Ever since I passed my Light Initiation my life has changed significantly in ways which is hard to put into words. The passing of this stage is only the beginning of the next stage in which I must pass but it once again has cost me everything in my immediate life. The sacrifices one has to make can be disheartening. The challenges I now face are much greater than ever before and being a fighter I welcome these challenges but sometimes there are beings from higher realms/other realms including in this realm who do not wish for me to succeed/progress for fear of what I may become and they will do what it takes to ensure my failure or keep me distracted at the very least. On the other hand my Spiritual Guides continue to work with me daily to make sure that I continue my Spiritual Journey at any/every cost in which can be slightly overwhelming at times as I still have a hard time accepting my life's purpose in this incarnation as it seems to me to be wildly preposterous and possibly farfetched at times considering I used to be an atheist but yet I persevere nevertheless as I am ultimately kind of curious to see where this all leads to.

Recently I just had to halt everything in my life including speaking with my Spiritual Guides as I am really having a hard time adjusting to it all no matter how strong and brave I believe myself to be and my so called enemies did not waste any time attacking me until I had to create an esoteric energy field around my residence for protection and around me when I leave my residence. When I look into the world I see nothing but hardship and calamity everywhere in the here and now especially in the next coming years. I believe that if I had accepted my Life's journey 20 years ago things would be so different in the World in which we live in today. I'm really having a hard time accepting what my Spiritual Guides are telling me let alone who they believe I will become and what I will do in the near future for Humanity and for other nearby Planets within our Galaxy and nearby Galaxies in which our Governments refuse to inform us about so that they can profit on the new gained technology as they have in the last 70 years or so. What I see in my visions when I meditate is really hard for me let alone for anyone else to accept as a possible future for myself and for this planet and the more I stall the more calamity seems to materialize onto this planet hence the Ukrainian/Russia war after experiencing 2 horrible years of the covid-19 pandemic among the other atrocities we have witnessed throughout our lifetimes let alone all the atrocities from prior generations. It just never stops no matter how evolve we believe ourselves to be.

I have no-one to talk to in this physical realm and the only ones who support me are from the Higher realms eventhough there are others in the very same realms who are trying to sabotage my progression. You see most believe that the 5th dimension is Heaven so to speak which is far from the real truth. There is just less baggage in those higher realms compared to the 3D realm but the yin and yang of things still exist even in the higher realms all the way up to the 25th dimension just with less intensity compared to the 3D realm. Mind you I haven't astral travelled beyond the 25th as of yet.

My Spiritual Guides keep calling me "The Keyholder" among a few other Light Being references lol and that I will eventually show the World "a new way of living" but I am nobody just a regular dude who at one time believed I was cursed with a few abilities in which had always got me into some kind of trouble one way or another. I tried blocking them from my life because I just wanted a normal life like everyone else but my Spiritual Guides were relentless in their pursuit of showing me "Who I really Am" and what I am capable of doing. It's been a super hard journey no matter how hard I tried to dismiss it all. I have seen many of my past lives with my Spiritual Guides assistance and of course it was all very hard to accept. But I now see how it is all connected with who I am in this incarnation.

I apologize for this long comment but how does one reveal themselves in so many words without sounding kind of bonkers or divulging too much information eventhough after reading this a few times I even questioned or not if I should submit this question and my comment. I even sought advice and consultation from those who claim to be Psychic and only got disappointment because they can only see what their Guides allows them to see and one has to be pure of heart, mind and soul in order to Guide others to their real truth and most psychics weren't. Now I did meet 2 individuals throughout this lifetime who truly believed in my quest but one called me "The King of Kings" lmao as he was a Christian Missionary who also had psychic abilities and the other one who was a Native Medicine Woman who called me a Starseed and who also got very excited and thanked me in advanced for finally accepting my Life's Purpose without really providing me with any advice or guidance because they both truly believed that I already knew the answers in which I was seeking .... but I didn't ... I didn't even know what a Starseed was and I was totally lost and confused at the time and never felt so alone in the physical realm on this so called Spiritual Quest. You see it's really hard for me to accept what has been taught to me over the years and when I pulled back, my life would always fall apart which fueled my anger sometimes because I could not understand their old school form of discipline and teachings and when I returned to my Spiritual path once again then everything in which I missed during my brief fallout ... well they would floor me with all kinds of information and introduce me to new abilities to make up for lost time which was a lot to take in all at once. They my Spiritual Guides believed that I could handle it but it always came at a very high price in which I just could not understand the purpose of this kind of suffering as I believed it was truly unnecessary and kind of old school of days long gone.

