*Hi, I have some doubts when it comes to manifesting a lover, or as some like to call it, a soulmate. People usually manifest lovers through the famous wish list where you write, in a specific way, all the qualities and flaws you'd like that person to have...but I wonder just how much is too much? I mean, this is one of those rare manifestations where the outcome doesn't depend solely on your collaboration with the universe but also on that person or rather...her existence. Some people decide to settle for less so they won't be single forever, while others get so much into it, they almost "write a book" about their wish.

I kinda belong to the 2nd group and that worries me. What if that person doesn't exist? I guess the universe could send me the closest match but it's not the same. Specially if I ask for someone rather unique or as I've been told unrealistic. Supposedly the universe will give you anything you desire as long as you believe but when it comes to this, I think it's hard...what if the universe can't give me what I desire because it doesn't even exist?

asked 29 Jul '13, 20:17

Diamond93's gravatar image


You only need to believe....So It Is...Love and Light.

(29 Jul '13, 22:15) Roy

If it didn't already exist in some reality, it would not have been possible for you to think of wanting it: What are the practical limitations of what the Universe can manifest? . All you have to do is line up with that reality :)

(30 Jul '13, 04:31) Stingray

I think I understand, but at the same time I still feel insecure. I was told by some LOA practioners to keep it real and stop looking for something that'll never come or that doesn't even exist. I was also told that by following through with this "childish" mindset, I'd be left alone for the rest of my life, or worse, settle down for the something worst than I could get if I was realistic in the first place. I want to believe you but they were so harsh with me that now I feel insecure.

(30 Jul '13, 21:54) Diamond93

"I want to believe you but they were so harsh with me that now I feel insecure" - Or perhaps you felt insecure beforehand, which is why you enlisted the services of "LOA practitioners" (whatever that means), and so that course of action (from an insecure place) has just added to the insecurity? It might be worth considering why you are taking advice from people who make you feel bad. In my experience, most who are ego-driven enough to tell you they know what they are doing, don't :)

(31 Jul '13, 03:51) Stingray

Maybe that person exists, but maybe she/he doesn't want to be that person you expect them to be. Nobody's here to live up to your expectations. That's the first.

Second to go would be - Maybe stop clinging onto your insecure list of wishes.

And maybe when you start living your life for yourself without these imaginary ties, you'll find out at last what it's like to be living your life for yourself and for real.

And lastly, you better just forget what I wrote. Cause it doesn't matter. haha =).

(05 Aug '13, 06:27) CalonLan

I will, it didn't make any sense to be honest...

(08 Aug '13, 09:34) Diamond93
showing 1 of 6 show 5 more comments

Everything exists Diamond.

Your wish list drawn up by your lower mind is woefully inadequate compared to the one your higher self has drawn up

As Daryll/Bashar oftens says, your lower mind at its best simply cant match what your higher self has to offer.

Your wish list is ok as far as it goes, but don't go worrying if that one cant be fulfilled. The universe can easily accommodate that one, and the one your higher mind has drawn up too.

Trust your higher mind and try very hard to involve yourself in a "distraction" of some type until this happens.

That last sentence is the result of personal experience.Take that or leave it.


answered 30 Jul '13, 01:51

Monty%20Riviera's gravatar image

Monty Riviera

I would like to offer a different opinion regarding this. Try not to think in terms of humans, but just normal things in everyday live.

Look around you right now, and I would say 99% of the stuff around you did not even exist at all, or deemed to be impossible by some people in the past. We did not have computers, color Tvs, smartphones, pagers, artificial limbs and legs, and the list goes on and on. All of these stuff NEVER did exist in the past, it only came about because someone first envisioned them in their mind and made them.

So who is to say that you cannot "make" your ideal partner in the same way? Maybe he or she might not the person you are looking for right now, but you never know that the experiences that both of you go through together, the things that he or she is going to experience might eventually mould them into the "ideal" person that you have always been looking for? Who knows, maybe the person might be just under your nose right now!


answered 31 Jul '13, 06:10

kakaboo's gravatar image


There is no such thing as "trying" to manifest.

