When I first came across the idea of the emotional guidance scale in the Abraham-Hicks book Ask and it is Given, I really felt a strong resonance with the teaching. It just made so much sense that anger will pull you out of depression and that so many people are stuck in the vicious circle of starting to move into anger and then having either themselves or the people around them react negatively to the anger and being pushed back down into depression.
I have struggled with depression, dissociation and numbness for a long time. I have spent quite a bit of time just allowing emotions and being OK with them. So I have had a lot of grief and sadness come up and I have got to a stage where I can just allow it to flow through and release it. It is a lot better than being numb!
I am aware, though, that there is anger inside me, but I cannot get it to come out. Every time I have tried, either on my own or working with a practitioner, I have almost immediately gone into a state of panic and not been able to breathe. Other times the anger hides behind the sadness or I find myself distracted by all sorts of things.
I am very aware of the healing power of anger and I understand that it can be push that is needed to finally break out of the depressed cycle. I just can't get the 'protector' in my mind to allow to the anger to flow out. I have tried using EFT and mirror work and reassurance and I am not getting there. I meditate daily and I have started using the self-esteem paraliminal.
I would love to hear from anyone that has some experience with this and has found a way to push through the anger.
asked 20 Feb '15, 12:27
I had a similar thing, I think (looking back, that is - I don't think I could have articulated it as well as you have here while in the middle of it!) where I eventually came to understand that anger was a vital bridge state of vibration that you couldn't just skip, but I had been so effectively trained to not allow myself to feel anger, that even approaching it from a distance caused panic.
With a lot of Abraham stuff, I have been finding that I tend to approach it as "they seem to be saying that this should be instant and obvious, so if it's not instant and obvious, I must be doing it wrong." BUT, slowly, as I stabilize at a higher vibration, I'm coming to see that (in my own experience at least) it's much more gradual. Much, much more gradual. So I would say that rather than having a single incident of like "Okay, now I am able to be angry!" my timeline was more like:
1) After a number of years of studying Abraham-Hicks materials, finally realize that I lie to myself all the time about how I actually feel about things. Start doing this meditation: The Most Effective Meditation Ever, which is basically about sitting and experiencing the bodily sensation of your own emotions. It's very simple and I rapidly diverged from that method, but my goodness, the first time I actually sat and allowed my body emotions to come up, I thought I was going to die. I knew, intellectually, that I was not going to die... but I still thought, you know, maybe I was going to be the exception. It was a pretty incredible experience that, in retrospect, makes clear to me how profoundly I had been trained to suppress my own emotions, as though I had grown thick scar tissue over sensitive skin in a last ditch effort at self-protection. So. I did this type of meditation for a while, then was able to take that idea of actually feeling my feelings into the rest of my life.
2) About a year later (I am, apparently, a really slow LOA study) it came to me that I could set the intention to be willing to experience anger. So I did. It would come to me in bits and pieces. It was really scary! I remember feeling intense terror at going into another room and, silently, fully experiencing extremely minor irritation with my partner. (Seriously, I had been trained by life to be a nutcase with emotional stuff.) But as I let myself experience tiny irritations, I experienced slightly bigger ones. I see, looking back, that anger and my fear of anger is all very tied up in a big life theme for me (and many people): caring what other people think. Eventually I manifested a thing in traffic that was PERFECT. There I was, in a stressful traffic situation, trying desperately to accommodate everyone around me (=trying to control how others felt, and so behaved toward me, with my own action), when a rude dude started honking and yelling at me for not being able to magically phase-shift through the construction in front of me. And suddenly all of my anger rushed in, and I didn't suppress it. I honked back. I yelled at him. I told him exactly how I felt about his entitled attitude. I have never lost my temper like that. (The guy looked pretty taken aback.) But the interesting thing for me was: I felt powerless. I got angry. And I did not then go into feeling guilty and bad for getting angry. I felt clean and pure and powerful. I felt like I had just taken a huge hit of pure oxygen or something. And as soon as I drove away, I was done.
And since then, I've felt different about anger. So in retrospect I can see, you know, I had so much terror and resistance about anger that I just wasn't able to do it all at once, even once I was open to feeling it, it was lots of tiny things until I was ready for something more intense. Not sure if that is helpful for you, but I have found that when I'm "stuck" in a place, it's sometimes because I'm trying to make a jump that's just too big to be comfortable for me at that time, but being open to a more gradual emotional process makes it move.
answered 20 Feb '15, 13:53
Thank you @corduroypower, it is really good to know someone else has been there and has got through it!
