Do you have any idea as to why I am having the constant feelings and thoughts about why I am still living on this earth?

asked 16 Jan '10, 21:34

finally%20detroyed's gravatar image

finally detroyed

edited 24 May '11, 06:37

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦


I am trying really hard to quietly observe without participation, but this question drew me in to add my two cents worth.

This question has been a constant companion in my life but it meant different things at different stages in my life.

Most of my early years, I was constantly bothered by my inability to relate to most people around me at the level that existed every day. All interactions and conversations seemed so superficial. The very act of being or acting socially approachable seemed such an un-natural, almost fake, way to go through life.

Why I couldn’t relate to everybody, I don't know. All I know is that the only time I enjoyed existing is when I engaged in some sort of play where the individuality of each who was participating disappeared into the background.

So I became, introverted, unhappy, very depressed, filled with self pity and constantly asked the question "Why do I exist". I was really asking God, "God why did you send me here to suffer this way in silence? Nobody understands me, or even gives a damn about my existence. So why am I here? Do you care that I exist?

I became really lonely in my existence. I started noticing that no matter how good I was at developing a friendship with someone, I felt still all alone on this inside. It is as-if no matter how much I tried to share myself with others, nobody really understood what the "I am" that is within me was going through.

Out of this desperate and utter loneliness a revelation slowly emerged. I kept on asking for help to keep existing. (I was constantly close to suicide). Every time I actually tried to end my life, a miraculous almost divine interference kept me alive. I began to notice that there was in fact a divine power or presence that actually existed in reality. It was not the stuff you just read about & comprehend through contemplation. No there was something else, more real. This thing was free from any religion or discipline or philosophy.

This thing wasn't out there; it is actually within every one of us. I started to see that this power is who we really are. It is the constant companion that you have within you. This is the portion of your self that you refer to as "I am".

I started asking my own "I am" to show me why I exist. And depending on the moment the question is asked, I have always received what ever answer I need to receive at that particular moment. (Basically I am saying that you get a different answer each time you ask the question).

This is the person that I always trust in any and every decision I make. This person within, is the same person that is within each and every one of us. So when you speak to your child, you are speaking to the person within you that is also within your child. When you speak to your best friend, you are speaking to the person within you that is also within your best friend. (Or you are talking to yourself through your friend) And when you are at war, you are fighting the person within you that is also appearing through your enemy.

I find that what ever you decide you are, this person within has the power to create for you. So when someone says "You can be what ever you can be", ask the person within yourself to show you "Ok, show me how I can be what ever I want to be".

This person within is not a lost portion of yourself that you have somehow forgotten about. It is not a part of you that is closer to God that you must somehow re-discover to have this relationship. It is the very person that you have as a companion within your consciousness everyday. It is the very person who is reading these words right now. That is the person who can ask & give at the same time.

If you ask the question "Why do I exist?" with a lonely feeling, the experience is immediately set in motion in the form of "So be it" by the powers that are available to the "I am" that is asking the question. (The "I am" is not exactly all powerful in the form that we experience it within our consciousness, but It has the power to ask and receive with every motion of our own "I am" presence).

Now, finally, If you ask the same question "Why do I exist?" with a great anticipation of knowingness, as if the answer is a positive asking, for a clear guidance towards you sense of purpose of existence, you will find that, once again, the "I am" within you will declare "So be it" and suddenly all of these exciting possibilities for a new direction for you life will emerge out of that simple desire for guidance.

Of course, you still have to get up from the couch and do something to make it happen. But you will be excited by the potential that is waiting to be manifested through you.

I know that seems like a long winded answer, but hopefully this answer can help if the question was asked from a position of desperation.


answered 17 Jan '10, 19:24

The%20Traveller's gravatar image

The Traveller

Thank you for giving that answer in such detail and personal information and I am glad that this question drew you out to answer it for I believe it will help the person that ask it for all the answers come from different prospective and view points and hopefully one of these answers will help the person who asked it thanks The Traveller.

