I have been dealing with a lot of confusion lately, and it's causing a strain on my relationship. I often feel out of control and wanting to fight (not physically. I find myself wanting to participate in negative conversation and gossip.

I realized this and I started to meditate, After meditating on everything I wanted to change ex being positive, positive thoughts, being grounded, love, security, gaining clarity, addictions, etc.. I felt even more anxious,and argumentative.

Why is that? I consistently have negative thoughts, and it takes a hold of my emotions. I have been trying to change this in myself but nothing helps. I have noticed that I have meditated with my bf and then we would argue the same night over nothing.

It's always over nothing, but I have these negative feelings I can't shake, and it's hindering my life because it feels as if someone is controlling my mind, I can't focus. It's constant up and down. Constant confusion, why isn't the meditation helping me at least gain clarity??

asked 19 Jan '14, 12:19

Ilovetruth718's gravatar image


edited 19 Jan '14, 17:14

IQ%20Moderator's gravatar image

IQ Moderator ♦♦

Emotions are red flags. They are flags that tell us something we believe or act upon, or thinking are not aligned with what our souls know to be true. When we consider the fact that there is something you believe, something u r acting on., or something you are thinking about the relationship you have with this person that your dealing with and fighting with. I am going through a divorce right now. I was with this person for over 20 years. We have a handicapped child together. Now it is splitting up because my old beliefs didn't work. I used to beleve that you had to sacrifice your own happiness for love. You had to give of yourself for love. But now I know that is not true. Love is easy, it has no restrictions. And this divorce is one of the worst most misserable times in my life. But it is ok. It is helped me see that red flag emotions of anger and frustration and sadness. The ONLY reason I had these negative emotions was because my soul KNEW that love wasn't restrictive and bad. That i didnt need to WORK for love. That I am worth loving in all ways shapes and forms. Now i know this is not what exactly you are looking for but now lets take it to meditation. In meditation you are supposed to be able to clear out. That is not always true. What meditation is truly for is to remove the distractions of physical existence to help align you with your soul more strongly. What this tells me is that in meditation it is getting worse because there is a red flag. An emotion that is being showed to you by your higher self for a reason. It is showing you that all the things you are getting upset about, is an issue inside you. There is a belief you bought into or thoughts you are having, or action that you are having that is doing what mine did to you. it is contradicting the truth of your soul. Try to be aware in meditation. When you begin to get upset, be aware of what thought is getting you upset then you will be able to find the answer within yourself. I hope this helps and makes sense. Below is a link to the Rob & George show where we talked about just this. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/rob-gauthier/2014/01/16/rob-and-george-enlightenment-evolution-hour-ep-35

Love Rob


answered 19 Jan '14, 14:32

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

edited 19 Jan '14, 14:36


I am in a similar life experience as yourself Rob...it causes you to look deep into your self...good advice...love and light...

(19 Jan '14, 14:43) Roy

love u brother. thank u @roy

(19 Jan '14, 14:47) TReb Bor yit-NE

Rob, thank you so much for your understanding and time. Im sorry your going through this. In a weird way you kind of sound like my bf. He feels like in order to make me happy, he has to sacrifice himself for my happiness like you speak of, but I don't think im asking for anything much like materialistic things.

(19 Jan '14, 15:05) Ilovetruth718

@Ilovetruth718 I am very hopeful that the words above help in some way shape or fasion. I am ok. IT hurt but now I see why it was meant to happen. I feel that the giving of ones self is a feeling of "thats what love is" but we all must redefine love all the time. it is amaizing what hardships do for our new outlooks on life. I hope that u find a way to work it out. Look at facebook if u ever need to chat. https://www.facebook.com/trebboryitne

(19 Jan '14, 15:31) TReb Bor yit-NE
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

Everything you say is an affirmation. Even saying "I am more confused" is an affirmation.

Meditate by relaxing and letting go of thought.

If you want to focus on thoughts, say "things are becoming more and more obvious to me" and think thoughts based on things being simple, easy, and obvious.

Many things in your life are easy and simple, you just don't see it... yet.

Keep focusing until your entire consciousness is embraced by freedom and simplicity.


answered 24 Jan '14, 11:23

arpgme's gravatar image



@arpgme - I love this answer. So simple, and so true. Everything you say is an affirmation.... yes exactly. That short quote will stay with me, thank you! :)

(25 Jan '14, 10:17) Grace

thank you. Yes it is so simple yet effective ill try this one as well @arpgme

(04 Feb '14, 09:57) Ilovetruth718

I know of this because my mom went to hypnotherapy.

What happened is as we relax is that there are doors we shove everything bothering us behind. We have control over these doors however...

These doors are not locked tight but more like pushed and held closed. You are the guard of these doors, nothing gets out! But as you relax deeper and deeper, that guard gets sleepy. You start to get lax in your guarding and holding those doors closed. Little by little things fall out of the door. Oops where did that come from?

Things that bothered you come out, even things long forgotten. Next what happens is little triggers set you off, things that you can't stand you can no longer keep silent about.

This is why it is recognized that having a coach is a good thing. He can spot these and say we need work on this or that, it is a wound that needs love, healing and forgiveness.

