Hello. I am wondering why certain people (the good, bad and the ugly!) will come in and out of our lives. Having recently posted a question on here about someone I am deeply drawn to with no apparent reason to be so, has made me question other experiences i've had.

Ive had two very close friendships, with one of them betraying me badly, who I didnt miss at all when I cut contact with, even though they were like a soulmate to me. Ive also had a relationship with escalating violence in which I missed the person so much I thought I would die if did not see them again.

Do all people just appear in your life for a reason and when you have learned from this they then go?

What about the ones who stay around for ever, and what about the ones you are so drawn to but you dont understand why, are there hidden messages there? If your feelings towards someone are so intense, yet you dont die without them after all, how can you tell when you have somethng which is real and lasting?

I am someone who is by nature not comfortable with strangers and do not encourage new people, yet I do seem to attract certain people for no apparent reason.

Is there anyway I could not attract people unless they were going to be around for a long time or at least for some obvious reason. Although I suppose this would be the end of my human contact with the world haha. xx

asked 15 Jan '11, 17:06

Mile3%201's gravatar image

Mile3 1

edited 15 Jan '11, 18:56

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

It was always my personal belief that people come into our lives because we need to learn something from them, or they need to learn something from us. Good things, bad things, happy things, lovely things, sad things.... we learn personal growth, how to love and serve, how to receive, and other life experience through our relationships with others and they grow through their experiences with us as well. Isn't it fun when you look at it that way?


answered 16 Jan '11, 06:12

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

Love this ...

(04 Aug '13, 20:50) ele

Experiences, not lessons.

(18 Dec '18, 13:37) ele

A Reason, Season or Lifetime

People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty...
To provide you with guidance and support...
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually...
They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die...
Sometimes they walk away...
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand....
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled...
Their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.
Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life...
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

~ unknown author

In LOA 'speak', it's all about vibration. They would not be in your 'view' if you weren't on the same frequency be it fear or love. You attract people who are a match in vibration and like life, 'tunes' change. Reasons, Seasons and Lifetimes are all states of frequency (vibrations). Reasons and Seasons usually change due to shifts in vibration and or 'clattering' away.

Life is about experiences.

With Love, Ele

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 04 Aug '13, 20:43

ele's gravatar image


edited 18 Dec '18, 14:08


loved it @ele..,very appreciable..:))

(07 Aug '13, 01:36) supergirl

Thanks @supergirl

(07 Aug '13, 01:49) ele

We are all just visitors passing through, and along the way we will meet new faces all the time, and sometimes we will made lasting relationship with some of the people we meet on our life journey. The path in life is made clear for you to explore, and to enjoy, and you get to decide for your self, what you want to have in your long term, and short term relationships.

Everything in your life is exactly where it is meant to be for you, whether you know it, or you do not know it, consciously, or subconsciously, so do not ponder too much on what is left behind you, look ahead; there are more lessons to be learned, more events to attends, life’s journey is just beginning, and there are still many bridges to cross! So be patience, welcome every opportunity, and bow out gracefully when it is time to say goodbye!


answered 16 Jan '11, 07:20

Inactive%20User's gravatar image

Inactive User ♦♦

awesomee..loved it..,thanks fr sharing :)) spcially thse lines, "everything in ur life is exactly where it is meant to be for u "...very true..

(07 Aug '13, 01:48) supergirl

Good question Mile3:

In my own experience, the people who have been most influential in my life (mother, father, son, etc.) have been in my life for several other past-lives as well... They've come in and out of the equation for many lives -- usually to atone for something they did wrong in the past.

I can remember all the way back to about 500,000 years ago, when my present-day son, was working with me on a Cultural Development project -- and we both defaulted. Now, in this life, we are still working to reconcile those betrayals -- not an easy thing for either of us to do!

My father was my younger brother when we lived in a country like Switzerland... He feels like my younger brother in this life too!

Sowing and reaping -- life-after-life.

That's why it's so important to make a plan to live this current painful human life with positive purpose and intention.

If we don't work at achieving the spiritual growth that is needed to finally transcend this human estate -- we'll need to do it all over again.

I'd rather graduate -- wouldn't you?


answered 16 Jan '11, 14:06

The%20Prophet's gravatar image

The Prophet

edited 17 Jan '11, 15:47

You remember 500,000 years ago?? What was going on back then? Where were you? What language did you speak?

(17 Jan '11, 22:52) Back2Basics

I may be sorry I gave that answer ;-)... I was on a planet (it felt just like this one) that was in the process or learning the basics of culture -- becoming civilized... I taught trade and industry... Do you believe in the metaphysics of past lives?

(18 Jan '11, 12:38) The Prophet

... But what I've said doesn't contradict what Tom and Zulu (below) have said... If I had gotten their message back then, I wouldn't be here now... As I've said, living with purpose and intention NOW is best... No matter how long it takes -- the goal is the same and we will get there when we make that choice and follow that path.... If we don't make that choice now -- we get recycled... Still a perfect plan... Here's hoping that you make that choice NOW!

(18 Jan '11, 12:50) The Prophet
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Alot of people are just jerks... sorry to say. They havent learned HOW to maintain a real relationship and they will flit around for years never settling into a real connection. Many of them have been abused or abandoned by primary relationships-- family, close friends etc and could never learn to establish a trusting long lasting bond. So many reasons why people come in and out-- alot of it too is fear of committment or the "grass is always greener" mentality. And sometimes its about ourselves and our own inability to develop, establish and maintain something stable. That coupled with a man's drive for sexual diversity and "to cheat" its a wonder we have much of an established society at all. AND don't forget this one... our current society is very mobile-- we use and move on; borrow and discard like drive through sandwhich shops--wanting the next fast quick pick me up but never getting to the REAL root cause of our lack of satisfaction or boredom. Hope these words help...


answered 04 Aug '13, 11:15

Melanie%20Simms's gravatar image

Melanie Simms

"a lot of people are just jerks" ... everyone of us is a jerk in someone's eyes

(04 Aug '13, 13:09) jaz

I'm not! I'm purrrrrfect! he he

(04 Aug '13, 15:13) Melanie Simms

hmm . . . cat lover - Welcome, @Melanie Simms

(04 Aug '13, 20:47) ele

@Melanie Simms in other words however purrrrrfect we are, someone will always cast judgement on us

(05 Aug '13, 01:45) jaz
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

I don't believe in Karma if I had a past life that's over and done. I don't believe were here to learn any stinking lessons either. God lives in the eternal Now. Set your intentions to be your best today. Forgive everyone and get with the Now and working on yourself and you will attract the person that is right for you. It may or may not be permanent. Stay the with person believing it's good until is not. Don't worry about it. Just live like you just had the best news of your life. Manny Blessings


answered 18 Jan '11, 00:56

Tom's gravatar image


@Tom-Good reply.It is useless to beleive in past lives even if this theory of Reincarnation be true.but in fact this theory is not true.

(18 Jan '11, 11:41) Zee
Click here to create a free account

If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website

Related Questions