recently a law of attraction teacher said that being truly detached means that you dont have to care whether you get the desired thing or not.But how can i fool myself to believe that ,if i truly need or want something( suppose i want to manifest a part time job ,i am in dire need of it ) and my life without that would be very tough.

asked 15 Dec '09, 17:04

blossom's gravatar image


edited 18 Apr '11, 19:19

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

As background, I would like to refer you this previous posting that talks about the difficulty of trying to manifest things you need, and this previous posting that talks about how need interferes with manifesting.

But it's not very helpful of me to tell you how difficult it is to manifest things you need though, is it? Especially when you sound like you need a manifestation in a hurry. (I'm assuming that your example is more than just a random example)

So let's try and improve on that unhelpful answer a bit. :)

Let's list a couple of manifestational facts:

  • 99% of every manifestation is complete before you see any physical evidence of it - the only way you know then how close you are to seeing physical evidence of it is not through your five physical senses, but you feel about it. Once you are genuinely feeling hopeful of your manifestation coming, the physical evidence will start appearing...reaching the emotion of hope about a manifestation is the tipping point.

  • The neutral point is your friend...this is a favorite saying of mine. It means that if you do not stand in the way of your manifestation, it must come to you. Standing in the way means looking at it and feeling any negative emotion about it not being there yet. Feeling neutral about it is good enough to manifest it eventually.

So what do we get if we apply these to your situation?

We have that...

  • Even though you might be on the verge of manifesting your part-time job, the only physical indication you might have that it is almost there is that you are feeling hopeful about it.

  • Even if you can't feel hopeful about it, as long as you don't feel negative emotion about it not having come yet, you will still get it eventually.

So let's deal right now with wiping out negative emotion about you not having the job yet...I would recommend learning EFT. It's quick, easy, effective and free to learn. There are lots of free videos on YouTube. Every time you think about your situation without a part-time job (and the implications of that), just use EFT to neutralize the negative emotion.

But it's not much use getting your job eventually since you want it as soon as possible, I presume.

In order to speed up the manifestation of anything, we need to flow more energy towards it. The purest way to flow energy towards something you want is to feel appreciation about it...the feeling of appreciation is actually an indicator of pure energy flow.

So to speed up the manifestation of your part-time job, start making lists of things about that part-time job that make you feel appreciative. Or visualize all the great things that will happen in your life once you get that part-time job. (I recommend getting a copy of Ask & It Is Given and looking at the manifestational processes listed there).

But here's the big twist in manifesting...since you are no longer standing in the way of your part-time job (we've handled the negative emotion with EFT, remember?), then any pure energy flow (i.e. appreciation) towards anything will automatically manifest your part-time job. This is because that pure energy flow of appreciation is flowing to everything you want at the same time. Sounds counter-intuitive doesn't it?

In other words, you don't have to detach from your part-time job to manifest it. You just have to not feel bad about it and then just use something as an excuse to feel appreciation - and that can include things totally unrelated to your part-time job.

Let's summarize.

The fastest way to manifest something you need (i.e. your part-time job) is the following.

Step 1. Get out of the way of your part-time job coming. Neutralize any negative emotion you feel regarding the lack of it.

Step 2. Now find anything in your life to feel good about and keep using that thing (or things) as an excuse for staying in that good-feeling place.

That's the overall strategy.

Notice I haven't said anything about taking action. If action is required, it will be inspired action. i.e. you will feel like you want to do it - there will be no force or effort required. You will know when this kind of action is necessary - it will be obvious to you.

This has been a quick and simplified crash course in manifesting things in a hurry. As I hinted at the start, manifesting things you need is tough but this overall strategy will at least get you heading in the right direction.

Hope you find all this at least a bit useful :)


answered 16 Dec '09, 00:36

Stingray's gravatar image


edited 08 Jul '16, 13:55


I was going to attempt answering this one, but Wow!! your answers are sometimes so spot on and helpful to everyone. Thank you:-)

(16 Dec '09, 02:32) Michaela

Thanks Michaela. You're welcome.

(16 Dec '09, 07:44) Stingray

Yes. I think I will skip answering this question as well.

(16 Dec '09, 16:55) Pink Diamond

Me three. A tremendous answer- which, btw, was helpful to me in a big way! Jaianniah

(17 Dec '09, 04:50) Jaianniah

Stingray, You are just awesome! You can wonderfully explain the things that you understand. This is a skill my dear friend. But really helpful.. Thanks!