Deep relaxation loosens up what we have tightly packed away. Watch how much it affects you, and work on healing these issues as they come.


answered 20 Jan '14, 03:42

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 20 Jan '14, 03:47


thank you @wade casaldi i appreciate it

(04 Feb '14, 09:58) Ilovetruth718

You may try this simple method:

  1. Relax your body.
  2. Withdraw your attention from everything around you, including your body.
  3. Affirm (confirm), using your thoughts, your identity as a soul or spirit, and your nature as peaceful and full of love.
  4. Contemplate (think) the knowledge of yourself as a soul, a point of spiritual light, situated in the centre of your forehead.
  5. Concentrate attention on yourself as a peaceful, loving being.
  6. Experience (visualize) yourself as a soul and acknowledge the feelings of inner peace.
  7. Maintain, without force, consciousness (awareness) of yourself as a soul even while in action and while interacting with others. Because you are spirit being in human form as your heavenly Father is the SPIRIT. (John 4:22-24)

The method to remove negativity is to fill with positivity.

Usually, the method of trying to remove negativity is to negate it. That means, I would say "I do not want to be lazy" or "I should not get angry". But we need to remember that we can't remove darkness, except by adding light. In the same way, we can't remove negativity without adding something positive. Today I will take up one thing that I always wanted to get rid of. I will then frame it in a positive way. For example, instead of saying "I should not be angry", I will say "today I am peaceful" or instead of saying "I do not want to be lazy" I say "today I have the determination to do what I have to do". This practice will ensure that I sustain positivity.

The more you are relaxed, and become lower and lower in frequency, one day you will come in alignment with God's frequency--that is where and when you can really hear Him--which will mark the end of all confusion.

And then you can enjoy trying all sorts of relationship with Him—Father, Preceptor, Companion, Sweet Heart, Mother, Teacher and Child and this enables you to be linked to infinite source of his qualities such as power, purity, joy, love, peace, wisdom and bliss respectively. And you will see how the quality of your life changes when those qualities are going to be your very highlights!


answered 20 Jan '14, 04:00

T%20D%20Joseph's gravatar image

T D Joseph

edited 20 Jan '14, 04:02

thank you so much @T D Joseph

(04 Feb '14, 09:55) Ilovetruth718

Here's some info on negative thoughts and negative feelings that you may find enlightening.

Deep inside you are pure, positive energy, the vibes are high and the feeling is good, this is a fundamental natural state, . Everything outside of you is also energy, including thoughts. Beliefs whether they be positive or negative are formed in exactly the same way, Positive and negative beliefs are just thoughts that you have activated, that you have given a lot of attention and focus to and their vibes have become stronger and stronger over a period of time. Everything is neutral, equal, nothing has any value except the value that you to give it, and value is colored by belief which acts as a filter, whether the belief be installed by conscious choice or more commonly by unconsciously absorbing them from the environment, that is, culture, education ,,, etc.

Your reality is built on belief, on what you believe, on how you "see" the world through the filters of your self created beliefs.

"Man is condemned to be free, because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. It is up to you to give [life] a meaning." Quote by Jean-Paul Sartre

Positive beliefs are based on centering your attention and focus on what you love, on your heart, in this way you are automatically activating positive belief. This can be represented in graphic form by a simple, circular, expansive elastic structure, reference Bashar Brick Wall Beliefs

alt text

Feeling positive is being in line with your true natural self, you are a complete and harmonious person , With a positive beliefs you always have freedom to choose and you can change that belief anytime and in any which way you wish.

Negative beliefs are based on centering your attention and focus on your fears and anxieties, on what you dislike, on what you don't want, in this way you are automatically activating negative belief. These negative thoughts carry much lower vibes than your innermost happy self, this creates discord, and the feeling is uncomfortable.

Consequently when you have negative beliefs you feel and vibrate in discord that attract discordant situations, and you can act in ways that disserve, you react from a place of fear and anxiety. You feel generally uncomfortable and boxed in, you disable the possibility to be yourself, to be the lively and happy person you really are. Feeling anxious and argumentative are sure signs that you stuck in a negative pattern.

Negative beliefs separate and render inflexible, incapable of compromise and can be represented graphically by a crystallized non expanding structure that contains self-reinforcing mechanisms, ref Bashar Brick Wall Beliefs

alt text

Negative based beliefs key into your survival instinct, the idea that if you don't follow this belief you will die, you are caught up in a vicious circle, caught up in a double bind, a catch 22 situation ...


answered 23 Feb '14, 05:12

jaz's gravatar image


@jaz thankyou for the information, but i don't really understand your concepts. I do believe that you become what you think but it still doesn't answer my question.

(23 Feb '14, 09:46) Ilovetruth718

ok @Ilovetruth718, even if you have difficulty in understanding these concepts, i had great fun writing it, thanks for providing the opportunity :)

(23 Feb '14, 10:07) jaz

@jaz i didn't mean to offend you, you give a great detail of information. I just got kind of lost.I appreciate the information.

(23 Feb '14, 10:22) Ilovetruth718

@Ilovetruth, i'm pleased that you appreciate the info ... in time you will find that these concepts are really very simple intellectually but extremely profound and have far reaching effects ... it's a question of emotional evolution and understanding rather than purely mental comprehension

(23 Feb '14, 10:52) jaz
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