I have read several answers that indicate that when we see behaviors in others that we don't like or even love, it is a reflection of something in us. I understand this to be true sometimes, but it can't be true all the time. For instance, a terrorist gets on a bus and waves a gun around. The people on the bus will get scared and have all kinds of negative emotions about this terrorist. That doesn't mean that everybody on the bus has a desire to wave a gun around. How is this a reflection of the people on the bus?
Another example that is more simple, but not evil, someone puts the toilet paper on with the paper coming over the top to make it easier to find the end. Another person comes in and puts in on backwards. This really bugs the first person who has a reason for the way they put the TP. So, how is this a reflection of the first person?
EDIT: My question is, what is it in the terrorist (I could have put murderer, rapist, molester, theif, etc...) that we don't like in us? Where do we draw that line of what is reflected, what is attracted, etc...?
asked 06 Jul '11, 12:54
showing 0 of 11 show 11 more comments
Sometimes it is a simple difference in perception. One thinks the toilet tissue should obviously be one way, the other person thinks it should of course, be the other. It isn't always reflection, although in this case of the toilet paper, it could also be a problem of one thinking that the other is too exacting or detail minded, a trait they don't like in themself.
The terrorist does not think he is a terrorist. He thinks he is standing up for what is right and taking action on it. He may seriously believe that in the long run he is saving more lives by the taking of a few. He is quite possibly a true believer. The others on the bus, of course, don't see it that way...they see him as a terrorist and a threat, plain and simple. So that problem might also be one of different perceptions.
I think most of the time when we don't like a trait or habit of someone, it is because we don't like what we see when we look in the mirror, but that doesn't explain away every interpersonal problem! Sometimes it is a difference in perspective, a genuine dislike, a grudge, a taking of sides .....
answered 06 Jul '11, 13:36
Thanks @LeeAnn 1
(25 Mar '12, 19:17) Fairy Princess
Looking at the terrorist example. My world does not include terrorists. It is what you are predisposed to look for.
For instance, I see a great amount of peace in my world. I have good friend who is a SWAT cop. We talk mostly about 3,000 year old Chinese culture. He has an air about him that is scary when in cop mode. Reminds me of my German Shepherd dog.
One day we went to Home Depot. He waited in my truck while I returned a rented tool. When I returned he was in cop mode. He went on to talk about a fight he had just witnessed in the parking lot. Apparently it was quite violent. He felt the two people were evenly matched and not hurting anyone but each other and decided there was no need for him to take action. He was off duty and had not been called to the scene.
I have not seen a fight like that in over forty years. His world is a violent place. He sees fights and crime almost everywhere he looks. He expects to see it. He feels it is his reason for existence.
He considers himself a sheepdog protecting us citizen sheep from the criminal wolves. He creates a world of violence. I do not fault his view of his world, and I guess there is a small part of me that feels the same as him, otherwise this would not intrude on my reality.
However I have found it necessary to change the subject to Chinese "Qin" bronze castings and the differences in Neolithic Persian bronzes and he becomes a different person.
And the negative/dis-useful things that intrude on my realty, I must accept the fact that I drew them to me, but as my wife says, "You may not be able to control the birds flying overhead, but you don't need to let them build a nest in your hair!"
We are here to choose. To direct our focus in the most loving and joyful way we can. Therein lies our happiness, our destiny. Turn your back on nastiness and evil and face your joy. They lie in opposite directions.
answered 27 Mar '12, 02:00
Great answer Dollar Bill! It's so true though. Observing people around me, I see how they meet with the same kind of encounters and people over and over, and it can somehow seem quite foreign to me. Yet I have my own things that recur in my life that they don't have. It really is interesting, the deeper you go into LOA, the more you can see how it really affects everyone and enyone.
(27 Mar '12, 07:40) cassiopeia
@Dollar Bill There is a Bible verse, that I can't find to quote, that talks about thoughts and being careful which thoughts you allow to take nest in your mind.
(27 Mar '12, 09:20) Fairy Princess
@Fairy Princess - whether we can or cannot control events, we can control our reactions to events. You are always free in your mind. See Viktor Frankl, "Man's Search for Meaning." He never felt more free than in a Nazi concentration camp. They imprisoned his body, but he was free! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man's_Search_for_Meaning.
(27 Mar '12, 19:52) Dollar Bill
agree with you Dollar Bill in truth you always have free will use it wisely.