(18 Jan '10, 03:59) flowingwater

I like the way you put it.Thank you for sharing, namaste

(19 Oct '10, 06:55) daniele

Because you came here to learn and grow and wherever you are at right 'Now' take that as your starting point. You are a part of the 'One Great Mystery' that we are all a part of and where you are at right now is where you need to be in order to grow and get you to that next moment. Sit in the silence with your question " why am I still living?" and the answer will come to you - you'll know what to do next. You are not on this journey alone. I hope and pray you find the answers you are looking for.


answered 16 Jan '10, 22:55

Michaela's gravatar image


You are still living because you haven't completed your journey yet. Apparently you still have something to learn from this lifetime.


answered 16 Jan '10, 23:46

Vesuvius's gravatar image


There are plenty of truly inspirational people on this website who can explain WHY you (or anyone else) are living on this earth better than I ever could.

I'm concerned that the answer to your question as to why you have these thoughts and feelings may not be simply curiosity and/or a love of exploring things spiritual but an indication of depression. I hope I'm wrong.

You have much to contribute. Simply asking your question will change the lives of many who will read and learn from the answers. You could soon find yourself in a position of being able to use what you're going through to help others pull through similar situations.

For instance you may like to create an account at to offer and receive support. offers inspirational ebooks for free and my website has plenty of inspirational material too (see my profile if interested).


answered 17 Jan '10, 02:17

shazsays's gravatar image


I hope it is not what shazsays says as he hopes it is not depression. But I can tell you that people who are very depressed really think about and wonder seriously why are they here anyway and that they don't want to be here they may not want to kill themselves but they wouldn't mind not being here because they are so very unhappy and depressed to the point they see no happiness or joy in anything at all. Like shazsays says I hope it is not that.

If it is something else than we are all on a journey and there are things we must all do and accomplish for our selves and others and there are things we must do and knowledge we must acquire to further our spiritual understanding of our spiritual being of who we are and the fact that we are connected to God because he is our creator and that he loves us all and that includes you. We must develop our personal relationship with God and get as close to him as we can and seek his guidance and love.


answered 17 Jan '10, 06:05

flowingwater's gravatar image


Are you anxious, or excited about still living? It you are anxious, and is troubled about something, and you do not like yourself anymore, them you should be talking to someone to help you with this. If you are excited, then continue to spread the good news, and joy of living.

Life is beautiful; life is what you make it. Life is to be enjoyed, and to be lived to the fullest. Life is a journey, with many ups, and downs, but life is joy. Life is that beautiful smile on your face, that shows the joy in your heart, so live your life, and love to live your life. Life is precious; your are precious, so love yourself, and love your life. For we only past this way, but once, so make the best of the time you have, and remember to tell everyone you meet on the way, how wonderful it is to be still living your life. And the purpose you are here is to live your life, and to do your part in living your life.


answered 17 Jan '10, 08:45

Inactive%20User's gravatar image

Inactive User ♦♦

People like to say we have a mission and that is why we are here but this is okay if someone feels that they found their mission but to others that can be depressing. You can feel like you missed the boat and this life is messed up that you are only existing day to day with no mission that you could find. I know I had experienced this many times over years myself but when you really look at life there is no mission so you did not miss the boat when it came to finding your mission or purpose.

Everyone is really doing what they want or believe they can have do or be, so there are those happy and those depressed but happiness comes from being happy not from achievements. We can make many achievements and feel good but that doesn't last because the good feeling we had because we felt we deserved that for what we did but don't push it more than a few days before we feel undeserving of happiness again. That is no way to be happy because of a cause, to be happy is a choice of feeling. There are very wealthy people that are very happy and very wealthy people very unhappy, there are very poor people very unhappy and very poor people very happy, it is not things but their choices of how they feel that makes them happy or unhappy.

Since there is nothing to achieve, no predestined path, no set mission, you have total freedom to have do or be anything you want to. So even life of why we are still here is to continue to enjoy every day of life.


answered 17 Jan '10, 10:30

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

Do you have any idea as to why I am having the constant feelings and thoughts about why I am still living on this earth?

You are not doing what you came here to do and you are being blessed with a reminder.

If you do not know what you are supposed to do in this life, and most don't, just do what presents itself to you. Sometimes it is not the job that we do that is important, it is the people we meet, the conversations we have, the very small kindnesses that one does not even think about.

You will be surprised in your Life Review at how much you touched people and changed events, for better or worse, and all without realising it. Scarey when you think about it.

