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Once upon a time, there was born a boy who had a problem with dyslexia. His school system liked labels, and called him, "Learning Disabled", and thus put him in classes with all the other people who had similar labels. He accepted his lot in life, and accepted that he was "different". Why shouldn't he? After all, they were the experts. After all, he had always had...problems with life, shall we say. He was terribly shy. He had trouble being around people, especially after they starting calling him "Dummy" and "Retard". He accepted these labels, just as he accepted, year after year, the assumption that he had a very poor brain and that that brain really was not good for much. It did not help that his parents, too, accepted this label of "Learning Disabled". After all, he was the one who never got the punchline of a joke. He was the one who was seemingly impossible to understand. This boy, though, had some passions. He never met a machine he did not immediately want to investigate. He annoyed his brothers because he took apart all their toys, just to see how they worked. His curiosity was insatiable and went ignored. He fell in love with computers (thank goodness for all of us), and spent endless hours playing computer games. There was not a game made that he could not beat. Despite signs that this boy did, indeed, have a few brains in his head, he continued to be "tracked" in the school system with the "difficult learners" all the way into High School. I think it was fortunate that he finally gave up on the school system, for they had certainly given up on him. He quit High School, and threw himself into Karate, working his way up to a very high rank: a sixth degree Black Belt. He aided his father, who was his teacher, and they went about from town to town, teaching Karate. This young man also assisted his parents with their security business, despite the fact that dealing with people absolutely terrified him. One day, our hero, who, as it turns out, is indeed a hero, decided to get his GED. His plan was to go to college. He astonished everyone with his rapid grasp of the High School Equivalency classes, and scored so high on the GED test that it was absolutely amazing. But alas! He became afraid to go to college because of its high cost, and his dreams were dashed. So he decided to become self-taught. Our hero began to read books. His favorite subject was the spiritual world, and especially anything that had to do with self-improvement. He was attracted to the Society of Secrets, to the writings of Esther and Jerry Hicks, and Florence Shovel Shinn. He became an expert at Neo-Tech, and knew about the Law of Attraction long before any of us here had heard about it. By now, you probably know that I am talking about a real person. I am. Despite the fact that our hero had a few troubles with writing, he was brave enough to join Inward Quest when it was born, and added his long-earned wisdom to our collective. Just about at that time, he met a woman who took him under her wing, and began to teach him the difficult task of how to edit his writing. His writing meant a lot to him, but he had troubles with the mechanics of English (Who doesn't? English is practically impossible to master!). So he started to learn about run-on sentences, commas, prepositional phrases, and all the things his horrible High School would have taught him if only they had bothered to see his giftedness underneath his dyslexia. But that darned label has stuck with him. He truly thinks he is deficient in so many ways. The point of my writing his story is so that you can have the opportunity to tell him that he is NOT deficient, that he is NOT a "dummy", that he is a valuable member of Inward Quest. Please help me to convince him not to quit writing on Inward Quest. As it turns out, someone criticized him, and he took it very much to heart. He spent the whole night awake, perhaps blinking back tears of shame and humiliation. Once again, the world had turned on him. Once again, he felt like that "dummy" that they called him back in High School. If you will, please help me celebrate Wade Casaldi. For he is a true hero, an unsung hero, whose walls are lined with books I cannot even begin to read or understand. I beg of you to write a few words to him, telling him that he is needed here on Inward Quest. Thank you so much! Blessings to you all, Jaianniah NOTE: Thank you all for your kindness to Wade! It has meant a lot to both of us! Jai
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Hi Wade. I owe you an apology from the very bottom of my heart for it was my answer to you question that started the problem. Now, Wade I'm not saying the following words because of Jai's beautiful description of your gentle soul. Until this moment, I never knew that the person behind the words that you wrote experienced such difficulty. In other words, As far as I am concerned, you are just as normal as anyone that I know, and on top of that you have always had great wisdom to share and you have expressed that wisdom without any difficulty of expression. I have not seen you as any different from anyone else and I will continue to do so in the future. So basically when I answer your questions, I am not going to worry about how it may affect you, because, from the person that I have known you to be so far, there is nothing wrong with you. When you pointed out that my answer was very critical of you, my first reaction was to defend myself. But then I read my answer from that perspective and I realized that you were absolutely correct to feel upset and insulted by the approach within my answer. I am truly sorry for that mistake on my part. My fault is that I tend to read a question as just a question, instead of "jai's question, or Wade's question", and I answer it in the moment without editing the flow of information. It never occurred to me that I should take into consideration how it would impact the spirit of the person who's asking the question. All great lessons are learned in painful situations, and so this is a lesson for me to be more understanding towards others and especially watch how what I say may come across. Wade, please don't see this as a reason to stop participating here, for you will become a much stronger person by choosing to stay on and continue to share your