I let my dog out yesterday. Immediately, he began to bark at a neighbor kid who was outside, goofing around with a rifle. This kid immediately turned to my dog and said, "If you bark at me again, I will shoot you."
Luckily, I was standing right inside the door, and despite being in a nightgown, I stepped out onto the deck, and just stared at the kid, totally incredulous. I know, from the tone of that kid's voice, that he really meant what he said.
This kid saw me, flipped up a finger, and then went into a kneeling position, and treated my dog and I to a series of rifle shots- his target appeared to be an old car; I think he wanted me to see that he could shoot well. This kid is about thirteen, and in junior high...
The whole experience left me shuddering. I then began to wonder about meanness and cruelty.
Please help me to understand....
Blessings to all this Christmas Eve 2009, Jaianniah
asked 24 Dec '09, 13:40
Barry Allen ♦♦
showing 0 of 5 show 5 more comments
The quick answer as to why people are mean to each other is that it feels better than being depressed.
There you have it all in one sentence....next question please. Hmmm, on second thoughts...maybe I should explain a bit more. :)
Take at look at this emotional scale from Abraham.
This is not meant to be a complete list of every emotion that exists but it is meant to be rough guidance as to the relative empowering feelings of different emotions. It is a scale of self-empowerment.
As you travel up the scale towards Joy, you feel more empowered. As you move down the scale to Fear, you feel less empowered.
Here is the interesting thing that lies at the heart of so much violence, anger, meanness, hatred etc in society...
Look at numbers 20, 21, 22 (Fear, Insecurity, Jealousy). Now look at numbers 19, 18, 17 (Hatred, Revenge, Anger).
Isn't it true that we all feel better being angry than being depressed? The reason for this, as I mentioned, is because you feel more empowered.
Now look at the other interesting thing about this scale. If you are feeling Fear, Insecurity or Jealousy, you cannot reach the better-feeling emotions beyond anger (16 to 1) without going through the region of Anger/Hatred/Revenge.
Let me repeat that again because it so, so, so important.
You cannot go from depression and fear to feeling better without going through some kind of anger.
Contemplate this for a while and you will know it to be true in your own life. The period of anger doesn't have to be long and it doesn't have to be physically expressed but it must be there.
It can be as short as thinking to yourself...That's it. I've had enough of being pushed around or Right, they are going to pay for that...or ideas along those lines. In that moment of anger, you have now opened the door to moving up beyond anger in that emotional scale. These are not nice thoughts but they are self-empowering thoughts and there is really no way to avoid them if you want to permanently feel better.
Anger/Revenge/Hatred are the first steps to re-empowering yourself when you are in the region of Fear/Insecurity/Jealousy.
And if you think about it, isn't it the case that Fear/Insecurity/Jealousy are just inward-directed forms of anger rather than outward-directed forms?
Now let's look at this scale from the upper side and consider what happens if you are, say, emotionally hanging around Disappointment/Doubt/Worry, which are emotions above Anger/Revenge/Hatred.
What happens if you are worried and then something happens to you to make you feel worse?
Well, drop down from Worry enough and you hit that range of Anger/Revenge/Hatred again.
Haven't you known people who are worried about something and then when you ask them what they are worried about, they get angry and lash out at you?
Now you know why. Your reminder to them of their problems has caused them to feel worse at that moment and they've now hit that Anger/Revenge/Hatred range and they are taking it out on you just because you happen to be there at the time.
Can you see something here interesting here? ...it's not about you, it's about them.
With all this background in mind, let's look again at the life situation that happened to you and see if we can more clearly understand this behavior.
You had a 13-year-old teenager who was sparked into Anger/Revenge/Hatred by the sound of your dog barking.
We have two options to consider now.
He was either in the Fear/Insecurity/Jealousy range and the barking was the final straw for him and he burst upwards into Anger/Revenge/Hatred.
