We all know the saying "forgive and forget" but it is wiser to forgive and not forget ... often to settle relational conflicts we simply forgive, apologize and the problem is forgotten ... unless there is real evolution the situation will come back again and again.

The path that i try to follow is the 3 rules path ;

  • acknowledge and accept the law of attraction; like attracts like.

  • deliberate creation ; that which i think and that which i believe or hope, happens.

  • art of allowing ; i am what i am and i'm ready to allow others to be what they are. When i'm ready to allow others to be what they are, even when they don't allow me to be what i am, i will be an allower.

It seems to me that the way to become an allower is to forgive and not forget ... how is the best way to do this ?

have fun

asked 13 Jan '12, 23:59

blubird%20two's gravatar image

blubird two

edited 15 Jan '12, 03:40

Please clarify for me, so I can understand - HOW being an "allower" helps you NOT forget?

(14 Jan '12, 00:45) ele

Hello ele, my meaning is the other way round ... learning not to forget the conflictual relationship is a way to become an allower :)

(14 Jan '12, 00:53) blubird two
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If we define forgiveness as the action of forgiving someone for doing something (anything) that, in our own estimation (or the collective's estimation), they did wrong; we have created a scenario in which we’re allowing for the possibility of absolute right and wrong. They are wrong, so we blame them. Yes?

However, when viewing forgiveness from a higher perspective in which we understand that right and wrong are relative terms; then we see that the idea of forgiveness is based on the faulty assumption that there’s something that's empirically right or wrong, rather than something that just is. Correct?

On this site we talk about the LOA and reality creation, etc. In understanding these concepts, at some point one must come to the realization that these things are either true or they're not true. Right?

Let's say they are true, so what does that mean? It means that we create 100% of our reality 100% of the time. It doesn't mean that we create our reality some of the time and at other times it's created by someone else. Does it?

So we can see that, obviously, whatever happens in our reality is our own doing, in terms of being our own responsibility, because we created all of our reality. Do you see?

Now, let's say that someone either doesn't know about the LOA and reality creation or they simply don't believe it. If these concepts are empirically true, then they are always working in the background anyway, regardless of and in spite of an individual's beliefs to the contrary. Right?

The bottom line is this: someone who doesn’t know or someone who doesn’t believe, even though they’re still unknowingly responsible for creating their own reality; cannot possibly, under any circumstances, be wrong. Can they?

Therefore, when seen from a higher perspective, which is what, I assume, everyone here is aiming for: forgiveness is never necessary, because there is no right or wrong and there never has been. Make sense?

Of course, as we go through our life we may do things which are not in our best interest or that don’t serve us, but we always have the opportunity to learn from them. And we have the ability to make different choices in future in order to change them or we can choose to make the same choices over and over again and see similar results.

The need to forgive can only be present where first there is blame. A big part of raising our vibrational frequency and thus reaching a higher perspective or viewpoint is achieved by refusing to play the blame game. Therefore, why not make blaming and complaining things of the past; things you did prior to your new understanding and leave it at that?


answered 16 Jan '12, 22:45

Eddie's gravatar image


Eddie - yes on a "higher" level, but we are nevertheless also lowly humans with denser "physical" bodies and inevitable emotions ... quoting Brian 3 on the subject of "father forgive them for they know not what they do" ... "individuals must be greeted with compassion and inherent forgiveness" ... "it is a recognition of the ultimate ignorance/innocence of mankind that we cannot fathom the full impact of our actions" ... have a great day :)

(17 Jan '12, 00:18) blubird two

Bluebird - why label yourself as lowly? The fact that you're participating in these kinds of inquiries suggests that you're already functioning from a higher perspective :)

(17 Jan '12, 00:28) Eddie

@Eddie - thanks :)

(17 Jan '12, 02:00) blubird two
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

You should forgive AND forget. Look at the words for-give, for-get, if you look at them that way you can understand the true meaning of the words. Because your thoughts and feelings attract to you what you experience at some point you must have been holding a negative thought for a while to experience whatever you need to forgive. So you need to replace the thought with a positive one and keep doing that. Replacing the thought is for-giving and for-getting. Your then GIVING a new positive thought FOR the old negative one or GETTING a new positive thought FOR the old negative one. And because like attracts like then you will experience the this new reality. It is law, it has to come!


answered 14 Jan '12, 17:28

AboveBelow's gravatar image


I don't understand- why 'forget'?