Some has said stop being a baby and go with it but it is a lot easier said than done and if it was them going through it they probably would have had a nuclear breakdown. After passing my so called "Light Initiation" I really thought that my life would get soooo much easier but was I ever wrong. There is a lot of misinformation online about passing the Light Initiation and for those who did pass it in Earth's history well they ALL left the Planet and were never heard of again. I don't want to be one of those people and I do want to help this World as much as I can but ...

How does one accept their life's purpose even if it sounds totally absurd and a little farfetched without losing their minds? Omg!!! I should have just stuck to being a musician playing in bands travelling from city to city (Ahh i was so happy then) instead of trying to understand the real truths that are not being told to us by those who control the all in all on this Planet or should I say our so called peers of society. Our families have been generationally programmed to believe in what was taught to them as good slaves should live their lives so my family did everything possible to convince me that my path was not worth taking and to abide by the 45 year plan as everyone else is doing. I do have to admit that at one time I didn't think Humanity was really worth saving because of the continuous wars in every generation, the sufferings the controllers bring on to us daily, the unrealistic 45 year plan of survival that they had brainwash us into believing, racism and division among almost every nation from the beginning of this civilization including those prior to ours and the list just goes on and on but after seeing what those beautiful and bravve Ukrainians are going through ... it just breaks my heart and inspires me to fight even harder no matter how much the odds are stacked against me. But I am just one individual trying to accept this World for what it is and to accept what and who I truly am. I do understand why the others who had passed the Light Initiation in Earth's history had left this World without looking back. I fight it every day and know deep down I will be so much happier than I am now by far if I was just to leave this planet as the others did. But something inside of me wants me to stick around and try to truly help as many as I can and hopefully bring new changes that this World so desperately needs.

But I do know ... I cannot do this alone. All of the Awaken Ones must find their true selves and assist me for what is about to come next in our Human evolution. Together we can change the ways of this World. Divided ... well the visions I see of a possible future for Earth does not look very good at all and it seems like the controllers of this planet are doing what they can to keep us divided as much is possible. But the future has not been written yet and I know I am not the only one out of almost 8 billion Souls who is going through the very same thing that I am going through now and together we can accomplish what has never been done before in Earth's history. I will persevere as I always do as soon as I accept what is being asked of me. It just feels amazing letting this all out and leaving myself completely transparent and vulnerable. Hopefully after sharing what little that I did that this is not the end of me as there are many who do not want change but only want to torture us, control us while they continue to rake Billions of dollars from all of us and continue to torture us all daily without any regards to our feelings and well-being. I have also seen a brighter future for Humanity but the path will not be an easy one and time is not on our side as the calamity will continue to worsen until their agenda is completed unless we pull together and stop them all in their tracks.

Peace, Love n Light

UPDATE: This is an update after spending some time reflecting on my thoughts, spending some time with my Spiritual Guides and astral travelling to my safe place beyond the Earth realm.

My Spiritual Guides has advised me that eventhough I had passed my Light Initiation that we are not perfect beings. I am what is considered a beginner ascended master and I use that term loosely because I do not like the word master as it has an egoistic connotation to it and would prefer the term ascended being. I am learning to fine tune my abilities and there are some work to do to perfect these new found abilities. Some believe that after passing your Light Initiation that we become Beings beyond the abilities of Luke Skywalker as @Stingray has demonstrated in a video below lol which is not the case until we develop those skills of mastery if one wishes to. The possibilities are endless as every individual are different. I have a lot of emotional baggage carried through many lifetimes and at times we forget who we are even for just a moment or even a few weeks like in my case but it doesn't change what we have learnt through the various stages of the Initiation process. I am not too sure on how many stages there were in total as some of the initiations were subtle whereas others not so much and everything I have learnt was through meditation with the help of my Spiritual Guides without the influence of man nor the internet. I am presently still learning and evolving as an individual and probably will for lifetimes to come. We are who we are no matter how high we believe we have Ascended.

They also reminded me that the loses I had to endure was part of the process whether I liked it or not, whether I accepted it or not. I took this very personal because like everyone on this planet, we strive so hard to make a comfortable life for ourselves while being here in this incarnation and to lose all that we have acquired can be disheartening and so discouraging. These so called desires, intentions, and vibrations did not correspond to that of my Spiritual path of Ascension and therefore were removed from my life as they were nothing but a distraction. So I had to isolate myself and to not participate in worldly affairs if I wanted to devote myself to the path of inner growth and awareness. It has taught me devotion and understanding, a deepening of my inner life, but it has also brought me loneliness and a sense of alienation when it comes to life here on Earth, life among people and to those who I hold dear to my heart.

