Consider: And that love can happen at any age, and would you rather settle down sooner, or wait on the right person to come along and sweep you off your feet?
This question was inspired by the 99 year old man and World War #2 Veteran, who fell in love, and got married for the first time to an 86 year old woman he, met at the Retirement Home where he lives.
This question is not a duplicate, since it is addressing a different issue.
asked 26 Jul '11, 01:56
Inactive User ♦♦
Barry Allen ♦♦
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We thought you would all enjoy a picture! (see below) ![alt text]
Now that Wade has told you his side- let me tell you mine.
I fell in love with him after extensive emailing about a year and a half ago. I tried to be very, very patient with him. He had been hurt badly by women, and I was equally hurt when my husband left me in 2004, and found out that he had started an affair with L. soon after that...
We graduated from emailing to IMing to rather long, looooooonnng phone calls. By January of 2011, it was clear that something was brewing, but I knew that Wade was not ready...at least, he was reluctant to say what was becoming obvious- a day was not complete unless we talked one way or the other. We then began to use Skype.
On Valentine's Day, I sent him a poem...a special poem where the first letters of each line spelled out, "Will you marry me?" He did not get it....at first. But Valentine's Day was the day when he finally admitted that we "might be falling for each other".
(I felt like applying a 2 x 4 to his skull by then...Our phone sessions were going on hours every night.) Since he said that, we started to Skype, and in March, I flew up to his home, and the rest, as he stated, fell into place quite wonderfully!
I am now living with him up north, and we are very happy.
Patience paid off. So did the fact that I would rather cut off my right arm rather than become just another woman who would hurt him. So I waited for him to "catch up".
I have never known such closeness or peace.
Waiting for him was really worth it...!!!!
answered 26 Jul '11, 05:11
@jai your answer made me laugh and smile.very joyful .It has been kind of like being on the side lines here on IQ and reading between them.
(26 Jul '11, 21:12) ursixx
I am glad that you are happy. :)
(26 Jul '11, 22:46) Asklepios
@jaianniah-tender emotions, really sensitive. the bit about wade being badly hurt by women hit me hard
(27 Jul '11, 06:13) blubird two
I really love all of you here on IQ!!!!! Blessings, many of them,>>>>>>>>>>
(27 Jul '11, 13:57) Jaianniah
@Blubird Thank you so much, that is really sweet and considerate. :-)
(28 Jul '11, 04:09) Wade Casaldi
@Jai: You have both found true love on Inward Quest: what a wonderful story, with a very beautiful and meaningful ending; and may God continue to bless you both and enrich your life in every way! Thank your for sharing.
(28 Jul '11, 05:50) Inactive User ♦♦
How sweet for you two! I am so happy for you both. I must say that your answers though are not the same. To Wade, "Everything seemed to fall into place rather quickly for us." and Jai says she was very patient, waiting while Wade was healing. So, once again, it is a matter of perspective.
(22 Aug '11, 13:55) Fairy Princess
showing 2 of 7 show 5 more comments
It should fall into place easily and without too many obstacles if it is right for you. It should also feel right and not leave you with many ill feelings, questionings and etc. If it is beset with a lot of problems, it isn't right. Everyone's time-table is different. To one couple, taking years to get to know each other before making a commitment is fine. To others, they don't want to waste time. If your time-tables are way off, it also isn't going to work out. One would always feel resentful about the other dragging their feet. It should go along at the right speed, without too many bumps along the way and it should feel wonderful!
It should always be the right person for you though, and not the timing of the person showing up in your life. The wrong person can definitely come along at the time in your life when you wish you could fall in love and settle down. Many people could attest to that....the wrong person at the right time is possible.
The right person at the right time is magic! I've rambled, but that is my point!
answered 26 Jul '11, 07:23
Your words hold truth, and your point is well taken, thank you.
(28 Jul '11, 05:25) Inactive User ♦♦
Try walking in the rain and forget your umbrella. Don't wait for love just expect it.
answered 26 Jul '11, 21:25
I like your analogy, thank you.
(28 Jul '11, 05:14) Inactive User ♦♦
(13 Dec '12, 07:05) supergirl
There is no "right person" waiting to sweep us from our feet. There are many types of "love", and if you mean erotic love, this is quite different to "friendship" love, and "unconditional" love.. True love for another grows like a tree from a seed, and outlasts the temporary nature of romantic/erotic love. This sort of "true love" can't be rushed, and needs to be nurtured like a seed with water and sunlight. The whole concept of controlling or "hurrying" love sounds great to the ego, which loves to control things.
answered 27 Jul '11, 04:41
@dionysius-i like your description
(27 Jul '11, 06:16) blubird two
@dionysius:Yes indeed we need to be weary of the controlling ego, thank you.
(28 Jul '11, 05:20) Inactive User ♦♦
i would rather live my whole life without love - come near to the end of my life at 80 or 90 years old...experience love like it has no boundaries, than have the kind of love that has only stopped me from having the love i only dream of now. there are a lot of people who NEVER even experience the beauty of true and unconditional love. i'll take it even if i only have it for one day. i just want to know what it's like.
answered 26 Jul '11, 03:40
I had it once... true love brings such intense peace to your mind.
(26 Jul '11, 10:19) Asklepios
@soybliss:Love is a beautiful thing, and hopefully you will experience it one day, thank you.
(28 Jul '11, 05:36) Inactive User ♦♦
I don't think so, Jai and I are perfect examples of it.
Everything seemed to fall into place rather quickly for us.
answered 26 Jul '11, 04:19
I believe this is one of those men point of view vs women. I basically said you can rush love. Jai and I did and everything worked out well. But Jai used us as a perfect example of you can't rush love as she feels it took forever waiting for me to catch up with her. Maybe it all boils down to what is rushed and taking time, it is all a point of view.
(26 Jul '11, 17:30) Wade Casaldi
@wade was that quickly before or after the 2x4? ;)
(26 Jul '11, 21:26) ursixx
@ Ursixx LOL yes long after, she is right.
(27 Jul '11, 02:01) Wade Casaldi
@Wade C:Thank you for an honest answer about you and Jai, and I am happy for both of you!
(28 Jul '11, 05:31) Inactive User ♦♦
Thank you so much Vee I am glad we have friends here on IQ we can share this with. :-D When I saw her answer she is really more correct than I am, I believe it is one of those male vs female how we look at things. I was obviously oblivious but her persistence and perseverance paid off. She said maybe the cave man hitting the cave woman over the head is wrong maybe it was the cave woman that hit the cave man over the head! LOL Thanks again Vee that was sweet and thoughtful. :-D
(28 Jul '11, 23:36) Wade Casaldi
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this is my motto- the rules of love are unlimited
answered 27 Jul '11, 06:36
I can accept that, thank you.
(28 Jul '11, 05:12) Inactive User ♦♦
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Noooo, you'll just have to wait. She said love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take. ♪
@Thank you Ves: it is one of my favorite songs too, good stuff!