I am in the midst of the greatest suffering I have ever endured.
Physically, I feel so horrible that death would be almost welcome to me...BUT! In my suffering, I have noticed things I never would have seen or believed to be possible...
I have found out that I am strong.
I have found out that God is near, as well as people who love and care about me.
I feel the presence of Heaven and angels...this might sound crazy, but it is true.
I have never been so trusting of God- never! I have placed myself in His Hands, and since my body is wracked with pain, chills, sweats, and so on, I have felt my spirit rise up to help me!
I find that I am grateful for small things...the cool water that Wade has brought me for my thirst...the aspirin that helps keep my body as even as it can be for now...the old, good movies I have watched to distract me...
I feel as though I am made of glass, and could shatter at any loud sound or rough touch, but there has been nothing like that, praise God!
I am in my own, personal Auschwitz, and yet my spirit is surviving...
I am stunned by the capacity for my soul to survive and push me on...Praise God for life!
asked 03 Aug '11, 07:15
showing 1 of 4 show 3 more comments
Peace. I think when it comes to these terms you mentioned about finding strength through difficulties and happiness through suffering, I think I can totally relate to you. I'm a Muslim lady by the way. I really think that the mercy of Allah (God) is more experienced and profound during our real moments as human beings and definitely things such as suffering and illness as well as sorrow and poverty is most definitely part of our human experience and its not something we can avoid because these things are Divine wills that happen regardless of our points of views or whether we agree or not because the matter of fact is that we are the creation, we are the servants, and our Lord is The Most Compassionate. A Muslim scholar was asked a common question that some many people have: if there was a God, then why do "bad" things happen, why do we see so suffering in the world? he answered: when something that seems "bad" happens , or the suffering that we witness happen in this world, know that it won't happen unless more good would result from it. Imagine if there was no suffering in this world, nothing called disease, no weaknesses, no hardships whatsoever, just imagine, would the world really be a better place? maybe we would become harsh people if the situation was so because we never knew or saw anything of what we can interpret as evil. Maybe we will lose our humanity because nobody then would be participating in charitable funds, maybe we will become deceived and deluded thinking that we are well off in this world and that our wealth could spare our spiritual side. Imagine you never had to shed a tear in your life, would have ever have knew to value happiness and tranquility? it's when we experience hunger then we know the value of the blessing of food, its when we suffer in sadness then we value the times of joy and tranquility and maybe then we will try to become better people, because we came to acknowledge the real value of such major blessings such as cold water, which probably in the past we took for granted. who said that goodness is some superficial moments of laughter , who said that every fit person is happy? who said wealth is the treasure of joy, otherwise for sure we wouldn't see many of the wealthy people including famous celebrities undergoing extreme measures to escape the sad reality they're in, and many sadly commit suicide, at the same time when you get a visit to a rural village in africa you can seethe bright smiles and joy in the innocent faces of the people especially the children, this is because to the most part their is something in their hearts related to good faith in Allah(God) which strengthens them with hope, contentment and share , Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the world
This answer is marked "community wiki".
answered 03 Aug '11, 13:48
Oh, Springflower! What a beautiful answer! I cannot say when I have read a more inspiring reply to ANY answer! You have captured the essence of the teachings of all the Great Ones- Mohammed, Jesus, Buddha- and definitely made me glad I posted my question. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Many Blessings,>>>>>>>>>>>>>
(03 Aug '11, 14:08) Jaianniah
Springflower I enjoyed this answer so I decided to help you. I did a little spell correcting.
