It's time to unwrap those gifts, at least it soon will be for those celebrating Christmas. I got to thinking about the gifts I have received in the past, and I guess the gifts that I received were pretty good...I think the most important gift I received was not actually a gift, but an experience.

My best friend, Cathy, was expecting her first baby Christmas Day. Her house was bulging with baby stuff. Not only did she have the world's hugest baby shower, but she just got more things for Christmas, too. On Christmas Eve, she noticed that the baby hadn't been moving much, which can happen near delivery. She did call the doctor, and to relieve her mind, he offered to open his office on Christmas Eve to do an ultrasound.

The baby was dead.

She was devastated.

To her shock, all of her family and friends whisked away the baby things and played what she called "Let's keep Cathy busy". The small funeral was a nightmare.

On a night very soon after Christmas, I came over to her house to be with her, as her husband had to get back to work (they owned a restaurant). I asked her how she was doing, and she suddenly burst into tears, and almost screamed,"I wish they would all just leave me be!" I spent practically the whole night with her, listening to her tell of her grief and pain. No one else had done this for her-I guess they thought it would be best if they pretended there had never been a baby at all.

Me being me, I encouraged her to try and get pregnant again right away. My thinking was that if she waited, she might get too scared to try again. I guess I was a little crazy, but that is exactly what she did. By February, she was expecting again; I thought she was the most courageous person I had ever met. The crazy thing was- I got pregnant, too! We spent the next nine months indulging our cravings, playing Pinochle to all hours, and secretly, she and I both knew she was scared out of her mind.

So what was the gift? The gift I received was the key to my friend's heart and soul. I was honored that she shared her feelings with me. That was the best gift I ever received...This event changed my life. I learned that grief is nothing to be scared of at all...and that to deny someones's grief is really awful for them. I used what I learned from the night she shared her feelings with me many, many times in my life after that. I turned into someone who wanted to help and heal people. I have her lost baby to thank, and I do it in his memory.

Both our babies were late, late, late! The apprehension we all had for her was tremendous..but I had Megan on November 9th and she had Abby on November 20th...both perfectly wonderful little girls...and all the gifts from the year before came down from her attic and were now in use. The following Christmas was the greatest! The house was messy, the house was full, and there were two babies to celebrate!

Merry, Merry Christmas from Jai (2009)

asked 24 Dec '09, 18:47

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 24 Dec '09, 18:55

The question has been closed for the following reason "Question is off-topic or not relevant" by IQ Moderator 30 Dec '13, 18:37

I believe any act of appreciation or kindness regardless of holiday or no holiday time of year can make a difference.

I'll tell two stories about this that you may have seen passed around the net, I don't know if these are true or just legend but that is not important, what is important is that these could have happened or could happen.

There was a boy walking home from school, he was carrying everything he owned it seemed. Some other kids tripped him and laughed at him as he tried picking up his books. I saw this and decided to help him up and helped him carry his books. I said to him, "those jerks, here I'll help you." He said, "thanks." I said, "you sure carry a lot of books." He said, "yeah." I said, "this is my house would you like to come in and play video games with me?" He looked at me and said, "really, yes i would like that!" We sat there hours playing games then I helped him go back home, we became best of friends. Many years past and we were graduating from college together, it was time to give speeches, he went before me and had this speech to say: "I have so many people to thank but I have one I owe everything to even my life and that is my best friend! You see many years ago when we met I was on my way home, I had taken everything out of my locker because I did not want things to be hard for my parents. I was walking home fully intending to kill myself when I got home, I was tripped on my way and made fun of, so much for making even more want to do myself in. But then along came my best friend, at that time I did not know him but he helped me up and helped carry my books with me, we even stopped at his house to play video games for hours before I went home. I now had a best friend and did not feel like killing myself, we have been best of friends for all these years and today we graduate together, if it wasn't for his kindness I would have been dead for many years now."

Here is another story similar.

There was a school project that kindness spreads and creates wonderful results, everyone made two blue ribbons, one to give and one to be given. These were to show appreciation and that this person deserves this love, respect and honor as a good person. One ribbon was given to me at my bank, my secretaries thought I would be bothered by this child with these ribbons but I was happy to have him pin it on me. He said, "mister here is a ribbon for you, for all the good you do, helping people with loans and their money you do a good job and deserve this." Then he said, "I give you this ribbon but this other ribbon you must pass on to someone you think deserves this." "These ribbons you must write of the result for our school project so please let me know tomorrow, your results." I took the ribbon and thought and thought on who I could give it too, then I knew exactly who! I took the ribbon and gave it to my son, I said, "listen I know your life can be hard at times I was a teen too you know, I also know I don't always express to you in an approving way about your choices, but that is only because I love you and want the best for you. I want you to know I think the world of you, you make me so proud to be your father, you really deserve this ribbon." Just then my son as if he were holding back a wall of emotion started bawling like a baby shaking, I asked, "what's the matter with you?" He said, "Dad I had wrote a suicide note to you and mom, it is up in my room. But now I will throw it away, I didn't realize how much I meant to you, I didn't think you liked me. Now I know you are and you do."

Two stories of gifts that have changed lives, these may have happened or not but they have a real validity to them that even if they were made up they can make a real difference.

I think the second story is called the Blue Ribbon, the first story I am not sure what it was called but if you are lucky enough you may one day find these in your mail still being passed around like I received many years ago myself.


answered 27 Dec '09, 08:41

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

Well, yes a Christmas gift can change your life even a physical actual gift can do that especially if you really haven't gotten any gifts or many gifts before and you are especially always trying to make someone elses Christmas happy or you are pretending to already be happy.

I have a dear friend gave me a Christmas gift, for as a child I really didn't get many Chritmas gifts or presents very very few but I was still some how happy and glad for Christmas morning to come around for the fruits smelled and tasted so good and the food was very good. I actually don't remember opening a present. But I did get a few in my childhood life time.

I have received a gift that I didn't expect and it was things they notice I liked or needed. You talking about it lifting my spirits I was like a kid on cloud nine. I was so happy I was radiating from the inside out and you could actually see it in me.

Maybe it was because I haven't really recieve many gifts through out my life.

Now I try to keep myself lifted up so they the people I met I can say or do somthing for them to put a smile on their face or make them feel better about them selfs. Because people now of days seems to throw negative thoughts your way and you have to not reach out and catch them.

If we can take that love and caring for one another from the season of Christmas on through out the following year it would be so great. We seem to have a spirt of helping and caring to a higher degree during the Christmas Season.


answered 25 Dec '09, 09:58

flowingwater's gravatar image


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