Is meanness a trait one is born with? Why do some people find it so hard to be generous?

asked 01 Jul '10, 07:30

Tisca's gravatar image


It's either learned from one's parents or extended family, or adopted as a mindset later in life due to some hardship that was too much for one to handle: e.g. prison, divorce, big disappointment, job loss, abuse and etc. It's a shame there are so many mean people!


answered 01 Jul '10, 12:18

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

I don't think any of us are born mean but because of the circumstances and environment we grow up in we adopt an attitude of meanness.

When we've been taught and conditioned that there's a lack or not enough and we have to work hard to make ends meet, then we begin to hold what we do acquire very close and we become afraid to share or give to others because there may not be enough left for us.

When we begin to look at this limited belief and start to realize that the world is in fact a place of abundance, we start to loosen the stranglehold and open ourselves to the possibility that when we are generous and can give with an open heart, we end up getting so much more in return.

We begin to realize that giving and receiving is part of the natural flow of the Universe - when we are in harmony with this flow our life becomes a natural part of it and giving and receiving becomes an integral part of our life.

Generosity is part of our nature and I believe it is inherent in every human being at birth. However, often we unlearn this and replace it with a new learning of scarcity and meanness. Irregardless of where we are at or how our life looks, that generous spirit is always there, we just have to address those limited mean beliefs and work on moving them out of the way and our natural giving spirit will manifest without any effort because at the core of our being we are all generous spirits.


answered 01 Jul '10, 13:40

Michaela's gravatar image


WHAT IF...... What if the problem is a result of a polarity based system of manifestation? What if everything comes out of a state of nothing to something that is kept in balance with polarity? What if for every "good" an equal and opposite of that "good" A.K.A "BAD" is automatically thrust as the balance point? What if because of this, every time someone desires to be a good person, an automatic un-realized potential of a bad person is thrust into potential manifestation, waiting for a volunteer to fill that role? What if the "meaning" behind the act is far more responsible for our evil than the act itself?

A nut-job is about to kill some school kids but a police officer shoots first & kills the psychopath. What just happened? It was a murder. But it was a good murder, because the bad guy died. On one side of the equation the intent was evil, and on the other side it was good. So was the act of killing bad or was the intent behind the murder bad? Will the cop suffer remorse for murdering a human and saving the lives of the school children?

I think a person trying to be good constantly suffers from the temptation of the bad as a result of the extreme polarity in consciousness of trying to be good. Consequently a person justifying being completely bad suffers from the absence of good within them because the extreme polarity will create a constant tension of the absence of good within them. This is no to say that in either case, the other doesn't exist. Both states always exist within all of us but the balance point has been shifted to one extreme creating an internal imbalance.

Self examination on a constant basis seems to create a tendency towards a middle ground of acceptance of both bad and good within us. Seen in their proper perspective, they are lessons. Our fear of acknowledging the evil within us is very similar to our fear of making a mistake. Making a mistake is when we learn something. But we can never become someone who will never make a mistake.


answered 01 Jul '10, 15:56

The%20Traveller's gravatar image

The Traveller

edited 01 Jul '10, 16:02

A thought provoking answer - I'll have to digest it for a while.

(02 Jul '10, 01:58) Michaela

????? "Good murder" ?????

(03 Jul '10, 23:54) Gleam

Hi Gleam. The juxtaposition of those two words is intentional. Glad you caught it!

(04 Jul '10, 15:11) The Traveller
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