The fact that you are getting the reminder so clearly should cheer you up and encourage you to act upon it. It must be really worthwhile. :)


answered 04 Mar '10, 06:17

Inactive%20User's gravatar image

Inactive User ♦♦

We ALL have a purpose in life. We are all here for THAT fulfill that purpose that God has and had for us since our conception. Lorraine is right in saying that it's not necessarily the job we have but WHO we meet and WHO we help along the way. Of course some people have jobs that require them to help others daily. That is important. I believe it's all about giving. We must be caring, giving people to help those humans AND animals who need help/love/encouragement, etc. in life. We must be kind and considerate and follow the ten commandments. Ask God for guidance as I have and you will realize what it is you are to do. Have the read "The Five People You Meet In Heaven" by Mitch Albom? It is wonderful!


answered 30 Aug '10, 01:06

Bren's gravatar image


simple fact is... because your carbon has not sufficiently decayed... yet. Period.


answered 19 Oct '10, 05:13

bob's gravatar image


you have a goal to achieve, and it seems that most of us get there by experiencing the material form of mankind


answered 20 Oct '10, 23:18

fred's gravatar image


Go to an acupuncturist. That's how I got out of the negative side of the Why am I still here. I was in the never-ending loop of negatively only until I decided that I wanted to get out of it.

Before I took that step, I would sleep in my bed for 14-16 hours a day for a couple weeks when it felt the worst for me. People would tell me something, I wouldn't listen, I'd have my own thought and think that I wasn't meant to be here. I felt completely destroyed. This, I felt was humble, that I didn't deserve anything in the universe. I didn't deserve any love. But now that I look back at it, I wasn't being humble at all. I was being arrogant by being unaccepting of who I was, and why I was here. For me, the depression I experienced became a blessing as I can experience living on the opposite spectrum now.

Acupuncture, reiki healer, witch doctor, whatever it may be, action is the next step for manifestation of the thought. If you wish to ground your spirit without the help of others, all you have to do is go outside and take a walk, exercise, or go to the mountains. I think this has to do with the Red Chakra being almost depleted. So if you feel your want to change your thought pattern, wear some red, be in a red room, eat red food, get a red gemstone. After doing that, you will see the question you asked in a different light.

*Another source may stem from the depletion of orange Chakra, the sexuality. Commiting vices unto yourself, or orgasms as doctors may call it, drains a lot of your energies to enjoy life. I do recall the acupuncturist asking me seriously whether I had been having sexual relationships with someone after giving me a diagnosis. In the Taoist texts, sperm is related very much to your life force. In the Gnostic texts, they refer to these energies for transmutation, an alchemy of sorts. So, if there has been nothing traumatic in your life, but all of a sudden you feel down and things, please do consider using your vices if you choose to change.

*Edit: Added some more explanations to as to why you may feel this way after reading gnostic texts about sexuality.


answered 28 Mar '12, 20:53

DiusPius's gravatar image


edited 01 Apr '12, 05:01

The text was written for teens, but that was what I was reading and perhaps might be related or perhaps it may not. They might sound a little bit too pious and strict, but I do believe that the author has truthful intentions and you can ignore his stern style of writing. Whatever it may be I hope you of wellness of choices.

(01 Apr '12, 05:07) DiusPius

dius pius, we are all gods in the making, needing to lean one step at a time. the recognition of compassion may get an "A", yet there is always more to evolve until all takes a rests for awhile

(01 Apr '12, 19:48) fred

I would not bother telling you why, because that question is yours to answer. So you tell me, why are you still here?


answered 02 Apr '12, 06:16

CalonLan's gravatar image


we all make the choice to come here and experiance this life even if you do not remember it so suicide is not good because you would stop your self from having this experiance enjoy this experiance and do the best you can do with it! stop feeling sorry for your self! stop being a victim in this world! things affect you only because you let them affect you! so help your self and help other we all can help each other! it does not take much to help someone sometime it is just word to set them in the right way! and to set you in the right way listen to yourself and listen to other and you will find your path! each journey of a thousand step begin with one step! so keep on walking and enjoy!

as for the feeling it is because you need to seek the truth. if you would know the truth you would not have that feeling.


answered 12 Jun '11, 08:10

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 28 Mar '12, 19:22

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