Or, he was hanging around Disappointment/Doubt/Worry/Blame/Discouragement and the barking made him feel worse and he dropped down to that Anger/Revenge/Hatred range.
Notice something important here. Neither of these reactions is about you or your dog. It was about him trying to feel better within himself.
Anger/Revenge/Hatred acts as a barrier to us dropping down permanently into Depression if we start from above it, and it acts as a self-empowering springboard to better feelings if we are starting from below it.
Note that I am not saying his actions were right or wrong. But I am saying that maybe you can understand more clearly now why he behaved that way...
...and maybe that will make you feel better. :)
answered 26 Dec '09, 09:12
Beautiful analysis of inner emotional dynamics.
(07 Jun '10, 13:43) Gleam
"You cannot go from depression and fear to feeling better without going through some kind of anger." But what when while being depressed, my best friend takes me to a cinema to a great comedy (I like the Naked Gun best), we laugh a lot and eventually I feel better?
(07 Jul '10, 22:33) Asklepios
I'm talking about dominant thoughts here, attitudes that have embodied who you are predominantly on a day-by-day basis, not what you feel once in a while. You don't strike me as someone who lives dominantly in fear and depression.
(08 Jul '10, 05:52) Stingray
Oh dear - looks like I've got a long way to go on that scale.
(23 Jun '11, 17:05) Raoul
You know, Stingray...I never really thanked you for this wonderful and wise answer. I guess it got caught up in the Christmas Hoopla of 2009. I want to apologize to you, for this answer has given me the key in this time (August 4, 2011) to many things that have always puzzled me about people and their behavior...especially my own! You will probably see a posting soon asking a question about Abraham's chart. At least I had the sense enough to give you best answer...;o)Thanks and Blessings, >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
(04 Aug '11, 11:01) Jaianniah
No need to apologize for anything, Jai. I'm glad you've found some value in the answer this time around :)
(04 Aug '11, 18:56) Stingray
@Stingray- When is it about them and when is it about us attracting them? Thanks
(12 Mar '12, 09:13) Fairy Princess
@Fairy Princess - What you get is always about you - no exceptions ever. If they were the "nastiest" person on Earth but you weren't a vibrational match to that, you would attract different behavior out of them. If they didn't have the vibrational range within themselves to match up to your improved vibration, they would not enter your reality or would vanish from it if they were already there.
(12 Mar '12, 09:56) Stingray
showing 2 of 8 show 6 more comments
Quite simply put, people are mean because, on some level, they are hurting and are not in alignment with who they really are. They lash out and try to project that hurt on to someone else in the hope that they will feel better, when really all they are doing is exacerbating that inner discontent within themselves. Hard as it is to do, when someone comes across as mean, say a prayer for them because they're really not in a feel good place and are probably unaware of why they are acting the way they are. You cannot act mean with Awareness.
Unfortunately, as LeeAnn pointed out, kids can only do what they are taught and until they are taught otherwise or awaken to who they really are, they will continue to act out their 'meanness'.
Just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Merry Christmas!!! Hope you have a happy, healthy, prosperous and 'enlightened' year in 2010!!!
answered 24 Dec '09, 19:03
Thank you you have a very Merry Christmas as we3ll Michaela and a enlightened and happy year in 2010.
(25 Dec '09, 10:15) flowingwater
One of the dogs we adopted was shot and abandoned...now doing pretty well, so I know this very subject preys on my mind as well. Some kids are brought up in homes where the value of an animal life means nothing to them and to kill is sport. This is sad, but this is what their parents teach them and is the familial culture. Why? Good question. I think it's like child abuse in that it is passed from one generation to another often times. I also remember from my criminal justice classes in college that nearly all serial killers began with cruelty to animals. Some of those folks came from normals homes and their case, something went wrong in childhood or infancy to damage them.
But why are people mean to each other? Selfishness, preoccupation, needing to win, lack of compassion. Wow, there are so many reasons one can be mean and selfish; either momentarily or most of the time, as some are.
