I am not sure if this is the right platform for this question. But since it fills me up with a lot of sadness and anger against those people who dont treat my parents well, I thought I'll seek some guidance. Any help is appreciated.
We recently visited a family friend of ours who had invited us for a evening tea. There was another family visiting aswell and we were told about it. Since it was just the lady of the house whom we were close to, we were to meet the rest of the people for the first time.
The other family also were meeting this family after a long time.
My parents are very simple,shy people who have led a simple life and do not know the ways of the high living people. They are happy the way they are, in the environment they live in and are respected and loved by the ones who know them. But because of their simplicity and not knowing what to talk with the well lived people, they are usually conscious of talking.
The other family who were visiting seemed nice people and were in very good positions in life and had traveled well and lived well.
The purpose of the meeting was to introduce us to the other family and them to us and to get to know each other well.
What happened when everyone met left me with absolute bitterness and do not understand why my parents should go through such experiences!
As soon as the lady's family members joined us, they ignored my parents completely. Didnt introduce themselves to my dad and kept conversing between themselves and dint involve my parents in the conversation one bit. The two men who sat talking dint talk a word to my dad and I was extremely upset and dint know what to do. Both my parents sat quietly, listening to these men speak amongst themselves. I had made friends with the kids of the families and I was conversing with them but couldnt help noticing how lonely my parents felt sitting amongst the crowd not knowing what to do.
When it was time to leave, there was a brief good byes and people dint wait for my dad to wear his shoe and left him alone to walk back to the gate. I was in tears watching this kind of a treatment to my parents.
Why does such things happen to such wonderful people like my parents. They have never harmed anyone and never think ill of anyone and they keep to themselves and love all people who come into their lives. My dad is a gem of a person and I hate it when people dont respect him and treat him badly because of his appearance. He never complains about it either. He passes such things of saying, such incident happen in life and we should take it in our stride. But why should we? I so much feel like insulting those people just like the way they did, though it does seem very immature.
While I had a good company and things were pleasant for me, why dint those people treat my parents well? Is it something like, my parents attracted such experiences into their life? Am I helpless in wanting a nice life for my parents?
Cant I manifest things for my parents?
asked 22 Sep '10, 09:31
I totally hear and understand you.
First, who cares about those people. Maybe it was for the better that they never became friends.
I understand that you want the best for your parents. You want them to fit in and be respected. Maybe you also want to have them live the "high" life?
It is very caring of you to feel for them the way you do. I admire that and have had similar questions and experiences like that with my parents.
I do see you perspective:
Sometimes other people are just no good. For all you know the man could be a crook in his job, un-faithful to his wife, have messed up kids, etc.
I agree, they could have at least tried to include your parents in a conversation and then if it didn't work out I can understand BUT they didn't, so i do see your point.
With that being said, your parents do not need people like that in their life. Perhaps they knew that as well and were just their to humor the other family that invited them.
Seek more abundance in their life with your manifestations, not to be accepted by idiots.
answered 22 Sep '10, 18:02
Thanks for listening Back2basics. It means a lot to me :).
(23 Sep '10, 12:52) Destiny'schild
You mention, "My dad is a gem of a person and I hate it when people dont respect him and treat him badly because of his appearance." Look at your statement. What is it about his appearance do you think people are disrespecting him? Unfortunately, we don't always see things through other peoples eyes. You may perceive your parents as shy, simple, keep to themselves people. Others may perceive this behavior as stand offish, close minded, un approachable.
I think you need to get more facts before judging the behaviors of these folks. Did you visit with your parents and be the conduit for them to mingle, instead of observing them from a distant and feeling upset on how you were percieving the situation?
In The Spirit Of Understanding, I Am RPuls
answered 22 Sep '10, 12:24
Thanks RPuls. I dint look at this incident from your perspective. Thanks for making me realise that others may perceive my parents shyness differently too. And in my surroundings, children are not allowed to assert their feelings in front of the elders. No matter what, I can only be a spectator to whats happening around. Hence could'nt get my parents involved in a conversation with others. If I could do that, I guess it would have been easier for me to leave the incident behind long ago.
(23 Sep '10, 13:07) Destiny'schild
Guess there is more to learn for me from this incident than what I thought it was all to be.
