The last four days, my right eye has been hurting. This morning, i awoke, and it felt like a large knife was inserted into my cornea. It being a Saturday, i called the ophthalmologist on call at the all-too-familiar Medical Center in Danville, and she told us to meet her at the ophthalmology department right away.

My cornea was ripped down the center, and the surface of the rest of it was all "irregular" (whatever that means...). It hurt like He$$.

She put a contact lens "patch" on my cornea, which I have to wear for a few weeks until the cornea heals.

What with the heat, our ever-continuing money problems, and other assorted annoyances, I began to look at everything differently when we visited the hospital gift shop and I saw a book called, Keys to Passing Your Spiritual Tests.

I am now paging through the book, glad Wade bought it for me.

I sat outside just a bit ago, wishing that cold front would get here, and prayed and thought about everything, just sitting in the breathless dark night. I realized all of a sudden that I am a strong person, and yet I resent having to be strong all the time. Then I realized that I was not relying on God Power, but only my own. No wonder I feel exhausted, hot, and broken!

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So as I wait for the cooler weather to come, the sky occasionally flashing with heat lightning, I just pondered all of this and meditated on it for a bit.

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So I thought that I would tell you all a bit about my struggles, already knowing just a bit what I am doing wrong. But I am relying on you all to give me your advice and support, knowing that wisdom is the answer to tests of all kinds.

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All my Love to You,


asked 20 Jul '13, 23:51

Jaianniah's gravatar image


Everything is changing all the time and for the present period these changes are globally accelerating, here on IQ it's easy to notice that there are deep changes taking place. Yes you're being profoundly spiritually tested along with many other hypersensitive people, in fact we're all being tested in some way or another.

In times of change it can be hard to see clearly, however we do have an inner guide and that guide is our deep sense of happiness. Pay attention to your joyful ideas, inspirations, feelings and note them down. Later on you'll be quite surprised of how deeply insightful and accurate they really were.

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answered 21 Jul '13, 04:50

jaz's gravatar image


@jaz- Thank you. Your answer is a great help! Thanks for pointing out that deep sense of happiness. Wade and I were just chatting on the phone about the things that made us happy when we were children. It helped me to reconnect to my inner being. Thanks for the guidance. Love, Jai

(21 Jul '13, 12:48) Jaianniah

When things that I don't want, happen in my life, I don't look upon them as a test, or a distraction. I see them as signs, that I am not where I want to be, that I need to keep my focus on what I want. I see it as an opportunity to ask myself, "What do want instead of this?" Also, after thinking about it, I also count my blessings, focus on what's going right, or at least headed in the right direction.

If you are being tested, it is you that is doing the testing. In that case, winning is entirely up to you. There is no "outside."

Keep your eyes on the prize. But I see from your last sentence that you already got it: "however we do have an inner guide and that guide is our deep sense of happiness. Pay attention to your joyful ideas, inspirations, feelings and note them down. Later on you'll be quite surprised of how deeply insightful and accurate they really were."


answered 21 Jul '13, 07:57

Beach%20Baby's gravatar image

Beach Baby

@Beach Baby- Yes, as I said to @jaz, I need to reconnect to that inner sense of what makes me happy. I am pushing myself into exhaustion as it stands. Thanks ever so much! Love, jai

(21 Jul '13, 12:50) Jaianniah

Sorry to hear about your challenges. They are no fun, but the great news is that we are capable of seeing them through. Having gone through my own period of uncertainty, I have tried just everything that others say works. I tapped (EFT), read Abraham-Hicks (and followed several suggested techniques),read my bible, read several of the older manifestation books, wrote down my thoughts, dreams, and hopes, joined this forum, meditated, exercised, listened to Reggie Ray's stuff and followed his Earth Meditations, prayed, did my yoga, walked, worked with Stingray's focus blocks, did my affirmations, went to church and had folks pray for me, worked with several spiritual advisers, worked with tarot cards, meditated with Adyashanti, created several collages, had an aura cleansing, worked with the violet flame and decrees, called on my ancestors and Jesus, God, Archangel Michael. I am still actively engaged in most of the foregoing activities. I don't have any definite answers. I think it is helpful to find out what works best for you and it could be a potpourri of things. I think the most important thing is to connect to Spirit and stay within that realm and do whatever it takes to stay there. We are not alone and all we have to do is to ask the Universe for help and miraculously someone or something appears that will help. Please keep us posted.

Love and light.


answered 21 Jul '13, 18:28

Herculean's gravatar image



Hi Herculean
I am commenting on your post because the context is appropriate
You have looked and looked and tried and tried and in your own words, "I don't have any definitive answers" is the current conclusion.
That conclusion is the reflection upon which you are staring at yourself. (Physically and metaphorically)
Looking for something and seeking for something cannot be found in a reflection
Only having the something you are looking for can be found.

(22 Jul '13, 01:41) The Traveller

Shree, Prem, Shanti and Om


Thank you for sharing your courage.

If I may, I would like to help. It's not much but what is there to loose. Please send me your date, place and time of birth. Should you not know the specifics of your time of birth, please provide 5 significant life events with exact dates (mm/dd/yy) of when they happen. This is at no cost to you or yours, just a gesture of peace.


Aata, Aana, Aara, Aasa, Aaya

In humble refuge, I ask the permission to heal.


answered 21 Jul '13, 10:45

Lakshimisiddhi%20Saraswati's gravatar image

Lakshimisiddhi Saraswati

I was born in Oak Park, Illinois, USA at 5:36 pm on September 25th, 1956. I would enjoy an help you can provide. My email is Blessings to you for offering! Love, Jai

(21 Jul '13, 12:53) Jaianniah

Find a place to rest before you become a corpse. clean the inside of the cup with pure water until there is nothing false in you. let the spirit lead you in all truth. Until the 2 become one. Overcome leave the rags of Egypt and go above for a little while. you will see angels going down and up on the sons of man. the one that comes from above is above all. we speak of what we know and report what we have seen. no one can accept our testimony.

Let there be light. be the light that you can be. experience and enjoy.


answered 21 Jul '13, 14:07

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 21 Jul '13, 14:35

here's a translation into IQ language of @white tiger's text - "find a place of rest before you become a corpse" = use all the energy that you have whilst living. "clean the inside of the cup with pure water until there's nothing false in you" = transform all your negative energies into positive energies. "let the spirit lead you in all truth, until the two become one" = have complete trust in your inner most intuitions and put them into actions. "overcome the rags of Egypt and go above for ...

(22 Jul '13, 01:16) jaz

... a while, you will see angels going down and up on the son of man" = rise above the physical world of duality and you'll see it's made of dynamic negative/positive energy (the law of attraction). "the one that comes from above is above all" = source energy.

(22 Jul '13, 01:21) jaz
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