OK, seems as I write that I have not many answers, but I vented, so I will see what others have to say now!
Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate the holiday.
answered 24 Dec '09, 14:51
For some reason, I really resonated with your answer...even though you said you were wandering! Thanks for the FB info- will friend you. Blessings and...finally...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!! (2009) Jaianniah
(24 Dec '09, 17:56) Jaianniah
Well, why are people mean I am going to give a answer that some will think is not right because we manifest our own reality which is true but other people are manifesting their according to what they think and speak.
I have always heard they someone who will kill animals a lot will kill humans they are depraved down to the root level of their bones and maybe into their souls.
Yes, their are some where someone has been real mean to them. Or they are trained to be mean and bad if not than they are beaten. Than there are those that are just born that way maybe a curse past on down to future generations.
Now, this is true as well their are some who are prosessed by devils or demons or some other enitity that don't care anything about humans at all and wants to destroy humans and what ever body they occupy.
I have had neighbors kill my dogs who they have grown up around and intentionly kill them and they would watch over the neighborhood and protect them as well.
Some people think they are protect their children from your dogs especially if the children are small. Some people can't stand it if your dog comes over into their yard. Soem can't stand your dog barking. Maybe your dog sometimes cause attention to what they are doing they might think.
I don't know I can not dare go inside some of these mean, hateful, evil, spiteful, and he seems to be sending you a warning as to what he will or want to do.
First of all I would turn this person over to the Lord Jesus Christ and let him handle him. Next I would start speaking about my neighbor who has this gun likes my dog and him and his family are now moving away from here to somewhere else.
I have not tried this about the speaking but I have taken them to Jesus.
Have a very Merry and Happy Christmas to those who celebrate Christmas and a very happy, properous, and peaceful year of 2010. Jesus said if we will ask him to heal the land and all than he would so let pray for a healing of the land,air, water, food, and the people's hearts and fill the people's heart with love for one another and good health to all.
answered 25 Dec '09, 10:36
Glad to see you're back interacting with us.
(26 Dec '09, 01:55) Michaela
I was glad to be back and than I was out again but I think I am back for a while now. I enjoy the questions, answers and comments. The interactions with one another is great for the most part and we all learn from one another for sometimes we are seeing or speaking from a different point of view or prospective that maybe the other has not thought about. We all are learning, we all have gifts, and have gathered information;we all can add or delete information to our own library as we choose. So thank you for your comment glad to be back this time Michaela. I hope to interact for quite a while.
(11 Jan '10, 02:24) flowingwater
this question assumes that people are mean to each other...if meanness manifests itself in your reality, it is your belief system that makes it do so.
answered 04 Aug '11, 05:08
Ignorance, and a lack of love and understanding, both received and given out, about themselves and animals too. No-one who understands dogs would expect a dog to be quiet if threatened. You don't reason with any animal like that.
I have a problem with people who can't give the same respect for an animal as another human being. I spent years rescuing, taming and enabling the homing of hundreds of feral and stray cats in the UK before I moved over here 4 years ago. I have just taken in another feral kitten (making 5 rescue cats at home now!) not just because of the terrible weather conditions but also partly because the woman that lived next door to them would let her Irish Wolfhound kill any cats or kittens that it came across. I simply don't understand the mentality that likes one species of animal but allows it to kill another, as though they have no value.
You can either try to befriend this boy and teach him to like you and your dog and teach another way of seeing the world (and only you can guage if you think you could trust the boy enough) or keep a watchful eye on your dog from now on and not let him our without being there. TRUST your instincts. You might make a difference for good, or not, according to where your beliefs lay. It may not be your place to be involved.
answered 26 Dec '09, 19:53
I disagree with Stingray and think the Abraham–Hicks' list of emotions is just a mishmash of emotions they could list. There has been no formal research on this emotions model and frankly I don't think either Abraham Or Esther have the academic qualifications to make judgement on such a complex topic such as human emotions and behavior that has been under proper scientific study for at least the last 100 years.