(23 Sep '10, 13:08) Destiny'schild
I tend to look at this from a different perspective than Rpuls.
Isn't it possible that this experience was attracted into your life for a reason and you could be looking at it from a different perspective to your parents.
" My dad is a gem of a person and I hate it when people dont respect him and treat him badly because of his appearance. He never complains about it either. He passes such things of saying, such incident happen in life and we should take it in our stride." - It sounds like your dad is a gem of a person and doesn't let such superficial behaviour bother him because he is comfortable in his own skin and knows who he is.
It seems that you could learn from his wisdom and I think when you do such situations will stop being part of your current reality. Your parents create their own reality and if you genuinely want to help them, just keep seeing them for the wonderful people they are and don't project any thoughts, other than uplifting ones, on to them.
I suspect that your parents are doing just fine and if you can just work on tweeking your own perspective a bit, I think you might see this.
Another question to ask yourself is - is it possible you felt a little inferior in the company of these people? Often what we project on to others is what we feel ourselves - just something to ponder, and remember complete honesty with yourself is the only way you can move beyond this.
answered 22 Sep '10, 14:15
Thanks Michaela. Honestly, I dint feel inferior. What hurt me was the sight of my parents being neglected. It pricked my heart when my father was left alone to walk back. And its true my father is above all these things and I should be proud of it.
(23 Sep '10, 13:00) Destiny'schild
It appears your focus was on YOUR parents and not the behaviors of others. There is much to be learned from that gathering. We all have different paths we walk in this life. Your parents sound like authentic and happy people.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”~ Eleanor Roosevelt
answered 22 Sep '10, 17:44
Thanks GS415. I will keep that in mind.
(23 Sep '10, 12:53) Destiny'schild
I agree with Michaela, that maybe you are projecting your own feelings in to the situation. I gleen from what you said that, your parents are happy with their lives and themselves, and that it was you that felt sadness and anger.
There is a great book written by Debbie Ford, "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers". Debbie Ford gives very good direction in to understanding your own feelings and why you react to circumstances the way you do. I highly recommend it.
Keep your thoughts of Love and Happiness for your parents and enjoy them. And, do nor worry about other people. If your parents want changes in their lives, they will make them. Just support them and love them. As for other people, you can not make them change they must change themselves.
Blessed Be, and best wishes. Randal
answered 26 Sep '10, 21:08
Thank you Randal. I will look around for the book. Best wishes to you too.
(27 Sep '10, 14:06) Destiny'schild
There is a saying that all men were born equal; but let us elaborate a little further, assuming you have a rich friend, and a poor friend. We know that the price of life is death eventually, so death comes along, and both of your friends had a Funeral, one of the Funeral's was lavish, and the other one was very simple. Now the question is where is your two friends’ soul/spirits going? Is your rich friend going to heaven, and is your poor friend going to hell? Think about it? But also know that from the dust we came, and to the dust we shall return, rich, and poor; it is the same for all of us.
So my dear friend, we are all one and the same, the educated, and the uneducated. We are all humans in a physical body, and when our time is up in this physical body we will return to the spirit form. So do not take the other people’s behavior towards your parents personal, as it appears, your parents were reserved, and did not go out of their way to mingle, or did not care to do so. Anyone can take the initiative to be friendly, so it is really no ones’ fault that your parents were overlooked, or ignored. You could have taken the lead to introduce your parents, and initiate a conversation on a topic of interest that would motivated both of your parents to participate, and to get involved socially.
Let’s start over: what if your father went around the room to everyone, introducing himself, and his wife, while shaking every ones’ hand, and sharing a funny joke that was causing everyone in the room to mellow up, relax, and simple enjoy each others’ company. Change the behavior, and attitude of a person, and you get a very different outcome. Sometimes the lack of exposure can cause people to behave in a certain way, and sometimes one person's expectation is higher than the other. So, I think you need to do some self searching, and reflection on your perception. Elevate, and liberated yourself to think positive, and carry this energy with you where ever you go, and you will amaze yourself! You are a beautiful creation of God, and so are your parents.
answered 27 Sep '10, 06:13
Inactive User ♦♦
Thank you Vee.. I will keep your words in mind.. Thanks for sparing your time.
(27 Sep '10, 14:05) Destiny'schild
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