This is such a selfish question, its not spiritual at all, I know! But i have been single for 4 years now and im wondering how to attract love or is there any higher plan for me to be alone haha. I had a relationship two and half years ago for a few months and that was only because I was constantly told 'move on, find someone' etc.

How do you move on if nothing ever comes to replace it? Im chatted up constantly but I feel absolutely nothing. Im always asked what is wrong with you, lower your standards, your too picky but whats wrong with that?!

Its not like I dont know what I want (I have him down to a t haha) but where is he? I dont think I can go on alone now, I need someone to take all my plans to the next level now.

Can u even just attract love or should you just accept your fate, I mean there is not always someone for everyone is there? I know,a shallow question!!

asked 02 Apr '11, 09:10

Mile3%201's gravatar image

Mile3 1

edited 02 Apr '11, 10:16

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

First of all, there is nothing that’s not spiritual in nature. And if you now feel, through the contrast of what you’ve been living that you want to have a romantic partner to share your life, in my view that’s not selfish. We’re here to enjoy our lives and to have fun and, for me, that includes loving relationships :)

Your standards are your preferences and by lowering them, you’re not doing yourself or anyone else any favors because ultimately, you won’t be happy by copping out and choosing someone who isn’t in line with your preference.

When you say: “I’m chatted up constantly, but I feel absolutely nothing.” To me, that’s a clue that may indicate a lack of self love.

Consider this: "He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have." Socrates - 469 BC - 399 BC

Therefore, self love is the place to start if you’re looking for a long-term partner and entering into a lasting relationship. A real partner can only arrive, when your love is focused inside.

Your Universe only has the ability to reflect back to you who you are being vibrationally. Hence, huge amounts of self love can only bring other’s who feel the same way about themselves into your experience. Your Universe can only bring things to you if you’re a vibrational match to them.

Yes, your real partner exists and as soon as you are in vibrational alignment with them, they’ll show up in your life. So all you have to do is work on your own alignment; and be the person that fits the bill of who you say you now want to be and what you say you now want to experience and then your Universe will bring that experience to you, guaranteed.

When you say: “I don’t think I can go on alone now, I need someone to take all my plans to the next level now.” Consider this and replace marriage with ‘Lasting Partnership,’ if necessary:

"Marriage: that I call the will of two to create the one who is more than those who created it." Friedrich Nietzsche – 1844 - 1900

That’s my idea of a true lasting relationship with a romantic partner. Anything less than that may mean that there will be residual issues of control inherent in the partnership and so: either it won’t last or it’ll be an uncomfortable, bumpy ride and you’d be better off alone.

I believe 100% that you have the ability to attract love. You are the consciousness that’s currently inhabiting your body and having this experience. If you believe in fate or destiny, look within and ask within: “How do I feel about a lasting loving relationship?” Then you’ll have your answer. If this wasn’t your path, then you wouldn’t feel the way you do about wanting a relationship.

If you feel that a loving partner, that you definitely deserve, is on the cards for you to experience, the bottom line is getting clear and then through self love, bringing yourself into alignment with your desire. Step Up Now :)

Finally, even if no one shows up for you in this life experience; by loving yourself fully, completely and unconditionally, you’ll still have a wonderful life. As opposed to a life of wanting, pining and
being unhappy.


answered 03 Apr '11, 02:00

Eddie's gravatar image


I think that quote by Socrates was just the golden hammer to the nail- that sums up how to get whatever you want!!

Eddie, only asking here because i dont know how to message you elsewhere, but it would be really inspirational to hear your private story about how LOA brought you your dream life. How did you do it? I'm asking you because i read (elsewhere, cant remember in a different post on a different question) that you live quite an exoctic and heavenly lifestyle!!!

(09 Nov '11, 14:24) Nikulas

so appreacteation and contenetment and satisfaction is the way to go?

(09 Nov '11, 14:25) Nikulas

I wouldn't say contentment or satisfaction. Think of it this way: when you truly love yourself you don't need anything from anyone, so there's no resistance. Without resistance, all good things come to you, SURE :)

(10 Nov '11, 08:04) Eddie
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

When I decided that I wanted to get married again, I persisted in visualizing myself with "someone". I didn't see any particular face clearly. I "saw" myself happy and going out to dinner with a man, saw the ring on my finger (and felt it!), I saw people smiling and pleased at our wedding. I visualized scenes like those quite clearly and persistently. I knew the universe would bring the right person into my life, and trusted that to happen. So I didn't push the issue with any particular person and didn't worry about it at all or feel any urgency. I let the law of attraction do the rest of the work.

Once the man who is now my husband came into my life, I let the visualizing drop, to see what would happen and to let it go on its own momentum if it was right. And...well...we are married now, and he was the right person for me. We met when we were working at the same place.

Perhaps the right person is just around the corner for you, and then you will be glad it didn't work out with the other.

The law of attraction will help you have the things, situations and people you want in your life. There is no need to "accept your fate" or accept unwanted conditions. Best wishes!


answered 02 Apr '11, 21:24

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

LeeAnn, the past 3-4 days I have the imagine of getting married to the one and only for my whole life, at age 19.....I've already heard, through no summuning of topic myself, friends randomly coming up to me and saying "you know what Nik, I really can see you getting married a perfect woman VERY shortly..."