One reliable list of emotions is the plutchik wheel.
Here you will find basic emotions and emotions formed as a result of couples of basic emotions. I have a PDF which explains the other combined emotions other than just the adjacent ones(Eg: Anger + Trust = Dominance - Anticipation + Fear = Anxiety - Joy + Fear = Guilt - Anger + Joy = Pride) Personally this is a much saner theory of emotion.
As far as being mean is concerned. Nature existed before buddha existed and before your ancestors could be termed as homo-sapiens.
In nature, resources are limited and a lot of times there are fights for those resources. If you have the smarts, the strength, group power, special biological weaponry/skills or aggression you stand better chances of getting the resources. Getting the resources means a longer life and possibility of producing an offspring.
Dogs and wolves don't fight each other because they are dumb and don't know fighting is bad. Fighting is a way of problem solving -- Fighting sets a hierarchy - that hierarchy is followed while eating and mating. This makes sure that the strongest male gets the first chance for survival and reproduction. This helps natural selection and gives a chance to the best animals of the species to replicate and keep the genes of that species alive.
We have lived so long in this 'society', 'democracy' and 'equality' type of setting that you don't realize simple facts that everyone is unequal. everyone is different. Assume you're a guy -- You're asked a simple favor that seems slightly out of the ordinary by 3 different people.
Forget who you'd actually do the favor for -- Your initial response to each one is going to be different. We respond differently to different people because we know everyone is different. Everywhere hierarchys are getting established either using aggression, violence display of power or other means -- even in society and your personal interactions - notice it. You will easily get angry at people that are lower in the hierarchy than you and will not easily get angry at people you perceive to be higher than you(compare your child, your company's CEO or his child).
Being aggressive where you know you will not lose much or get harmed is evolutionarily advantageous.
Tell me -- if you were to interact with this boy as compared to another similar boy with more normal and saner behavior. Who do you think you would think 2 times before approaching. I think the kid made his point -- you're not going to venture into his territory without having fear of him lurking around.
Other than that - it just tells you that kids parents did a pathetic job a bringing up that kid. Can't blame him much, probably going through puberty -- with that much testosterone in your body - you'd act in a similar if not the same way.
The sooner you realize a lot of people are mean - they can very easily cheat, hurt and deceive you and then not feel any guilt about it - in-fact they'll also make fun of you once they're done - the better it is for you.
Today if you can sit here on your computer comfortably without the fear of being attacked and have this 'society' thing is because quite a few years ago these aggressive people went out killed all the animals that would be considered a threat to humans or drove them away.
Our territorial expansion was dirty and bloody and was done by the type of people that we put in prison today. I'm sure they were heroes in their times and if you can go through the day without being eaten by another animal be thankful to them.
answered 07 Jul '10, 21:16
It turns out that survival of the fittest was a dogma, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReBj-7W4BO4&feature=related and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwOvg1rJfcM&feature=related . I can't find the one that I want, but you can watch any Bruce Lipton video to learn some amazing things they didn't teach us in school.
(04 Aug '11, 12:45) Fairy Princess
showing 0 of 1 show 1 more comments
because people are ignorant! they need to remove the veils of the mind and do god works! they reap what they sow so it will hapen to them also! hopefully they will grow and learn and stop that chain of event!
answered 23 Jun '11, 18:26
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we live in a world of duality, the 22 abraham emotional cards/the 22 tarot cards, represent double doorways into the dream world
@ru bis was that for me?
@ele it is for whom the bell tolls
"perchance he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not that it tolls for him, and perchance i may think myself so much better than i am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to toll for me, and know not that" quote john donne(1572-1631) ... or in simple language "no man is an island"
@ru bis haha . . . isn't that the attraction? We are both islands. Islands in the stream that is what we are No one in between how can we be wrong Sail away with me to another world And we rely on each other, ah ha
I changed my mind...