it´s amazing how our body talk to us...some days ago I had fever and woke up in the middle of the night with one thought I never knew I had, so clear and strong ...and which explains a lot of things that seems to be a constant in my life.

to make it short, my mother died the same year I left my home city to go to drama school with the dream of becoming an actress...that left me and my brothers alone, but I decided not to come back home and keep studying abroad.... after I graduated I got some jobs acting or dancing but never made it big or continuous...and my story is full of jobs lost in the last moment when everything was supposed to be done and always being the "bad lucked one" ... I knew I was somehow sabotaging myself but the other day with the fever, it came to me like a flash the idea that I was punishing myself for leaving my brothers alone and that if I never success I would be fixing it or something...

have you ever experience that kind of flashes? and how can you release that amount of guilt or self sabotage once you see it so clear?

hope my question is not too long or difficult to understand..Thanks for any answer!

asked 10 Oct '12, 16:49

mariamaria's gravatar image

mariamaria
764

edited 11 Oct '12, 06:14

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦
11411

2

sounds like you have some beliefs such as: "i am not worthy enough", "i am not good enough", "i don't deserve good things in my life, because i left my brothers" etc. perhaps you should try to dig into and change these beliefs with the manifest experiment 4. wish you all the very best!

(10 Oct '12, 18:11) releaser99

thanks releaser99...having a look at the experiment now :)

(11 Oct '12, 13:41) mariamaria
showing 1 of 2 show 1 more comments

Hi, keep it simple and remember one thing: You choose what you experience by choosing the meaning you assign to the circumstances. Choose new story you will tell yourself and to the world and you will experience the essence of that story.

My mother died the same year I left my home city to go to drama school with the dream of becoming an actress..*so what? You did the best thing you could do, keep following your dream and you will not miss a single important moment of your life. The death of your mother has nothing to do with it, except the meaning you choose to assign to it. Say thank You to this belief you imposed upon yourself to protect you and move on. I bet you mother would be proud of you if you followed your dream unconditionally. So leave the mother and brothers out.

I knew I was somehow sabotaging myself but the other day with the fever, it came to me like a flash the idea that I was punishing myself for leaving my brothers... good to know, don’t You think? So what is the message? ....sand love to your mother and brothers for giving you this reflection. Time to go on. Take your mother and brother along with you, they belong to You, You belong to them. Anything that feels less than that is an indication of bogus thinking. So shift your focus.

Remember, you can start choosing new experiences now, right now. You do not have to go through any long processes of reframing limiting beliefs, searching for the beginning of the cause or look for any excuses or justification. You are aware of what is holding you back and it is enough. Acknowledge its existence, you will disarm it in a way and take it with you for your new ride. GO on in following your dream.

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answered 11 Oct '12, 08:21

Pijer's gravatar image

Pijer
1963

Pijer, thanks a lot for showing me another point of view and explaining it so clear!

(11 Oct '12, 13:47) mariamaria
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