For the meantime I am now in the process of discovering some new abilities and learning to fine tune them in order to be an active force here on Earth. My physical body is trying to adjust to the Light I am bringing into my body but sometimes my emotional body interferes and can complicate the process but only for a short time. Most times my body is fine and is adjusting well but every now and then as in my case I allow my emotions to get the very best of me hence the question I have asked here on InnerQuest. On top of that, being an atheist complicated matters greatly as I had soooo many questions/arguments to this whole Ascension process unlike those who faith was never an issue.

I remember when I was in my early 20's, my Spiritual Guides told to forget everything I knew about myself, everything that was taught to me without losing my identity in the process. I thought that would be an easy task but holycrap was I ever wrong. I obviously had no idea what that truly meant and the following years was a test of everything I thought defined me as an individual. "Letting Go" was so much tougher than it sounds or others would led you to believe. Where I originate from, is nothing like what this World has to offer by far. Since I was a child I could not understand why the Humans of this World were so violent, judgmental, narcissistic, cruel, uncaring and the list just goes on and on without and form of justification. I never ever felt like I belonged here but I had to adapt in order to survive here on this cruel, violent, greedy and uncaring Planet.

Anyways ... I have allowed myself once again to upset the balance within me by my own actions which is perfectly normal when one first passes the Light Initiation process as everyone goes through it. @Stingray did say something that made a lot of sense ... "When you are tuned in to who you really are, the only person that can stop you is you" ... which is sooo true. Every individual is different and sometimes our lower bodies can haunt us at times. One only has to balance about 60% of our karma in order to Ascend not a 100% like some would believe. There is just too many past lives that most have no memories of to deal with in order to fully balance all of our karma.

When I began this Journey I was in it for myself like everyone else and I was going to leave the first chance I had if and when the opportunity presented itself. I just wanted to go home where I truly belong and leave this World behind me. Well I had that chance and still do but something inside of me reminds me that I am not just here for myself, to connect with my own soul or to experience my own Divinity but that my Life's Purpose is much greater than me myself and I ... it's to share my Divine knowledge and experiences with the World as many of us are presently doing to transcend the negative energies of this World even in times of great calamity and societal unrest.

As soon as I fine tune the new abilities I have recently learnt ... I will then be able to assist my other sisters and brothers who have volunteered to stay behind in helping humanity in ways no-one has ever witnessed before throughout our history and teach others how to unlock their fullest potential to help bring in a New Era in Human Evolution on Earth. There is so much to learn and I am back on my Journey after a brief fallout ... mainly because my Spiritual Guides can be a little annoying at times and won't leave me alone lol just kidding lol but I love Them soooo much and They know it and I am very grateful and thankful that they have never ever given up on me no matter how emotional I can get with them and especially when I have given up on myself at times.

Many religious and political systems carry oppresive energies convincing us or should I say brainwashed us into believing that we are bad, unruly, uncaring and have gone astray which is not the Spiritual Way. They have created commandments, rules, limitations, duties, divisions, discrimination against other races and genders (for example some religions even today believe a female has no right to education let alone no rights whatsoever in society ... really? in 2022 unbelievable) and they restrain us from truly expressing our True Selves, and have smothered our ability to Love, to feel Joy, to respect one another for our differences among other wonderful attributes that truly defines us as a Human Race.

So no matter how dark our World can get at times ... LIGHT always win in the long run. We just need more LOVE in this World to experience the PEACE we soooo long for to bring in the "NEW ERA" in Human evolution that will benefit ALL OF US.

Peace, Love n Light

asked 11 Mar '22, 02:24

Moonbeam's gravatar image


edited 27 Mar '22, 23:29


Accept that Earth is doomed and when you die, you can choose to reincarnate onto a better planet (or choose not to reincarnate at all). No point worrying about what you can't control.

(11 Mar '22, 11:25) kakaboo

My family and friends believe in what you had just said and would rather believe that Humans on Earth are doomed no matter what. I would love to believe that there is a better future for all of Humanity if we all stand up together as one and change our selfish ways. Together we can make this World a much better place to live on where everyone are equal without the need of this continuous cycle of suffering, needless wars, endless calamities and so on which has been going on for far too long.

