Hi Inward Questers!

I haven't interacted here for a while, but still read things here all the time. I'm always amazed by the clarity some of the commenters have. Right now I'm selfishly hoping to benefit from some of that clarity for myself!

Okay, so my question is: what are good techniques to try for some relief when you feel stuck in really bad-feeling emotional place?

I'm currently in an "emotional flashback", which is what trauma-healing people call it when something triggers intense emotional sensations that aren't really related to what's currently happening. I don't want to beat the drum of this vibration too much, but I had a difficult childhood, and the emotional frequency I've felt "trapped" in for a few days is very low and old. I feel terrified, hopeless, helpless, powerless, small, and in terrible danger. I've swung into suicidal thoughts many times.

I've tried every releasing technique I can think of over the past few days, and I've seen some improvements here and there, but I also keep swinging back to the really, really low feeling. I'm doing my level best to at least not add resistance to how I'm feeling, so when the scary feeling comes up, I do my best to feel it unless I'm too scared and I need a break. Honestly, I can't even tell if this is working to release things a little or not. But I do know from previous experience that it doesn't work if I try to shove the feeling away or pretend I'm not feeling it, numb it out, etc. So feeling it, it is. But I'd love to be able to feel more empowered when something like this comes up. Feeling as terrified, small, powerless, hopeless as I do... it's hard and scary when it goes on for days. I don't feel strong enough or brave enough to handle it, but I don't know how to let the "giving up" feeling happen, either.

My guess is, I feel as stuck as I do because I have a number of core beliefs that are very slow to shift left over from my early programming. I'm working on them. Two that are likely activated for me right now are:

One: I'm not allowed to be sad. It's very dangerous to cry. I'm definitely willing to cry, but some part of me is holding back. As soon as tears come up, they're gone again.

Two: I'm not allowed to be angry, that's even more dangerous. So I had a couple of blips of mild anger, but as soon as I look directly at them, they evaporate and I plunge into despair.

My goal feeling is just "relief" at this point. I would also love to be able to release tears or anger more easily, but I'm not sure how to work on that stuff. I would really appreciate your powerful IQ insight!

(A note: I often find old comments I wrote and feel amazed that I seemed to know what I was talking about more then than now! While looking through old comments, I found one from years ago, where I was apparently able to experience an anger release. My anger releases since then have been few and far between and I'm obviously still hung up on that somehow. MAN... this stuff is HARD for me. I'm so amazed and impressed/grateful for those who have more clarity and can share their perspective.)

Thank you. :)

(Techniques I've tried to feel better: sitting with the feelings (over and over), distracting myself with light comedy, uplifting music, a nap, going for a walk, stomping my feet, meditating, journaling, talking out my feelings, yoga, hot showers, cold showers, getting a hug, cuddling my dog. I've also tried to focus on how I'd rather feel, but I think I'm too stuck on the lower frequency?)

asked 12 Dec '20, 22:31

corduroypower's gravatar image


edited 13 Dec '20, 06:42

IQ%20Moderator's gravatar image

IQ Moderator ♦♦

Hi corduroypower,

First I must tell you that I know exactly how you are feeling. It is quite difficult to write about this and I hope I will be able to convey my message as clearly as I can.

You are fooling yourself over and over. Conceptually you want this low feeling to be released but in reality you want to work with it. Until you stop fooling yourself by telling yourself you are stuck, in a vicious cycle, no matter the techniques you use, they will serve short-term, but the low feeling will creep up again. You might ask 'why would I actually want to remain stuck?'. This all boils down to the habit of the mind. Your mind has entered a cycle to which it has become used to. This means that your mind is comfortable with this.

Now, as long as you don't actually realise in yourself, how important it is for you to feel good NO MATTER WHAT, you will still go in and out of these cycles. This realisation is not as easy as it sounds. It actually comes from the suffering you are experiencing in these cycles of low feelings and although you will tell yourself 'I want to feel better', you will not start until whatever thoughts in your mind you have will start becoming less important.

All this comes down to a decision, a real decision 'I feel good no matter what'. The thoughts that pull you down no longer affect you as you are able to look at them and then feel in your heart that they are not worth changing how you feel for them. Then, of course, something else may happen, giving you a new thought which pulls you back down into the low feeling state, the cycle repeats itself until you take the decision again. This is expansion.

This practice will eventually strengthen you and one day you will be faced with a new circumstance where in the past it would have created thoughts which pull you down, but you realise that feeling good has become so important to you that you will automatically NOT allow it to pull you down. I must qualify 'strengthen'. It will strengthen you as long as you are conscious that this is happening and although you don't prefer it, you acknowledge that this is happening for a reason and has its place in creation, just as any other 'positive' creation. It will not strengthen you but lead you to depression if you make yourself or regard yourself a victim. Know you are expanding not contracting.

How? Trust. This is not easy either. When you start trusting that what you are in right now and what you are feeling right now is JUST AS VALID as feeling good and joyful (i.e.NOT MORE VALID because you are focused on it as you are doing right now) you are trusting life and what it is reflecting to you right now. You may ask yourself 'how is this serving me right now?', reflecting your trust in life/the universe that whatever is being presented to you right now is valid and offers positive insight/learning.

During these low cycles, I have also helped myself by listening to Abraham Hicks on Youtube, specifically 'How to feel good no matter what's going on', 'How to control your emotions', 'Universe will listen to you', and Barry Long's 'Letting go of tension'.

I have tried my best to state in words what can't really be stated because it's more of a knowing feeling based on experience but I urge you to cultivate trust in life/universe and trust that whatever is present in your life now has a meaningful purpose.


answered 13 Dec '20, 09:17

nbd028's gravatar image


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