Loneliness is perhaps my biggest spiritual trap. I get a little bit down when I am alone for long periods of time. I live alone. I am somewhat limited in my capacity to get out.
I have discovered that prayer helps to a certain degree. But there must be other spiritual activities that will dispel loneliness. What do you, yourself do?
asked 24 Feb '11, 21:50
Barry Allen ♦♦
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I lived alone for many, many years. And during a lot of that time I didn't want to live alone...which is probably the worst kind of "living alone" you can do. :)
One of the things that worked for me in dispelling feelings of loneliness was simply to get out into nature and just be. I used to enjoy finding parts of woodland that were rarely visited and just sit there quietly, hidden away, just letting whatever thoughts were running through my mind, just run.
I still vividly remember a hidden tree hollow I once found intuitively on a forest hillside that I used to sit inside for hours on end (for years) watching the world far down below and just contemplating life. I found that any feelings of loneliness would just evaporate during those periods and I found some big insights about life coming to me in their place. You can get in touch with some very deep parts of yourself when you positively utilize these opportunities for solitude.
Eventually, I came to a point in my life where I stopped fighting the loneliness and accepted being alone. I reached a place within myself where being alone no longer felt like it was a form of lack in my life...instead, I saw it as a blessing.
And that's when everything changed...the relationships and friendships I had always wanted started flooding into my life.
I didn't realize it at the time but it was my honest and sincere acceptance of being comfortable with being alone that had changed everything. It was only my own judgement of myself that there was something wrong in being alone that kept me locked into that isolation.
I learned the value of self-reliance and self-direction during those dark days and now I look back at those times with immense appreciation for the experience.
Even though these days I'm no longer alone and instead I lead quite a hectic, busy, even extreme at times, lifestyle, I still enjoy my moments of solitude when I can get them...and I still manage to occasionally find (on my mountain bike) those off-the-beaten-track bits of woodland to hide in for a while for a bit of spiritual contemplation :)
answered 24 Feb '11, 23:24
I've read this answer so many times in the past few months. I love it. It's been so very encouraging, and I never said thank you. (?) Thanks, @Stingray.
(09 Sep '12, 10:09) Grace
@Stingray- When we don't want to be alone were alone, the minute were happy being alone were in the relationship. When were in the relationship we starting appreciating the alone moments again. Its a balancing act lol :)
Great inspiring story, thanks for sharing:)
(09 Sep '12, 10:21) Satori
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We are all alone.
This is a fact whether you like it or not.
Your consciousness is the only occupant within your perspective.
You can be surrounded by all of humanity your entire life and yet feel alone through that entire journey.
Even if you are with your soul mate, that person cannot jump into you to be your companion within yourself.
This is why we turn to the "so called" spiritual journey to fill this un-quenchable void of desperate singularity.
Some find an experience in such moments of desperation and usually describe it as "God spoke to me and said......"
But then there is a paradox within this loneliness.
In our singular experience, that we give attention to is what is reflected back through our five senses.
So when the attention within "NOW" is "I am lonely", the universal "Myself" looks back at itself through the filter of your "Myself" as a reflection of "I am lonely" at this point of reference.
So all of creation is reflected back through the filter of "I am lonely".
That we are all individually alone is a truth that cannot be changed.
But "I am lonely" can be changed, for it is a perspective that has been accepted as fact.
As long as this is a fact, (as a perspective) it is an experience that reflects back in every single interaction with reality.
You can be at a party surrounded by all your family and friends and in the midst of this celebration and companionship, when the observer is interpreting reality through "I am lonely" you will find people saying things like...
"How are you doing these days....?" and the inner perspective will automatically interpret that as a comment on "I am lonely"
"Did you cook this wonderful meal....?" and the inner perspective will interpret it as "Yes because I am alone and I didn't have anyone to help me"
"This is a great party....!" and the inner perspective will go "Yes and when it's over all of you will be gone leaving me all alone once again"
"We should get together more often...." and the inner perspective will go "Easy for you because you have a busy life and hardly any time left to fit my companionship within that until you are ready for me....but meanwhile...here I am...not being appreciated for what I can share in wisdom and company(companionship).....and I am alone.
The inner perspective changes every experience into an "Experience of That Perspective".
