It's pretty clear people respond well to stability and security. This bit doesn't bother me and is logical and makes sense. We all want to feel safe.

What confuses me is when people obtain this feeling of safety from an extreme need for structure, order, cleanliness, uniformity. Even this wouldn't and doesn't concern me in the cases where this person only needs routine in their own lives. But what about for those who are upset even by the sight of disorder. Any kind of chaos or things out of place, even in the lives of others or in situations with little to no bearing on their own lives, simply being around someone who is inconsistent can cause extreme discomfort for some.

I understand and agree we should all find what makes us feel good, but why is this so easily threatened by the actions and behaviors of others? And sometimes translate into trying to force our own methods on others in order to somehow add some validity to our own decisions. Relevant question, relevant article.

asked 13 Jun '13, 10:53

Snow's gravatar image


Most people demand stability, routines, structure, habits, comfort zones....

It's their belief systems of fear and viewing new experiences with a lack of fun and pleasure that prevents them from being more wacky and 'out there.' If there is any truth in it, I believe our @CalonLan lives this life in that style.

Life is about expanding, becoming more, demanding more (demanding more happiness)...Comfort zones are often a sneaky way of offering a refusal to expand and become greater.

One of the greatest ways to expand flow into your life is to get out of this comfort zone.....Either physically, or, as I would recoomend, pyschologically by expanding your definitions of what is and isn't fun and letting go of belief systems that dont provide the lifestyle or mindset you yearn for.

New = fun

Old = boring....Maybe I need to experiment with that a bit more...


answered 13 Jun '13, 12:10

Nikulas's gravatar image


This video found me a few weeks ago ..I think it says a lot to answer your question @Snow Do you dare to dream?


This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 14 Jun '13, 18:50

ursixx's gravatar image


wikified 14 Jun '13, 18:54

I dream too much. Very aptly put by wise associates, my super-ego is in the clouds.

I really like the video though, at ~5 mins in. Thanks for sharing. =]

(15 Jun '13, 01:33) Snow

Yea @Snow "The joy of learning to pursue your dreams"

(15 Jun '13, 01:43) ursixx

Some people seem to fall in love with their routines. If they can keep to their routines, then they have a sense of order, a sense of rightness, to their world. They dislike impulsiveness. They hate any little thing being out of order- bordering on Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Watch the movie, As Good As It Gets. Besides being hilarious, it points out how unhappy these people are and how miserable they make everyone else. It stars Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt, who both won Academy Awards for their roles in this movie.

I lived with a family full of these nuts. I swear to God, if the magazines on the coffee table did not look like they were in a doctor's office, my Mom would have a cow.

This sense of need for excessive structure is really a cover for controlling life, and trying to get a handle on those things which are uncontrollable, like money problems.



answered 13 Jun '13, 11:35

Jaianniah's gravatar image



i would disagree with what you said. Having a routine means having a routine. Period. It does not mean you automatically they worry a lot or are unhappy. You can have a routine and stay in the flow and have a great time or you can also have a routine and be too worried. Both kinds of people exist.

(14 Jun '13, 17:42) abrahamloa

i usually in certain aspects always stick to routine. And that gets me in flow. Its like a meditative state and puts me in a very beautiful conditioned state. I dont get flustered if something happens and todya i can't do my routine. I enjoy life for the most part... thats the reason i am able to tell there is another way to look at it. But yes 100% i agree that there are people out there who get flustered and have need for excessive structure need.

(14 Jun '13, 17:44) abrahamloa

I know you are talking about that kind. but wanted to give you the different angle on it too.

(14 Jun '13, 17:44) abrahamloa
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it is the nature of
material form to be
ordered, so as of her most
have grown to let it be so



answered 20 Jun '13, 21:46

fred's gravatar image


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