(11 Mar '22, 20:57) Moonbeam

What you said about "No point worrying about what you can't control" well somebody is controlling it all and they are just 1% of this World's population which leaves 99% of Humanity to Awaken and to finally put an end to this B.S. once and for all. I would love to believe that they the controllers can and will be stopped in the near future so that the Human race can move on together as One Race for a much brighter future for all to enjoy and be an example to foreign Alien races on other Planets.

(11 Mar '22, 21:08) Moonbeam

I guess what I meant to say about the controllers of our Planet is that eventhough many are lost and have these horrible agendas against the Human Race not all are completely corrupted. They represent order and have done their best to their abilities to maintain that order on this cruel and somewhat unforgiving Planet. Unfortunately many are influenced by outside means and for some they cannot see beyond their own narcissistic ego's and generational corruption. Hopefully soon in the near future

(13 Mar '22, 19:52) Moonbeam

they will see how their corrupted ways has no place in this World anymore. I still have faith in our Leaders to do the right thing amidst the atrocities we are witnessing in the World today. There is so much disinformation out there on social media and hopefully soon that will be a thing of the past to help and bring in a New Era of Peace, Love n Light to this wonderful and beautiful Planet but there is still a lot of work to do until we are Unified as One Race ... The Human Race.

(13 Mar '22, 20:00) Moonbeam

Hi @Moonbeam how to accept anything even if it sounds absurd and a little farfetched? ... simply accept that everything happens for a reason and it helps us, so go with the flow and see what happens ...

(16 Mar '22, 23:58) jaz

Thanks @jaz. The last few days has been surreal to say the least as It is really hard to describe in words. My Spiritual Guides believe in me more than I could ever believe in myself. I am starting to see that maybe I shouldn't have asked the question above but at the time I was so frustrated with my Guides and other Higher Dimensional Beings for what has been happening here on Earth and for what is yet to come. I feel like I am being tested beyond anything I have ever faced before and I am ...

(17 Mar '22, 01:36) Moonbeam

not sure if I am ready to take on such a heavy burden. What if I mess up? How could I ever live with myself if I fail. I'm scared!!! They have shown me how everything that I had went through was for a reason and now is the time for me to embrace it all, the visions and all of the lessons in which I have learnt throughout this Incarnation. I've been living in isolation trying to accept my life purpose as my life has not been like the norm. My physical body is having a hard time balancing all ...

(17 Mar '22, 01:44) Moonbeam

of the Light Energy that is within me and every time I am outdoors I fight with staying grounded in this physical body as I just want to leave the Earth realm as it would be sooo much easier. I try so hard to keep my light energy hidden but it just wants to soar and be free and people are starting to take notice everywhere I go and I really wanted to remain in the background but my Spiritual Guides have different plans for me. Maybe you are right ... maybe it is finally time to accept what ...

(17 Mar '22, 02:09) Moonbeam

is and to just "go with the flow and see what happens." I've come this far so there is no point on quitting now. Many Lightworkers/Starseeds have left the Earth realm before passing their Light Initiation especially in the late 90's after the 3rd and last group ascension wave had happened when so many simply disappeared but my compassion and love for Humanity has allowed me to stay behind. Sometimes I regret my decision for not leaving as this World seems so hopeless at times but when I look ...

(17 Mar '22, 02:20) Moonbeam

into the eyes of children and those who are suffering the regrets fade very quickly. We are in for quite a ride in the coming years but I truly believe in the visions I have seen as every single one of them had come to fruition. Thanks for believing in me @jaz. I will try my best to not disappoint. When I meditate I can see the Others scattered throughout this whole World and together we can bring in a whole "New Era" and put an end to this chaos and suffering Worldwide. I hope I don't mess up!

(17 Mar '22, 02:58) Moonbeam

Hi @Moonbeam here's something to ponder "God cannot be lost. There is nobody blocking the way. There is no hurry because God is not something in time. There is nowhere to go because God is not distant in some star. You cannot miss in the very nature of things. Don't seek, don't search, don't ask, don't knock, don't demand ... relax. If you relax it comes ... If you relax you start vibrating with it ... Osho" . God meaning Spiritual Guides, Higher Realms or whatever you wish

(23 Mar '22, 02:21) jaz
showing 1 of 12 show 11 more comments

Hopefully after sharing what little that I did that this is not the end of me as there are many who do not want change but only want to torture us, control us while they continue to rake Billions of dollars from all of us and continue to torture us all daily without any regards to our feelings and well-being.

