I have just started reading the first lesson in Dynamic thought. It says to close your eyes and imagine yourself moving upwards.

Is it wrong to be alone and only think of oneself?

I feel guilty as it feels as though I am abandoning my family. I think this is why I haven't continued with my career.I always put my family first.I know we come into the world alone and leave it alone but still this feeling of guilt persists.

asked 21 Oct '10, 06:18

evelyn's gravatar image


You might this question thread useful as well: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/999/are-we-all-selfishly-motivated

(21 Oct '10, 09:28) Pink Diamond

evelyn, some may say it is less enlightened to only think of oneself. however, that is a personal choice for you to make, will you go with the consensus answer or your heart of hearts.

(23 Mar '11, 12:05) fred

I seem to have opened a real can of worms.What I really mean is that I visualise myself reaching up into "heaven" but looking down to everyone else below. Do I leave them and continue upwards alone or do I stay and help them up too( if that makes any sense)

(23 Mar '11, 13:18) evelyn

you have to weigh out the alternatives. each of us has our own journey with decisions to make at varring points along the way. what does your heart yearn for?

(23 Mar '11, 22:26) fred

What chapter? Because of this question, I read the book and don't remember reading that anywhere. Thanks for the link, I really enjoyed the book.

(29 Jul '11, 13:10) Fairy Princess
showing 1 of 5 show 4 more comments

Liked what Ester Hicks says about being selfish. She says that if you dont secure something for yourself ( not necessarily money ) then youve got nothing to help/bless others with.

This could be spare time,help with a variety of things,a revelation,love and yes.. money too.

Dont agree with everything Ester says but this rang true with me.



answered 21 Oct '10, 14:13

Monty%20Riviera's gravatar image

Monty Riviera

Think about whatever makes you happy. As Peter Pan said to Wendy and the boys, "think happy thoughts!". This gave them their ability to fly, or put more into Inward Quest words - the Vortex.
Personally, feelings of guilt have never helped me achieve anything



answered 21 Oct '10, 08:53

Flame's gravatar image


We all seem to be brought up to think that being selfish is wrong. The way I see it, everything we do is selfishly motivated.

If I decide to help a friend tomorrow, I am doing so because it makes me feel good to have helped somebody. I will have taken the action so that I can feel good and worthy. Hence, I was selfishly motivated.

The other argument is that what good are you going to be to others if you are not aligned with your desires and feeling good yourself. We should really make the choices that we feel good about. However, even if we haven't, we should make it the right choice.

There is nothing worse than having regrets. And why have regrets? The universe is so abundant that you can manifest anything you want at any point in your life. There are no limitations.

We can have everything we want, a combination of career, family and alone time if we want. We just have to stop thinking that the universe is limited in its creating abilities, i.e if I concentrate on my career, I will not be able to dedicate enough time to my family etc. The universe finds a way to combine and manifest all desires, even if we think they are conflicting desires.

I think you might find another of my question threads here on the site helpful.


answered 21 Oct '10, 09:48

Pink%20Diamond's gravatar image

Pink Diamond

edited 22 Oct '10, 10:39

Yes, I think it is wrong to ONLY think about oneself.

That is why from time to time, in my creative visualizations I imagine my family in the best "situation" or "state of being" that I can imagine.

However, you do have to take care of yourself, in order to be able to help others.

Example, if a plane is in turbulance and the oxygen masks come down, it is proven to save more lives if the parent puts on their mask first, so that they can help the children. Not rocket science but we forget that we have to be in a better place to give/help others.


answered 21 Oct '10, 17:09

Back2Basics's gravatar image


I think we all feel like this at some point and especially as a parent we often let those feelings of guilt take over.

However, I do believe that if we are not truly happy, we are not only doing a disservice to ourself but also to our kids. The best role model we can be for our children is to feel good in our own skin and live our life from that perspective. They will emulate what they see in us.

When we take the time to work on our own growth and development, it affects every person we interact with, in a positive way. Just know that what you are doing will be beneficial for you and your family. Rather than feeling that you are abandoning them , realize that you are in actual fact helping them. A deeper part of your being is calling for you to do this and if you don't heed that call, you're not going to be happy and as a result you won't have any kind of positive influence on those you love.

Stick with it :)


answered 21 Oct '10, 17:54

Michaela's gravatar image


The spiritual journey is an internal one and the internal road can only be travelled alone. This does not mean that you neglect your family and loved ones but it is important to take time out to find that space within where you can connect to the Source. Once you are there, you will actually be in a better position to give to your family. You will be happier and more at peace with yourself. Charity begins at home. Don't feel bad about taking care of yourself.


answered 22 Oct '10, 00:03

Drham's gravatar image


I like this answer.....short and to the point

(14 Feb '11, 19:47) Susan 1

I absolutely love your answer Drham! and quite agree with it too, after all it is the exact road I've chosen to take. thank you, namaste

(20 Mar '11, 15:30) daniele

Yes we agree, as long as you share what is or was useful and not keep it to yourself it helps everyone not just yourself to progress up that ladder so we climb for everyone not just ourselves, we better ourselves for everyone not just ourselves. One person bettering him self can help a thousand people better themselves.