wonderful insights and perspective. Let's pretend for a moment that I actually, deliberately, tried to judge you or insult you in any way. The best thing you could do is to fight back by pointing out how my words are causing you pain. I know that you are a strong warrior with the strength and tenacity to not be easily shaken by and opinion that, in my defense was accidental, and not directed towards you in any way. So teach me a lesson by staying on and proving to me and everybody else that you are stronger than this. It is I who is here trying to apologize to you; that should clearly show you that you are the one that is stronger here. As I promised, I will re-edit my answer so that the perspective is not about the person behind the question, because it was never that, but as you pointed out, it did absolutely come across that way and I am ashamed about the consequences and the pain that I caused you. Sorry my friend. I hope you accept these words of apology and stay on because you make a huge difference here. And there is nothing that you need to change about yourself, because you are as normal as can be. All those labels that were placed upon you are the result of a system that could not accommodate brilliant people who unfortunately come across as misfits. If you read my profile you will know that I have struggled with labels, to the point of suicide for many years until this stuff here (that we discuss) changed my paradigm completely. So please stay, and you are going to be fine and much, much stronger because of it. Thank you so much Traveller yes I seriously saw that as a critique on my writing of the question. Which I promptly agreed with because I know no matter what I do it can always be better. Which unfortunately also means it is never good enough. But that can improve too there is always room for improvement. Accepted and forgiven I see your sincerity and appreciate it very much. :-)
(02 Feb '12, 02:26)
Wade Casaldi
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I have always respected you and learned from your posts, Wade. Your contribution to IQ is not to be measured. (And you have a fearless advocate in Jai!) Take care my fellow Astarian and go easy on yourself as you do on the rest of us. That is the hardest thing to go easy on myself as I do the rest of everyone else. I think it comes from the strong belief no matter how good or how right I am I can always do better. That sounds good at first but it leads into never good enough so that leads into self undervalued, I value other far more. :-) Thanks so much LeeAnn! :-)
(02 Feb '12, 02:49)
Wade Casaldi
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Hey Wade and Jai. I got two words for you ..GET UP ! You don't let an opponent keep you down you GET UP ! 3
Yes everything has resolved. We don't hate life, we hate what we expect from life. But I will say this: this question is not just for me but everyone that has had similar experience and beliefs that they keep. So I believe now this is a bigger benefit than just for me personally. :-)
(05 Feb '12, 07:37)
Wade Casaldi
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for you wade: http://www.narutoget.com/watch/882-naruto-shippuden-episode-245-english-subbed/ face your ego wade you can do it. to remain sad and angry will not serve you.experience and enjoy. 1
Thank you White Tiger I enjoyed the film, yes facing ourselves is hard when there is so much we don't like and that is what needs faced.
(02 Feb '12, 02:42)
Wade Casaldi
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Wade - when I read Jai' s heartfelt & beautifully told narrative; two words came to mind - Wow & Warrior! YOU should be so proud of yourself! It's a tale of triumph and inspiration. As painful as your childhood labels were; those labels became your greatest teachers. Had you not suffered; would you have become the honest, kind, wise, compassionate, sincere and truly genuine man you are now? I had a childhood label too and yes, it still roars its ugly head every once in awhile; but I am who I am because of what I learned from it and what it is still teaching me. My soul needed this experience. You and Jai are part of the heart of IQ and don't forget - if it wasn't for IQ - it would have taken much much longer before the two of you met. You have more to share and we have more to learn; you will be missed if you leave - so don't go. By the way, since being here; I've read many of your posts and I always assumed you had a college degree if not a masters. Be kind to yourself; my friend, Warrior. Wow College degree or even Masters!? Maybe someday, thanks so much Ele! :-)
(02 Feb '12, 02:45)
Wade Casaldi
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Wade you seem to have a very witty and humorous personality. You make me look at everything differently. You my quit if you like but you are appreciated very much here.
Thank you everyone Jai did this while I was asleep I didn't know whether to be upset she wrote this or happy because it is sweet. She is wonderful it has some inaccuracies in it but as I told her she said she wanted to write it in a story form not as a whole bunch of unrelated facts. She did do a nice job although I feel this was not the spot to post it since it is not a question in the proper sense it is off topic. But other than that it does explain me very well and why I am a perfectionist.
A perfectionist trying hard to accept excellence over perfection, but it as well explains how I feel of myself. I am very hard on myself but I think that is how I did so well for my GED and my Karate and my Guitar, even my hacking old atari 2600 video games into new games (changed graphics and sometimes sound if I could find it) I pour myself into what I am doing. Many times a stream of consciousness will flow for me and I'll be typing faster than I can think. I'll get done and have Jai check it
She will find it has run on sentences everywhere and that it needs to be chopped up into single complete sentences. That can be hard at times because I feel I lose what came through by messing with it too much. However given enough time it does work out to be better and clearer to understand.
As for me being a Master of Neo-Tech? Not really, I have a long way to go with that. Just like I only made 4th degree Astarian but that did take years to get there. Thanks again and thanks to my sweet Jai