(27 Mar '12, 20:19) white tiger
Yup, @white tiger, the wise use of free will is important.
(29 Mar '12, 14:36) Dollar Bill
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments
When I see something in someone that I don’t like it’s normally because that person has some character that rubs against my own character. Possibly the person is pompous, maybe their all talk but no action, maybe they are never polite, etc. At one time I use to get upset that these people even existed or at least that I had to be involved in some way or another with them in my life…(these people were normally individuals that I needed to interact with either through work, a volunteering opportunity, church, etc).
Now, I see these people as my contrast (a term used by Abraham). In acknowledging something about someone that I dislike, I now look deep within to see if there are times when I may act in a similar manner or portray a similar characteristic and if I find this to be the case then I determine that which I would like to be and begin my metamorphosis into that new improved me.
As for the specific situations referred to... The terrorist, this person is threatening me and my life. Thinking negative of them is my natural instinct as it allows me to do what may be necessary to protect myself. The T P scenario, well isn’t that what life is all about…choices? Who is to say that one way is better than the other? It’s all about my preference vs. another’s.
Unfortunately I allow my preferences to influence so many of my everyday experiences…i.e….in the TP example, if the TP is not as I would desire, then I allow a simple roll of paper to change or influence my energy level at that very moment. So, was it the person or the situation that influenced my energy? Well, to be honest it was me…I was the one who allowed the event to launch my negative reaction. (I recall in The Secret the example of the lady who tripped when getting out of bed and her whole day went down hill from there verses the next clip where she went with the flow and did not allow the empty toothpaste (she actually brushed her teeth with no toothpaste) or the run in her nylons, to launch negative emotions and she is just having a great day and even receives a free bouquet of flowers from a vendor as he is overcome by her positive energy).
So, no matter what the situation, event, or person; it all comes down to our own individual choice as to how we deal with it and how we allow it to influence not only ourselves at that particular moment but how far we carry the energy from it into our future.
answered 06 Jul '11, 14:46
yes offthen people cause their own problem and see the problem in other but it is really in them. what ever other people say if you judge them and let it affect you can you blame the other person for this or should you blame yourself for it. when you are able to understand this you can start changing your life and understand stuff that is neccessary for your evolution.
(07 Jul '11, 02:58) white tiger
Absolutely right @White Tiger! I completely agree! Well put!
(27 Mar '12, 01:34) Dollar Bill
@Fairy Princess "bad" is merely a judgement value. Undoubtedly none of us would like the gun waving terrorist and would deem that could never be part of our character or make-up. But who are we to say that if we had walked that same path as that terrorist that we would not be doing the exact same thing as him?
The potentiality for all exists within each of us although very few are willing to admit it. Sure the offender putting the toilet paper on the wrong way may irk us but if we're honest with ourselves and can look beyond our own personal perspective, the gun waving terrorist offers us as much of a gift as the one putting the toilet paper on the wrong way :)
answered 25 Mar '12, 21:34
Knowing that each and every reflection is brought to me by the Universal law of vibrational attraction (LOA) I know that I create my own experience of reality, by choosing the essence of it. This is either the truth of how reality comes about or it is not; I can't have it both ways. After joining the dots, that's how I see it, so it is true for me.
So here I am at the center of my Universe, offering all kinds of vibrational signals, based upon my imagination, thoughts, definitions, beliefs, feelings and behavior; my state of being. I'm clear about what I'm in the market to experience (my preference) and I'm clear about that which I have no desire to experience.
After seeing the evidence of my vibrational state being reflected back to me consistently and constantly as my reality, I trust that it always works in the way it does. Consequently, more often than not, I’m in a happy-feel-good state in which my mind is quiet and I'm in touch with my emotional guidance system...
Therefore, when that bus comes along, my gut says don't board it and as I now always listen to my gut, I refuse to board it. So I will not experience that kind of reality.
And you might say:
Well, why was that bus with the terrorist on board even in my reality. An exact answer may never be possible. However, the way I see it is that there may have been an old negative vibration somewhere and due to cause and effect, the Universe had no choice other than to play that out in some way. However, your higher self, you, will never lead your physical self, you, astray; but you have to be in touch with your feelings and your energy centers in order to receive its guidance.