Below is a video from a documentary that I found online. It clearly shows what happens when billions of controlling dollars meets one person aligned with universal forces.

Unfortunately, the depiction is not entirely accurate - the aligned person is much more powerful than this ;)


How does one accept their life's purpose even if it sounds totally absurd and a little farfetched

You just follow what you feel is right. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

When you are tuned in to who you really are, the only person that can stop you is you.


answered 11 Mar '22, 04:03

Stingray's gravatar image


hmm.. I didn't know Star Wars was a documentary

(11 Mar '22, 11:27) kakaboo

@Stingray - Perfect.


(11 Mar '22, 11:31) Grace

@Stingray - Lmao luved the video. I knew that I would be ridiculed after posting this question which is perfectly fine. Many have the wrong idea of what it means when one has passed their Light Initiation and the so called experts in this field make it sound so unachievable and almost impossible to attain. Yet many especially in the 1990's have disappeared from the Earth realm throughout this very same process never looking back. I just thought I would be different and stay back to help others.

(11 Mar '22, 19:47) Moonbeam

The energies of this planet can be a little overbearing at times. After all it is a very big planet and those who wish to keep us as slaves to their system have been playing the game for a very long time passed down throughout many generations. Passing one's Light Initiation requires many sacrifices and can be an arduous task to accomplish especially when they have no support system. Being an atheist growing up it was even more of a challenge as I had to let go of everything I knew about myself

(11 Mar '22, 19:58) Moonbeam

and still try to fit in. Many throughout history has passed their Light Initiations but religion makes it sound like we have to be like that Jesus character or whatever Prophets they praise which is totally untrue and completely absurd. In conclusion to be like Skywalker in your video would be an amazing feat to accomplish and to believe that an aligned person is much more powerful than him is actually hilarious and unrealistic. May the Force be with You lol.

(11 Mar '22, 20:15) Moonbeam

Follow Up after meditating tonight:

Thanks @Stingray for your comment. It has given me something to seriously contemplate about. I do hope you read my edit in my question after I had a deep meditation session with my Spiritual Guides tonight.

(12 Mar '22, 03:24) Moonbeam

I also wanted to apologize for demeaning Jesus and other Prophets of Earth's history in my comment above as it was not my intention to do so. Where I come from all religions have been abolished because as in Earth's history, religion was the root of most of the horrific conflicts many Planets had to face in their own personal evolution. Lot of Earth's past stories have been exaggerated to promote their form of religion and many past leaders including those leaders of today used religion to

(13 Mar '22, 18:44) Moonbeam

promote fear, division and wars among other cruel crimes against Humanity as history clearly has shown in which brought great sadness to my heart. So many cultures and innocent people have vanished throughout our history in the name of religion. Other planets that I have visited through astral projection had their own historical religious prophets and did the same even in higher dimensions as we will soon discover and they eventually successfully had evolved to be beautiful and loving Races.

(13 Mar '22, 19:05) Moonbeam

Religion here on Earth is a man made concept to use fear and shame to control the mass when law was failing in our history. Spiritualism is a way of life in which most Planetary systems from the 3rd to the 25th dimension have adopted as a way of living without fear and sinful shame or a reason to justify inhumane wars and other atrocities. Monarchies has lost it's grip on civilizations and eventually Dictatorships will be a thing of the past as we as a Human race evolve as One Race to be

(13 Mar '22, 19:33) Moonbeam

a living example to other Planetary systems in ours and nearby Galaxies in the near future. We still have a long way to go in order to experience Global Unification but I have faith in Humanity no matter how many cruel wars we experience in the Here and Now and in the near future. Humanity is not perfect nor will it ever be but I have faith that WE as whole will do the right thing and embrace a New Era in our evolution.

(13 Mar '22, 19:40) Moonbeam
showing 2 of 10 show 8 more comments

How to accept life's purpose? we need to attain the core of our being, as Stingray points out in the Star Wars video energy and matter are different manifestations of the same thing, in other words at the very core of our being we are invincible.

How to attain invincibility? Here's a radionic device you can use in conjunction with your meditations as a guide to the highest realms of consciousness, awareness and knowledge.


The 9 petal flower represents the 9 vehicules of a complete human being, the central triangle represents the core nature of your being. To use the graph you place a vibrational pattern of yourself on the center of the triangle.


answered 27 Mar '22, 01:04

jaz's gravatar image


edited 27 Mar '22, 01:16

Thank You @jaz for your helpful advice. I will explore it with pure intent.

(27 Mar '22, 23:12) Moonbeam
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