Despite self-consciously trying to control my temper, it still occasionally flares up. How do I get rid of the anger in me rather than just trying to control it?

asked 05 Oct '09, 01:23

Stanley's gravatar image


edited 05 Oct '09, 06:20

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

ACIM states that we are never angry for the reason we think. Perhaps if you could find the real reason for your anger you could dissolve that anger and move forward.


answered 05 Oct '09, 01:38

Susan's gravatar image


Anger generally occurs when we feel our sense of self and/or our security is threatened. By sense of self, I mean our ego, and by our security I mean our personal, financial, physical security.

Next time you are angry, stop for a moment and ask yourself "Where in my life do I feel threatened?" You can then ask yourself such questions such as; Why do I feel threatened?, Do I need to feel threatened? or Is there any validity to me feeling threatened?

Anger can be a tool to self discovery and learning, to assess where you are at in life. So use it rather than deny it!

Try acknowledging, accepting and embracing not only your anger but all negative aspects that you see in your self, and in time you will notice them dissipating. On the other hand by denying these unwanted traits in yourself and for example by being angry with yourself for being angry has a tendency to perpetuate them.

I don't think we can ever get rid of anger totally, firstly because we are human, secondly because even when we think we have a handle on it and think we are in control, the universe tests us to see how well we have learned our lessons.

The universe has a strange sense of humour and if you keep your awareness to what is going on around you, you will begin to see when you are being tested. And hopefully you will laugh!


answered 05 Oct '09, 03:56

Vicki's gravatar image


My dear friend,

Please do not control your anger, please divert it. Anger can be converted to happiness almost instantly. I suggest you to follow these steps to mastery over anger:

  1. Stop eating non-vegetarian. Eat more raw vegetables.
  2. Meditate at least for one hour a day.
  3. Sleep for at least 8 hours a day.
  4. please spend half an hour per day in silence in profound solitude.
  5. keep smiling.
  6. Ignore your unwanted feelings and emotions.

answered 05 Oct '09, 04:25

avinash's gravatar image


I have been told if we could see any situation in its entirety, than we would not get angry.

Say you are driving and someone seemingly without any regard for you, pulls out in front of your vehicle. You get mad, but unknown to you the person just got off the phone and was told that their child was just involved in a serious accident. That persons mind should have been on their driving but perhaps it was somewhere else.

Maybe ask yourself some questions that could give you more information. More information may help to understand what is occuring.

I think most anger is because we feel some injustice has been done or we feel out of control.

But if we knew more about why things are happening then perhaps we would see that maybe it was not injustice or lack of control but something else.

Also I would suggest you think about what you would like to replace this behaviour with.

Anytime we say we do not want to do something it seems it typically becomes stronger. Or said another way if you resist something is will become more powerful. So replace the tendancy with something else. Make it a daily goal that a feeling of well being and kindness will be your characteristics, or something like that. Happy go lucky etc


answered 05 Oct '09, 01:51

David's gravatar image


edited 05 Oct '09, 01:57

I think one would have to be a saint to never feel anger. It is how we deal with it that makes a difference. A possible habit which would be good to form any time you feel anger overtaking you is primarily, if possible, to do 3 star jumps. My chiropracter tells me that this prevents any emotional problem lodging itself within and adding to previously held emotions. Another way to free yourself from emotions attached to this anger is to do the Emotional Freedom Technique tapping. You can find a free manual on this site and can find youtube demonstrations of the technique also. Good luck


answered 05 Oct '09, 03:49

mary2soul's gravatar image


Anger is a state of the mind and feeling. Actually, we have nothing to be angered of, because it will create a bad condition in our soul then it will reflect as sickness or disease in our physical body. Jesus said, love your enemy, do good to them that hate you or persecute you. You can elimininate your anger through forgiveness, because if do not forgive the anger is still clinging to your heart and mind, until it will grow bigger and create very unpleasant results. Learn to forgive and release all prisoners of your heart so that you feel light and joyful! Repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is here on earth already.


answered 05 Oct '09, 04:04

Bernard's gravatar image


By acknowledging its value.

The value of anger is it gives you relief of even worse feelings (depression, guilt...).

So it is really very good that you are feeling angry.

Perhaps you can control it until you are by yourself where no one is in harms way.

And then be angry.

And enjoy it.

And know that you are being angry on purpose to get worse thoughts out of your system.

And then do the same for other so-so emotions that can give you relief of anger (frustration...)

And then do the same and before you know it you feel hopeful... grateful... and then you're there.



answered 05 Oct '09, 20:42

carlo.capocasa's gravatar image


I've posted it already in thread about fear. This method is universal, and can deal with vice of every kind:

Autosuggestion. Every night before sleep and every morning just after waking up, you tell the affirmation aloud 40 times (using a string with 40 beads), imagining that you already got the qualities you want to obtain. The affirmative phrase must be positive (word "not" is forbidden, for example "I am not angry" is improper. Correct would be "I am calm/peaceful" or something like that).

Why does it work? Because "before sleep" and "after sleep" are the times when the subconscious mind is mostly active. Your affirmation goes directly to the subconsciousness (which determines your temperament).

It's from Initiation into Hermetics, chapter II.

BTW, In a few days time I will be also starting to replace the "anger" vice with "calmness" virtue.

P.S. Did you know that when gotten rid of anger it's easier to control sexual desires? Abstainment from that is very benefical when regarding spiritual development.


answered 05 Oct '09, 21:03

Asklepios's gravatar image


I my self have a bad temper I even take meds to control it. I found that you must accept the anger as a part of being human. I know your rational mind is clouded at this time but if you can step back and look at you self and center your mind and hold the emotions back a bit ask your self what is the real root of this anger. I found that with me that is is fear. fear of looking bad, being disrespected, fear of loss Etcetera. ask yourself what will this help to be angry and lash out or just compound and create more problems. Keep in mind that other people feel this way as well, and how they act is more about them and less about you. I hope this makes sense. this is what i have to do. hope this helps.


answered 05 Oct '09, 03:36

wjmiller132's gravatar image


Stanley, for every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of it worth it?


answered 05 Oct '09, 20:05

Penny's gravatar image


The more we pay attention to something the more it pays attention to us. We are appreciating what we don't want and as we appreciate something its value goes up to us or it appreciates or becomes important to us. It is far better to make of importance what we do want than what we do not want.

It is best to cast it out and be done with it, see it as a spirit as you have correctly identified it as "anger" not as anger over or about something. That is the first step in getting rid of it by recognizing it has nothing to do with what you may have associated it with.

Problems come and go but the choice to be angry about it actually has nothing to do with it and is separate from it. Look at it this way it solves nothing unless it is used to motivate you to change the situation it is useless. By using anger to change a situation I mean of course for the better not go out and punch the guy! lol

Example you see homeless people hungry and get angry "Why doesn't someone help these people!" Then you say, "If no-one else will then I will!" You gather money to build a soup kitchen and depend on God that there will always be food for these people.

Now if this is just anger that is lingering, I hate this, I hate that, This sucks, That sucks, then you need to cast it out as a spirit or demon and be done with it.

Here is an excellent video by John Waller called "Our God Reigns Here." Just listening to this clears you and sets you free, feel it and feel the love of God for you...


answered 10 Mar '12, 13:30

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 10 Mar '12, 13:31

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Asked: 05 Oct '09, 01:23

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Last updated: 10 Mar '12, 13:31

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