding anything new to my daily routine. I do basic things and then the day is done. I only got to trying to use stove this year.