(23 Mar '11, 18:52) Wade Casaldi
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

This is a journey you must take on your own. By taking this journey, you are showing your family the way. When you are visualizing youreslf going up, don't look back at the people you are leaving behind, look forward to whatever it is you are aiming for. But don't look back. It's not about them, it's about you.


answered 23 Mar '11, 14:45

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

Guilt is just a form of fear that can be released. Ask yourself what you're afraid of @ the core level & maybe take some time to write the thoughts down. What you write down will be your beliefs. Challenge your beliefs & determine if they're still working for you (according to your words, some beliefs may want to be revisited...)

Keep in mind, anything fear-based is unproductive & stagnating & robs you of your right to be HAPpY!

You deserve to guilt-free & living in the vortex--and that means choosing to see your good & choosing to be HAPpY REGARDLESS!



answered 22 Oct '10, 01:03

figure8shape's gravatar image


I am a channeller. I have learned so much about life from this . It greatly depends on what youu want. It is not "bad " to do this but you must realize the consequences of doing so, if you do you are only gonna get back so much from others. It is hard for a lot of people who want to help or love someone if they only care for themself.Are you aware of the difference between negative and positive densities? when you choose this path your life and ascension will be a very very lonely place !!! I have a channelling series on 4th-6th d neg n positive and their steps on my youtube channel. Type in " TReb Bor yit-NE 's channelling playlist " into the search bar then look for the 4th density 5th and 6th in the list.He explains this VERY well about the passage of the negative ascension (the way of the self server) a positive density is a service to others !!! Think about it, if this lifestyle suits you, then it will be fine. I just have a rough time suggesting that you don't try to love all others unconditionally to anyone. Check it out and see if you are ready for this!! love n light, rob


answered 19 Mar '11, 23:11

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

edited 19 Mar '11, 23:38

Michaela's gravatar image


Evelyn this very much reminds me of a sermon my pastor did a while back, he put a step ladder at the front of the church. He had a rope and he called up one from the people attending he explained as a Christian we all go up this ladder to heaven, to God and to growth, but we do not look down on others. He climbed the ladder and looked down on the one standing there and said, "Hey James the view is great from here, too bad for you being down there!" Every one had a laugh, he came back down and said, "No that is the world's way try to get to the top and leave everyone else behind so you can look down on them! That is wrong!" He said "No as a Christian what I do is tie this rope around my waist, and now tie it around James waist. Now as I ascend up the ladder of life and learning to get closer to God I am not going to lose James I am taking him with me!" "We all help each other to ascend together, some are higher some lower but all helping so we will all make it up the ladder together."

When we see others struggling with life while we are doing well, we should help those people, we need to point out what helps us, be the pointing finger that shows the ladder is right there. We pick people up, we don't kick people while they are down. They know what they did, we don't need to rub it in by saying "You're going to Hell, you did something bad or wrong!" We do not judge that is God's place not ours, but we can show them there is a better way, they do not need to suffer.

So in conclusion yes see yourself going up that ladder, and when you see others struggling, show them what helps you. Don't keep it as a secret to yourself, by the way you are already doing this so you shouldn't feel guilty you just shared that link of what is working for you. :-)


answered 23 Mar '11, 17:24

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 23 Mar '11, 17:35

The world is full of people every where even if you try to isolate your self away from them, they are all around you, even if you cannot see them with your eyes, or you cannot hear them with your ears, they are all around you, so you are never really alone, even when you are alone!

Spiritually, we are from the same energy, so we are all connected, even when we think we are disconnected. The energy is always vibrating and moving, and so are we. But we are still together as one in the same universe, using the same energy power. So you should not feel guilt, you are a part of your family all the time, even when you are away from them!


answered 22 Mar '11, 05:55

Inactive%20User's gravatar image

Inactive User ♦♦

Thankyou Vee,you always make me feel better

(23 Mar '11, 07:18) evelyn

There are times to JUST think of oneself and times to consider others.


answered 22 Mar '11, 18:32

you's gravatar image


edited 23 Mar '11, 06:22

well evelyn you that do yoga should know this if you reach the state of Dhyana that is before samadhi! you are awareness that experiance this world and so is every body else! is it selfish no it is not it is the way it is! you need to seek harmony between you and other people will they be mad at you if you do something for yourself or would you be mad at someone that did something for him self? the answer is no! if someone is mad at you in this world it is not because of you if you did not do annything bad to them! the problem is in them that is where they need to work! you can only show the path it is for them to take it or not each of us do is own choice!


answered 22 Jun '11, 14:47

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

Click here to create a free account

If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website

Related Questions