I feel I am making progress with my worry-wart tendencies, but a big trigger is my grown son. I think this may have its roots in the birth experience. Labor was induced, since it had not started over a week after my water broke.
Induced labor is more difficult and carries risk of complications I didn't know about at the time. And in fact, son's ADHD could well be related to the birth experience, though we only became aware of this about five years ago when he decided to go on stimulant meds.
He is a brilliant artist and has many other positive characteristics, but as is typical of ADHD, has difficulty managing his life, including finances. At age 34 he is still struggling. I gave him a lot of my inheritance, supported his art school education, and am not able to help him much anymore. His father (we split when son was five) isn't able to assist. To son's credit, he's making progress, is working with a published author on children's books as well as doing freelance work that bores him silly but keeps some money coming in.
Just today I went into a tailspin of worry after I texted him and didn't get a reply back. He did respond when I asked him if anything was amiss and just said he was working hard. (Then I started worrying that he was burning himself out with work, as he has done before.)
Anyway, I'd appreciate some input on this. I know worrying doesn't help anything, quite the opposite, and I'd love to be able to just let go and trust in this area as well as my life in general.
asked 22 Oct '16, 20:51
It's great that you're making progress with the ww tendencies, since this seems to be strongly linked to the situation you're experiencing, as well as that you're conscient about the fact that worrying doesn't help and that you would love to let go and trust.
The answer you're looking for is almost completely given in your question. You know what is important, what is urgent, and I want to seize this opportunity to tell you only to continue doing what you are doing so well. Stay positive !
If anything, remember that your son has his own experience (and perspective) on what is happening - by perceiving your honest trust on him, he may use that as an important empowering tool to surpass this moment, and make both of you proud.
answered 23 Oct '16, 09:47
Thank you Samadohn. Yes, trust in him and in the outworkings of it all. After I posted my question yesterday, I remembered Bashar's tool for worrying. i.e. "I am choosing to worry about this right now. By worrying or being afraid of this experience I am attracting and choosing to participate in this experience." This is taking responsibility and acknowledging that we are the architects of our reality.
Then we can realize that we don't want that experience and choose to let it go.
(23 Oct '16, 12:49) Delphine
Acceptance is also crucial. If I am in resistance about son's ADHD issues, they will only become more prominent in my perception/experience. At the same time, acceptance of my concerns and worries. The tool I mentioned in my last comment is part of that. Accepting that I am choosing to worry. Bashar teaches accepting and integrating ALL experiences, whether beliefs or circumstances.
(23 Oct '16, 12:56) Delphine
In other words, Bashar teaches that integration means allowing yourself to believe what you don't prefer is what allows you to believe what you do prefer.
Thanks again Samadohn for your support and allowing me to bounce these ideas off of you. :)
(23 Oct '16, 12:58) Delphine
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments
Hi, The first problem with worries about somebody is that your thoughts can aggravate a distant anxious situation. Thoughts have a source and a destination, we think a thought , (the source), and it goes somewhere, (the destination), in this case your son. The best thoughts we can have toward our loved ones is to see them happy, contented and on their path, try hold that thought.
When somebody is very sick, we fear for them and these thoughts leave us and go to them most time aggravating the situation. The best thoughts for them is to see them up and about and loving life again.
The second problem or situation is trying to accept that our children have chosen a specific path on a soul level and need to work out their karmic debts and soul contracts.
My daughter has just left school and is pursuing a career in her passion, horses, and not engineering like her mother wants.
We all have individual journeys to follow and have lessons to learn, while we dearly want to lead or guide our children we also need to accept that their soul has its own individual needs that need to be seen to and experiences that need to be ticked off.
We all have guides and spirits that look after us and get us to where we need to be.
I also suffer from ADHD and am dyslexic too. These stigmas are some times just that,labels that try to keep us down. I run a successful business and have found solutions to keep me on track and stay focused. Nothing can keep us back if we want to succeed.
Trust that your son is on the path that he is meant to be on even if it doesn't look like it.
We all travel separate journeys and sometime by trying to help too much we actually hinder the path. Life is about self experience and self development. We need to constantly be asking for guidance and direction in our lives. If change is meant to happen it normally happens when we stop rowing up stream.
At time when I feel like I am banging my head against a wall I try to put my hands up, let go and see where the universe actually wants we to go.
We need to try pursue happiness rather than wealth because money will never be enough, society has convinced us that we need more and more stuff all the time. Some of the unhappiest people I know only have money.
I am 44 and realize that my children , now 18 and 16, must follow what makes them happy, not what makes them rich. But also understanding that they need to stand on their own feet and live within their means.
We all want the best for our children, but also need to accept that they have soul missions and soul journeys to complete, lessons to learn and chapters to write. We can't push them , or change them, we can only be there to offer guidance if they ask for it.
I hope this makes a little sense, Kind regards Etienne
answered 21 Dec '16, 09:44
Thank you @Etienne. Good to know you also have ADHD and run a successful business. Well done! I am totally on board with your pov that we all need to follow the path that excites us in life rather than making it all about the bottom line of money. In fact I always told my son, per Bashar, "Follow your excitement and you'll be supported." But every so often my ego kicks up a fuss. :)
Son is doing better now, btw. We work at being upbeat with one another and that helps a lot. Thanks again!
(21 Dec '16, 21:49) Delphine
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