(03 Aug '11, 16:35) Wade Casaldi
I see suffering as the enemy, always, and see happiness, health, fun, helping others and joy as my allies. I don't say this in any way to be rude or un-caring. In fact, I really hope you get better soon. I am glad you are able to find some positives in a bad situation and sometimes we have no choice, but I would personally be afraid to see light in suffering, or dwell on that, for fear that I would bring more of it into my experience. I have always felt that way. So I try not to pay attention to suffering and I try to avoid it as much as possible. I don't think it's necessary for personal development, and it seems like those of my family and friends who see it as a good thing, seem to always have it, so I would say be careful about finding good in it! Maybe I am wrong, but this attitude has seemed to serve me well!
answered 03 Aug '11, 08:33
Thank you, LeeAnn. I AM in the light; if I was not, I assure you I would not endure this. It is because of the Light that I am alive at all. I am trying to see in the suffering what Light is there. The Love of God is all that is gluing my feet to the planet right now. Bless you for caring!>>>>>>>>>
(03 Aug '11, 08:40) Jaianniah
Dear Jaianniah, You realy are full of grace and beauty to be able even in sufering see and feel Gods grace. Yes those who suffer somehow seem to be closer to God and his angels for I have witnesed this with both my parents and other relatives. It is the God within that is giving you strengh and courage to carry on and it is this same God within that can cause miracles to hapen. It is not for us to judge or say why things hapen as they do and I see that you have acepted your lot in life. Have faith for no mater what you never can tell what tomorrow brings. I have noticed you have put your whole burden into Gods hands and that is great for now His will shall be done and His will is your will.
Wishing you Love and peace and an end to suffering....Paulina
answered 03 Aug '11, 22:34
<with tears="" flowing!=""> Thank you so much...Thank you, Paulina. Though I am suffering, God has chosen to Grace me, shower me with sturdy and useful Blessings. I have Wade; I have my Pastor, Terry, and my church, who all are meeting and praying for me even as I write this...I will never forget this time of my life. It is as if I understand just a little better just what God Did for me so long ago through His Son...who suffered way more than I ever could...Thank you. Thank EVERYONE who has read this, and perhaps..has prayed a little...Blessings abound!>>>>>>>>>>>>>
(03 Aug '11, 23:48) Jaianniah
Suffering itself is neither good or bad. But it is an opportunity. its an opportunity to break the walls of your comfort zone and find ways to rectify the situation. otherwise people stay confined in their comfort zones, satisfied. but satisfaction doesnt work in this world which is continuously changing. either put in effort to become happy again, or stay passive and have a life of misery. everyone suffers, but not everyone grows always. some people build walls and become emotionally insensitive, thinking they have become stronger, and hamper their growth. now.... if one fails terribly in any way , one may either move on or sulk. one who moves on gains new experiences. but one who sulks, gets the opportunity to transcend the pain, or to continue. one who chooses to transcend the pain looks for ways to overcome it, thus this conquest forms his victory. one who chooses not to take counter methods continues to do so. he may become emotionally insensitive for a while, but sooner or later, he will bounce bak, may be in this life, or in the next. and then he will look for ways to overcome all sufferings. so its a process. and how much mileage u derive from ur suffering depends how pro-active u are.
answered 28 Aug '11, 19:12
well did you try to remove the suffering? by not letting it affect you. or by giving it to God. give the burden to God. experience and enjoy.
answered 29 Aug '11, 04:01
If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website
Thank you to everyone who has read this and perhaps said a prayer...it has really, really helped! Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow! <with joyful,="" grateful="" tears="">,>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
AN UPDATE: August 9, 2011: I seem to be through the worst of the ordeal...at least, I am far better than last night (had a seizure and scared Wade to death!). To explain: I have been on pain meds for three decades, and finally decided to get off EVERYTHING. It has been a hellacious series of weeks, but I am finally only on two meds to control the withdrawal symptoms...and am slowly tapering off them as well. I have done this WITHOUT hospitalization-I did not want that. I wanted to let God be the Healer, and He has! Many, many prayers have been said, and I am sure that they have helped.>>>>>>>>
I wanted to thank all of you here, for your answers to my many questions about this ordeal have really been helpful and caring. IQ came thru for me and I, for one, am grateful. Thank you so much!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
blessings and goodness to you Jai <3