(20 Feb '15, 16:45) Antheia
@corduroypower - Great story...and I love this phrase " I felt clean and pure and powerful. I felt like I had just taken a huge hit of pure oxygen or something"...that's exactly how it feels to take your power back :)
(22 Feb '15, 06:37) Stingray
Excellent answer. There is a cultural taboo around anger, "women aren't allowed to be angry. Anger is silly. Anger means you are too serious. Oh he is violent." Inspirational
(25 Aug '18, 20:29) Nikulas
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments
why do you want anger?
anger does not help anyone.
many people use anger or show of anger to get them what they want in this world, but it is only a lie to them self and other. you see people give it to them because they love them or because in some situation they have no choice that they are angry at people does not help them at all.
look at a bull it see red go crazy in anger he hurts someone or get hurt. then it is put down
if you are angry about not being angry then I would say you are all ready angry enough.
why force yourself to be angry it is not you and it is false to you or from you.
if you need to make a parody to be angry in life because someone else only know and respect this and you have try everything else then do it.
but for all those that are always angry or make a parody of being angry to get what they want you are not helping your self or other. and eventually it is going to bring you where you do not want to go.
Why not have fun and do stuff that you like to do. go and enjoy your self. if you do not know what you enjoy, learn about your self and try new stuff.
Let there be light, be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.
answered 21 Feb '15, 07:10
Love the cartoon!
(21 Feb '15, 15:09) Antheia
I have read and heard of many people successfully using anger as a stepping stone and how beneficial it is.
Stingray has talked about it several times. Here's one of his answers. There was another one that I really wanted to show you but I couldn't find it. Maybe it's in the comments of an answer.
I was depressed for many years and I personally didn't go or used anger in any way to go up the emotional scale. At my lowest point I basically didn't care anymore about anything, I've read about Eckhart Tolle and Katie Byron who apparently are able to be at peace and content with their circumstances. So I started to practice some of their teachings, I didn't care about anything else but feeling a little bit of relief. I didn't care if my circumstances changed (I had actually lost all hope of making any real change) so I thought: "If I can at least feel a tiny bit better and make it more bearable it would be a good thing".
Any tiny bit was good, it was like a sip of water in the middle of the desert. I obviously would have like a whole jar of iced tea/beverage and a pool in the shade, but just a tiny sip felt so good that I kept my mind focused on that.
In about 2 months I improved my mood beyond expectations and I realized that even in my lowest points through the years I was actually far far closer to feeling good than I realized. Abraham talks about this, about how no matter how low you find yourself you're only 30 days away from the vortex. I of course wouldn't set myself a deadline like that, but in my experience I can tell you that no matter how lost or how low you feel you're closer than you may think.
It's like a rear view mirror: "positive feelings in life are closer than they appear" :-).
Having said all that, I had many deep long clearing sessions and anger came up at some point during the process. But it came naturally in the middle of the sessions.
My advice would be not to focus that much on that anger. Focus on your present moment and any feeling/sensations that you have right then and there. Don't try to tap into that anger, etc. Just clear what's on your plate in front of you, as you clear it another plate will surface and you deal with that one, etc.
So, from your question, I'd focus on clearing that panic and inability to breathe, as you let go of that the anger may surface or another thing entirely, and whatever it is it's ok.
The sedona method makes an analogy to the plate dispensers found in some restaurants, that if you pick some up, the mechanism will keep presenting more. You cannot take the plate from the bottom of the stack, just the ones from the top.
Hope it helps!
answered 21 Feb '15, 13:13
@Kriegerd, again, a wonderful answer. Thank you so much! This is very helpful.
(21 Feb '15, 15:07) Antheia
@Kriegerd - "Stingray has talked about it...[snip]...wanted to show you but I couldn't find it." - This one perhaps? : Why are people mean to each other?
(22 Feb '15, 06:34) Stingray
@Stingray, I had mixed up two of your answers hehe. I wanted to show her the answer you mention but also another one where you comment on the dysfunctionality of getting out of depression and later repressing anger and continuing the loop.
(22 Feb '15, 14:25) Kriegerd
@Kriegerd - Sounds suspiciously similar to stingrayipedia . My team of ruthless copyright-enforcement lawyers will be in touch with you shortly :)
(23 Feb '15, 05:40) Stingray
@Stingray - LOL. I had forgotten we'd had that conversation already. Funny how everything works, that was the other link I wanted to share to Antheia.
@Antheia - I don't know if you have, but if you feel like it, read the answers/comments from the link Stingray posted. All the best!
(23 Feb '15, 11:21) Kriegerd
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments
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