If the inner perspective is "I am lonely" the entire universe changes into an expression of "I am lonely"
This is what Jesus was talking about when he said "Ask and ye shall find"
"I am lonely" is the asking part of that equation, and the Universe (and everyone within it) acknowledging that you are lonely and helping you through compassion because of it is the "and ye shall find" part of the equation.
So the equation is complete and God is always helping us accomplish the "truth" within our perspective by inspiring everybody in our lives to reflect back this "truth" within us through our friends and family.
So is this an utterly hopeless situation where we are forever destined to walk a lonely path of introspective loneliness...?
That all depends on how one understands the paradox and magic that is possessed by the "self"
What if "You" as the self begins to realize that each and every one that is around you is an expression of the greater part of yourself and that everyone as an individual has the same needs as you because everyone is another "Yourself"
How would you see YOU if you see yourself within everyone else looking back at you?
Because this is exactly what we do in every moment including "I am lonely"
What is your vision of "I am not lonely?"
In the exact condition within which you exist right now what would a vision of "I am not lonely" look like?
What are all the people in your life, your neighborhood, your town, your city, your country doing in your expression of "you know.....I used to be lonely but now I am ......."
Everybody around us is hypnotically influenced by our inner anticipation of how we believe they are likely to treat us.
When in a crowded room, (or not) Whatever script we run within the context of "I am feeling this way" creates a hypnotic influence that sets the reaction within everyone that comes in contact with us.
In a crowded room, (or not) when we run the script of "I am lonely" we hypnotically influence everyone in the room to ignore us, because this is the power we possess.
"Ask and it is given"
So how would you treat you from the perspective of everyone you know if you were not lonely?
Would you pick up the phone as "them" and call you?
How do you describe "them"?
If they are the "them" that do not call you, then that statement hypnotically influences them to "NOT call you". Because we possess the power of Ask and it is Given
How we anticipate the behavior of others within ourselves is the hypnotic influence we have upon them in how we choose to be treated by them.
Our anticipation is our "Asking"
Our acknowledgement is our "Asking"
Our observation of our situation is our "Asking"
Our description of ourselves and our situation is our "Asking"
That last line should be repeated a hundred times until the light bulb goes on.
So we are alone within our perspective, but we don't have to be lonely because of it.
We can incorporate the others in our lives within ourselves and threat them as if they were us.
"Tread others as you would treat yourself"
The real truth within that statement is that you treat others as yourself and you treat yourself through others as you would treat you.
None of what I am speaking of here is the Physical part of how you treat others.
I am talking about how you envision in your imagination how you are being treated.
The physical follows how you imagine you might be treated by others.
You decide how others physically treat you by imagining how are feeling right now because of how they have and might treat you in the past and the future.
How you are feeling right now sets everything in motion.
And if that feeling is "I am feeling lonely right now" then that is the script everyone follows in treating and reacting toward you for that is the power of God working through you.
So we have to envision what is the opposite of "I am lonely"
And it cannot contain any concept of "lonely"
It cannot be "I am not lonely because...." since that phrase is based on the concept of "lonely"
Is it "I'm surrounded by so many wonderful people because...."
Is it "I'm so excited about this Wednesday because my neighbors are coming over for tea?"
Is it "I love putting on a pot of coffee and helping out the postman/woman to take a short break and shoot the breeze for a few minutes every day?"
You decide what that vision is like and treat yourself through the perspective of others within your vision as if you were them. (For this is the truth within the greater perspective of creation)
You have to practice this until you are normally living it as an anticipation of what you expect to happen to you.
This is not the law of attraction.
It is the law of REFLECTION.
Attraction implies that you don't have it yet.
REFLECTION implies that you are already there and you are anticipating the evidence of it.
answered 27 Feb '11, 07:36
I enjoyed reading your answer, and I like your rational!
(28 Feb '11, 03:30) Inactive User ♦♦
Thanks Vee. Since I tend to put down my answer as a conversation, sometimes it's hard to know where to stop. This was one of those.
(28 Feb '11, 05:29) The Traveller
I enjoyed reading your answer and rational too traveller! Thank you
(28 Feb '11, 08:06) daniele
(28 Feb '11, 16:34) The Traveller
I hope that @The Traveller wanders by again soon
(30 May '14, 00:27) ursixx
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I suffered from this for many years between relationships. I didnt want to be alone and it wasnt thru choice i felt this way.
