I tend to look at things from the bigger picture and generally understand that any negativities in life happen for a reason that you are not yet aware of.

However, I find it hard to be in close proximity to a family member that seems to constantly manifest challenges and choose the short straw in life.

How can I stop absorbing these negative energies or help somebody who just isn't ready to start down the path yet?

asked 09 Feb '11, 14:41

realityVSimagination's gravatar image


I'd like to suggest an alternative perspective on your situation.

Often those folks that draw those strong negative emotional reactions from within us are doing us a great favor - and the ones that just stubbornly refuse to change are often our closest spiritual buddies, if not actually part of our own unique consciousness stream just manifesting through another physical body.

So where does the favor bit come in?

It's because everything that comes to you in life (in every moment of every day) is an exact vibrational match to something you are thinking. And since thought always precedes an emotional response, it is also a vibrational match to how you are feeling.

So those people that highlight negative emotion within you are demonstrating to you in a clear way that you are thinking thoughts that do not harmonize with the broader (non-physical) part of you.

They are reflecting back to you an aspect of your vibrational offering that you may be overlooking

...often because you have acclimatized to that vibrational offering and no longer perceive it as uncomfortable. (It's a bit like wearing new shoes that don't quite fit right...after a while, you forget the pain even though it is still there in the background.)

And the negative people that refuse to change despite your best efforts are showing you even more clearly that it is futile to try to change conditions around you because conditions are only effects...it is the thoughts that we think that are the causes.

That's why it is often hard to let go of those people that drive you "mad"...it's because there's a part of you that knows they are doing it for your benefit even if you can't see it at the time :)

So what's the solution?

It's about bringing your power back to you.

It's about caring enough about your own connection to your broader self that the behaviors and opinions of others do not matter.

It's about putting yourself first to make yourself vibrationally strong and stable. And from there, setting an example that those who wish to follow can then follow.

But if they choose not to follow, it's also about letting them be as they wish to be without making yourself suffer because you need them to be different.

So resisting something bad is never a good approach because your thoughts are now focused on what you consider to be bad...finding a way to feel good regardless of external conditions and people is always the answer.

It is about making that connection to your broader self unconditional....and that is also the true meaning of unconditional love :)


answered 12 Feb '11, 14:54

Stingray's gravatar image


The "alternative perspective" works for me :)

(12 Feb '11, 17:34) Michaela

Thanks Michaela - works for me too ;)

(13 Feb '11, 13:21) Stingray

Very helpful .-.

(13 Feb '11, 17:35) all2gethernow

thanks stingray great answer- wouldn't have thought of it from that angle :)

(14 Feb '11, 04:23) realityVSimagination

Glad to help :)

(15 Feb '11, 05:45) Stingray

yes not every one is at the same level. but they will get there in time.

(26 Jun '11, 22:45) white tiger

I keep coming back to this post, I find it very helpful, living with one who draws strong negative emotional reactions from me. They are becoming much less though, as I strengthen my connection to my "broader self." Making that connection unconditional, as you put it Stingray. Thank you!

(18 Nov '19, 02:59) Delphine

@Delphine - You're welcome

(19 Nov '19, 10:06) Stingray

@Stingray Situation here is that my roommate has narcissistic personality disorder. He thrives on drama and conflict. I have learned to disengage from the drama for the most part, but neighbors in building are pushing for me (as master tenant) to get him out. If he did not leave, could likely become a court battle. I get their pov, but feel might be better to let go and trust this will work out on its own if we can just stay at peace within ourselves. What would you do? Thanks :)

(20 Nov '19, 14:28) Delphine

To be clear, I'd be very glad if he moved out. He's said he wants to get a place with his gf and her young daughter, but seems to be dragging his heels on that. I just wonder if forcing this could end up being more hassle than it is worth.

This may also be part of it. From your post: That's why it is often hard to let go of those people that drive you "mad"...it's because there's a part of you that knows they are doing it for your benefit even if you can't see it at the time :)

(20 Nov '19, 15:12) Delphine

@Delphine - Simplest solution is to focus on feeling good regardless of the situation. From that dominantly feeling-good place, you are putting yourself in a state where you can "hear" the perfect solution to your predicament

(30 Nov '19, 06:56) Stingray

Thanks again @Stingray. Yes, it can be a challenge at times, but doing that insofar as possible. I am using prayer also, of course that is part of putting myself in that feeling-good space. And in fact I am now seeing the light at the end of this tunnel.

(30 Nov '19, 14:28) Delphine
showing 2 of 12 show 10 more comments

Know where your coming fro VS.

Ive recently had problems of this nature too. Im frustrated at times that people dont see things the way i do.They dont see the positive outcome that i see.

But were all on our own personal journey.Were all in slightly different places .

I tend to stick to my guns and let the results speak for themselves.

Half an ounce of manifestings worth a tonne of empty theorising.

Family members will eventually see the results for themselves.And by this i dont just mean the stuff you can see. A positive attitudes a great magnet for attracting people.I loving attitude is the same. They will both win people over in the end.And even if folks still dont see things EXACTLY as we do. What the hell.We can be a blessing to one an other all the same.



answered 10 Feb '11, 10:13

Monty%20Riviera's gravatar image

Monty Riviera

Great response, thank you :)

(10 Feb '11, 11:59) realityVSimagination

Well said Graham :)

(10 Feb '11, 13:19) Michaela

My best advise to you and everyone else is to stay in the "vortex" and everything else will fall into place. If you are unable to do that you will have all sort of problems popping up in your life constantly.


answered 11 Feb '11, 22:36

Drham's gravatar image


easier said than done :) but i know what you're saying

(14 Feb '11, 04:24) realityVSimagination

I'm dealing with this right now in my family. The best advice I can give you is be patient. If they weren't family it would be easier to just cut them out of your life. Stay positive and be a good example, they'll eventually see the light.


answered 09 Feb '11, 18:47

Chris%20N.'s gravatar image

Chris N.

Thanks Chris :)

(09 Feb '11, 21:02) realityVSimagination

In line with Stingray on the importance of finding the feeling-good space from where the solutions naturally flow...this from Emmanuel channeled by Pat Rodgast, just right IMO.

When, without even knowing the meaning of it, you say with each inhalation, "I choose love here. I choose love," you will see the light change and the darkness dispel. Your mind may say, "I don't understand what happened. All I did was sit here for fifteen minutes choosing love." Well, mind, that's all that is required.

The lifeline, the golden rope, is to know that there is such a thing as love, and in that moment you are empowered to choose it. Just that. Even if your heart is breaking and you feel on the edge of collapse, say, "I choose love." By this mantra you silence the lifelong mantra that would choose fear."


answered 30 Nov '19, 19:02

Delphine's gravatar image


edited 30 Nov '19, 19:02

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