This is my question (also at the end): What is it that makes us know that someone specific is our soul mate, the right one, the one for life? Should I stay specific or general?

Long version:

I have tapped into Law of Attraction some years ago, late 2006 or so. First it was just the idea and the understanding, as I was moving through life without any changes in my beliefs. Things got fast and my life turned around so fast, the asking was so strong, as the contrast kept going and going. So I ended up in my teenager room again after ten years, and started the quest to find out who I am really. The following three years kept going with struggle and pushing against all, and at the end, I came to the point where I actually said to myself, whether you go out into this world and do as you always did, or you go a different path and apply all that you can vibrationally and let the universe does what it does best, create!, create my own new life. Focus Wheel after focus wheel, books of positive aspects, virtual reality games, books full of pages of them... Generally my focus was on freedom, finances, career, life purpose. Less or no focus on health and a romantic relationship. I never had to struggle with health etc, as I think that this is one of my resistance free belief areas. And I had a general desire for a relationship, but it was not a burning desire. Life turns around as I decided to go out into this world and live from inside the Vortex and equipped with all the Law of Attraction knowledge and all of the processes practiced. A new job comes across my way, I move to a new city, a new life... Of course new asking comes with it, but I manage to go with it, as I apply again and again processes to align, again and again.

I then felt the strong desire for a romantic partner more and more, and I kept all the specifics that I thought were important to me, from my physical point of view. I was imagining someone who already was familiar to law of attraction, I somehow was imagining she is an artist, and lots of images and virtual realities to align with a fantastic romantic relationship, that is in my Vortex present already.

Shorter version:

Then one day, I met her :) at our first moments we talked for more than 2 hours and got acquainted so fast. Everything felt so natural and we talked about energies, about life, really deep stuff. The following two weeks were so amazing, everything developed so perfectly and we got closer and closer. The last day before she had to leave (she lives halfway across the globe, where she would stay) for a long period of time, we kissed for the very first time (she actually did kiss me first). So things turned out to be a remote relationship. We kept communicating in every possible way. And our emotions evolved into more and more and the desire to be together grew more and more. And at some point I knew she is the one, which is still so powerfully active in me. Even though she is almost completely different what I have imagined before we met, I have come to the knowing that the universe not only had brought up any meeting with a mate, but with a mate who is about all the things that I have created through the living of my life until then. I never have felt so deep love, I knew I have fallen in love for the very first time in my life, and it was all inside the Vortex, almost all the time.

Shorterer version:

So we met again, as she came back to visit. Physical experience and interactions, conversations were so intense and I felt the greatest satisfaction and fulfillment, parallel with the greatest contrast, as she was communicating from a more aggressive, regretting place, not so pleased. And finally she left with doubts. This contrast and the following weeks, I acted from a place of need and trying and pain and loss, etc. And finally I took my vibrational offering back into control, and in short time I have come to new beliefs and places. Now I love her really unconditionally, and I even have put aside the condition that she is the one, and cleared my resistant further. And I have come to this magnificent place, where I know that this contrast has helped us to create a magnificent much more rewarding relationship, just from the beginning, and it got so much more. I am in a more pure positive (general) expectant mode now.

Questions: Where do I go from here? Leave everything to the universal forces and stay general and expect that it will turn out perfectly well? Sort of an absolute free unconditional allowing mode.

Or, make it right, make this what is before me the right one in every possible way, as I imagine specifically her, us, our relationship the way I feel the most relief and positive emotions?

And how is it that I still feel she is the one? That I can go through everything in life with her, being so sure about it? (While she turns out to be more in a general place, of not feeling the same way as I do, especially after the contrasting experiences, "I have to add, that she is not so much into the teachings of Law of Attraction, as she is more looking for what is going on now and she acts rather than aligning her energy first")

Thanks for reading the whole story and giving your beautiful answers!



asked 24 Mar '12, 08:23

Bubu's gravatar image


edited 12 Oct '12, 15:39

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

Keep your spirits high and leave the door open, not only to the possibility of her coming back, but also to the possibility of someone completely new coming into your life.

I don't believe we can pull someone back to us if its not what they also truly want. It could be, for you and her, but it might not be, at the same time. So, I would definitely imagine being with her, being happy- there's no harm in that, just know it could be someone totally new that shows up. Either way, you will have many great experiences before you.