I felt it was almost a curse and hated the lonliness far more than i hated any form of lack in my life.For me this was an enemy which i got madder and madder at.
Im not sure quite how the manifestation happened that sorted this out for me. I just knew that God/Universe/Source was with me, and against the loneliness. The realisation that God wanted me in a good relationship as much as i did spurred me on.
With the hicks teaching i feel that half the battle,in fact 90% of the battle is knowing that God always responds to prayers and desires.I sort of got that revelation ( although not as clearly as i do now) 5 years ago. I didnt understand much about manifestation but knowing i had already got an answer from God helped me thru the dark days.
Ive got a similar battle now,but its not on the relationship front.I do now what i did then and lean VERY HEAVILY on the fact that Source has heard,understood perfectly and in a hyper intelligent way responded to my desire.
That is whats kept me going,thats what keeps me going.For me it was never about living with lonliness or accepting it. I admire those who can, but in my case i saw it as the enemy and was determined to wipe it out.
Sounds a bit extreme,and it doesnt fit into any particular belief system.But its how i coped.I guess my religion such as it is ,is very results focussed. I didnt want to live with the problem. I desired a manifestation...and i got one.
answered 25 Feb '11, 10:40
Being alone does not necessarily mean being lonely. I suggest that you put your imagination to work and create such a beautiful world within that you may never want to leave home. I practice this all the time and have fun with it. I travel all over the world meet exciting people and be whatever I want to be all in my mind. This helps to raise your vibrations and you may even get inspirations for what you can actually do.
answered 24 Feb '11, 23:04
I am blessed with children so I am not alone for long periods of time.So I look forward to the times that I can be with myself.Was trying to think of when I felt loneness.Even though I am not in my homeland and far from my side of my family. I used chat a bit to pass the time and socialize. and then again I am the kind of person that can and does talk with anybody.(even myself). So I would summarize that the internet has kept me busy.
answered 25 Feb '11, 06:35
To be honest with you, I live in a household of 7 and still manage to feel lonely sometimes (I miss the sunlight!) What I usually end up doing is eat (thank goodness I am raw vegetarian and don't gain weight!) When there's no more room in my stomache and the aches of loneliness and homesickness persist, I go up to my room, turn on some music and dance! Music and dancing are a tremendeous source of joy for me and they truly help disspel my loneliness!
Thank you, namaste
answered 25 Feb '11, 18:42
Point for the music and dancing not the eating, more music and dancing less eating. Music lifts us up it elevates our mood. :-)
(26 Feb '11, 03:49) Wade Casaldi
I agree with you Wade, but food truly consoles me :)
(26 Feb '11, 10:00) daniele
Got to admit,foods a great consoler and pleasure to me too. I have to be very carefull.
(26 Feb '11, 11:08) Monty Riviera
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The feeling of being alone is a very natural ability, and people in general will feel alone for various reasons!
Do you have a lot of spare time on your hands? What can you do in your spare time to help someone else in need, or what talents do you have whereby you can work part time from the privacy of your home to make some extra cash, and to fulfill the void in your life?
Frankly, you do not have to feel alone. You can start a woman’s once a week Chat Group from your home, and net work along the way. Be creative, and resourceful, and you will do fine. Create the life that you want for your self, relax and enjoy it, and more power to you!
answered 28 Feb '11, 03:16
Inactive User ♦♦
I just felt I should share this wonderful link I attracted while asking my Higher Self (which is Google used in a strange way haha) some of my recent puzzling, frustrating questions...
And it simply states, transform your loneliness into un-loneliness.
So far, this website has become my new favourite website, even bigger than my frequents to IQ lately. It will enrich you <3
Apart from that specific question/answer about loneliness, there is an entire string of questions on loneliness (same website) that may stick out more to you:
answered 09 Sep '12, 09:32
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J, when we are mindful all activities are spiritual
@ To everybody : wow great answers!!! am speechless !
Dalia, welcome to the wonderful world of Inward Quest! I am often "blown away" by the wisdom of our collective mind! (With apologies to those who fear the Borg!!! [From Star Trek] LOL!) Blessings and Love, >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>