Here are Abraham Hick's 3 Steps to Manifestation:

Step 1: Ask

This is automatic. The moment you feel "lack", the moment you feel like you "want" something, you are already asking. You don't have to keep "asking" by continuously feeling "lack" and "want". The moment it happens you are heard. No need to continuously ask.

Step 2: Source Answers (It's automatically manifested)

The moment you Ask, it is automatically Given. You are not "creating" it. You don't have to keep "visualizing" (unless it is fun to you). The moment you ask, it is AUTOMATICALLY given.

Step 3: ALLOW (It's automatic - but your vibe and beliefs may slow it down)

The moment you want something. It is automatically manifested. When you Ask, it is immediately Given. The question is, are you allowing it into your life or do you have belief systems that slows it down, or worse, not allow it at all?

If you feel "lack", then you'll stay in the vibe of the "asking".

If you feel "appreciative", then 'll stay in the vibe that allows the answer.


So, in order to help you manifest this person...

First of all, stop asking for the person. Be appreciative for what is ALREADY going good in your life. That vibe will bring more good stuff and that is how you ALLOW the answer or the person you seek.

Second, you have to actually feel like you are worth enough to have what you desire - because, indeed, you truly are. Your soul is a spark of light which came from The Whole. You are worthy as much as anyone else, but to not feel that will mess up your manifestations.

Third, You have to stop contradicting yourself. If you want something, you have to believe that it exists or at least that it is possible. You have to limit your doubting. When you doubt yourself or your desire, understand that it is just thought and just because you are thinking such a thought that doesn't mean it's true.

If it contradicts your Joy, or your Compassion - then it is a BOGUS thought because you are a Spark of Light which came from The Whole. Understanding that, will help you see through the darkness (of contradicting thoughts).


answered 02 Aug '13, 21:59

arpgme's gravatar image


Interesting question. Personally, I think "the list" is done the wrong way. Manifesting a soulmate isn't like going grocery shopping, it's about BEING the person your soulmate would find irresistible. If you are going to make any kind of list, make a list of the gifts, qualities, characteristics and strengths YOU have that you want to share with a soulmate. Then the universe knows what you have to offer and sees you as abundant. Abundance gets rewarded. If you're making a list of the things you WANT from the other person, then the universe sees you as lacking. That goes agains the LOA as I understand it.


answered 19 Jul '14, 20:35

EliteSoulMateCoaching's gravatar image


I am trying to do the same but with a friend

I did choose the sex, the nationality and the shape :))), my main target is business but I want it to come from certain country so I am working on this scene = a friend who brings the deal, note that I want to manifest friendship too.

what if it is not exist? I believe as I could imagine her so she must exist. we come with our imaginations from the universe so they must match in some way, their manifestation depend only on the degree of our believe. but diffidently they exist unless we are not able to envision them basically.

Our last inventors imagined the machines, planes, computers... out of nothing and they had them all exactly as they visualized, I believe create humans from none is easier because when we imagine/compose certain character to have in real life, that comes from our own character, from our source, which already exist therefore they sure exist.

The formula is that if you believe their existence they do, if you do not believe they don't exist.

I believe the existence of my coming friend, sometimes not, but it's good to have balance between believing and not when you are doubtful so by practice universe will cooperate and the believe will win the non-believe.


answered 03 Aug '13, 08:56

r0la's gravatar image


This answer really resonates with me. I want someone who is my equal. Someone who really appreciates my humor my empathy the love that I give. Someone who possesses the same inner strength and is as tough as I am. I think I’m great. I know I am because people tell me I am. But all I attract are weak minded men who don’t see what I truly am. I want strong man not as a muscle head just someone strong willed and appreciates that in myself. I need someone I can share my stories and they can connect with me and enjoy my company as it should be. And be appreciated as a flawed human that knows she has flaws and is working on being a better person. I know I deserve the best. I just need a little more therapy. I want to be better to attract the best possible person I know I deserve. And I’d like to be attracted to them and be attracted to me!


answered 29 Nov '23, 01:09

RebelGypsy's gravatar image


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