my wife always talks and thinks negatively, how to change her attitude or thinking?

asked 05 Apr '11, 15:08

ann2's gravatar image


edited 05 Apr '11, 15:12

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

YOU CANT! i feel for you and understand exactly what you are going through. my wife is also in a negative mindset, hers comes from fear. she has extreme anxiety and fear . all of her childhood and the issues with my son and my years of disconnection all contributed to this. you cannot change someone else, to quote my source TReb Bor yit-NE says "you must not try to change ones ways, you will never change ones mind as they cannot yours, even if it is done with respect, when you try to change ones heart, you are trying to change all that they are, even if you are trying to "better them", you are only really enslaving them, you are making them a slave to what they are not truly ready for and if you TRULY love and respect them,you will not do this " what i can tell you is i have helped her start to make her own changes. i was fortunate enough to have my source talk to her and just seeing that i can communicate with him was enough to get her attention, but a lot of my personal changes showed her how much happier i was. this self betterment shows all people who are unhappy with themselves that if you can do the great change they can too. the natural raising of your vibration will start to affect them by them seeing your change, if that makes sense lol! the best advise is to talk to them suggest things but mostly SHOW them how small changes in yourself can make GREAT changes. no one wants to live in fear and negativity! also if she is like my wife when she starts complaining about something you see as trivial , do not make small of it because everyone is allowed their own feelings and emotions, BUT what you can do is explain how you see it, example if she is upset by the child getting in trouble than you show her how you see the positive side, say "well at least they learned from this experiance and it will help them make better decisions, or they are doing that because they need more time with us so lets go to the park" show her that what she sees as negative that every time you can find the positivity in this situation!! this kind of thinking IS contagious !!! i hope this has helped you! :-) love n light, rob


answered 05 Apr '11, 15:59

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

edited 20 Jan '14, 23:50

When I try to 'lecture' my son about being positive and how to think and behave, it seems to push him away, like a splinter getting pushed deeper in when you try to pull it out. However, when I demonstrate what I want him to learn just by being it and doing it, that is when it rubs off on him. He really does pay attention and then he asks me questions. So I guess the idea is to be the light and let her decide to come to you. Or she just might change spontaneously without asking you, just watching. I am a single mother, so I have no spouse to compare it to, only my son. It is amazing how much we become like the ones we live with regardless of relation. So you be the influence and don't be influenced by the negative. When my son goes to see his friends, I remind him to be the influence. He doesn't need to come home with the bad behaviors of his friends. His friends' parents always appreciate his behavior and influence on their sons, so I know he is learning good things. That's all you can do is be the influence, not the lecturer.


answered 05 Apr '11, 17:13

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

I agree Juniper, I read a story someplace of a woman who had a son that had naked girl pictures all over his wall. The mother put up this big beautiful picture of Jesus right in the middle, without taking anything else down she said there that looks better. She came in his room the next day the only picture that was on the wall was Jesus. She asked her son "what happened to the other pictures?", he said "The other pictures just didn't look right with Jesus in the middle so I decided to throw them out."

(06 Apr '11, 04:40) Wade Casaldi

LOL Wade, that's funny!

(06 Apr '11, 04:45) Fairy Princess

I agree you can only be an example in your own behaviour. If you raise your own vibrations people around you will be drawn upwards too by it if they are open to it and you can hold it.

It's a very often used quote, but Gandhi's "be the change you wish to see in the world" is useful I think in situations like this. I know that's not necessarily immediate or 'practical' enough but these things do take practice and time.


answered 05 Apr '11, 16:22

aquamarine's gravatar image


she may have a better answer for what life is all about, encourage her to share it with you


answered 05 Apr '11, 22:58

fred's gravatar image


There is a saying you can take a horse to the pond but you cannot force him to drink from the pond, but if you model the behavior of drinking from the pond, hopefully he will see you doing it, and he will do it also! It is the case of Monkey see, Monkey do!

So, it your job to model the positive behavior you expect from your wife, to your wife, and what you do around her will impact upon her life, and your life as well! You are her role model, so be her role model!


answered 06 Apr '11, 04:29

Inactive%20User's gravatar image

Inactive User ♦♦

I had a conversation with my wife last night ( a rare one on this matter) and she absolutely believes that God will not answer all prayers and that manifestation will only occur when in her words " we meet God half way"

She certainly doesnt believe the " ask and it is given doctrine".

However she did tell me that she would believe when she saw proof. I went on to explain that your meant to believe "BEFORE" you see a physical manifestation.

We ended up agreeing to differ.I thanked her for her input,told her a respected her views and went to sleep!

I think the only way we can change people attitude is to stick to our guns and allow the power of God to flow in and thru us.

Talks cheap and the worlds full of it.

The worlds crying out for manifestation and practical applications to a firm belief in Gods willingness to help us.

Results not blah blah is the way forward i think.



answered 06 Apr '11, 08:18

Monty%20Riviera's gravatar image

Monty Riviera

Don't try it. It will not work. All you can do is show her by example. Words mean nothing when it comes to a belief. The legs of history have to be taken away and restructured. Then replaced by new legs set by example, then you might have a chance at a new belief, but It still won't be easy.


answered 21 Jan '14, 19:30

The%20Knights%20Alchemy's gravatar image

The Knights Alchemy

In all relationships there're always a vibrational match ... your wife's mindset is a vibrational match for yours otherwise you wouldn't be together and for her mindset to change your own mindset must also change, so you can indirectly change her mindset by changing your own.

Changing your own mindset means getting rid of the idea that "i'm who i am and she's who she is (in this case you perceive her as being negative)", and question what you yourself believe. It's all about changing the basic presumptions that you hold about yourself, her and the relationship

alt text

"Always remember deep in your heart that all is well and everything is unfolding as it should. There are no mistakes anywhere, at anytime. What appears to be wrong is your own false imagination. Perfection knows nothing about wrong or right, good and bad, happy and sad. It knows only itself as Perfection. And you are That." - Robert Adams

Update - "Five ways to change someone else's mind"

  1. Be sincere and truthful. Don't be manipulative.

  2. Appeal to what someone else already believes. Don't impose your own belief system.

  3. Be aware of the other person's blind spots. Don't assume they are open-minded.

  4. In general, persuade through reason, not emotion. Don't assume that emotions aren't in play, however.

  5. Make the other person feel right. Don't make them feel wrong.


answered 24 Jan '14, 13:45

jaz's gravatar image


edited 29 Jan '14, 00:37

you can't the person needs to do the change them self! last solution hypnotism you could try it!


answered 05 May '11, 00:22

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

Divorce her and move on.


answered 23 May '11, 00:14

Shemp%20Howard's gravatar image

Shemp Howard

You can't. It is her mind and she has the right to think as she wants. The only thing you can change is how you SEE and RESPOND TO her thinking.

If you feel negative after hearing her speak, you need to figure out why you respond that way and how not to let her thinking or words to effect you in that way.

Take back your power, don't depend on all others to think in a way that makes you happy.


answered 24 Jan '14, 10:49

arpgme's gravatar image


The frequency may be of a lower vibrational resonance than yours, but your wife is excercising her Free Will to experience the frequency she is most in tune with. We are all expansions of Source Energy. Be appreciative that we are not all on the same channel; as being so would be a very dull experience, indeed! :o) Though such can be painful, the eternal consciousness that incarnates into the vehicle of a human being loves drama, scenarios, and conflict. Without such we would not learn or experience; we would be non-physical entities again; drifting and existing vicariously.


answered 30 Jan '14, 11:19

TGunn's gravatar image


Click here to create a free account

If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website

Related Questions