Someone made a crack at me today, was totally a joke but it really hurt.
It stereotyped me with what I feel are terrible things and I'm nothing like the stereotype. I know I can be sensitive but I don't see that many other people who deal with such issues either.

I have nothing against the guy who told the joke, but with God for how others view me. That they can't seem to see who I am.

Is this a good place to use a focus block? How is it possible to change the way the world views you?

thank you.

asked 17 Aug '10, 21:05

Back2Basics's gravatar image


edited 23 Aug '12, 05:30

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

Becareful of your own limtations. Are you with the mind set from the begining that the world has or will have a wrong view of you? If you do, STOP IT! lol. Don't take it personally if others joke. They may envy what you have become. Be Happy!

(18 Aug '10, 06:45) RPuls

@RPlus: With other experiences it does appear to me that the world has the wrong view of me. It is hard.

(18 Aug '10, 18:30) Back2Basics
showing 0 of 2 show 2 more comments

Yes, a focus block would be appropriate here. Its purpose is not to change the way the world views you, but to put you in a better feeling place so that you are more effective at handling the situation.

  1. He doesn't really know me that well anyway
  2. He didn't mean to hurt me
  3. I don't need his approval
  4. I feel good about myself anyway
  5. I know that what he said doesn't really apply to me
  6. I can be gracious about his comment, and others are impressed by that
  7. It doesn't matter when other people say or think about me.
  8. I am secure in who I am.
  9. God loves me for who I am...etc

You can also do something that changes your state, like engaging with someone else in conversation, or playing music, etc.

You can also introspect, and identify the belief or habitual thought pattern that is causing you discomfort. Once it is identified, you can choose to keep it, or to discard it. Focusing is an excellent way to accomplish this.

After you are centered again, let your friend know that his "joke" is inappropriate, and that you feel that it doesn't properly represent you. Most real friends are sensitive to that, and will make the necessary adjustments.


answered 17 Aug '10, 22:02

Vesuvius's gravatar image


edited 17 Aug '10, 22:07

@Vesuvius - Thank You.

(17 Aug '10, 22:21) Back2Basics

If you were really secure, you wouldn't need to justify it with none of 1-9. Affirmations are what they name imply - TO AFFIRM and SOLIDIFY uncertainties. In that sense, saying "I'm secure in who I am" is then dangerous act of locking yourself in illusion of security. Instead, to thine own self be true and admit you are not secure because of this and that. Then address those reasons, ask why until you figure it out and kick them out of your life.

(23 Aug '12, 05:48) CalonLan

Byron Katie has a wonderful healing method (called "The Work") in regards to things of this nature. Take your statement:

I am frustrated with God for how others view me. That they can't seem to see who I am.

Now ask yourself these four questions.

  1. Is it true? (that people don't see who you really are.)
  2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? (get frustrated with God)
  4. Who would you be without the thought? (happy, great attitude, interactive with friends)

Then turn around the concept you are questioning, and don't forget to find at least three genuine, specific examples of each turnaround. For example:

  1. You don't see others as they really are
  2. God gets frustrated with you on how you view others
  3. etc.

Watch Byron Katie's video segments on "turning it around" there are six of them on the right side of her webpage. These are mind blowing, life altering turn arounds.


answered 18 Aug '10, 06:24

RPuls's gravatar image


edited 18 Aug '10, 06:55

@RPlus: I will watch these videos, creating an account on her website right now.

(18 Aug '10, 18:38) Back2Basics

We can never really know what other people think. Even those who try to tell us are very limited by language and the propensity we all have to interpret things through our own lenses. So, anything we think the world thinks about us is only what we IMAGINE the world is thinking. When we get offended or hurt by what we imagine someone implies or states about us, we are really getting upset by the very deeply hidden fear that what they said might have some truth in it. We never feel insulted or hurt when people make comments about us that are unquestionably UNtrue - we only get insulted if it rubs a raw place inside. That's why Byron Katie's work is so powerful (thanks RPuls). It helps us recognize that believing harsh things about ourselves doesn't feel very good, and that imagining a life where we don't hold those harsh beliefs feels a LOT better.


answered 26 Aug '16, 17:56

imaginesue's gravatar image


@imaginesue: you have some very good and helpful points. Thank you. But I do ask you to kindly rethink the statement that some part of it is true. In Thai specific case not the tinest part of it is true. If I were to explain in detail I think you would also agree. However, it still can hurt.