If we're talking on Biblical terms: where in the Bible does it say that we are supposed to "forget"? There are countless versus instructing forgiveness, some saying that the person must repent BEFORE you forgive them, others saying you must forgive everyone even if they don't want to be forgiven. But I have never seen a single verse that says to leave yourself vulnerable to those who would take advantage of your excessive forgiveness.

If we're talking in logical terms: if you forgive & forget constantly, are you not just going to be a door mat?

(14 Jan '12, 21:57) Snow

"Where in the bible?"

Ps. 103:12

When God forgives, God forgets.

(13 Nov '23, 20:37) ele

The only reason you would have to forgive is if you judged the person as doing wrong. The thing is, there is no right and wrong, there is only God. Right and wrong are on different sides of the same coin. Let go of the past and the judgement. Learn from all your experiences, integrate those experiences, let go and move on to a more expanded You.



answered 14 Jan '12, 20:54

Brian's gravatar image


@Brian - yes i agree there is no right or wrong, no one can judge another ... however i can feel hurt by an event, how to forgive so as to dissipate the hurt ?

(16 Jan '12, 00:13) blubird two

Bluebird So your actual question is How to Forgive? Sorry, I never got that.

(16 Jan '12, 01:28) ele

@Blubird, I think the level of hurt wich is incurred by you is relative to the amount of attachment you have placed on an event. To counteract this attachment I like to have the mindset that whatever happens is in my highest and best, and that seems to dissapate the hurt pretty well. Love without attachment. Also, I think the "you" which has gotten hurt is actually your ego. The "You", your "God You" knows that everything is working out perfectly. Peace

(18 Jan '12, 05:30) Brian

@Brian - yes i agree, it's the ego that hurts, however i think it is linked with something that i experienced as a very young child the memory of which is hidden from my consciousness ... :)

(18 Jan '12, 11:02) blubird two
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by being aware of it. if you are aware that something is not working you can try to change it. if it is someone else problems and he does not want to solve is problem it is his choice but you do not have to forget it he is stuck in this and the same pattern will happen over and over again. so just forgive him to not make the choice to solve his issue. he is like a bull that see a red scarf and go nuts for nothing. his choice not yours. his problem not yours. what you could do to help him is hide the scarf with out him knowing it. experience and enjoy.


answered 14 Jan '12, 23:56

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 17 Jan '12, 03:36

If I understand correctly, you seem to have already answered your own question.

It is wise to not forget when people cross you, because one shouldn't allow themselves to be taken advantage of.

So the solution is simple: when someone [genuinely] requests forgiveness, give it freely. Let go of any emotional ties on the subject (i.e: do not dwell on the hurt or damage caused by their actions), but always keep yourself aware of the event, so should a similar situation arise you are able to react accordingly.

As the situation changes (repeat apologies for the same offenses, etc) so must your immediate reaction, but the end result should always you be releasing any negative emotions on the subject.

When you bottle emotions [whether they be positive or negative] they will grow. This is why it is very unhealthy to store negative emotions for others, and can even be dangerous to hold on to excessively positive emotions where they are unwelcome.

If you were asking for specific methods for facilitating this process, I personally change the way I look at the motivations of the person who is doing something to upset me. And of course [as one of the Four Agreements states] I try to take nothing they do personally.

The more I try to understand why someone would behave one way or another the more empathy I can feel for their situation. This empathy absolutely does not mean that I necessarily like the person any more or less, but understanding helps me in accepting situations, because I can at least explain why they happened.

[A curious question for anyone who understands the more advanced formatting controls for this site: When a youtube video is clicked it opens in a sub-window embedded in the site, similar in nature to any given Facebook menu. Is there any way to use this feature for pictures, rather than having the links force open a new window?]


answered 14 Jan '12, 02:11

Snow's gravatar image


edited 14 Jan '12, 02:18


Hello Snow, after reading your answer i realize that the question could have been worded "what is the best way to liquidate the emotional content of a disruptive event?" ... :)

(14 Jan '12, 04:29) blubird two

An excellent question, and if you ever get an answer I encourage you to share it [with me first if possible]. For me personally each new disruptive event always finds a way to be disruptive, no matter how well I prepare ahead of time. ;)

As for exercises to the method.. I included the most simple explanation of what allows me to move past emotional turmoil, which is trying to comprehend the individuals motivations. This is not wise for everyone to do however, because for some if they are unable to come up with an answer it is just even more maddening for them.

(14 Jan '12, 06:19) Snow
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