(04 Jan '10, 06:22) Perfection

Thats awesome. You just helped me to recognize something about myself that I was not aware of. I have limited my social circle to almost one person and now with that person gone it left a huge gap and thats the gap that I am trying to fill. I have been selfish in sharing myself with others and I recognize the cause and effect in that. If I had more friends I would have more fun. But I am battling this on my own and I am not having much fun.

(22 Feb '10, 22:48) Drham

Again stingray, thank so much for your contribution on this subject. Thank you for your well explained answer.

(08 Mar '10, 01:59) Frank 1

You ought to be a teacher. Love your answers....

(16 Dec '10, 11:40) Pranay

Stingray is awesome as ever. Try writing a book! :)

(19 Dec '10, 12:36) Aphrodite

Thank you, Stingray! namaste

(25 Feb '11, 18:08) daniele

sooooo good. Outlined the uses of EFT here in a practical way. I was just about to ask what the point of EFT is in versus of just using abraham processes. Thankyou again Stingray. If you ever come to Perth, western australia, you have a most welcoming home :)

(23 Nov '11, 15:26) Nikulas

@ Stingray: Awesomeness at its best :) Just like Nikulas mentioned. If ever you happen to visit Mumbai - India, you have a home here too :) Thanks so much for your seamless wisdom :)

(23 Dec '11, 02:34) Sourabh

You've made it all so simple! :-)

(16 Apr '16, 00:07) Inner Beauty

@Inner Beauty - The basic ideas that underlie the way the Universe operates are all simple ones. The tricky part is that "simple" does not always equate to "easy" :)

(26 Apr '16, 13:53) Stingray
showing 2 of 14 show 12 more comments

There is a difference between being in a state of having versus being in a state of wanting. When you are in a state of having, you are focused on the things you want. However, when you are in a state of wanting, you are focused on not having the things you want, and that will hinder the manifestation process.

Being detached, as you put it, means being in a state of receiving, so that manifestation can occur. It means being unconcerned with the outcome, because you know the universe always provides. It is the universe's job to manifest. It is your job to ask, and then receive. When you do this, your mind opens to the opportunities around you.

In the example you gave of needing a part-time job, you can choose to feel desperate, which focuses you on the condition of you not having a job, or you can choose to feel grateful for what you already have, and confident that the universe will provide what you need, which will focus you on the things you need to do to (and the attitude you need to project) to get your next job.

Employers much prefer the confident approach.


answered 15 Dec '09, 18:16

Vesuvius's gravatar image


I can tell you this most of my life I have focus on the negative of not having or lack of this or that. My needs in other words and the more I spoke about I need this or that or how life just want let goods things seem to come to me the more they don't the more something seems to guide them some where else.

I didn't realize that by me speaking the negative and not the postive whether it was needing food, a car, a job, a raise, or etc. The more of the lack I seem to have. As Stingray so gently and simply put it for us all to understand.

I had to learn to realize to speak the postive into my life and to think the postive as the bible says the tongue speaks life and death it also can speak happiness, good health, a good paying job, prosperity, wealth,joy and oneness with the Lord. God call his self putting it so simply for us to understand but as for myself I look over it and thought it meant ok don't lie on someone it will get them put in jail, killed, break up their marriage or make them lose their job that was how I was thinking I was not thinking in a 360 degree looking over the good and the bad that we speak and think God was trying to let us know the power he has laid down at our feet the power he has given us in the words that we speak and the thoughts that we think.

I am going to tell you how bad off I was one time at work all of a certain I stop and realize I had been HAPPY all day an before I could even enjoy that happy thought I immediatley begin to say and think what is going to happen something bad must be fixing to happen because I am just simply happy. That is so sad I didn't even allow my self to be happy for one day even not even a hour the moment I came to realize I was happy I instantly rejected it I guess because into my head from out of no way I said it.

So, than I started to learn after re-reading that in the bible after many years of doing the same thing I reallize I can I have the power to speak life, death, happiness, joy, good health, wealth into my own life. I am also learning to believe I even I can have those things. I came from a family that believed that if you worked hard enought than you would have something. I can write a book on that; that hard work does not make you a very successful and prosperious person but it does and can make you a very tired, wore out, and unhappy person for working hard as you can in life and still can not pay your common bills let alone having some of the things you want in life.

So, say your prayers to God and Jesus about it, think and speak postive things about your part time job you already have in your mind, and find something to make you happy or put you in a happy state if it is day dreaming about making enough money to pay your house off and go on a nice vacation and actually go there in your mind or build you a dream house or whatever it is that makes you happy.

I am starting to do that and I am begining to see the changes being made. I know it is hard but just pretend to be happy for a while and it will put you in a better vibrational frequency to have the things you want that makes you happy. Don't forget Jesus says ask anything in my name and you shall have it anything an really believe you have it already; claim it for it is already yours. I hope this helps.