Just relax, trust in your self and the universe, and you will receive what you're looking for, whether its this girl and your relationship with her, or if its just another surprise waiting to pop up. :) Good luck!


answered 24 Mar '12, 17:25

LapisLazuli's gravatar image



@LapisLazuli "Just relax, trust in your self and the universe, and you will receive what you're looking for, whether its this girl and your relationship with her, or if its just another surprise waiting to pop up."

There is a lot of value and knowledge in that simple statement. Thanks for sharing your inspirational wisdom!

(25 Mar '12, 01:29) Cory

@Cory you're welcome, thank you for the wonderful comment! :o)

(25 Mar '12, 18:29) LapisLazuli

How do you know if she’s the one??

This exact subject has been on my mind for some time now. 2 times in my life I have “fallen madly in Love.” I’ve been studying, checking journals, and just trying to remember what were the processes that brought these women into my life? I've always had women in my life but these 2 (so far) were above and beyond the rest.....why?

I don’t have any information on how I got my first love and that was 15 years ago, only memory. All I remember is living in a house with my buddies, all who had serious girlfriends, and I started desiring to have a girlfriend of my own. Then one day our landlord came to our door and asked if myself, and one of my roommates, could help him with a job at one of his other rental buildings on the other side of the city? Once there, we were having fun laughing while working, and making noise for about 2 hours. The girl in the next apartment came over wondering what all the commotion was? As soon as I saw her there was “SOMETHING” about her and I was instantly attracted to her. We only said “Hi” to each other as she walked right past me and over to the landlord. The landlord talked to her for a minute then she left, I figured I would never see her again.

Strangely, a month or so later, that exact roommate, who helped with the job that day, moved into that exact rental building with his girlfriend and they got to know this girl in the next apartment and found out she was looking for a boyfriend and they made the arrangements for me and the girl next door to get together. The rest is history and Liz was my first love. I would spend the next 6 years with her (and 3 years more trying to get over her). I still think of her to this day. Liz and I remembered back on that first day, she said there was “SOMETHING” about me that she was instantly attracted to, but was put off because I wouldn’t talk to her. (LOL)

My second love was attracted with a “mindmovie” (look up examples on youtube) which I made myself, with Windows Moviemaker, and using images that had meaning to me, and music that made me feel good. The timeframe was about 3 months from starting the mindmovie to meeting my second love.

I transferred to a new town with my job and 2 weeks later I met her. As soon as I met her, there was a comforting feeling as we talked and there was just “SOMETHING” about her?? It wasn’t: “THIS IS HER,” WITH FIREWORKS!! It was a “feeling.” I didn’t even know I was going to fall for her. It grew over the next few months.

I did notice there were “ALOT” of coincidences, proving to me that “something higher” was influencing this. I remember when she told me June 9 was her birthday, my eye’s almost popped out of my head!!! Because “my” birthday is June 9. Many things like this were happening.

About 6 months after meeting her, I was cleaning junk off my computer and came across the old mindmovie, which I had long since forgotten about, and said to myself “Oh, there’s that old mindmovie I use to play every day. I forgot about that! Let’s take another look at it before I delete it.” My jaw was hanging wide open!! The movie was about her!! It still gives me goose bumps!! I didn’t even know her when I made the movie. Also, some of the music I put in the mindmovie had been playing in the background at some of our get-togethers, which caught my attention right away.


I didn’t make it clear enough what I wanted “after” I met and got to know her!! All I knew was that I wanted to be in love again. That I did get, and she has been good for me. But I didn’t focus on long-term.

Where do I go from here?

I’ve started following my emotional guidance system! If it feels good, then that’s the right direction to go. If it doesn’t feel good, then that’s what I avoid. I won’t let things just drift in any general direction anymore and expect/hope things will work out well.

Since starting this I’m noticing things are starting to a good way!!


answered 25 Mar '12, 15:25

Eldavo's gravatar image


Actually, she was way beyond what I can imagine. I had to line up my energy on many subjects, and it didn't bother me at all. Then I suddenly realized that I can go way beyond my comfort zones, in all directions and I held her as the object of my focus in a unconditionally loving way. I can think about us being together, years into the future. Experiencing life together to the fullest, expanding joyously. I know she is really the perfect universal match to all the things I have ever wanted.