As for the toilet paper scenario: when this kind of thing happens, I normally chuckle to myself. Because I know it must be a reflection of some minor negativity or judgment on my part. I practice the art of paying it forward and being considerate to others, especially those I will never meet; so it happens less and less :) If the toilet paper issue really is an issue for you or for anyone, then it might just mean that more understanding of the ego-self is prudent.
Another way to look at it is to say: OK, someone's on their way to your house to murder you, what will you do? The answer is simple: if someone's on their way to my house to murder me, I won't be home!
Can you trust the feedback coming from your higher self, through your emotions and your imagination, enough to act upon it? If so, and if you are positive, you will never have to worry about any kind of really negative scenario entering your life, because you are not a vibrational match to it ♥
answered 26 Mar '12, 05:43
Thanks @Eddie, that does make sense.
(26 Mar '12, 09:55) Fairy Princess
I have read several answers that indicate that when we see behaviors in others that we don't like or even love, it is a reflection of something in us. I understand this to be true sometimes, but it can't be true all the time. For instance, a terrorist gets on a bus and waves a gun around. The people on the bus will get scared and have all kinds of negative emotions about this terrorist.
This is not 100% correct and that is perhaps where all the confusion and thus the reason for your question comes from. Allow me thus rephrase your sentence. When we see behaviors in others that we don't like or even love, IT IS OUR PERCEPTION OF THOSE BEHAVIORS, that is a reflection of something in us.
So it is not the behavior itself, it is the meaning WE, based on what WE BELIEVE to be DEFINITION of that behavior, assign to it. Our perception of the thing is the reflection of US. So it is in fact true for ALL aspects in life.
Do you see the difference now? A thing or a behavior IS NOT reflection of who you are. And it is easily demonstrated. Take your first example with terrorist. And see if there would be a difference in your reaction/response when you actually experience it live yourself or see it the on TV screen in a movie. I dare to say you will not be (and for lack of a better word, pardon me) shitting yourself from fear when you see it on TV. Because you believe that on TV it is not real enough. It's a TV, an illusion, bunch of made up stories. But how so? It is the very same situation, yet your reaction to is NOT.
I hope this helps to clear out the confusion.
answered 26 Mar '12, 08:20
Thanks @CalonLan that makes a lot of sense.
(26 Mar '12, 09:54) Fairy Princess
@Fairy Princess And you are welcome ;)
(26 Mar '12, 12:08) CalonLan
exactely what i have said. the terroriste is even more afraid then the people on the bus. if he was not scared he would not be a terroriste in the first place. if you know that he is more scared that you are, does it help you? or will you panic and be more scared then him? the choice is your. i do not say to not act with caution. do not let that perception become a judgement because you will hate your self. perception and judgement becomes very similar thoses 2 words are go hands in hands.
(26 Mar '12, 23:04) white tiger
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments
I am having this compulsion to expand my comment a little bit.
However, before that I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading the wonderful answers from
LeeAnn 1, Jim 1, Michaela, Eddie, CalonLan, & Dollar Bill. (They are the answers posted so far)
Now I want to focus on a little observation that is obvious once you "get it" but it seems to elude most people trying to get their head around the "attraction" phenomenon.
When we attract the experience of angry people into our experience, it is not, necessarily, because we are angry ourselves, although being angry will definitely contribute towards that attraction.
The attraction happens because the "vision" of angry people exists within our imagination.
We attract that which we allow to exist predominantly within our imagination.
Take for example the statement "Why is there so much anger in this world?"
Now what triggered such a statement to emerge from the lips of the person who spoke those words?
In order to "speak it" it must first exist in the mind as an experience or an idea.
In addition, if this "idea" continuously exists within the person who speaks those words, that person will attract the experience of anger in the world so that they can experientially participate in the moment of "Why is there so much anger in this world?"
This is all that is happening.
It has nothing to do with any meditative intent or any extreme focus on a particular experience.
It is the "casual state of mind" constantly repeating the idea "why is there so much violence"
It is a product of where one places their attention most of the time while they are awake.
That is all it takes to make "attraction" happen.
If someone invites us to a movie and we casually respond with the statement, I don't like going to the movies because too many teenagers miss-behave and throw popcorn & other things around, what we don't realize is that in order to make that statement, we have to imagine ourselves being in that experience within our imagination.
