I was reading one of Stingray's answers and saw this:

"Do or think something that makes you "feel good", not just calm...Good...something that puts a smile on your face"

I can't find anything like that. The best I can do is feel calm. I can imagine something that would make me feel good; but then I can't act on it and I feel bad. Simply visualizing makes the impulse to act stronger; an impulse which gets frustrated, making visualizing a frustrating activity.

asked 31 Dec '12, 14:25

flowsurfer's gravatar image


edited 31 Dec '12, 14:58

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

(31 Dec '12, 14:56) Grace

I have used songs and music videos A LOT. They used to work. The problem is that after a while they just remind me of how empty my life is. And by work I mean they used to make me feel good (euphoric even), they didn't actually make anything in my life better.

(31 Dec '12, 15:01) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer - So it isn't feeling good that eludes you, it is sustaining that feeling? Do you meditate every day? I would suggest that, and using EFT to clear negative emotion. Once you are feeling neutral, you are on your way to real change: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/8536/should-i-break-broad-topics-into-smaller-topics-to-perform-vibrational-work http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/8829/after-reaching-the-neutral-point-how-do-you-continue-to-raise-your-vibration-around-a-subject

(31 Dec '12, 15:21) Grace
showing 0 of 3 show 3 more comments

The best I can do is feel calm. How do I find something that makes me feel good instead?

If feeling calm is the best you can do right now then that's fine for now.

If you can make it your daily target to just feel calm on a regular basis, there will come a time (probably within a few days of being calm consistently) where your fixed emotional range will shift and you'll suddenly discover you can feel better than calm.. At that point, calm will feel like an easy state to achieve.

Also at that point, you'll notice an interesting effect where those old good-feeling songs and music videos start "working" again for making you feel good.

Until that natural shift happens, it's better not to beat yourself up for not feeling great. It's just where you are right now.

And, to be honest, you're probably not going to hear or understand the advice that many on this site are giving you - including me - until you reach that better-feeling place. Most stuff here will just seem annoying and vague to you :)


answered 31 Dec '12, 16:27

Stingray's gravatar image


I have been through ups and downs emotionally. The problem is that the more times I go through ups and then crash back down, or even just stay in the calm zone, the more empty the ups feel. The ups no longer feel real, they feel like taking a drug and then waking up with a hangover. I'm almost 30 and I have no money, no qualifications, no friends, never even kissed a girl and no real interest in anything. All the projects I started, all the dreams I had, crashed and burned; now I just feel old.

(31 Dec '12, 18:18) flowsurfer

Even when I feel calm, I'm calm mostly because I am avoiding thoughts and situations that trigger anxiety. When I look back at them, the anxiety is actually greater than it was before.

(31 Dec '12, 18:39) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer - "When I look back at them, the anxiety is actually greater than it was before" - I know that you're trying to make that sound like something bad :) ...but it's actually a good sign. See Is meditation a cure-all? It's a demonstration that your emotional guidance system is working just fine. If you were depressed and you didn't know it then that would be a problem...but that's not you :)

(01 Jan '13, 05:46) Stingray

Okay, but after years of this the only thing that has happened is that I got older and my life got worse. So how do I go from hopeless and frustrated to certain of a bright future?

(01 Jan '13, 16:20) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer - There is masses of information on IQ regarding how you can make that emotional shift. It's up to you to find what works for you. But most importantly, if you are genuinely interested in changing you have to stop justifying where you are. Since you've come to IQ, I've noticed that you've constantly reaffirmed how bad your life currently is. You have to give that up if you really want change to happen. It's only going to keep you locked even more firmly where you are.

(03 Jan '13, 07:09) Stingray

Yes! Being calm has always been a good starting point for me when off vibrationally.

(24 Jan '13, 13:03) figure8shape
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments

Feeling anxiety is not as bad as you might think. I know you won't believe me in your current mood, but at least just acknowledge this as a possibility.

I had endless panic attacks myself for years so i know what i'm talking about. Having anxiety steadily gives you great opportunity to make a quantum leap forward in achieving your desires in much shorter time than others. This is because you are experiencing the contrast and your higher self clearly knows what you do want, which is now a incredibly strong desire.

It's like a piece of elastic being stretched further and further... and then the stretched elastic snaps back into alignment and what they want magically manifests...and often with dramatic speed because of the amount of elastic energy that was built up.

alt text

But knowing this isn't very helpful, right? Here is what i believe will help you in a very short time with your anxieties.

Go to www.mc2method.com and simply use the password "mc2free" (no purchase required)

There is a audio course that will lead you through the tequnique. Just relax and listen.

It's my "emergency-technique" in my toolbox for conquering all anxieties.

It is about getting a taste of your anxieties. But you can only do that if you are willing to confront them. If you do, you will see that they disappear and leave you with a calm, peaceful, wonderful feeling (often in matter of minutes).


answered 01 Jan '13, 01:13

releaser99's gravatar image


I like the MC2 Method...thanks for sharing @releaser99, I learned a lot and passed it on. I find myself monitoring (even more) how I feel emotionally (internally/physically)...it's making a positive impact. In other words, paying even MORE attention to my Emotional Guidance System :)

(24 Jan '13, 13:06) figure8shape
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