And Stingray has outline a great deal to make you change your focus and thoughts on how to manifest things.


answered 11 Jan '10, 05:39

flowingwater's gravatar image


To keep it short, you just have to learn more about life. Realize your position in space and time. Build your own understanding about the inner workings of every little thing and the way the whole universe is connected. All without needing to learn scientific words for it.

Once you do that, you'll easily be able to choose what you really need, thus being able to de-attach from anything you don't. So you can't really fool yourself through reason alone, you need a whole bunch of reasoning about a lot of stuff and actually learning, rather than fooling, why you want what you want.

But, on a side note, it's actually possible to fool yourself. That can happen if you're already de-attached enough to some aspects to a point that things will happen to your life and you'll think it's happening just because you want to, while it's truly happening because you're de-attached from it but don't realize. That's really hard to describe, sorry if it's confusing.


answered 18 Mar '10, 19:26

Cawas's gravatar image


I think that it's not so much that you don't care, but that you don't have any thoughts about it that would get in your way of attracting what you want, or what you think you want. If you write on your paper that you want a new mate, but you think about it daily, and how that mate would interfere with your lifestyle, or how sad if you didn't find a mate, or if the mate was not right for you in some way. So, you are actually protecting yourself from gettina a mate, because of thes things that you are thinking would be bad about having a mate. So, you would use the EFT to neutralize those negative emotions about getting a mate so that you can attract a good mate, not resist finding a mate, which is the oposite of what you think you want, to find a mate. Another interpretation of not caring is that you trust that it will come. If you have doubts, then you are not trusting. These doubts could be that you are not worthy of love, or that nobody could find you attractive, so you would do the EFT on those doubts. You might have doubts about whether someone good enough exists out there, you can do EFT on that. Maybe you fear that the person is on another continent, so you doubt. Tap on that, but get to where you don't have any emotional blocks that keep you from manifesting what you want instead of what you don't want, the lack of what you want.


answered 24 Feb '11, 15:59

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

Do the things/processes in attracting your goals (visualizations, meditations, writing them down, affirmations, subconscious techniques, etc. -- whatever works for you) then FORGET ABOUT THEM. Go on with your day/tasks. Have a calm and confident expectation. Refrain from measuring results. Send good vibrations along the way. Let go and let GOD. God works in mysterious ways. It is like a thief in the night. More often than not, goals come when you are busy doing/looking at something else. Detachment from goals truly results to rapid manifestation.


answered 25 Feb '11, 15:01

Aphrodite's gravatar image


Your Inner Being, or Soul or Sub-Conscious Mind knows everything about you, your world AND the Universe. Your Conscious Mind doesn't.

Detachment has to do with your inclination to decide all the details about WHEN and WHO and HOW your stated Desire should manifest. It's about NOT telling God how to do the job. This is why we always ask for exactly what we desire and add "or better" at the end. Source Energy has resources we never dreamed of. Detachment is about getting out of the way so "All-That-Is" can deliver what IT knows is best for you. I've discovered that it's not unusual for Manifestation to be MUCH greater than I could have ever imagined. Detachment.

Many people confuse "Detachment" with "Allowing". Entirely different. In short, Allowing has to do with knowing "it is done" and getting on with your life as if it IS done without any resistance. Everything you have now actively Desired - already is. It is our resistance that keeps it from manifesting immediately. Resistance represents the old programs (memes) in our Sub-Conscious that no longer serve our purposes.

Thankfully, resistance is much easier to release than most may imagine. We have a built in "meter" that is constantly monitoring our resistances. It's been with us from our first breath. Sadly we begin to ignore it early in life, often because Conscious Mind or Body wants something not so good for us. Oh, it may look good or taste good or smell good or whatever - but we all know now that "that" may be totally bad for us. But we go for it any way. In his way we grow to habitually ignore the meter.

You'll be happy to know that your "Inner Guidance Meter" still works perfectly, I promise. And, get this, it only takes about 17 seconds to activate it at any time. Hear/See/Feel this: The meter is the pain you experience in your life. Could be physical, emotional, mental or even Spiritual. When you feel pain you are somehow in resistance to your own deepest and innermost desires. You are out of tune with your Inner Being and Source Energy. Resistant to the natural flow of Well-Being that flows through all of us.

The Antidote? Are you ready for this? Choose to feel good NOW. That's it. Don't let the simplicity fool you! Follow along here: Find a place in your heart - in your experiences, that makes you feel wonderful. Take your time. Remember it vividly. Do it now. Close your eyes. Feel it completely. After you get that feeling set in your mind/body/heart, tell yourself that this is your new emotional anchor. Like home base, for awhile.