(23 Jul '18, 00:35) Back2Basics

Why should it be important to you how the world view you?

is it not more important to you to view your self properly?

do you want to torture your self about how blind view you or imagine that you are?

When they them self often do not view them self properly.

You blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.

how can someone blind view you properly? of course they cannot.

Most often in this world they will view only what they look for or understand. because they are motivated by their own desire to find stuff that can serve them or that they can profit from. they seek first their self praise and to look better over all other. To the young old seams foolish and to the old young seams foolish. the young have much more to learn and the old often forget that they where young also and even them have much more to learn, so what is there to praise one self over the other?

for many it is in the eyes.

make thin eyes single.

Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

Let there be light , be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.


answered 26 Aug '16, 20:01

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 01 Sep '16, 19:53


if you'll understand that you can get out of the "wounded" place and definition than you will stop call the other "offensive" and than...

you will stay with only the pain to release.

while having the definitions of wounded and offensive you hold in your mind also the definitions of "good and bad", while you are the good and the other is bad, and from this place there can't be any forgiveness or touching the pain thats in your heart. from this place there's only war. so let go , feel your pain, release it and than you'll feel great.


answered 23 Jul '18, 07:33

myself's gravatar image


edited 23 Jul '18, 08:43

your views of self is what
matters, social context, at
best, is half full,
only seeing straight lines


answered 27 Jul '18, 15:41

fred's gravatar image


You are probably not going to like this answer, but it is offered out of love and compassion and mercy.

How do you know that you are not the stereotype? Perhaps your anger is that deep down, you know you are.

Are you not more loving and compassionate than that hateful, sadistic, mysogenistic God that you speak of? Would you order the killing of millions or drown billions of living beings because a few "men" sinned? Would you order your daughter to marry her rapist? Would you really stone someone to death for stealing your goat?

I love the teachings of Jesus (with the exceptions of those that were OBVIOUSLY added to the text), but I hate the teachings of Christianity. Those Christian teachings (that I call Xian - meaning Christian without the Christ) make people do terrible things. If you find yourself a red letter edition New Testament, and stick only to the words in red while Jesus was still alive - skipping over ALL the words in black, so many of which have been PROVEN to be lies, you will find an amazing truth that is nothing like the worldview you have been indoctrinated into. Jesus taught a magnificent philosophy. Xianity teaches the horrid philosophy of Paul that turns people into harsh, judgmental, angry people.

You say you are angry at God, but the god that you speak of cannot be real. If "He" were, this would be something to be terrified of. Jesus spoke of love, and love is real. It is a power.

Some things you might want to know Jesus wasn't from Nazareth. That town was destroyed in 250BC by the Assyrians. It wasn't rebuilt until 150 AD.

There was no call from Caesar Augustus for all the world to be taxed. Romans were excellent record keepers. The only census/taxation done was local, where tax collectors went door to door assessing the value and collecting the taxes. Think about it. The Jews hated the Romans. Why would the tax collectors in Bethlehem know that Joseph was coming? Why would Joseph tell the truth about what he owned? What if the tax assessors would have valued the house and lands at a higher value? If you think about it, it makes no sense.

How could Jesus have gone into Jerusalem on an ass AND the foal of an ass at the same time?

Then look at the "He who is without sin cast the first stone" story. It was added nearly 1,000 years after Jesus' death. It doesn't appear in any of the early Bibles. In fact, if it had happened, both the man and the woman would have been brought forth - according to Jewish law at the time. There have been other added stories as well.

Now look to the Crucifixion story. That has been made up as well. If you look to the oldest texts available, you will see that the one you think you worship was released unharmed. He was known as bar abba - meaning son of papa. In this case, part of the story was deleted. The words bar abba have been Helenized into the name Barabbas, and Barabbas was made out to be a thief, whereas in the earliest texts, he was perceived as a god. Remember that at the time, there were many who were trying to foment war against the Romans to get them out of Israel. This was an act of treason. To get the Jews to rise up, many called themselves Messiah. This is a known fact. So what happened was that the traitor, "who is called Jesus, the Messiah", was cricified, while the one who spoke an amazing message of love and mercy was set free, as of course, if he was telling the truth, he would have to be. As what he taught is testable, and you apparently don't dare test it, it is no wonder that you are feeling angry at a god that Jesus abhored.