(27 Mar '12, 13:16) Bubu

@Eldavo - I just found this old post, it's wonderful! When you have some time, I would really like to hear more about you "mind movie", cool! :)

(10 Oct '12, 01:27) Grace

Chuckling as I read, just this minute heard Abraham say , you only need to focus on something a little and it starts popping up , guess what I was doing last night ......... putting together a Mind Movie , there is a programme available that makes it easy , I won't say what coz we aren't allowed in here , but google that term @Grace and you'll find it . Love and Laughter SL

(11 Oct '12, 05:12) Starlight

@Starlight, we have no objection to anyone mentioning helpful products on IQ. We only step in when someone is posting an affiliate link i.e. they are making money themselves from linking to the product because then there is a possibility that the advice may not be genuine but instead financially-motivated

(11 Oct '12, 06:05) Barry Allen ♦♦

Fair enough Barry , just erring on side of caution put together by 2 Aussies Ryan and Natalie

(11 Oct '12, 06:32) Starlight

Grace, I'm going to make a post this weekend on how to make a mindmovie and my experiences with it

(12 Oct '12, 12:20) Eldavo

@Eldavo, cool. Looks like it will be an interesting weekend on IQ. :)

(12 Oct '12, 13:39) Grace

@Starlight, thank you.

(12 Oct '12, 21:40) Grace

@Grace most welcome . I think @Elvado , giving us the how to's in here would be absolutely fabulous, no cost is ALWAYS appreciated , lol. I didn't even know my laptop had a movie making programme, but found it, so I learnt something new , thank you and am excited now to see ♥♥♥

(12 Oct '12, 22:50) Starlight
showing 2 of 9 show 7 more comments

As I am learning, and as Phillip Moffitt in "Dancing with Life" puts it so eloquently:

"Craving (anything) creates an illusion, a misperception, a deluded mental reaction, which causes the mind to contract into stress and anxiety. If this state is avoided or released, the mind is naturally calm and luminous."

Do you best to relax and allow the process to unfold without (mentally) grasping too much. Having a relaxed mind equal less resistance, and less resistance to what you are wanting, makes way for the things you desire. The more you relax and allow, the easier (everything) appears in your life. Relationships included. It really is sort of like magic :)


answered 10 Oct '12, 09:54

figure8shape's gravatar image


I have not had a lot of experience with men, but I can tell you what attracted me to Wade. Specifically:

  1. He is scrupulously honest!
  2. He is neat and smells clean. That really matters a LOT to me, at least!
  3. He is so caring and puts on no airs. He is always helpful and always kind.
  4. He went out of his way to teach me anything at all that he knew; For example, he introduced me to this crazy website called "Inward Quest" back in 2009...
  5. He laughs easily and we share jokes, both private and public...For example: This guy calls 911 (the emergency number) and says, "I think my wife is dead!" The operator says, "Why do you think this, sir?" "Well, the sex is the same, but the ironing and dishes are really piling up!"
  6. Perhaps I should have put this first, not last...But the best thing is that we have so much in common! I could make a list a mile long about all the interests we share. Christianity is first and foremost. I was married once to a non-believer, and the Bible is right- it says that both people in a marriage should be "equally yoked". I very nearly died, and Wade brought me back from a living Hell on Earth...back into The Light. For this alone, I shall always be grateful.

Who is to say what makes a couple tick??? I am not sure....But when you find yourself on the phone, long distance, for eight hours a night, perhaps you ought to move...I did, and have found new Life and New Love in Wade.

I thank God every night for the Gift of Salvation, and the Gift of Wade.



P.S. Wade, I love you lots!


answered 12 Oct '12, 19:34

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 12 Oct '12, 19:35

@Jaianniah, sweet. Mmmm making me warm an fuzzy. I'm so happy for the two of you. You are very encouraging to those of us who aren't quite there yet. :) Enjoy yourself, love.

(12 Oct '12, 21:47) Grace

@Grace- Thank you so much!!! I will and do enjoy myself...hmmm...that sounds a bit naughty, but I'll leave it there...Make of it what you will!!! LOL Jai

(12 Oct '12, 23:10) Jaianniah

our life force, consciousness and physical being
all seeking awareness
does the law of attraction
and repulsion govern all three

do vibrations from their opposites
satisfy this curiosity
the life force seeking to
for completion in unity


answered 25 Mar '12, 05:40

fred's gravatar image


Click here to create a free account

If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website

Related Questions