Now, next time you catch yourself feeling bad, in any area of your being, here's what you do: Close your eyes and say "I choose to feel good NOW", touch your thumb to your forefinger (always the same hand) and go to that beautiful feeling place AND HOLD THE FEELING and image IN YOUR MIND FOR 17 SECONDS. That will switch your energy over to no resistance; hold it for another 68 seconds and your energy will STAY shifted into your beautiful new feeling. You don't have to stop. You can stay there as long as you like. Use as needed. Minute to minute, hour to hour or day to day. Eventually you will begin to feel good most of the time. And from now on, every time you touch your thumb to your forefinger this will signal your Inner Being that you choose to feel good NOW and that will make it easier and easier to go to this better feeling place whenever you want. I've witnessed miraculous healing take place just from practicing this simple exercise. This process has been validated in labs all over the world. Do it.

I want you to KNOW how powerful you really are. I share this info with you to help you EXPERIENCE the power you have over your own Well-Being. Detachment? YES. Allowing? YES. Resistance? I CHOOSE TO FEEL GOOD NOW. YES! Oh, and BTW - many desires can now manifest almost instantaneously - because there is NO resistance.


answered 14 Apr '12, 03:11

jogjr's gravatar image


Well, what do we have here? Most of us LOA practitioners have experienced that when we ask something then get detached, it comes so fast like magic.

On the other hand when we really need something and need it fast, for instance your part-time job or cash for mortgage payment, things go haywire and we crash and burn ALWAYS. Yup disheartened, frustrated and tired that we used that much energy and it was all for nothing. That's when we get more negative and start doubting LOA.

So my advice would be to get out of your own way. Lemme tell you what doesn't work first. -

¤ Finding the feeling place, if you're too needy. You want your part-time job quick and when you try to feel as having it already you constantly keep waiting for that chance phone call from someone with the good news or you doubt your abilities and you're unsure about what kind of job you wanted so you keep changing the demand.

And being hopeful is what makes us hopeless when we're needy. Because we're hoping for ways and results to happen and our hopes are being destroyed every next hour. So our negativity goes on full throttle. Because you want it so badly, you keep suggesting to the universe the ways or ideas of how to achieve it, and the crazy computer (our mind) keeps changing idea every minute. 'Okay not this way then how about that or maybe that!' So universe in constantly taking your order modifying it tirelessly, but you want result! ¤ So what you do now! This is so hopeless! Fret not I'm about to give it unto you since you asked, it has to be given :-D -

§ you're probably saying - 'but that's not me! It's my fearful mind that is making me do all this, be negative, change the ideas and everything! So I'd say kill the mind. Stay here and now. Just ask what you want with all the riders and conditioned included, be clear upfront then let go. You'll need faith for LOA to work and as long as fear is there there's no faith.

And the crazy things with us humans is that we've zero faith! So if you've no faith and lotsa fear take the easy way out. Ask and then let go. Just be present. Thought of 'is it happening or not' will keep coming along with other thoughts. Don't get afraid that it'll ruin the manifestation just watch the thoughts for what they are. That way you'll generate no feelings, and thoughts without feeling has no power.

So while you're at present enjoying or flipping or doing whatever just be here. And LOA will be working in background. And then because you asked and then didn't take yourself so smart as to give universe the idea about how it should be done, it'll be given to you. Meanwhile as you go fretting come back again to present. For God's sake read The Power of Now.

If I was not clear in someway about some point you can ask me. Over and out.


answered 12 May '13, 12:21

Pankaj%20Pal's gravatar image

Pankaj Pal

edited 12 May '13, 12:50

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

The questions and answers here are exactly the sort of stuff everyone should be looking at. The question is brilliant. Someone has a problem, they want a solution to the problem and they want it now! Lets get straight to the point. I would love a part time job for whatever reason, now lets get on with it! If the universe is going to deliver why all the messing about? I have a problem I am trying to solve and until I solve that problem I will have no end of problems. I do not believe we get all that we think about, good or bad, right or wrong. I believe there is another force at work separate to loa which keeps butting in and making sure we don't get what we want. I was born in July 1959 and in less than a month went out to Cyprus to live. |Do you think as a baby I could think about living in another Country? When does loa start? When are we able to say how we are going to live our lives?

The answers are brilliant too. Lets get it sorted once and for all. Someone wants something, in this case a part time job. Lets get them that job and cut the bull. Hope this helps Take care Chris


answered 19 Apr '16, 11:17

Chris%20Fowler's gravatar image

Chris Fowler

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