Since I got into reading a lot of things about mind-power (some 9 months from now) I have changed a lot, for the best. I had always been a overlyshy, mousy person that needed help to aproach a stranger. If I was shopping with a friend or my mum I used to whisper to them what I wanted for them to ask the seller. I didn't like (or didn't dare) to approach stangers.
I also disliked to solve business issues over the phone, I hung up when the other person was rude. Now I use some soft irony to show the other person that I deserve respect as well. And I don't make a fuss about getting things done by the phone. Before I was always avoiding them.
And a lot more things...
But...(there is always a but), this 'new' me seems to disturb other people, friends and family. I never get a compliment, or nice remark...My questions are:
1) Why? What is it to them if I am more independant?
2) Why people in general take change as a negative thing? Is change a such a bad thing?
Thanks in advance!
asked 21 Dec '10, 11:47
Barry Allen ♦♦
showing 0 of 2 show 2 more comments
First off, CONGRATULATIONS! So happy that you are enjoying this "new" you.
Change is all there really ever is and a lot of people are very uncomfortable with it. They do not embrace it and resist it. And as we know what you resist persists.
They were more comfortable dealing with the old you for that is predictable and serves THEM better. Now you went and mixed things up (disturbed the peace as you may) and your actions might be less accommodating to their needs.
I think you might have to realize that the further you get into your development, there is a chance you might lose some people in your life for your new actions do not serve them anymore. These people as hard as it may seem no longer serve you either IF they can not handle your growth. At the same time there will be new and exciting "like minded' people on their way to you right now. Enjoy and I hope the people you love the most accept this wonderful new life of yours.
Might I add that from experience, the changes in ascent WILL bring some bumpy roads, it does not get easier before it is all said and done (and it is never said and done) but the reward is well worth it.
answered 21 Dec '10, 12:07
Thank you for your lovely words! I know the road will be bumpy but I feel so much better now that I think I'll be able to cope with that. At least I'll do my best. :)
(23 Dec '10, 14:24) BridgetJones09
Hi Bridget Jones
I remember reading somewhere that Einsteins teachers thought that he was barely literate!
I also read that Winston Churchills school report said that he would never amount to anything!
Take it on the chin and keep right on going the way you are.
If your being unappreciated and misunderstood your in very illustrious company.
answered 23 Dec '10, 12:50
Thank you Graham! That's really comforting. Wow, Einstein and Churchil!!! puffs chest
(23 Dec '10, 14:47) BridgetJones09
The "disturbing aspect" is coming from the fact that you are "moving". Old habits doesn't work anymore. This is annoying for people, because, as we all are, people are "lazy" or like "habits". It's easy, understood, not question to be asked, etc. Now that you behave differently, it asks them to change their mind too. And it's "energy consuming". So, this is the first reaction : "It-was-easier-before-you-changed" kind of feeling. ("Easier" must be seen as "comfortable".
BUT (There is always a but), as you are moving with a sense, your new way of life is better for you and this will be discovered in a second time by the people around you. Because you will be a more interesting person, etc. Profit will come for them too. At least the one who have a real relationship with you (not the one that took advantage of the past way of being - you may loose them, but it should be a good thing for you too :-) )
answered 21 Dec '10, 13:33
When you change and grow, you make the people around you who are not making the effort to change and grow insecure because they are afraid of getting left behind. Their feeling is justified, though their complacence is not.
answered 21 Dec '10, 16:27
"Their feeling is justified, though their complacence is not." Got me lost here... Could you expand over your last sentence, particularly over the word 'complacence'? TY!
(23 Dec '10, 14:32) BridgetJones09
@BridgetJones09: I figured that using the word "lazy" was a little rude.
(23 Dec '10, 17:26) Vesuvius
It is hard for them because they have been so use to the way you were your entire life - except these last 9 months.
When you grow sometimes the person may see it as you trying too hard and it may look unnatural to them. However, over time it will be come an effortless part of you and then it will not seem like there is a gap in your being.
One thing people may do when they start growing is to "make sure" others are aware of their changes by doign things to try to impress or "show" them through some other actions.
This is where others may get confused and lead to some of the things you mentioned.
But if that is not the case, you are fine, never feel bad to grow.
answered 22 Dec '10, 00:04
No showing off on my part. Now I am behaving like a 'normal' person. If this atraccts their attention in a bad way, the worse for them! Just puzzled about the bad response, although I am not seeking for any response at all. Thanks for your input anyway! :)
(23 Dec '10, 14:41) BridgetJones09
As you shake off your old cellfs, those around you (who await their cue in the game you have all played and are still playing) will react with survival instincts. To many, a self is something solid and stable, never to change or alter or grow or develop. Others have no idea who they'll be in the next interaction they encounter. As you alter your reality, those still upholding 'reality' will do what they can to uphold it, including hating on you and your changes.
Change is all there is.
answered 22 Dec '10, 06:57
You seem to be happier with the 'new' you. However, you also seem to be seeking the approval of others for the 'new' you.
And I think it is the fear that others might not approve of the 'new' you that if causing you to attract such behaviour from others.
If you keep enjoying being the 'new' you and start caring less about others opinions towards you, you will start attracting better from them.
There is no 'This person is doing this to me' or 'That person is behaving in such a way towards me' in an attraction based universe. There is only 'I am attracting everything in my reality, including the specific behaviour of others towards me'.
answered 22 Dec '10, 17:44
It's not only from my experience that I asked this question. People where I live use to throw on your face: 'You've changed!" Meaning in a bad way. My point was why change upset people. Thanks for your reply! :)
(23 Dec '10, 14:44) BridgetJones09
I have been going through the same thing recently, what I discovered that my family harshness pained me because I needed to work on myself from the inside. I needed to discover why I chose to be upset in moments like this.
answered 22 Dec '10, 16:40
I understand you... Only I am not exactly pained or upset...it's more like 'puzzled', you see?
(23 Dec '10, 14:35) BridgetJones09
I understand. You can't control why people do not agree and/or lack of displaying approval with your choices. Do you feel like you have a goal you are trying to reach? Has change been bad to you?
(25 Dec '10, 08:43) Hj 1
No, change has been good to me, I am very proud of what I have achieved. I feel so much free now... It wasn't a conscious goal, I suppose...My goal was to change my character into a more laid-back person, less moody or fretful. That I got, or at least almost there. :)
(28 Dec '10, 13:10) BridgetJones09
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments
Let us rejoice change together: out with the old Cloak on you, and in with the new Cloak on you. Turn around for everyone to see the new you, rejoice and share, everyone is near, yet far away, happy, happy days are ahead of you. Let no one shadow your doubts, or leave you behind, climb aboard for everyone to see the new you shine, and welcome you, not once, but twice!
answered 27 Dec '10, 03:11
Inactive User ♦♦
Thanks, Vee! Your words are lovely, I really really appreciate them! xxx
(28 Dec '10, 13:06) BridgetJones09
If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website
Keep up the progress. I loved hearing about it.
Thank you, Tom! :)