Jesus wasn't even a Jew. He called them heathens and hypocrites. He belittled their High Holy Days. He didn't follow Jewish law, and scoffed at it, pointing out that we are much kinder than the God who made such hurtful laws.

If you understood the glorious message of Jesus, and you dared TEST that message, You will find something that is so astounding, that you will run away from your religion of cruelty that has done so much damage to the world. There is something far more glorious than a world with God. As bar abba said, the kingdom of heaven is within you NOW! Don't believe anyone who tells you something else - such as it's where you go after you die.

He railed at the Jews, saying that they are like dogs that guard the door (to that amazing place within that I call the mindscape or Christ Consciourness), but don't go in. Today's Xians are the equivallent of the ancient Pharisees. Perhaps the one who made the comment that hurt you is simply better educated than you are. But - the truth sets us free. It really does! If you are not searching for truth, you are one of the blind leading the blind.


answered 29 Aug '16, 07:37

Gail's gravatar image


@Gail people are not mad at God they are mad at man according to their understanding that is not perfect made of it. You cannot blame God for man error. as for the kingdom of God is with in you that is the spirit made in the image of God. when the flesh is gone(death) the spirit is free to go back above to the kingdom of God where all the spirit of light are. Jesus know this he said I know where I come from and where I am going but you do not know where you come from and where you are going.

(29 Aug '16, 19:56) white tiger

this place as nothing physical in it. nothing is hidden. that is why darkness does not go in to the light. For every one that does evil hates the light, neither comes to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. you do not have to wait to die to go back there. that you stay there or come back is your choice.

(29 Aug '16, 20:06) white tiger

knowing that the world is learning not perfect and make error. is it not better for the people to seek truth and understanding and have mercy on each other at the place of seeking to accuse to judge and to blame. since other do the same.

(29 Aug '16, 20:54) white tiger
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Hello I do understand how you feel. I come from a family of gossipers and being the black sheep of my family I have always been the topic of scrutiny and judgement and the sad part of it all I am truly nothing like anything they perceive me to be. Some people have nothing better to do than to judge others for what they don't like and see or understand about themselves. People judge others by what they don't like within themselves. It's kind of a reflectory response to their own insecurities.

Because of my belief system being an Atheist and all, I have been stereotyped by many because of what I may or may not believe in and in this world of eventual Oneness shouldn't it be irrelevant of what my individual theorems are. I am not typical whatsoever of what may be defined as a true Atheist. I am always growing and expanding my belief system by learning new philosophies and ideologies and I am always open to new possibilities. But my curse is that I am a realist and can be somewhat limited to a world discernible only by what I can see or touch.

That being said I try my very best to never ever judged others for what they may or may not believe in or what path they choose, their likes or dislikes, their interests, their career choices and so on ... as we can all learn from each other. Where one individual may excel at, another may be found lacking in, together we can learn from each other to be more complete human beings.

I simply forgive those who try and undermine, insult or judge me as I know deep down WHO I TRULY AM and knowing that my personal path is always one of continuous growth. And if you resonate in that frequency on a regular basis and are confident of who you truly are, these little voices and chatters will eventually disappear and the veil of hypocrisy and ridicule will cease to exist. And eventually you will see that the world will view you in a whole new light.

Thought is creative ... and if you form negative emotions to what was said to you or done to you, eventually that thought becomes a part of you ... which is NOT... WHO YOU TRULY ARE. None of us are perfect and we all have flaws which makes us so unique from one another.

Forgiveness is universal and it's free and it has the greatest benefits to your overall personal growth therefore alternating negativity into a more purer positive energy form which in turn will change how everyone perceives you and how the world will view you with new found respect and love. And it will change how you may perceive yourself as a being of light which in turn allows others to see your true loving and caring self.

I hope this helps a bit ... as I am a only a being who has and still is transforming in so many ways. I could never ever be perfect as perfection is merely a foolish ambition of the EGO which only opens new doors for failures and disappointments. Instead I am merely a humble individual trying to find my place here on this planet in this universe nothing more. How others view me Is not really that important as to how I view myself ... well that is everything.


answered 24 Jul '18, 17:16

Moonbeam's gravatar image


edited 24 Jul '18, 17:44

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