(08 Feb '12, 08:19) Nikulas

To attact Love, is to love and accept yourself exactly how you are. The rest will follow in perfect order.

I Love You :)


answered 02 Apr '11, 10:19

Brian's gravatar image


It really is hard to love yourself. You are still holding on to the past struggle, this is a drain on your energy. I still struggle with that to this day. We can be our own worst enemy and be stuck in our ways which requires others to have to conform to you. This is a stance of manipulation and is not attractive. A relationship requires sacrifice without giving ALL of your identity. Sometimes you might want to do something just for you. But then you are missing the enjoyment of a great relationship and partner. It is a bit of a balancing act, but you can do it. You just have to give a bit more of yourself and open up to it. It is scary, I know, but you get rewards for dropping that guard.


answered 02 Apr '11, 15:07

The%20Knights%20Alchemy's gravatar image

The Knights Alchemy

First of all love is so powerful and is such a part of us human beings to want to be connect to another human being in a personal way an maybe even become one with them. There is nothing wrong with you wanted to find the person you want with all of your expectations. But always remember as you might have high expectations he may also.

1) Always work on your self both physically mentally, emotionally, and spiritually

2)Remove most are all excess baggages from past relationships that were both good or bad.

3)First impressions can be wrong on most dates because most people put their best foot forward trying to impress. They will not hold that but they will do it for a little while. Now if you get a bad vibe that is totally different than leave that person alone quickly.

4)Pay attentions to your own feeling how do you feel with this person do you feel comfortable and safe, happy and responsive. In other words sometimes your body and soul picks upon this person before you do.

5)Yes, you must love your self and remember he might be looking for someone for him as you are looking for someone for you.

6)Relax stop looking; concentrate on be being happy and improving things in your life

7)Visit places of interest like libraries, museums, take up cooking, art,go to coffee houses, take up dance, painting, craft, music, join interesting clubs golf, tennis, computer, drama classes

8)Take a deep breath and learn meditation, yoga, get massages, learn to open up all your charkas and increase your vibrational frequencies by being relaxed, happy, at peace, having confidence and a lot of charisma

9)Try to keep a smile on your face and really enjoy life one day at a time and feel what your body is feeling; life and the abundance of it

10)Get to know him as you come upon someone and as you both let your guards down you will see the real them and they will see the real you

11)Realize you are not perfect and neither will he be

12)Hold that thought of who you want and visualize him with all of your qualities you want in a man and see you with all the qualities he wants in a woman and see you both together and very happy

13) And lastly place this first and ask Jesus Christ to help you find your man with the qualities you will like for him to have and help you to have the qualities he would like to have in his woman and ask Jesus to help you all to be very happy together

I hope this helps in some small way. Enjoy your self and enjoy life and improve upon different aspects of your life so that when he does enter your life you will be feeling so good about your self that you will instantly pick upon his vibrations and feelings and emotions he is radiating outward maybe without his knowledge and you probably will to without your knowledge until you both connect on so many other levels like the emotional and spiritual, before you connect on the physical and mental. I hope you all find each other and share the joy of loving each other through out life.


answered 05 Apr '11, 00:56

flowingwater's gravatar image


There's nothing shallow or unspiritual about inquiring about love. Love is the highest spiritual gift we have to give.

It's not about attracting love. It's about BEING love. Love is the essence of who we are. As Rumi says, "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers you have built against it."

To that I would add "remove" the barriers to love. Then you will attract a soulmate.


answered 19 Jul '14, 19:56

EliteSoulMateCoaching's gravatar image


love is a great energy, a powerful vibration. your soul is quite aware of what it needs in this specific life. it creates every single life that you go through so that it can go through all these different experiences. no matter how bad you want to have a mate. this might not be in your cards. i understand that the free will mandate says you can make your own decisions and create your own fate, BUT you higher self has a very great and persuasive way of guiding you to the experiences that it demands of your physical existence. what i am saying is that if your soul desires this life to be a life without a mate, well then you are probably not having one. again free will allows you to choose what you wish but if this life is one that was supposed to be one that is used as a teacher and a life mate will hinder this. then when you use your free will to try to attract one, one of two thing will most likely happen, you will have a hard time finding a mate and when you do it will be full of issues, OR it will have to adjust to the fact that you have a mate and only allow you to attract the one that will not hinder your path for teaching. i know that this is a bit confusing but i promise, if you stay positive through this, you will get what you need and what your heart desires.your ability to stay positive through this will be the true factor of your happiness. even if it doesn't involve what you think it does , you will still have great joy in fulfilling the intended purpose that your soul requires. i hope that this helps! love n light , rob


answered 02 Apr '11, 18:08

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

edited 02 Apr '11, 20:59

ursixx's gravatar image


I think Eddie'. Comment is right on target. U need to keep loving ursef first but though not in a Narsissicist way. Whenever u find ursef in a relationship which u like at least, endevour to reciprocate love and learn to sacrifice too. It takes two to tango.


answered 03 Apr '11, 02:40

Debo's gravatar image


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