I have known about and applied the law of attraction in my life to some extent for a few years now.

However, I still find myself making up excuses and trying to blame others for their behaviour towards me on some occasions when it is all my own creation and what I have attracted from them as a result of the dominant vibration I hold.

It is sort of an instinctive response sometimes to blame others for their behaviour towards me. I then realise on most occasions that they are not doing anything to me, I am doing it to myself.

Why is it hard sometimes to automatically register the fact that everything we attract is in response to our dominant vibration and has nothing to do with others' purposely not behaving in a nice way towards us?

Is it because it is instinctive in our human nature to think about blaming others before blaming ourselves?

asked 22 Feb '10, 13:29

Pink%20Diamond's gravatar image

Pink Diamond

Because by accepting full responsibility for what we attract,we have to accept that it is within our power to change the situation and not anyone else's. This can sometimes mean having to do something outside our comfort zone. Usually it is just easier to blame someone else and stay within the framework of a situation we may not like because it feels safe.


answered 22 Feb '10, 13:53

Michaela's gravatar image


Well said, Michaela

(22 Feb '10, 15:14) Stingray

I can agree with this I think.

(22 Feb '10, 15:50) Pink Diamond

Thanks Guys :-)

(22 Feb '10, 19:02) Michaela
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

It is true that people have difficulty taking responsibility for their own life. It is true that people tend to blame others for their problems. It is also true that the responsibility for your life rests with you, and not what other people say or do.

But if you are discussing the behavior of other people towards you, always keep in mind that they still have free will and can still choose to behave in a manner that (from your perspective) is not ideal towards you. You can't control that, although you can influence it.

What you can control is the way you respond to it. You can respond with anger and hurt, or you can respond with compassion and understanding, and gratitude that you still have the opportunity to choose how you live your own life. It's not always easy, but it does improve your quality of life, and it gives the other person a chance to do better next time.


answered 22 Feb '10, 14:42

Vesuvius's gravatar image


edited 22 Feb '10, 17:22


Well said!-It is a matter of response and not automatic reaction.

(22 Feb '10, 15:14) Michaela

Vesuvius, what are you saying regarding the free will of others smacks of assertion into your reality, which does not exist. You only attract behavior from others which is consistent with your vibrational attitude towards them. Sure, they have free will to behave how they want, but you will only rendevous with the behavior from them that is a vibrational match with what you are attracting from them.

(22 Feb '10, 15:21) Stingray

The only way that I can see of being totally free of the influence of other people's decisions is to completely isolate myself from other people, which I don't really consider a viable option. And even then, there are people who are making decisions about the taxes I pay, the quality of the water I drink, and the price of the food that I buy. I may choose to get those things another way, but that still means I am adjusting my life to compensate for someone else's influence.

(22 Feb '10, 17:14) Vesuvius

You don't want to be free of the influence of others, otherwise you wouldn't have incarnated on Earth - interacting with other people helps stir up desires for you. What you want to be free of is the negative influence of others and this is completely under your control. No-one is a slave to the behavior of others. People behave with you according to your vibrational expectation of them, linked in with your expectations of your interactions with people in general.

(22 Feb '10, 17:34) Stingray

That sounds reasonable. But it still comes down to how you respond, not how they act. Your responses (and attitude) largely dictate how people behave around you overall. And you can always remove yourself from a negative behavior of someone else's. But I'm not sure you can actively prevent someone's bad behavior from occurring in the first place. People still make their own decisions about how they act.

(22 Feb '10, 17:53) Vesuvius

You can't stop anyone behaving how they want to behave but, as I mentioned in the first comment, you can control what behavior you rendevous with. If your expectation of behavior from them is always pleasant and happy and, at some time, they are angry and unhappy, you will simply not meet up with them at that time. It works the other way around too.

(22 Feb '10, 18:39) Stingray

Makes sense to me. I think we're saying the same thing with different words.

(22 Feb '10, 18:41) Vesuvius

It's simple enough to demonstrate this happening. Pick the nicest, most pleasant and happy person in your life right now. Then simply spend a few minutes a day for the next week making lists of everything (no matter how small) that you dislike about them...there is bound to be something and you will discover more everyday as you continue with this exercise. Then sit back and watch your relationship with that person deteriorate dramatically through nothing else but doing this. Of course, you can reverse the process once you are convinced by seeing only the positive aspects of them :)

(22 Feb '10, 18:42) Stingray

OK. But your experience of that person is being colored by what you are focusing on. Your perception of their behavior is negatively affected, because you are focusing on their more negative aspects and that is all you now see of them, not necessarily because that person is actually getting worse because of your mental focus. That said, your expectations can influence how a person behaves -- Often, they will change their behavior just to fulfill your expectations.

(22 Feb '10, 18:51) Vesuvius

In addition, because you are focused on their negative aspects, it is subtly (and perhaps unconsciously) changing your behavior towards them, which will (eventually) cause them to turn negative (if they choose to do so).

(22 Feb '10, 18:53) Vesuvius

That's right - they are not necessarily getting worse except when they are interacting with you because you are attracting different behavior from them...it's not just your perception either, you will be actually attracting worse behavior. I'm serious about the exercise by the way. If you truly believe that you don't attract behavior out of others through your expectation of them, just try it (for a few days at least) and you'll be left with no doubt :)

(22 Feb '10, 18:53) Stingray

Oh, I believe it. I've done it many times with my wife (sometimes without consciously realizing it)!

(22 Feb '10, 18:56) Vesuvius

Indeed...have been there and done that too :)

(22 Feb '10, 19:02) Stingray

Thanks -I enjoyed this dialogue:-)

(22 Feb '10, 19:03) Michaela

Yes, interesting conversation. I might try out the exercise, Stingray.

(22 Feb '10, 21:51) Pink Diamond
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