This casual "imagination" of being in such a situation and casually repeating that imagination within our privacy again and again all the way until the moment of the movie is exactly what it takes to INSTRUCT the universe to bring together all the elements necessary so that we can now "physically" experience our statement.
This is what attraction is.
All the other methods we discuss here are an exaggerated version of the same thing similar to comparing running without training and being tired quickly as opposed to watching an Olympic runner training for a marathon.
However, it's the same thing.
What is in our minds "casually" is what we are always attracting, and we are attracting it in the exact manner in which we are imagining it happening to us.
With regards to this question, once we dislike someone regardless of the reason, because the experience of disliking someone exists in our imagination, someone has to physically show up to fulfill the vision within the mind into a physical experience so that we can see the nature of our imagination in physical form.
Positive thinking by itself doesn't work because the intent behind the positive though is the desire to eliminate negativity.
Therefore, the actual intent is one of avoiding negativity, and as such, the actual intent is what materializes as experience.
A good way to analyze this is to pay attention to the experience of going to the toilet.
It is something we all have to do but we don't need to focus on the details.
Likewise, negativity is all around us, but we do not need to focus on the details.
Dollar Bill's answer sums up this approach quite well.
answered 15 Oct '12, 19:01
if you want to change the world,take alook at your self and make that change.the man in the mirroir should be how you want it to be using your free will and it should be the same for every one else.if the people on the bus are scared of the scared little shit that needs a gun,it is because the scared little shit used is free will to get a weapon and he does not know what he is doing. the proof is that he did not target the real problem is fear is obstacle is problem first inside of the cup and how it relates to the outside of the cup. if he would have stopped it at the source inside and outside of the cup, he would not be in that situation and would not be responsible of creating the same problem to every one else.but for that he needs to know that they will do the same. do you doubt that i am telling you the truth? you see it with your own eyes.it all start with a little stone that some one cast at someone else and the stone becomes bigger and multiply.who is with out sin to cast that stone? where are your accussers?i did not judge or condemn you. go and sin no more. if you do not like when people cast stone at you then why do you cast stone? do you not know that they will do the same?
here is one example you see it started small and more people cast stone(outside of the cup)) or judge(inside of the cup) if you did not understand what is casting stone:
answered 15 Oct '12, 19:26
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fairy princess if someone need to carry a gun maybe he is scared shitless. so is the people on the bus. for example 2 the other person might have is way also to use the paper. do you see the reflection? i will add this what if someone on the bus would not be scared of the person with the gun or for example 2 he knows both way he can decide to use one or the other or even have is own way of doing thinks what then?
Unfortunately one of two things happened to those brave enough to resist the 911 terrorist attacks. One they died first or two as in the third plane they won then then got everyone killed crashing to the ground but saving the pentagon. It seems like in such a situation when you know you are going to die either way it is better to act than go along with everything.
Let me try and describe the nature of the consciousness in both your examples. The passenger in the bus has a fear that they may be harmed in a situation that is violent and not in their control. This is the fear you need, to allow the universe to place you in the right place at the right time so that you can "live" through the fear and physically experience the fear of being harmed. The details of the event are up to the universe and availability of opportunity.
In the second case you only need to be irritated by other's behaviour to experience the example presented. But if you want guaranteed success, it helps to be irritated by people who switch the toilet paper around to their own preference. If you are upset enough about such behaviour it won't be long before it happens to you.
Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed."
Love the question!
will also add if you do not want it reflected at you stop doing it. other wise you will fall on that cornerstone.
@Fairy Princess This question is deserving of more attention - excellent question brought to my attention by the new box.
if you want to change the world,take alook at your self and make that change.the man in the mirroir should be how you want it to be using your free will and it should be the same for every one else.if the people on the bus are scared of the scared little shit that needs a gun,it is because the scared little shit used is free will to get a weapon and he does not know what he is doing. the proof is that he did not target the real problem is fear is obstacle is problem first inside of the cup and-
how it relates to the outside of the cup. if he would have stopped it at the source inside and outside of the cup, he would not be in that situation and would not be responsible of creating the same problem to every one else.but for that he needs to know that they will do the same. do you doubt that i am telling you the truth? you see it with your own eyes.it all start with a little stone that some one cast at someone else and the stone becomes bigger and multiply.
who is with out sin to cast that stone? where are your accussers?i did not judge or condemn you. go and sin no more. if you do not like when people cast stone at you then why do you cast stone? do you not know that they will do the same?